Layer on Layer

“… the miracle, where the secrets are: the paint itself, swished around, roughly, gently, layer on layer, thick or thin, not more than a quarter of an inch ever -- God can happen in that quarter of an inch—the occasional brush hair left embedded, colors mixed over each other, tones showing through, sometimes the weave of the linen revealing itself… Finally, the frame, translucent gilt or carved wood. The whole thing is done.”
― Steve Martin, An Object of Beauty

There’s nothing quite worse than having to wake to an early alarm, to have to shift out of the warm cocoon of blankets, on a cold autumn morning. To make matters worse, it meant leaving the warmth of the sleeping man in her bed. The sun was still fast asleep alongside her boyfriend, and Peggy felt a keen longing to stay wrapped in his arms, a genuine pain at parting. Oh, how much could change within a couple of seasons. She made a point to remember the longing, to keep it in the back of her mind. She’d have to find a morning to clear so she could spend it wrapped up in Steve.

She never did feel as comfortable and at ease as she did around Steve.

But duty called, and there was more work to be done than usual. The case that had kept her at the office much of the previous two weeks required her attention again. And that didn’t even take into consideration the two missions her team was prepping, nor the already active ones. She had a lot on her plate, including a new team member added to the mix. Although he was still on his probationary weeks, long days of training and dealing with Howard’s lab, Bucky had been officially reporting for duty.

The office had undergone some changes with the addition of Barnes to the team, with Thompson seemingly still figuring out whether he was on the ex-soldier’s side or against him. Luckily, she hadn’t had to mediate any disputes, as clearly Barnes could hold his own. It made matters significantly easier, knowing she wouldn’t have to clean up after a pissing contest, so much so that she’d brought Barnes into team meetings even though he was still under training. In fact, she felt a little devilish thrill to see Thompson not so comfortable what with Bucky not seeming the least bit concerned with him. Jack always could use a good kick to the ass. She still hadn’t forgotten the way he tried to throw her under the bus a few weeks ago.

“So? How’s the boyfriend?” Howard asked. “Has he changed his mind yet?”

It wasn’t the first time Howard had attempted this line of inquiry, refusing to stop trying to get her to make Steve reconsider SHIELD’s offer.

“Changed his mind about what?”

“Oh c’mon Peg. Tell me you seriously haven’t tried to convince him to join up.”

She frowned at him. “I haven’t. He made his decision. I respect it.”

“I know you’ve seen his record by now. You know it turned you on to see that long list of commendations.”

She narrowed her eyes at him so viciously he let out a nervous laugh. Sure, she was well versed in Steve’s military record. It didn’t change her mind though.

“I just don’t see why he took himself out of it since he’s physically perfect,” Howard said in exasperation.

“Howard, he has PTSD. He spent weeks unconscious. And he’s still healing from that. He served his country. He fought to try to bring freedom to those who deserved it. If he wants out, he deserves it. End of story.”

Howard must have heard the seriousness in her tone because for once, he didn’t push the issue. Instead, he nodded as if he finally understood and left her office in silence.

Peggy had been changing into comfy pajamas when she noticed Steve sitting up in her bed not with his sketchbook but a book.

“How’s therapy been?” she asked as she hung up the last of the clothes she hadn’t tossed into her hamper.

She could see vast improvement in him in the last few weeks, and he seemed eager to discuss progress he’d been making with his therapist. But they hadn’t discussed his therapy assignment since he first mentioned it, and now she couldn’t recall the last time she saw him sketching in his dream journal.

“Good,” he said distractedly.

He did however have another nightmare the night before, and she wondered if he’d documented it in his therapy journal.

“And the assignment? Did you remember to draw today?”

He set the book down and looked at her.

“I… No I didn’t.”

She didn’t want to push, but she thought it was important for him to remember to do the assignment.

She shrugged and slipped under the covers.

“Just a soft reminder,” she told him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “How’s that been? Drawing depictions of dreams. I can’t imagine it’s easy. Do you pick a particular image?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah… Sometimes I remember a lot, and I’ll draw different pieces as I remember them. With the nightmares there’s usually one particular image burned into my head, the whole thing one big mess in my head.”

Peggy leaned over to cup his cheek and brush her forehead against his. Once she pulled away he smiled softly.

“Do you think it’s helping? Maybe making more sense of them?” she asked.

He tilted his head as he considered this. “I think so. It’s good to learn not to just ignore or try to forget them. But actually confront what the nightmares and dreams actually are.” She nodded at him, holding his hand in both of hers. “Sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes it’s not until I start sketching that I even realize what I dreamed.”

“But you’re keeping at it? That’s what counts Steve. You’re doing your best.”

“Yeah. I’m trying.”

She nodded. “And that’s why I was reminding you. Because I can see the little changes since you started meeting with the new therapist. I think it’s important that you keep up the progress. And that’s what you and I do. We support each other with the big and little things.”

“Support system,” he replied seriously.

That’s what they were. They were part of each other’s support system. They were partners, even through the messier parts of their beings. They each had to do the work themselves, but there was nothing better than having someone to walk with, someone to pull you out of your own head, a gently reminder that it was okay to reach for help. To deserve it. And Steve’s hugs, she swore, contained a magical property, one that actively soothed her body’s stress.

The next few days were hellish. She hadn’t been sleeping much again, spending a few nights on the couch in her office rather than going all the way home just for a few hours of sleep.

She’d been running on fumes, and when she saw Steve calling, realizing she hadn’t seen him in days, cutting calls to him to minimum, she slumped in her office chair and desperately sought out his voice on the other line.

The rants tumbled out of her before she realized it, stress having gotten the better of her.

“Peg, you sound exhausted,” he said.

“Well, I have been up all night,” she replied dryly.

He made a sound of disapproval. “Peggy.”

She sighed. “I just need to get a few more things done.”

“You’re going to burn yourself out if you don’t take a break.”

“I’ll take a break, I just have a lot to finish here first. It’ll be different in a day or two”

She tried to convince him she had it all under control before they hung up. She thought she did have it all under control. After all she could handle it.

The day fell away into night, ushering in another long, stressful day. The morning and early afternoon had passed in a flash before she realized she hadn’t eaten in hours and she had quite a few missed texts from Steve. Nursing a headache, fingers pinching between her brows, she called him.

“How long have you been working straight?” he asked as if he could immediately tell from the sound of her voice that she’d hadn’t taken it easy.

She sighed checking the time. “Don’t know, I’ve been running around since something like six-thirty. There’s just so much I needed to figure out.”

He sighed, and she felt the deep sound all the way in her stomach.

“Okay, Peggy, listen to me,” he started, calm but firm. “You’ve gone nine hours without a break. I am asking you to please go outside, into the fresh air, get yourself something to eat. Please. You’re not doing anyone, especially yourself any favors by burning yourself out. Go. Break. Fresh air and food. Clear your head. Okay?”

She sighed loudly into the phone. “Yes, of course, you’re right. I’ll go right now.”

“I mean it Peg. I’m asking you to do this. Right now.”

She nodded resolutely before realizing he couldn’t see her. “Putting on my coat as we speak. I promise.”

“Good. Take a few deep breaths.”

“Okay. Thank you Steve.”

“Support system,” he told her.

“Thank you Steve. I know I can be stubborn.”

He chuckled. “Go. Fresh air and food. I swear it’ll do wonders. Text me later.”

What are you doing an hour and a half from now? She texted Steve.

          Probably painting. Why?

