
Hate Hurts the Hater
“What are you doing here?” Bucky turned around quickly when you entered the jet.
“Good morning to you too.” You replied with a roll of your eyes. You sat on the seat next to him and started to skim over your file.
“I told you to stay at the compound.” He bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers.
“Yeah, and I told you I don’t need your permission.”
He groaned inwardly and your jaw clenched. You threw the file on the seat next to yours and turned your head to look at him. His eyes were still cast down, avoiding you at all cost.
“What is your problem?” You asked curtly. When he opened his mouth you knew it was to grumble a ‘I don’t have a problem’ so you cut him off before he could speak. “What? You don’t think I can do it?”
“It’s not like that.” He took a deep breath. “I have a bad feeling.”
“You always have a bad feeling.” You threw your arms up in the air in exasperation and took a good look at him.
As usual his face remained blank, allowing no emotion no seep through. Normally, you were pretty good at reading people, but Bucky Barnes was a mystery. You had no idea what was going through that thick skull of his and it was driving you crazy.
Yes, Bucky annoyed you. You hated the way he remained calm during your arguments, it made you shout even louder. You hated that he made you throw punches until you were on the verge of passing out. You hated that he kept stealing your toothpaste, that he cheated at poker, that his eyes were so blue, that his shirt smelled so good, that his perfume lingered in the air, even after he left.
Yeah, no, you totally hated him.
It was your heart that raced every time he was near, but you were completely fine. It was your mind that wondered what his lips would taste like, but you were completely fine. It was you knees that buckled each time he smiled, but you were completely fine.
Bucky took a deep breath, he had to find a way out of the mess he was in. His stomach fluttered at the smell of your shampoo. He looked at you, reading your file, looking all grumpy and mad. He desperately wanted to bury his face in your hair and kiss your neck until he was drunk from it. He wanted to hear you laugh more than anything.
“You washed your hair?” Bucky tried to change the subject, but his voice came out sharp with bitterness and he cringed.
“Do you really have to say it like that?” You replied without looking up from the file.
“Like what?” The words came out before he could think them through.
“Like it’s such a feat.”
“You’re exaggerating.” God why can’t I just shut my goddamn mouth, he thought immediately.
“And you’re a tool.” You stood up and sat at the other end of the jet.
Pinpoint accurate, Bucky wanted to say. I am the dumbest person on the planet, but I’d rather be a jerk than see you get hurt. But he just stayed silent. He always did.
He tried everything to make you stay at the compound. He knew it wasn’t fair, it was your job, but he didn’t care.
The mission was supposed to be simple. You had to keep an eye on the target while Bucky sneaked into his house to get vital documents. Easy peasy.
Well, in theory…
You put a hand to your ear and connected the earpiece. “The target is coming back. Get out.”
“I need more time.”
“You have less than a minute.” You walked faster, disappearing in the crowd. You looked over your shoulder and saw the man opening the front door. “Now, Buck.”
“Not yet.”
“He’s home. Get out! Now!” You hissed, trying to be quiet.
You kept an eye on the back door, hoping Bucky would come out and you would be able to get away from here. The door didn’t move. Wearily, you entered the house and searched for him. He didn’t reply when you tried to contact him through the com and it only made you more nervous.
You pushed a door open with your foot, gun raised high and saw Bucky. He was held at gunpoint, with both hands raised. His eyes moved to look at you before the door slammed shut. You turned around quickly and got punched in the face by the person responsible for all this.
It didn’t deter you. You threw yourself at the man and fought him with everything in you. Bucky couldn’t risk hurting you so he stood back and hoped you would win. When the sound of a gunshot filled the room, Bucky saw everything happening in slow motion.
You lurched sideways, tumbling into Bucky’s arms. He sank to the ground with you, covering your stomach with his large hands as he kept you close to his chest. You were still holding the gun. Bucky’s jaw clenched so hard it could have cut stone. He took the gun from your hand and killed the man who was trying to run away.
“I was holding the gun and he pulled the trigger.” You scoffed, your voice faltered. “Fuck, I suck.” Your arched your back against his chest, a sharp flash of pain made you whimper. “You can tell me I told you so.”
Bucky shushed you. He pressed both hands over your stomach to staunch the flow of blood and rocked you slowly. “No, you’re the best. Keep your eyes open. Help is on its way.”
“I want to sleep.”
“Fight it. Stay with me.” He tightened the hold around your shoulders as more bright red blood covered his hands.
“Tell me a story.”
He swallowed thickly, your voice was so weak. “There was a man, incredibly handsome, you wouldn’t believe how handsome he was.” He smiled through his tears when you let out a small laugh. It made your blood come faster and he mentally kicked himself.
“Is he a prince?”
“No, he’s a soldier.” He ran a hand through your hair, staining your forehead and hair with your blood. “This man, you see, he met this stunning girl and she kept stealing his t-shirts. He hated that, but he didn’t know why. And one day she stole a shirt that wasn’t his and he was furious ‘cause it wasn’t his shirt.” His voice was gentle, like he was telling you a bedtime story.
“He believed that only his shirts should keep her soft skin warm at night. So he was confused, do I hate her or do I love her? he thought. The frontier between the two is usually very thin. And that soldier, well, he didn’t have boundaries anymore. He was broken.”
“And?” The pain was gone, you felt numb. The urge to sleep grew stronger than your will to stay with him.
“And he thought he didn’t deserve her, so he avoided her. He was a jerk and he hoped she hated him because-” He stopped when he heard sirens coming closer.
“’M cold.” Your voice was so weak it was barely audible. Your head fell back against his shoulder.
“Keep your eyes open.”
“Want to hear… end b’fore-”
Talking required too much effort and everything went black. The help Bucky promised barged into the room and took you away. The whole team joined Bucky at the hospital. His hands were stained with dark, sticky blood.
Steve found him near the Emergency room. Bucky had his forearms planted on his knees and his face buried in his hands.
“What happened?”
“It was my fault. She said get out and I just wanted to finish the job.” Bucky sniffed noisily, running the back of his hand under his nose. The tears in his eyes made his blue eyes even more pale than usual. “She was in my arms a-and I didn’t tell her-”
“It’s okay, you’ll tell her when she wakes up.” Steve tried to calm him down. “You don’t want to be covered in blood when you’ll tell her, uh? Let’s go,” He tried to make him follow, but Bucky kept glancing at the door. “It’s okay, they’ll take care of her.”
When you woke up it took you a moment to collect yourself. You were still exhausted and fell back to sleep right away. It was the middle of the night when you finally managed to speak. Bucky was sitting on a chair next to your bed.
His eyes opened wide when he saw you looking at him. He leaned closer and placed his metal hand on your forehead.
“I’m dying to know how it ends.”
He said your name in a scolding tone that made you chuckled before your features turned into a painful grimace. “See, this is what happens when you make stupid jokes.” He said with a smirk. “How do you think it ends?”
“I think he loves her.”
“I think he loves her too.” He nodded, a playful smirk lingering on his lips.
“And I think he should kiss her.” You said, licking your lips.
“Yes, he should.” He grinned before he pressed his lips against yours, sighing with relief against your mouth.
He kissed you slowly, passionately, with everything he had. He put all the emotions he kept buried deep inside into the kiss, and when he pulled away you were breathless. With a dreamy smile on his face, he sat back in his chair, stroking your knuckles with his thumb.
He stayed silent for a while before his face turned serious and he said, “I’m the handsome soldier.”
He said it like some superhero revealing his secret identity and you chuckled.
“Yeah, I got it.”