New Beginnings
Sitting under the lights of the basketball court, you nursed a bottle of beer that you had been sharing with three other people. Sam sat on the orange ball, sweat dripping down his forehead. Steve’s cheeks were red from running, his blond hair sticking to his forehead. And while Bucky was wearing his basketball shorts, he had spent the entire evening with you.
“I gave Rogers a proper thrashing,” Sam announced proudly.
Steve rolled his eyes. “You wish.”
Normally you would have been laughing and cheering, but not tonight. It was your last night with your three best friends and you were feeling pretty nostalgic.
“You okay?” Sam asked, brows furrowed.
There was something about your eyes, something sad and vulnerable. You tried to hide it, but he knew you too well. From the moment you met him, he had stood out among others. He had a kind smile, it lit up his whole face, and the small gap between his front teeth made it so special.
“I’m fine,” you said, taking a sip of the warm beer. “I’m just a little sad. I won’t see your stupid faces every day. It’s weird, y’know?”
The boys nodded slowly, agreeing with you. In just a few days, you’d all be leaving for university. Steve tried to distract himself from thinking about it, his fingers toying nervously with the hem of his too-large shorts. At first glance, he looked like an angel with his baby blue eyes and dirty blond hair. He wasn’t especially strong or gifted, but he was brave, some might even say reckless.
“It’s not like we’re going to disappear,” Sam replied, cracking a smile.
Beautiful silver stars started to appear in the darkening sky. It was the end of an era and you all stayed quiet, mourning it. Bucky took the bottle of beer and took a generous sip before he handed it to Steve.
“We met right here,” he finally spoke, looking around the basketball court.
“Steve was challenging people twice his size,” Sam said casually, earning a dirty look from the blond.
“If I remember well, you were popping wheelies to impress girls.”
“It totally worked, by the way.”
“Uh-huh,” Steve replied with a crooked smile.
“And Y/n was reading,” Bucky said, meeting your eyes. “I think it was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret. Your father was coaching our middle school’s basketball team and you were wearing a light blue sundress even though it was almost October. You gave Steve a juice box after an eighth-grader pushed him to the ground. And then you shared your snacks with us because we defended him.”
There was a beat of silence after Bucky’s monologue; you held his gaze, the two other boys holding their breath. You had developed a massive crush on him over the summer before entering high school.
Sometimes, you caught him looking at you in a certain way and you allowed yourself to think that he might have feelings for you. But then he would show up with another cute girl and present her to the group and she would immediately cling to you because you were the only girl in the group.
“Okay,” Sam drawled out the word. “Let’s talk about something else before Bucky remembers what kind of shoes you were wearing.”
You let out a soft chuckle, but your heart was beating faster and faster, your mind spinning. Bucky’s nostrils flared as his face flushed.
“What time are you leaving tomorrow?” Steve asked Sam.
“After lunch, I think,” Sam replied, then turned to you. “You’re next, right?”
“I already packed the car,” you said, nodding your head. “My parents want to come with me, but there’s no room left in the car, so I’m gonna take the train and wait for them.”
“I could give you a ride,” Bucky offered. “It’s on my way.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.” You finished the beer and kept the bottle in your hands. “And you, Steve? Are you really going to stay here all summer?”
A sigh left his lips and he ran a hand down his face. “Yeah, my mom’s not feeling well.”
When Steve was 5 years old, his father left. He just wasn’t cut out to be a father. Sarah Rogers had worked two jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. She was his hero and he couldn’t even consider leaving his mother to die alone.
None of you knew how sick Sarah was, Steve kept things to himself, but his mother would be gone before Christmas.
“You’re going to get bored without us,” Bucky grinned.
Steve rolled his eyes, a small smile on his lips. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I think I’ll hit the gym.”
When Bucky and Sam burst out laughing, Steve shoved at Sam’s shoulder, throwing him off balance. The orange ball rolled under the bench as Sam’s bottom hit the ground. They were still laughing heartily.
“Jerks,” Steve muttered.
“Punk,” they both said in unison.
Slowly, you got to your feet and dusted your hands on yours jeans. All eyes were suddenly on you. You made grabby hands at Sam who pushed himself off the ground. He caught you in a tight hug and you felt tears pricking your eyes.
“I’ll walk you home,” he whispered.
And the next day, he was gone.
You watched him drive away until he was completely out of sight. Bucky sighed next to you while Steve had his arms crossed, a frown between his brows. You wondered when you’d see Sam again. Christmas break, perhaps? You didn’t know it yet, but he would be too busy to come back in December.
You didn’t sleep at all that night. You stood at your bedroom window and tried to memorize every house, every tree, and every street sign. It was your street, your home. You remembered the time you had ridden your bike down on the way to see Steve or when you played hide-and-seek in Sam’s backyard.
Bucky’s house was hidden behind a sycamore tree, but you could see his car in the driveway. There were boxes in the backseat and probably more in the trunk.
Morning came and your eyes were still glued to the window. Everything looked the same and yet nothing would be the same anymore. Your room felt strangely empty without Steve’s paintings –given every year on your birthday- and the rest of your things.
Your parents promised to leave shortly after you and Bucky so you wouldn’t have to wait forever. They made sure Bucky was well enough to drive before you both climbed into the car. Saying goodbye to Steve was painful; tears were shed, hugs were given, and promises were made.
Empty promises.
“It doesn’t have to be like this,” Bucky said after a long silent moment. It had been a quiet ride so far, which was unusual, but neither of you were in the mood to talk. “I’ll call you. And we’ll see each other in December. It’s not the end, Y/n.”
Again. Empty promises.
“I know,” you said, giving him a sad smile.
Three hours later, you arrived at your university and Bucky parked near the clock tower. Some people were unpacking their cars, others were lying on the grass, taking in the sun. You felt so small in that huge place. It was intimidating.
“Ready?”
Bucky’s voice startled you out of your thoughts. As he rounded the front of the car, you opened your door and stepped onto the pavement. He stood beside you, his arm around your waist.
“I can wait with you.”
You hugged him back. “No, don’t worry. My parents will be here soon and you’re already late. Thank you for the ride.”
“Don’t thank me,” he said, locking his arms around you as he instinctively sought to keep you close. “It was selfish, I just wanted to spend more time with you.”
You nuzzled your face into his chest and took a deep breath, trying to commit his scent to memory. You stayed in that position for what felt like a very long time before you pulled back. Bucky’s eyes were so wet and blue, you had to look away.
“Take care of yourself.”
And then he was gone.
When he turned at the intersection, you felt your heart break into tiny pieces. His absence made everything around you feel so dull.
But what you didn’t know was that Bucky had to pull over because tears built up in his eyes and made his vision blurry. He leant his forehead against the steering wheel and cried. He wished he had talked to you, he wished he had kissed you.
“You look cute together.”
You turned around, facing a slim woman with black cloud-like hair. She wasn’t wearing much makeup, her skin was already perfect and smooth, but her full lips were painted deep red, drawing your eyes to them as she spoke.
“Is he your boyfriend?” She was carrying a huge cardboard box in her arms.
“Just a friend.”
She took a step towards you and balanced the box on her hip to free one of her hands. “I’m Nakia.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n.”
“Mind giving me a hand? I have so many boxes,” she laughed. “I’ll help you with your stuff after if you need help.”
“Sure.”
You took the box from her hands while she took another one from her car. She wasn’t kidding, there were at least half a dozen boxes in her car. You followed your new friend into the building, smiling for the first time that day.