Want to take a break with me? I could use caffeine.

He sent her a full row of smiling emojis, which she was embarrassed to say made her heart pound. Nothing like her sweet, soft boyfriend to turn her insides into jelly.

Although the closest coffee shop was just around the corner from her SHIELD office, Steve beat her there, looking cozy in a knitted sweater and scarf, already holding two white and green paper cups.

He offered hers up with a smile but she set it immediately down on the table he managed to snag in the corner. She hugged him, nose brushing his neck, inhaling the soft, comforting masculine scent that was Steve.

“Good thing Starbucks is open so damn late,” she breathed.

He laughed. “I’d say it’s a good thing I know where you work now,” he murmured into her ear. “It means I can come meet you for a mid-evening break on nights you’re determined to see the sun rise.”

She huffed at him but leaned back into him, relaxing under the touch of his broad palms.

“Speaking of which. How’d you manage to get out of the office?”

“I scheduled it. Specifically with you in mind,” she told him, snagging her cup and sighing at the delight that was a hot latte on a rainy autumn night that was determined to last indefinitely.

“Did you now?”

She smiled up at him. “Yes. I needed to clear my head, as you so suggested. What better way than to see your lovely face?”

Months into a relationship and her words could still managed to turn his cheeks pink. She couldn’t deny she loved it, loved seeing his lashes flutter as a compliment seeped into his heart.

He reached for her hand, fingers folding into hers, thumb pressing gentle circles into her skin. It’s such a shame she didn’t get to see him more often. She missed waking in bed next to him. She missed the pillow talk. His arms pulled tight around her. The kisses to her neck.

She looked at him. He looked good in the sweater and scarf combo.

“Tell me you brought an umbrella.”

He grinned sheepishly. “I was kinda in a hurry. I have a hood,” he said, showing her the rain jacket he had draped on his chair. “Besides it’s hardly raining anymore.”

She looked out the window, at the drips against the glass, casting street lamps and tail lights into bright, blurry circles of color.

“I love the rain,” she told him.

“Feels like London?”

She hummed. “It reminds me of home,” she said. “Did you really get a coffee? Tell me it’s decaf.”

He grinned. “Hot chocolate. Extra whipped cream.”

“Oh that sounds perfect.”

“It’s cold enough tonight to enjoy one comfortably,” he said with a laugh. “Tea was always a ritual with ma, but hot chocolate, with those little bitty marshmallows, now those were the best nights.”

She smiled a little sadly at him. He didn’t talk about them much, but she knew he missed his parents very much, his mother in particular.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. I was sick a lot as a kid. Ear infections for whole stretches of winter for as long as I could remember. Ma and I would cuddle up with this knitted throw blanket she had since she was young, and we’d read books or tell stories. There was always light to be found even when I was miserably sick.”

She squeezed his hand before running her hand up his arm, resting against his shoulder.

“She liked the rain too. The storms used to scare me. She’d come into my room with hot chocolate, bubbly and warm, and she’d tell me how storms were just the sky working out its emotions. A few bangs, some thunderclap, lots of fat rain tears, and eventually, all calmed, leaving our world wet and smelling like nothing else.”

“Yes, there’s a very distinctive smell to rainfall. Crisp, fresh. Earthy.”

“And don’t forget the puddles for jumping in.”

Peggy grinned at him. “I’m sure you made your mother worry coming home drenched to the bone.”

“Oh yeah. Not amusing when she’d just managed to stave off my colds for a few days. But I couldn’t help it. It was so fun. Buck and I would do it all the way home from school.”

“You miss her.”

He nodded, his eyes a little heavy at the thought.

She kissed him, on the lips, in full view of the coffee shop. She hadn’t seen him in days. She couldn’t help it.

“She’d be very proud of you Steve. Very proud.”

He smiled so brightly at her, it gave off its own warm glow.

“How much time do we have left on this purposely scheduled meeting?” he asked her a few minutes later once the majority of their drinks had been drained.

She hummed, hand back to running up and down his arm. It was probably best to get back to the office sooner than later although she didn’t want to leave.

“I suppose I could spare you a few more minutes.”

“Oh could you now?” he asked with a chuckle.

The rain, still pattering against the window sporadically, had mostly let up, and she longed to be in it.

“How about a walk in the drizzle?”

He grinned and she took his hand, leading him out into the blustery night. The second they’re out of the doorway, Steve pulled her into him, his arm holding her tight. She turned her head and nuzzled against him, head resting against his scarf. Gentle drops roll down on them. She didn’t mind. He was cozy and there’s nothing more inviting than the draw of his warm chest.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a torrential downfall rumbled, rainfall so heavy it engulfed the street in seconds. Steve pulled his rain jacket off, holding it above their heads, mostly over hers.

“There,” he called out, jutting his chin in the direction of the nearest awning.

“Let’s make a dash for it!” she cried back.

“On three. One.”

“Two!”

“Three!” he called out and they ran, Steve perfectly in sync with her, narrowly avoiding the massive puddles that already formed.

They reached the awning in front of a closed storefront, the rain still slapping hard against the concrete. The block was deserted, the glow of streetlights reflected in the mess of water all across the sidewalk and street. They’re both giggling through their heavy breaths. Because of his gentlemanly insistence on keeping her dry, his head was soaked, blond hair sticking to his forehead, cheeks full of color and amusement. Before she knew it she was pulling him by the back of his neck, kissing him. Steve, never one to be far behind, still holding his jacket in one hand, cupped her cheek with the other, lips sure as they sought hers. She was breathless, and so desperate for the warmth of his touch, the heat of his tongue touching hers. She pulled him closer, her back hitting the window, his palm smacking against it not a second later. Cocooned against each other in the relative safety, she could practically feel the romantic element in the air as the steady showers continued around them.

When she pulled back for air, her chest was heaving. Peggy grinned up at him.

“Well that was certainly worth getting caught in the rain for.”

“No kidding,” he said.

They clutched each other close until the rain let up, her heart still beating rapidly even once she returned to her office.

She heeded his advice about taking time to take care of herself. She sets mandatory meal time reminders into her phone and stuck to them. She cleared off her desk of the loads of files, organizing them by urgent and low priority. Then she gave each member of her team new missions to analyze and oversee, including giving Bucky his first independent assignment. It’s the first time in many days she went home by dinnertime without feeling the overwhelming worry that something needed to be completed. After making sure Steve was aware she expected his company for dinner, she spent the rest of the cab ride to her place scheduling out the upcoming three days down to the minute so that she could spend a good few hours not thinking about work at home.

She kissed Steve for a long time in the foyer.

“I thought going out for dinner someplace requiring reservations would be nice, since we haven’t done that in a while. I thought it’d be good for us,” she told him, “but quite honestly, I haven’t been home in ages and I’ve missed it.”

He laughed, kissing her again, his fingers playing with the strings of the hoodie she had changed into, one she had pilfered from him.

“That’s so not a problem in my book,” he said.

She leaned into him, wrapping her arms tight around his waist.

“I’ve missed you,” she said once dinner was eaten, already curling up in her bed early in lieu of the movie they planned on watching.

Steve, still changing into pajamas, turned his head towards her. She liked the line of his profile against the line of his bare back. He kicked his pants away, not bothering to pull a shirt on before crawling in next to her. He reached for her, pulling her into him, limbs tangling, faces just inches apart. She let out a little sigh when Steve’s hands pressed into her back.

“Missed you too,” he said in a serious murmur.

