Gamer

You saved him... But maybe... he saved you.

"That thing on your chest. What is it?" I asked, breaking a long silence.

Few hours had passed since I woke up and it was already an evening. I found a few candles in the apartment to brighten the coming darkness. Stark was still lying on the couch, this time covered with a blanket and not me. I took some food out of the bag – most of this were instant soups, and I had no idea where to get hot water... but I also managed to find a pack of crackers. I threw it in Stark. I should also change his bandages - as usual - but somehow... I felt embarrassed. So I put a fresh bandages, hydrogen peroxide, tablets and cotton swabs on the table.

"It's Arc Reactor," he said with a hoarse voice. "It keeps me alive."

I raised my eyebrows, looking at him questioningly. I didn't understand. Stark was sick? He noticed my glance, opened a packet of crackers and continued.

"The missiles fell on my house, one exploded right under my nose. It damaged me a bit... I have shrapnel near my heart, reactor keeps it in place so it won't kill me. If not for this reactor... I'd probably die within few minutes," he lowered his voice, sitting up. He shared a secret with me that could endanger his life. I didn't know how to react. I sat next to him thinking about what he said. Could I really blame him for everything that happened? After all, he almost died... killed by his own weapon. If this thing would ever get damaged... I suddenly felt as he put his head on my shoulder and hugs me. I couldn't push him away. "Cold..."

"Aren't you scared of me?" I asked out of nowhere, focusing my gaze on the wall before me.

"Why should I be scared?"

"Do you remember what happened in that garage? In Stark's Tower?"

"...I remember," he replied after a moment of silence and sighed. "You wanted to strangle me and almost succeeded. However, it was you who took me out of there. Looking at all this medical equipment, you took care of me. I doubt you did all of this just to kill me once I wake up. I'm weak, I can't defend myself. You could kill me here and now."

"Maybe I count on a fair duel."

"Heh, this is also not an option. Overall, I'm weak and can't do anything without my toys. Right now I don't have a single one, I'm an easy target. But you know it already."

But I know it already... It was true. Since the day I took him from the Tower, I didn't intend to harm him. I carefully treated his wounds and cared for him. I didn't have to do this, I could just leave him and go back home... but I wanted to stay. I wanted to look after him. I told myself I did this only because I had questions to answer. Partly it was the reason. But something was missing in my life, and he happened to be at hand... Did I miss Steve this much? Maybe. I'm terribly selfish, huh? I have to get rid of him, I'm starting to lose my fucking mind. I don't know what's happening to me. He is my enemy. I sighed, pushed him away and covered tightly with a blanket. Then I laid down next to him. He cuddled up against me, muttering under his breath and put his hands around my waist. I felt a bit... awkwardly, my throat went dry.

"We'll have to get out of here as quickly as possible. Like tomorrow," I whispered, stroking his hair.

"I know a safe place where we can go. Where we HAVE TO go. You can leave me there and continue to walk your own path. I know babysitting me is last thing you want to do."

"I have a few questions..."

"I know, you will get your answers soon enough. Don't worry."

We set off to that safe place the next morning. At first, Tony didn't want to talk, so we just packed our things and marched. All around was full of destroyed buildings, making it difficult journey, a few times we had to turn back or go around the whole place. And sometimes we had to climb over the rubble to reach the other side. We didn't take longer breaks than five minutes. Overall it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"Where are we going?" I asked jumping from a block of stone.

"Safe place," Stark said, with a cheerful voice.

"And more specifically?"

"To the Auntie May," he said, turning to me and gave me a warm smile. "We'll have a hot meal and a rest as soon as we get there, then you can go and do whatever you want. Trust me."

"Trust you?" I snorted, putting my hands on hips.

"From the two of us it's you who cannot be trusted, James."

"How do you know my name? I don't remember telling you this," I frowned, looking at him. I won't lie, it troubled me.

"I know a lot about you. For example, your full name is James Buchanan Barnes and you're a Headhunter, one of the best. Or worst, depends from which side you look at it.Before the disaster, you served in the army, in unit which was supplied with my rocket launchers. Colonel, right? Or non-commissioned officer, I don't remember. I can be wrong."

"Master Sergeant," I corrected, carefully watching him.

"Yeah. Right. You have a friend, Steven Rogers, you know each other since childhood, and so on. You served together in army. Currently you live with him. Your metal arm is a gift from the Headhunters, right? That's why you're working for them. Well, I came up with this. I wasn't sure, but I bet your arm has something to do with them. You like plums and hot chocolate. Spicy-sweetish dishes and flavored vodka. Once you liked to read science fiction books and watch horror movies... So..." he came up to me and put his hand on my chest. "...Your name is not a mystery to me."

"How..." I started, but he shook his head. I fell silent, waiting for some kind of explanation.

"All the information can be found in XERRA. The data are taken from your head, and I have access to it. Reading yours was quite pleasant."