“You know… I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without seeing each other since we met.”

“Well there was that time you were out of town and I didn’t see you for a whole week,” he informed her. “But that was before we started dating.”

“It feels like that was a lot longer ago than it is.”

“I know.”

Peggy leaned in, capturing his bottom lip between hers. Steve let out a pleased noise that made her stomach quiver. Hands roamed, kisses deepening until Steve rolled them, propping himself up over her. He kept his gaze on her face, his right index finger smoothing hair behind her ear, thumb curling around her cheek.

“I’m going to work on keeping more of a balance,” she told him, her own hand coming up to cup his face. “I promise I’ll work on my workaholic tendencies.”

Steve kissed her gently.

“I know you have a hard job. I totally get that regular hours isn’t always a reality,” he said softly. “I can be flexible Peggy. But I care about you. And I just need to know that you’re taking care of yourself as best as you can.”

She bit her lip, nodding. “Your voice always helps. It’s easy to forget how productive I can be after giving myself a small break.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I think we’re both kinda used to going head first into things. Easy to get tunnel vision.”

She brushed her fingers down his jaw, fingers curling into the short hair at his neck. His eyes fluttered closed. She wondered if he was clear on how important he was to her. How much she valued their relationship.

“Steve.” When his eyes opened, she pulled him closer. “You’re very important to me, Steve. I don’t want you to forget that.”

He didn’t say anything, only kissed her with renewed purpose, eager and earnest in his touch. She forgot the rest of what she had to say as she succumbed to his lips and trailing fingers.

After a while, both lying on their sides again facing each other, she remembered the other promise she wanted to make.

“I’m going to make an effort to make sure we add some more regular dates each week. Even if it’s just dinner. A real dinner. Half an hour minimum.”

“Okay. So long as when things stack up at work again, you just talk to me about it.”

“Deal.”

They fell asleep early and it was the first night ages that she slept nearly eight full hours, still managing enough time for a quick breakfast with Steve.

“Hey, so I know you can’t say much, but since you see him more than I do now, is Bucky doing alright?”

“He’s doing well. He’s meshing well with the team. And keeping up nicely.”

“Good. That’s good,” he replied. “We’ve started hitting the gym together regularly, since we otherwise hardly see each other. He says it’s been helping his shoulder a lot, and it’s probably a good idea for me to get more regular exercise again.”

She hummed, reaching over to trail her hand against his shirt.

“For a man who only recently started going to the gym regularly again, you sure have maintained a good definition to that lovely chest of yours.” His cheeks turned faintly pink, so she ran her hand further down. “I mean, of course yours abs aren’t shabby either. Of course, none of which really matters so long as you’re feeling good,” she said, hands still teasing.

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Don’t start what you can’t finish,” he warned in a low voice.

“Yes, you’re right,” she said, lifting her hand up to safer ground. “Although I would like nothing more than to finish.”

He growled impatiently and pulled her into his lap, giggling as he pressed wet kisses against her neck.

She stuck to her scheduling. Of course, meetings, work hours and her dates with Steve had their share of necessary rearrangements, as new priorities cropped up, but she had kept her promise in keeping him updated. It had been one of her personal priorities to make sure that her time with Steve was actually time with Steve, and not just with her phone. With each passing day, it became a little easier to delegate work, a little easier to trust that it could get on without her for an hour. It helped that she swore to Thompson that the next time he tried to railroad her, or anyone else on the team, she’d have him kicked out of the division once and for all. The look on his face when he tried to butter up an unamused Colonel Phillips had made her bite her lip hard to avoid bursting into gleeful laughter.

Peggy made reservations at an upscale Japanese restaurant for one of their dates, specifically choosing it for its romantic lighting and the need to dress up. They hadn’t done that in a while, and she had a perfect little black dress for the occasion. Having changed in her office on her way out, and fixing up her makeup in the back of the cab, she felt pretty proud of herself, especially when she had arrived at Steve’s not only on time, but nearly half an hour earlier than she told him to expect her.

Faint music could be heard from his door. She didn’t bother to knock, choosing to use the spare key he’d given her a few weeks earlier. The kitchen and living room were empty and the music, something classical, with a crescendo of strings, escaped from Steve’s cracked bedroom door.

She poked her head in, taking in the back of him, still in his work clothes, watching his head bob to the music, right hand poised with a paintbrush. She could just make out a canvas in front of him. The curiosity couldn’t be helped. Sure she’d seen him paint walls, and sketch in her presence on plenty of occasions, but she’d never seen him work directly on canvas.

Not wanting to startle him, Peggy knocked loudly on the door. His head whipped around.

“Hey!” he cried out, smile blooming on his face. He reached over to turn down the music and set down his palette. “I lost track of time.”

She shook her head. “I’m early. For once.” He walked over to press a kiss to her cheek. “What are you working on?”

“Oh. It’s the anniversary present for Ana. It’s getting there.”

He stepped to the side, and she gasped, taking another step forward. There was a beautiful landscape conveying a breezy sunshine filled day on a field of flowers, and there in the foreground was the exact likeness of Ana and Jarvis. It was breathtaking, and she didn’t know where to look first.

“Steve!” she cried, unable to express her amazement in words.

“It’s got a lot of work left. But it’s been really fun. That’s why I got so sucked in.”

Her eyes roamed the large canvas, taking in every minute detail, the flecked petals on the flowers, the blades of grass, the texture in the wooden house in the distance. The silhouettes of figures hovering to either side of the couple.

“Those are going to be Ana’s parents,” Steve explained. “I got the idea when Jarvis showed me their wedding album and how he had decided on it for their honeymoon because it was where Ana had spent summers during her childhood with her family.”

“Steve, this is…” She shook her head. “I’m no art critic. And I’m not sure I can properly express it in words. But this is beautiful. It’s so… rich. It’s honestly breathtaking.”

He smiled. “It’ll be better once it’s finished,” he told her modestly. “I’ve got my clothes hanging in the bathroom. I can be ready real quick.”

“Take your time,” she said as she checked her phone. “We still have almost an hour until our reservation. Go. Paint. Really. You know I like to watch.”

“Okay,” he said hesitantly. “But only for ten minutes more minutes, okay.”

“Ten minutes,” she said with a nod.

But at the ten minute mark, she didn’t immediately get his attention. He’d easily slipped back into intense focus, and she was fascinated. They had time, and she wasn’t compelled to break his work. After a few more minutes, he took a step back and then glanced at his own phone.

“Oh!” he cried, setting down his brush. “It’s been way more than ten minutes.”

She grinned sheepishly. “You were really in the thick of it. I hated to bother.”

He snorted. “It’s alright, it’s a good place to stop as any. Anyway we’ve got a date.”

It wasn’t until they arrived at the restaurant, as she handed over her knee length wool coat to coat check that Steve got a glance at the dress. Even in the dim lighting she could see the change in his expression as he inhaled sharply. She pushed her loose hair over her shoulder and reached back for his head. He took it, but then a moment later, his palm pressed against the small of her back.

“That’s some dress for me not have noticed it earlier” he murmured into her ear as they were ushered to their table.

She bit her lip and raised her brows. “Well you were very distracted.”

“You say that like I could possibly be anything but distracted now.”

She turned slightly, until their bodies just met, her eyes pointedly boring into his. “Dinner first,” she told him in a low voice. “I’ll distract you later.”

His grip on her tightened.

After dessert, the check paid, and they headed out of the restaurant and into the autumn night, Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“You were right you know,” he said, “about us going out for dates more.”

“Oh?”

“Yup. Besides being nice to spend time with you, it reminds me just how much I want to go home with you too.”

A cheerful laugh escaped her, and she squeezed his hand. “Oh that’s a guaranteed thing, darling.”

Their rhythm remained on track for several weeks. Peggy felt, for the most part, that her schedule was under control, so much so, that when Bucky had given an explicit invitation to the next Barnes’ family dinner, seeing Steve’s excitement, she had added it to her schedule.

But the erratic nature of her line of work reared its ugly head again.

Peggy tapped the edge of her phone as it rang, pacing around her office, picking up and tossing necessary items into her bag.

“Hey Peggy!” Steve’s voice said cheerfully.

“Hi Steve,” she said, letting out a soft sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something’s come up,” she started. “I have to be in D.C. tonight.”

“Oh okay,” he said easily. “How long are going for?”

She bit her lip and sat down in her chair. “Through the weekend,” she finally said.

“But…” There was a moment of silence she didn’t like, and then what sounded like Steve clearing his throat. “So you won’t make it to the dinner.”

“I’m so sorry Steve. I swear this is urgent and I’m needed specifically. If I could send something in my place I would. Really. Steve, I swear—”

“I believe you Peggy,” he cut her off. “It’s fine. I understand.”

She let out another sigh. “I really am sorry Steve.”

“I know. It’s okay, you can’t help it.”

“Could you please relay my apologies to Bucky’s mother? I know it’s rude to not show up when it’s been planned for a few weeks now.”

“I will. It’s okay Peggy. I know the job comes first.” She couldn’t find the right words to respond. Because the job did have to come first. But it didn’t mean Steve wasn’t her top priority either. “So I guess I won’t catch you tonight?”

“I suppose not. I’m only headed home to grab my luggage on the way to the airport.”

“Alright. Well, text me when you get in?”

“I will,” she promised, holding back another string of sighs and groveling. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, have a safe flight Peg.”

She knew Steve was understanding, that he respected her position, but still, as she sat there once the call ended, she felt terrible. There was nothing for it. The situation was urgent, and she had no time to dwell on it. She packed up the last of her necessary files and marched out of the office.

She arrived back to New York exhausted and sleep deprived, heading right back to work urgently needing to brief her team.

“How was the dinner?” she asked Barnes when he delivered his reports later in the day.

He shrugged. “Same old Barnes’ family shenanigans as always. You missed out on my ma’s famous pot roast.”

He was grinning, but still, she felt a pinch in her stomach.

“Does she know terribly sorry I am for not showing?”

“She knows something came up you couldn’t get out of,” he replied with a nod. It didn’t feel very reassuring.

“And how upset is Steve?”

An amused look flashed over his features.

“Can’t lie Carter. I know he was pretty excited about it,” he said making her sigh. “But he understands. And anyway, trust me I get it. Most people don’t usually actually have shit that’s more important than whatever they’re trying to skip out on. But you do. And you really had no other option in this case.”

Despite his support, she huffed and fell back into her chair.

“Can we reschedule? Or has your mother already decided to dislike me forever?”

Bucky just shrugged and grinned in his infuriating manner, the one that showed he was amused because it was likely to cause amusing drama.

“Relax Carter. I’m sure you’ll still be invited to the next one.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t use that tone with me Barnes, or you’re going to go on the special list of mine that so far is exclusively relegated to Thompson.”

Bucky snickered, scooped up the reports that she had signed and headed out, still smirking at her.

Although she was desperate for a bath and a change of clothes, she headed directly to Steve’s the moment she could spring herself free. She made a point to hug him tight, and ask eager questions about the contents of the dinner she had missed.

“We’ll reschedule. Next one I will be there come hell or high water.”

He looked at her a little warily, as if he knew she couldn’t hold to that kind of promise, as the unexpected could always happen.

“I’m serious Steve. I already told Bucky to tell his mother. Next one. I’ll schedule ahead. I’ll put someone else in charge to hold down the fort for that night.”

“Alright,” he said, still hesitant.

She could only imagine what Mrs. Barnes thought of her already for skipping out on meeting what was effectively her boyfriend’s family. She couldn’t miss the next one for anything short of world catastrophe.

A dinner date was set, Bucky specifically consulting her on his mother’s behalf several times to aid her attendance. Peggy had blocked out the evening in question, specifically planning ahead of time to leave Sousa in charge for the night. She even spent a good hour of her time shopping for an appropriate outfit to wear.

“You don’t have to worry about Buck’s parents. They’re pretty easygoing,” Steve had said when she mentioned purchasing a new dress. “And you’ll like his sisters. I mean of course, Becca who’s in her third trimester has been particularly um… maternal, I guess? She’s been getting a jump on nesting. Apparently took up knitting for the first time for her nerves, but her fingers are swollen so she hasn’t finished anything,” he told her. “And Grace is very calm and collected and sweet. His youngest though, Elise, she’s a little spitfire. Very outgoing and loves to argue. She’s constantly told she should go to law school, but she likes to say she’s morally against lawyers and refuses to fight for the benefit of capitalistic greed.”

“There are plenty of good sections of the law that could use an intelligent, independently-minded woman. Civil rights for example. Or criminal law, holding banks accountable for the devastation they’ve otherwise gotten away with.”

Steve grinned. “You should remind her of that. She might take the suggestion more seriously from another powerful woman.”

She filed every detail away, as if studying up on a case. But still, unbelievably, she, Peggy Carter, known for taking down criminals of all calibers, as the dinner came closer, felt a nervous pinch in her gut grow.

She asked Bucky if there was something she could bring his mother, a dessert or flowers, but he just chuckled and unhelpfully said she didn’t need to do that. She saddled him with extra work that afternoon for being unhelpful and went to Steve for his more helpful input.

The Friday of the Barnes’ family dinner, started with Peggy’s having a hectic morning. She and Stark had a slew of morning meetings, having little time to prepare for them in the car as Jarvis shuttled them to and fro. Then while Howard was dropped back at headquarters, she continued to be chauffeured to another appointment. Nearing the location of her meeting, she suddenly remembered she had forgotten to pick up the cupcakes she specially ordered from the bakery she and Steve picked.

“Leave me the address Ms. Carter. I shall pick them up in your stead and have them safely in possession before the end of your meeting.”

She didn’t have time to breathe in relief, as she sped into the building.

With all her meetings finished for the day, and Jarvis pointing to the bakery box securely resting in the backseat, everything felt better.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“As always, I am happy to be of service,” he said before pressing a smaller box into her lap. She opened it to find an array of cookies. “I decided some sugar was necessary before getting back to the office.”

She wolfed two down in a hurry, sinking back in the passenger seat with a sigh of relief.

Bucky had left over an hour ago to go home and change. Then Steve called and she had to tell them to leave without her that she’d get a car to drive her down to Brooklyn. She was running late. She wouldn’t be early like they planned to be, but she was determined to still make it on time. Peggy stormed out of her office in a hurry only to run into Jarvis.

“Shall we head to Brooklyn then Ms. Carter?”

While there were plenty of solutions to everyday problems in her book, traffic was one she was not equipped to fight, granted it was her fault for leaving the office so late.

“Have I mentioned that I am eternally grateful Mr. Jarvis for offering to drive me to Brooklyn?”

“Yes well, Mr. Barnes had stressed to me that it was of vital importance that you showed up tonight.”

She swiveled her head towards Jarvis so fast it hurt her neck.

“Barnes said what?” Jarvis’ eyes alit with amusement. “Oh ha ha. I don’t appreciate you being in cahoots with him, Mr. Jarvis. What did he actually say? And when?”

“He happened to be telling Mr. Stark that you were due to meet the Barnes clan for dinner, assuring me it’d be a sight to see to have Mr. Rogers bring a lady friend for the first time,” Jarvis said. “And then when five o’clock came and went, and you hadn’t left your office, Mr. Barnes asked me to make sure you left at a proper time.”

Peggy groaned.

“Well, I’m sure they will be thrilled with my manners,” she muttered sarcastically. “I didn’t mean to run late you know. I had set aside plenty of time. I brought everything to the office with me in preparation. Who knew Senator Brandt, after months of avoiding me decided now was the time he was going to take my long offered advice?”

“Well, he is up for reelection.”

“Bloody wanker should be nowhere near civil service.”

“I’m sure they will look past your tardiness once they see your respect and adoration for Mr. Rogers.”

She turned her head to hide what she knew had to be a growing blush. The knot in her stomach that had been building all week, made itself known again. Peggy tapped her nails impatiently against the window.

“You’re oddly quiet,” he noted after another fifteen minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic. She only hummed in response. “Forgive me, but are you concerned about meeting the family, as they say?”

She shot him a murderous look and focused on her phone where she sent another reassuring text to Steve that was definitely not bailing, only stuck in traffic leaving Manhattan.

After another few minutes she sighed.

“Alright. I suppose I am the tad bit worried,” she admitted in a huff. “It’s been a long time, a lifetime really, since I’ve had to make a favorable impression upon a boyfriend’s family. I am decidedly out of practice.”

“You have nothing to worry about Ms. Carter. You make a lovely first impression. Even supposing it’s through a punch in the face.”

“I stand by the lesson I had to teach you. I do not advise forgoing announcing yourself first to a woman in a dark alley.”

“Naturally, Ms. Carter. You’re quite right,” he said cheerfully. “It’s perfectly normal to feel nerves before this sort of step in a relationship.”

“Could we please talk about something else?”

“Of course Ms. Carter.”

He tapped on the steering wheel while Peggy stared out the windows, willing the traffic to move. There was no use for it. She couldn’t do anything about it. She needed a distraction.

“I haven’t seen Ana in a few weeks. Did you two enjoy your anniversary celebration?”

Jarvis immediately lit up at the mention of his wife.

“We had a splendid time. Dinner and dancing until all hours of the night.”

She cracked a smile. “I watched Steve work on your painting.”

“Oh, your Mr. Rogers is an incredible artist. It was the most splendid gift. For both of us. Ana was happy with tears with his work. And most especially at his marvelous addition of her parents and family to the joyous history of our relationship.”

“He’s very good at that, at connecting his art with emotion. At making it resonate with the viewer,” she said, an image of Steve painting floating in her head. “I’m thrilled it went over well as I hoped it would.”

“Oh it’s spectacular addition to our drawing room. I fear Ana will be pestering him for more beautiful pictures.”

She laughed. “I can’t fault her for that.”

“He’s a wonderful man,” Jarvis said in a serious tone, meeting her eye with a smile.

She knew exactly the extent of Jarvis’ message, and oddly enough, the sentiment, more than approval, caused butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t need any approval of Steve other than the gut feeling she’s had for months about their relationship. Still, it was nice to know Jarvis, whose friendship and advice she’d come to rely upon, was happy for her.
“Suppose…” she started, biting her lip and looking away from Jarvis. She shook her head, trying to cast the nerves away. “Suppose they don’t take to me.”

Jarvis was quiet a moment. “Ms. Carter, I strongly believe that once they get to know you, there is far and away not a chance they will not be utterly charmed by your exceptional personage.”

There was another flutter in the pit of her stomach. Her friend smiled encouragingly at her.

“You suppose it will all be well then.”

“You care for Mr. Rogers very much. And I know he cares for you in the same manner. That alone will ensure that everything ends up just fine indeed.”

She smiled. After a moment she sent another quick message to Steve. It contained only a heart.

Traffic ebbed once they were well into the neighborhoods of Brooklyn, and although she would still be considered late, it was not nearly the disaster she had anticipated.

“Thank you again, Mr. Jarvis,” she said. “Perhaps the four of us could meet for dinner sometime soon.”

“Ana and I would be most delighted, Ms. Carter,” he replied with a wide smile.

With a final wave, making sure she had the bakery box with her, she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

She could hear commotion almost immediately. A woman opened the door with a kind smile, and familiar blue eyes.

“Ah, the famous Peggy at last,” she said cheerfully. “Come in dear,” she continued, ushering her inside.

“Good evening. You must be Mrs. Barnes. It’s lovely to finally meet you,” Peggy said. “I am so sorry for my lateness, you see I—”

Before she could finish her apology, three other women flocked the front hall, right behind Mrs. Barnes. She was fairly certain they were Bucky’s sisters, one very heavily pregnant at the forefront, swatting at the arms of the other two.

“She looks just like the picture,” one whispered not particularly quietly.

“Well no shit Grace, that’s what photos do,” another hissed.

“Honestly you two,” the pregnant sister huffed with a roll of her eyes. “Hello! We’re so glad you could make it. I’m Bucky’s sister Becca,” she said at the same time as her mother took Peggy by the shoulders and squeezed. “Ma! Let her all the way in first.”

“Jeeze,” the shorter of the other two said with her own eye roll. “Give her a minute before you bombard her—”

“I wasn’t bombarding, I was simply greeting—”

“Give Ma a break Elise!” Grace scolded.

“—you could still give her a freakin’ second.”

“Really it’s okay—” Peggy tried.

“Let me take that for you,” Becca said over them, taking the bakery box from Peggy.

“Peggy!” she heard Steve’s voice over the commotion, and she immediately relaxed. “You made it,” he said, squeezing his way to her with a smile, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek.

The foyer burst into a chorus of awws to Peggy’s horror. Steve continued to grin, and how could she deny him this. To think he’d never brought a girl to one of these dinners. He helped her out of her coat while Mrs. Barnes shooed her daughters back into the dining room.

“Never you mind them,” she said. “There’s just quite a bit of excitement in finally meeting the woman that has Steve here head over heels.”

Steve pinked slightly and Mrs. Barnes winked at her.

“I do apologize again for missing the last dinner.”

Mrs. Barnes waved her hand, and led them into the packed dining room. There had to be nearly twenty people around the three pushed together tables. Steve guided her to the seat he saved for her next to him as everyone openly watched the two of them shimmy into their seats. She hoped her face wasn’t all red. While she made herself comfortable in the seat, Peggy looked up to meet Bucky’s gaze, smirking at her from across the table. She wanted to wipe it off of him, but she didn’t dare so much as glare at him, not while she still needed to make up for her first impression of tardiness.

“I hope I haven’t missed much,” Peggy told the crowd. “Traffic was unbelievable.”

“You missed saying grace!” one of the kids, a boy, chirped out. “And soup! We always start with soup!”

“Relax Nate. Peggy has a really hard job and sometimes she has to stay late to make sure good people are getting help,” Bucky said, reaching over to ruffle the boy’s head. “Besides, what’s she supposed to do about traffic huh? Think she might have needed Spiderman’s help.”