"And it just so happens that just know everything about ME? Or you browse everything and memorize? Sorry, I don't buy it."

"Would you believe if I told you you're special?"

"And it's me who cannot be trusted... I don't like it. I know about you just as much as they said on TV and-"

"I could tell you about myself," he interrupted and sighed, turning away from me. He moved forward slowly, I followed him. "What I like, what I don't. What is my hobby, I could recite poems about my love to coffee... but what for? You don't care about it. You have questions and thanks to them I'm still breathing, so let it be like this for a while. We will get to the safe place, I will explain everything and our paths will diverge. I don't want to die, James. I really don't want to."

"I don't want to kill you," I was surprised at how fast I said this. "I wanted. But not anymore."

He didn't answer. For the rest of the way he said nothing about this. Instead, he talked about some total bullshit like why the color red is better than blue. Perhaps he didn't trust me to the point he thought I could kill him straight after I get my stupid answer. He said he's not scared of me, but in reality... he was. He acted reasonably and even though I knew it, I felt a strange pain in my chest. A part of me wanted Stark to trust me...

We arrived at the safe hiding place in the evening. Legs ached so much that if it weren't for the serum circulating in my veins I'd never get up from bed the next day. We stood in front of a large house with white brick walls and red roof. The paint was peeling off here and there, walls were covered with bullet holes, but it was a beautiful house. The lawn was evenly trimmed and revealed that someone lives here and takes care of the place. Houses which stood next to this were long time abandoned, empty and haunted by their dead owners. Stark knocked on the door several times, and when I was about to tell him that no one is there, the door opened. We saw a fine elderly woman, strands of curly dark hair fell over her face on which were painted disbelief and surprise.

"Tony! We thought you were dead! Thank God..." she sobbed, embracing Stark. She hugged him so tightly like she wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream. "I was so worried..."

"...'re chokin'... me..." brunet croaked, gasping for breath.

"I'm sorry," she replied, pulling away from him. Just then she noticed me and looked at me with tears in her eyes. "And who is that?"

"Auntie, it's... James," Stark said slowly, as if trying to find a fitting answer. I took a step forward, I wanted to greet her and fully introduce myself but I didn't have a chance. I was a victim of the same grip as Stark moment earlier.

"Rhodey?! God, you're alive!" the woman screamed, straight into my ear. Rhodey? Who the hell is Rhodey? She must have mistaken me with him. But even when she let go of me, she didn't give me a chance to explain this mistake. She grabbed us both and pulled quickly inside the house. "So many good news today. Go to the living room, I'll bring you something to drink."

Tony led the way, behaved unnaturally quiet. It was only as he sat in the corner of the sofa, I noticed an emptiness in his eyes. His eyes... looked like they were dead, and their owner was deeply engrossed in his own thoughts. It was a disturbing sight. I sat down next to him, watching him.

"Who is this Rhodey?" I asked, wanting to clarify this issue before the coming of the older woman. Auntie May. Yes, of course. Auntie May. Stark flinched, realizing that he's not alone in the room.

"My best friend," he replied after a moment and burried himself in the couch, embracing his legs with arms. I wanted to ask another question, but the woman managed to come back with two mugs full of hot, fragrant tea.

"Unfortunately I don't have sugar..." she said apologetically and looked at Stark, smiling slightly. "I don't have coffee either... I hope you don't mind a bitter tea."

"I..." I began, trying to get back to the topic and explain who am I, however, Stark interrupted me.

"It's fine. Rhodey won't mind too," I looked at him menacingly, frowning. What the hell? He gave me indifferent look and shrugged.

"Drink up, warm up and rest a little. Your room is waiting for you, Tony. I'll inform the rest about your arrival," she said, and soon again disappeared from sight. Stark took his cup of tea and looked at it with those dead eyes.

"Why didn't you tell her who am I?" I asked, feeling... I don't know, deceived? Furious? Confused? All at once?

"Why? It's easier this way."

"What if the real Rhodey come here?" I frowned again, trying to imagine such a situation. It doesn't make sense.

"He won't come."

"How can you be this certain? He'll learn you have been found and he'll get here as soon as he can."

"...dead cannot walk, James. Rhodey is dead," he said dryly, his voice emotionless. Pain danced in his eyes. At this point, I felt oddly stupid. I wished I could take back all I've just said. Still... pretending someone I'm not? In addition, Stark's best friend... Auntie didn't remember the guy or we look this similiar? Or maybe she never saw him?

"I'm sorry," I muttered, but I really wanted to scream. What have I gotten myself into?

Stark didn't respond. He put the cup back on the table, turned to the side, facing the back of the sofa and curled up. He looked like he wanted to sleep... as if he wanted all this to end like a bad dream in the morning. I knew this, the way how he felt. So many times I felt the same way... No, I never felt the same way. I had Steve... I couldn't imagine pain of losing him. I bit the inside of my cheek and put a hand on Stark's shoulder.