Nate made loud noises and extended his arms out. “Spidey would swoosh you here with his webs in seconds!”

Peggy grinned at him. “Well then, I sure know who to call in an emergency.”

The boy grinned back. “Spidey can save the day!” He poked Bucky’s prosthetic. “And this is my robot sidekick! Robots don’t have to be made out of metal you know.”

Bucky snorted and drew the boy’s attention back to his plate. Peggy caught his mother looking over with a careful gaze and a smile.

While Mrs. Barnes rattled off introductions, Becca carried in a still hot bowl of soup for her. It’s hard to eat with the amount of eyes on her, and questions, but that part, reminded Peggy so much of work meetings that she wasn’t fazed.

“So how exactly did you meet our Steve?” Becca asked once she was back in her seat next to her husband Ben.

“Buck already told you this story,” Steve said with a slight groan.

“Sure, we got Bucky’s take on it. But I want to hear Peggy’s side,” Becca replied.

“Especially since you’ve never brought a girl home,” the shortest sister, Bucky’s youngest, Elise said. “Plus we’re nosy.”

“Well you know what they say about being nosy,” Steve said sarcastically.

“No, I don’t,” Elise said. “What exactly do they say about being nosy Steve?”

“That you should stop digging around for boogers Elise,” Bucky said with his mouth full of bread.

“Ew!” Elise cried out. “You’re such a typical gross guy.”

“Yeah and you’re sticking your fingers in someone else’s business Elsie.”

“Don’t call me Elsie!”

“Don’t disrespect your typical gross older brother then.”

“Come on guys! Steve’s girlfriend’s been here for all of five minutes and you two are already making us look bad,” Bucky’s middle sister Grace called out.

Peggy watched on in amusement as Becca rolled her eyes at the whole exchange and muttered something to her husband.

“Her full name’s Elizabeth, but Buck gave her the nickname Elsie since she was a kid,” Steve murmured in her ear. “She got bullied a lot, especially in high school when she came out. Buck picked her up once and this asshole kid that always gave her a hard time didn’t realize the tall, athletic guy was her brother and called her a terrible slur.”

“That’s horrible,” she murmured back.

Steve nodded. “The guy didn’t stand a chance. Didn’t know Buck and I had already joined up. He grabbed him by the arm, vowing if he ever heard that he’d called anyone especially Elise that again he’d be sorry, then marched him all the way back to the principal’s office. Anyway she decided to go by Elise somewhere around her senior year, but nothing like Buck to embarrass her with a childhood nickname.”

“So Peggy,” Mrs. Barnes said, ignoring her still squabbling adult children, “I believe Steve worked on your apartment?”

Peggy shot a smile at Steve who’d gone quiet.

“Yes. The owner of my building neglected to give me a heads up on the remodeling he wanted, but then there was this very polite, very sweet painter who made the whole experience much nicer.” She could feel Steve rubbing his hands together nervously so she took hold of one of his hands. “I liked watching him work, and then we started talking regularly. I asked him to have a cup of tea with me one day and well, we ending up connecting and well… I suppose it grew naturally from there.”

“And you made him paint you flowers,” Bucky added.

“Buck!” Steve groaned.

“No, he’s not wrong. And I’m not ashamed of wanting to keep you around in any way I could think of at the time.”

There was a general chorus of oohing and she didn’t have to turn to know that Steve was blushing hard. She squeezed his hand, quirking her brow at him in amusement. His face might have been bright red but she could see just how pleased her words made him. That made it all worth it.

“Well however it happened, we’re so grateful to know how much you’ve done for our boys,” Mrs. Barnes said.

“Yeah!” Becca said. “Bucky told us all about how much you’ve done for him. Between the new job and helping him get a better prosthetic, you can’t imagine how thankful we are.”

Peggy blinked, confused at her words. “I—”

“And caring about Steve too of course,” Grace added.

“Yes, we owe you a lot of gratitude for giving them all those opportunities,” Mrs. Barnes said sagely. “We’re so glad you came into Steve’s life.”

The praise made her uncomfortable, especially when Howard had been the catalyst for the changes in Bucky’s life. But when she met Bucky’s eye across the table, he nodded subtly at her. She immediately understood that she was supposed to go along with the way he had presented the story to his family. But there was something else in his look. Something in the way he didn’t rib his sisters for gushing. She felt Steve squeeze her hand under the table.

“I’m glad to know them too,” Peggy said.

Dinner progressed, with Mrs. Barnes having to call attention to the group, including Bucky’s father, who’d been staring at the game that was playing on the muted TV in the far corner of the room.

After a while, it started to feel like family, listening to the back and forth bickering, the overflowing conversation. She felt part of it. She witnessed the rowdy nieces and nephews from Steve’s drawings, and the characters of the family, like Bucky’s Uncle Jimmy, with his impressive beard. She hadn’t felt anything like it in ages. And all the worry of making a good impression fell away, especially as she saw the ease in Steve, that of worn-in comfort. These were people he’d spent so much time with, the family he’d kept even after the passing of both his parents. It’s definitely the most delightful dinner she’d been to in ages, a complete opposite of the abundance of smarmy work dinners to attend in the last few weeks.

“So did you grow up in London?” Elise asked at one point.

“Yes. My family’s from Hampstead. We’re not particularly posh, mind you I had a comfortable upbringing, but the house I grew up in has been in my father’s family for more than a hundred years.”

“That is awesome!” Elise said. “Jessi and I so totally want to go to London.”

“It must be difficult for your family to have you so far away,” Bucky’s mom said. “Have you visited home recently?”

“Unfortunately work has kept me rather occupied. I suppose it’s been nearly two years since I’ve been back to England.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters Peggy?” Becca asked.

She thought of Michael, of her best friend growing up, of their adventures running around the heath in pursuit of dragons. She remembered him as a young man, of announcing he was joining the army on his twenty-first birthday, weeks from graduating from University.

“My brother died in the line of duty a few years back,” she told them, feeling Steve’s arm reach around her.

There’s a general murmur of sympathy, Bucky giving a sympathetic look, but it was Mrs. Barnes that nodded gravely, looking straight into her eyes.

“I’m very sorry for your loss, my dear.”

But it felt good to share, even about her losses. With Steve at her side, even Bucky smirking at them all throughout dinner, she felt the warm sense of family.

Elise and Jessi both continued to grill her about things to see in London, and discussing various plays they wanted to see, many of which frankly Peggy hadn’t the foggiest about.

Bucky helped refill drinks around the table, easily uncapping beer bottles, topping off wine glasses, sliding juice boxes to the kids, while his mother announced she’d put on a pot of coffee.

“I’ll do it mom,” Becca said. “It’s time for dessert anyway.”

Despite plenty of offers of help, and urges for her to sit, Becca refused and headed into the kitchen. After a few minutes without reappearing, a crash sounded from the kitchen.

“Becca?” her husband called in concern, already getting up from the table.

“I’m fine!” she yelled back. “I just dropped a plate.”

“I’ll go clean it up,” Grace said, rushing into the kitchen.

After a few minutes, with Becca muttering in a disgruntled tone, came back with dessert, Grace trailing behind her.

The kids made a beeline for the cupcakes she brought, while Mrs. Barnes cut the cake. Peggy ate her slice so fast, that Mrs. Barnes gave her the first second-helping. She was about to compliment Becca on her baking skills when she noticed that Becca’s expression was taut and she was looking resolutely into her lap.

Not a minute later, Becca let out a loud yelp. It silenced the entire room before it broke out in a chorus of concern.

“It’s just a cramp. It’s passed,” she said flippantly. “Let me go make some more coffee.” She hadn’t made it two steps away from her seat before she cried out again.

“Becca?” her husband called.

“No! No, no, no! I think… my water just broke.”

Chaos ensued. Her husband, looking very pale, sat frozen in his seat.

“Becca, dear, you need to breathe,” Mrs. Barnes was saying to no avail.

“No! This is too soon. I’m not dude for another seven weeks!”

“Becca, you know babies come when they’re ready.”

“No! It’s not ready. I’m not ready. Seven weeks early!”

“You know the statistics on lots of early babies—” Elise started only for Becca to start sobbing.

“Shut up!”

“I’m just saying! Don’t panic!” Elise cried out exasperated, crossing her arms.

“Babe—” her girlfriend tried to say.

“Don’t tell me not to panic!” Becca yelled.

“Rebecca, you need to breathe.”

The chaos continued, as some of the kids started crying in all the uproar, Mrs. Barnes still trying to calm her daughter.

“We don’t even have our hospital bag! We’re not ready! This isn’t supposed to happen.”

“Oh my god! She needs to go already!” Elise said.

“Jesus give her a minute!” Bucky shouted.

“Shut up, what do you know about having a baby? Just because you’re a privileged male—”

Peggy had enough, and she shoved her chair back as she stood. “Alright enough!” she shouted causing the room to go silent except for Becca’s sobs and stifled sounds of pain. “Becca’s in labor. Now who has a car?”

Dutifully Becca’s still shell-shocked husband and a few others shot their hands up.

“Ben’s too emotional to drive. Who’s good under pressure?” No one really responded, all still looking nervously between Peggy’s commanding voice and Becca sobbing in pain. It was then that she noticed the wine and whiskey glasses still in many of their hands.

“Peg—” Steve started already standing up.

“Not you Steve. I need you and Bucky to go get Becca’s hospital bag and then come meet us at the hospital.”

Bucky stood immediately, Grace handing him the keys to her car.

“You got it Carter,” Bucky said, immediately having to ward off a jumping Nate who wanted to come for a ride.

“Sod it. I’ll drive,” Peggy said holding her hand out for Ben to hand over his keys, his hands shaking uncontrollably. “Mrs. Barnes, if you could help me lead Becca.”

“What about the rest of us?” Elise asked.

“Make yourselves useful. Dinner needs to be cleaned. We’ll call when Becca’s settled in. Come along Ben.”

They all seemed to snap into focus as she and Mrs. Barnes carefully led Becca out to the car, her husband trailing behind them in a nervous flurry. She sent him to sit in the back with Becca, urging him to try to get her to relax while Mrs. Barnes hurried around into the passenger seat. It took all three of them continually coaching Becca to get her to breathe through the panic and contractions.

Once Becca was safely wheeled inside, and Peggy had parked the car she made her way towards the waiting room.

“Peggy!” she heard some minutes later, relieved to see Steve and Bucky walking her way. Bucky carried a large bag over his shoulder.

“How’s Becca?” Bucky asked.

“Pretty excited about the epidural I’m sure. Her contractions are still about four or five minutes apart,” Peggy replied.

“Did they say anything about the baby? Seven weeks early…” Bucky looked concerned, as did Steve.

“I’m not sure,” she said, then waved her hand down the corridor. “They’re in the third room on the right. I’m sure your mom will know more.”

Bucky nodded and took off with the bag. Once he was gone, Steve leaned in for a hug.

“Thanks for this. I know this isn’t how you expected to spend a family dinner,” he said.

“What? Ushering in new members of the Barnes family?” They laughed. “It’s fine. It’s not like poor Becca had any choice about the matter.”

Steve nodded, his brows heavy to match his face. She had a feeling everyone was going to be on tenterhooks until this baby showed up.

“Come, sit with me,” she said, ushering Steve into a seat and pushing Mrs. Barnes’ phone into his hand. He needed a distraction. “I’m supposed to be giving updates or something. You can help, I’m sure you know these family members better than I do.” He grinned at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then another to her cheek, before taking over the texting.

Bucky returned with a heavy expression of his own, dropping into a seat across from Steve and reliving him of texting duty.

“Any news?” Peggy asked.

“Not much yet. The ultrasound only shows so much. Basically gotta wait and see once the baby’s born. Lung development seems to be the biggest concern right now.”

Steve inhaled sharply, and she automatically reached for his hand giving him a squeeze.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “I hate hospitals.”

“Do you wanna get out of here Buck?” Steve asked.

“No. No I should be here,” he replied firmly but then sighed. “Becca’s gotta calm down though. Her blood pressure’s through the roof. Plenty of preemies come out fine. Right?”

Peggy nodded. “Sure they do. And with modern medicine, even very premature babies can be saved.” She noticed him flinch slightly. “But I’m sure once she relaxes, everything will be fine. That baby’s got plenty of family looking out for it. That’s not nothing.”

He cracked a smile. “Thanks for taking charge back there Carter. Nothing like panic to scramble my entire family into dopes.”

She shook her head. “Nothing for it. In fact, an early baby might take the heat off me being late in your mother’s eyes.”

The boys snorted and she felt Steve curl his arm around her shoulders.

“Yup. You’re going to be eternally in the Barnes’ family good graces from this point. Saved the whacked out son from living off disability for the rest of his life, and got Becca to the hospital in time. Yup, you’re gold Carter.”

“Barnes, you know Howard had more to do with the matter initially than I did.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Wouldn’t have happened without you.”

“It’s true,” Steve agreed.

She wanted to disagree but Bucky shot her disapproving look.

“Anyway, it sure helps that Ma likes how happy you make Steve. Such an adorable couple,” he mimicked. “She’s an old softy like that.”

Peggy rolled her eyes.

Hours went by, and while Becca was in active labor, it seems to be progressing at a snail’s pace, sure to drive the already anxious mother-to-be into further agitation. The waiting room grew more and more crammed full of the Barnes’ family. Some stayed in vigil in short bursts, others had been there dutifully awaiting news for hours. Peggy herself has taken both Steve and Bucky on a walk to the vending machines, and outside for fresh air several times.

Midnight came and went, and still the waiting room was full of family. Elise had been sitting in between her brother and her girlfriend, her head resting on Bucky’s shoulder, while Jessi held her hand, reading to them from the stack of waiting room magazines she rounded up. Peggy listened to her steady voice read articles, holding Steve close, his eyes closed as he rested his head on her shoulder. The later the hour became, the more the waiting room became subdued.

Then breaking the silence for the first time in hours, loud footsteps approached. Ben ran into the room, breathless, tears running down his face paired with a bright smile. Bucky stood, ramrod straight.

“She’s a healthy girl! Her name’s Winnie.”

The atmosphere changed in a split second. The room erupted into cheers and happy gasps.

“They named her after mom,” Grace said through tears, reaching out to pull Elise into a hug.

Steve had buried his face against Peggy’s neck, and she held him in a tight hug, listening as his breathing relaxed, the tension in his back lessening with every second.

Ben headed back to his wife and newborn daughter as Mrs. Barnes came into the room. Bucky headed over to her, hugging her tight, whispering into her ear.

Steve met her eyes, and Peggy wiped a stray tear off his cheek with her thumb, leaning in to press a brief kiss to his lips. The two of them stay wrapped up in each other’s arms as family members heading in pairs to check in on Becca and meet baby Winnie.

“Thank you for staying,” Steve murmured into her ear.

“Of course,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Work’s under control at the moment. And I promised you I’d be at this dinner. Which became a birthday party of sorts.”

He laughed. “I’m so glad both she and Becca are okay.”

“Me too, Steve.”

After a while, after listening to the excited chatter and descriptions of the baby from family members on their way home to rest, Bucky told them Becca was asking for them.

Becca grinned tiredly at both of them. Bucky had the swaddled pink baby, with a matching pastel pink hat, cradled in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re still here Steve. You too Peggy.”

Steve walked over to take Becca’s hand. “I’m so happy for you Becca. How are you feeling?”

“Much better now that she’s here.”

“She’s beautiful,” Peggy said softly, still watching the intent focus on Bucky’s face as he held his newborn niece. He never looked away from her face. There was something extremely peaceful in his expression, a gently joy, as he carefully swayed the snoozing girl.

“Oh Peggy,” Becca cried out. “What would I have done without you?”

“I’m very sure I offered absolutely no help in delivering her,” she said dryly.

Becca chuckled and reached for her daughter. “Bucky!” she had to call out to get his attention. "Hand over my baby, Uncle Greedy,” she said with a smile.

Bucky was reluctant to hand her over. Once Winnie was in the care of her mother, Becca waved Peggy closer. She had expected to view the baby from afar, only to have Becca thrust the baby into her arms. Her eyes widened and she looked over at Steve for help only for him to grin and do nothing.

“I—” she tried to protest.

“Hey Winnie,” Becca murmured. “This is Peggy. She’s your Uncle Steve’s girlfriend. So she’s kind of like your Auntie. Especially since she made sure your mama got to the hospital in time to bring you into this world nice and safe.”

Peggy silently pleaded with Steve, getting more nervous by the second as the baby started to squirm. She felt him come up right behind her, hoping he’d take her, only for him to rearrange her arms, his hands sure and strong, murmuring gently about needing to support the head.

“She’s gorgeous Bec,” Steve whispered, his hand reaching around to trail a finger against her chubby cheek. The girl sniffed, turning into his touch.

“Doctors want us to stay a couple days just to make sure everything’s okay,” she heard Becca say as she focused back on the tiny human being in her arms, Steve’s palm larger than her head. “But your Uncles are going to always be there to protect you.”

Peggy heard Steve sniff behind her. Having her fill of awkwardly trying to hold a baby, she pressed the girl into Steve’s ready arms, watching him as he cuddled her up toward his chest. The visual was so striking, she had to step back, turning purposefully to focus on Becca, asking her questions, trying desperately not to tempt herself into watching Steve.

Despite all of them being tired, there’s a good mood in the air when they left Becca and Ben to their daughter.

“You’re exhausted. I’m going to get us a car back to Manhattan,” Peggy said to Steve who’d been rubbing at his eyes. “Want to share a ride Bucky?”

“Thanks, but I’m going to stay and crash at my parents’ for the rest of the weekend,” he said. “But thanks for being here. Both of you. And Carter, welcome to the Barnes’ family,” he added with a lopsided grin. “I’ve already got three sisters, what’s one more.”

“Remember that special list of mine?” she said narrowing her eyes.

He winked at her. “Whatever you say, sis.”

She shook her head at him. “I’ll see you on Monday, Barnes.”

Steve pulled his friend into a hug. “Looks like you’re finally Uncle Buck,” Steve said with a grin making Bucky snort. “Congrats Buck. You’re gonna be a great Uncle.”

After saying last goodbyes, Peggy being pulled in for as many hugs as Steve was, he reached for her hand and they started out of the waiting room. She watched as Steve took one more glance over at Bucky who was laughing and hugging his sisters.

“I’ve never seen him like this,” she admitted to Steve.

He nodded with a smile. “I think tonight, holding his niece for the first time, I think Buck’s finally found his way home.”

There’s a sureness, conviction, in his words that make his statement stick in her head.

Steve dozed off on the drive back while Peggy took the opportunity to check back in with Sousa. Steve was barely able to keep his eyes open by the time they made it to her place, but he still felt compelled to shower first. She settled in bed waiting for him.

Steve finally dropped onto her bed with a sigh. “What a day. Or night. Or day. I mean it is morning.” He chuckled at himself and curled up against her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “A brand new Barnes baby. Or well, she’ll be a Proctor. You know what I mean. Man what a long day.”

She smiled at his woozy words, kissing him gently.

“Can I ask you something?”

He propped himself up on his elbow. “Of course.”

“You said you thought Bucky had finally come home. What did you mean by that?”

He hummed, brushing his hand over her cheek before settling back against the pillow.

“That he’d finally come home from the war,” Steve told her. “I mean emotionally. Mentally. It was months for me before I realized that coming home to New York actually started to feel like it. Like there was a chance for a new start. That there was a real life for me to live. I wasn’t sure if Bucky had that yet. And I’m sure tonight, he realized there was still more for him.”

She watched him carefully, her hands running up his neck. She hadn’t considered it before. Hadn’t supposed that the war hadn’t immediately felt over for them once they were back home. That subconsciously they both supposed they’d be back to it sooner than later. Or that every single day still felt like they were in the midst of war.

“You were part of that moment for me,” Steve whispered.

She paused her tousling of his hair.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “I had a dream about you. Right after I started painting your wall of poppies. I was waiting for you in the middle of a dance floor. I was in my dress uniform and I didn’t feel stupid standing there all by myself at all. Then you were there, dressed in uniform too. You told me the war was over. I couldn’t stop picturing it. You and me. Your words. I knew it was a dream but I believed you. It was a reminder that there was a life that I wanted to have. How meeting you was so significant. And that alone shook me out of the hole I had closed myself into since my coma.”

She pressed a kiss to his brow.

“You mean so much to me Peggy. You were a reminder that I could finally be home. That maybe, someday, somehow, you’d be my home.”

Her heart ricocheted in her chest.

“You’re more than just my support system Peg. More than just a girlfriend.”

She rolled them, pressing him onto his back, hovering over him.

“I love you too Steve.”

He smiled up at her so perfectly happy it made her insides melt. He pressed her against him, kissing her full of passion.

After a few moments, she rolled back onto her side, Steve shifting his head to rest on her chest. She returned to playing with his hair, watching as exhaustion won out on his face, and Steve drifted off in a hurry.

“Love you,” he murmured in a pleased sleepy slur.

It was entirely too late, and yet she didn’t succumb to sleep. She wondered at what point New York had started feeling like a real home to her. When exactly that moment had happened.

Peggy continued to gently run her fingers through Steve’s hair, deep in thought as the sounds of Steve’s steady breaths filled the room. She knew he was fast asleep, nose brushing her clavicle, arm slack around her. It made her smile, feeling content as she took in her surroundings. The bedroom she’d had for more than a year now. The crisp blue and white against the deep wood accents. Casa Blanca. And the peacefulness of a seashore. She could hardly remember what it looked like, what I felt like before. Before Steve. Her gaze drifted over to her vanity, where alongside the framed photo of Steve at boot camp, rested a family photo from her childhood. The single painted poppy hanging on the wall, the one Steve had made for her in remembrance of Michael, seemed to twinkle at her in the moonlight.

She smiled at it and looked down at the man sleeping in her hold. What a difference a few months could make. What loving Steve could change.

Yes, she definitely felt at home.