"Tony..." it was the first time that I used his name.

"Don't touch me," he growled, his voice cracking and knocked off my hand from his arm. When I touched him again, he raised himself and wanted to hit me. We fought a bit, tears ran down his cheeks. Finally I grabbed his arms and hugged him tightly. For a while he kept hitting me on the sides with his fists, but I didn't let him go. I held him untill he calmed down. For a long time he was shaking and crying. Then he gave up and his body went limp in my arms. You're trying to be tough, but under this shell there is a sensitive guy. You also have enough of the hell you happened to live in...

"It's all my fault..." he whispered, before he fell asleep from exhaustion.

The previous day I asked Auntie May where is Tony's room and took him there. She offered me a hot meal, but I had Tony sleeping in my arms and I also was tired. Whole time I tried to play the role of Rhodey. The room had a large bed, anf of course some small sofa in the corner – but I didn't even thought about using it. I've slept with this guy so many times it made no difference anymore. I slipped under the covers and hugged him.

Next day Stark's allies were supposed to come here. His small group. Do they also never seen Rhodey? Unlikely. What if someone will realize I'm not him? Tony purred and rubbed his cheek against my collarbone, as if sensing my fear. I smiled and scratched him behind the ear, like a cat. He was not asleep, he glanced at me sideways.

"Good morning," he murmured, which caused even wider smile on my lips. I don't know why, I was just glad he was next to me.

My fears were confirmed when me and Tony came down from the second floor down to the living room. A group of four sat there, red-haired beauty among them. She stiffened at the sight of me, she knew who I was. The fear in her eyes betrayed her. Next to her right sat a black man, he waved friendly at me. So he knew nothing. Just as a very young boy sitting on an armchair. On the left side of her, however, sat a blonde guy, who raised an eyebrow in surprise. He didn't have any sort of fear in eyes, perhaps he didn't know who I was, but certainly he knew Rhodey and noticed it wasn't me. Red-haired woman suddenly stood up and quickly walked over to us, caught us by the arms and led to the kitchen.

"What is he doing here?!" she asked Tony, pointing at me with her hand. "Tony, he's dangerous."

"Listen..." he began, but I cut him off immediately.

"No more dangerous and suspicious than you."

"Shut up. Nobody asked about your opinion. What are you doing here? Are you spying on us? You want to sell information to your mates where Tony is hiding? What are your intentions?"

"Natasha! He brought me here," Tony said. "I was wounded, I went back to the tower in search of medicine. He found me and took care of me."

"He?" she asked in disbelief. "You have to be joking..."

"It's true," I confirmed, leaning against the table.

"What's up with this Rhodey stuff... Auntie May said you came with him, Tony..."

"Yes, I know. I didn't want to make a fuss. I didn't want to explain what happened to him... It still hurts me. I didn't want to explain who is my new companion and how I met him. They share name. She took him for Rhodey herself, she never seen him, only heard stories... I thought it will be easier if James will play Rhodey."

"You can't lie forever, Tony. You will need to explain this..."

"Later."

"Alright. I'm glad to see you. I was so worried..." she hugged him, kissed his temple and stroked his hair.

I thought all the surprises were behind me. I couldn't be more wrong. Around noon came another guest, just at the time when I took a shower. I washed away all the dirt, cleaned my hair and for several minutes I sat on the floor wrapped up in a towel. I tried to sort things up in my head, I had real chaos there. If I ever had doubts whether Natasha works with Stark... now I don't. So they were looking for that Almanac. I really tried to focus on this but I couldn't. I kept seeing that one moment when she hugged him. I felt quite unpleasant pain in my chest. Where was she when he needed her?!

Once I fixed myself, I went downstairs with still wet hair. Tony stood and spoke to someone, in one hand he held a sandwich. I walked closer and felt as chills ran down my spine. I knew this guy. I even worked with him. It was none other than Crossbones himself. Without thinking I rushed between them, grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket with my metal arm and pushed him against the wall.

"What are you doing here?!" I snapped, tugging him.

"And what are you doing here?" the same question echoed from his mouth. I felt furious.

"James, calm down," I heard a voice from behind.

"Tony, he's a Headhunter! I know him! He sold us many information about you!" I spitted out, almost shouting.

"No matter how you look at this, you're also a Headhunter," Crossbones laughed, grinning.

"I'm not like you."

"No, you're much worse," after these words I hit his body against the wall.

"What are you doing here?!" I snapped again.

"James..." Tony put his hand on my back and stroked me reassuringly. "Brock is a friend, not an enemy. He always been..."

"Tony, he's not a friend... he... he..." I stammered, searching for words in my head. What was I saying? Phone... You cannot help him. Where is Brock? JARVIS called him, expecting him to help Tony... The world spun before my eyes. I let go and Crossbones fell back, I looked at Tony. "...he is a Headhunter..."

"Just like you."

You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand*