Remembering Him
Steve was seated alone in the conference room. Everyone had left once Bucky made his exit. The mood in the room had shifted and everyone needed some space and time to think about their situation. It was a mutual agreement that Alec Bane had to be taken down discreetly. As for Angelique, it was still hard to come up with some sort of plan. Perhaps Bucky's plan wasn't entirely wrong, Steve thought. Maybe if someone got to Angelique, quickly made an evaluation on her, they could decide whether she was worth bringing over or not.
These thoughts were swirling around in his mind. Scenarios, upsides/downsides, pros and cons... nothing was helping him at all. The clearing of Sam's throat was what relieved Steve from his never ending failures of strategies.
"Whatcha doing old man?" Sam asks, leaning on the doorway. "Meeting was over an hour ago. What are you still doing here?"
"I'm just thinking." Steve sighs out as he sat back in his chair.
"Want to tell me what you've been thinking?" Sam asks, walking up to him and sitting down in the chair beside him.
"Not really," Steve answers. "I haven't gotten anywhere for this Angelique extraction."
"You know how the team feels about her." Sam answers. "50/50 in whether she's incarcerated or rehabilitated. It's up to you to tip the tipping scale. So what side are you leaning towards to?"
"I don't know..." Steve sighs out. "If she's being under the same conditions as Bucky then we have to save
her, but if she's still working with Hydra, with the powers that she has, maybe it's better to lock her up."
"I know that's not your real reasonings for this Rogers," Sam responds. "This has more to do with Bucky than you're letting on."
"Wilson, the hell you're talking about?" Steve asks.
"You know what." Sam answers. "Bucky was your best friend in the 40's and you blamed yourself for his death for the longest of times. Now he's back, memory slowly returning, and you expect things to go back to the way they were. It's not, Steve. I'm sorry, but it's not."
"Don't you think I know that?" Steve exclaims. "But... I just assumed he still trusted me to confide in me. He talks to me, but I know he's always hiding something from me."
"Bucky can relate to you when it comes to lack of experience with technology or 40's culture, but when it comes to being put in cryo-freeze, being used as a weapon, being the public enemy... who can he turn to?"
"Me." Steve answers. "He can turn to me."
"You? Captain America? The Golden Boy of the United States?" Sam asks him. Steve looks down as he hears this and Sam chuckles a little. "Even I feel intimidated by you sometimes and I'm a good guy, imagine what Barnes feels when he's standing next to you."
Steve remained quiet, staring off at the wall pensively. Sam was right and it was over a simple fact that Steve and Bucky were no longer from the same world like they used to be.
"Look, I'll do whatever my Captain orders me to do, but I think bringing Angelique in would be the best choice." Sam tells Steve. "We'll free her from Hydra's control and Barnes will help her rehabilitate. She'll have someone to talk to about her experiences and Barnes will to. It's a win-win situation."
Sam pats Steve on the shoulder before standing up.
"And that is my two cents." Sam says as he makes his way out of the conference room. "The decision is now up to you."
She tossed and turned in bed that coming night. Sleep was not easy for her and the dreams were not as gentle. The soldier was the center of them all. The cold lifeless eyes staring deep into her soul. That wasn't what made her afraid though, it was the fact that she was staring at him in the exact same way. She didn't know where she was until a flash of color exploded in the scene.
A violin was playing sharply around them and in a quick motion she was dancing a tango with the man in front of her. He easily led her through the dance floor, sharp turns and quick spins. The dress was tight on her but the skirt snapped around her legs. The soldier danced with ease and dipped her. His body was tightly pressed against her and she felt something exploding in her chest. He seemed to feel it too and their lifeless eyes seemed to snap out of their lifeless haze.
"Soldat!" she shouted as she abruptly sat up on her bed. Her heart was beating rapidly and her mind was slowly unraveling the dream she just had. She pulled the sheet up to her chin and took a deep breath. "Soldat..."
Her mind remembered his clear eyes, the sharpness of his jaw, and the strength in his arms. She recalled his silent nature, his obedient mind, and the cool feel of his metal hand on her skin. Something in her mind whispered that she knew more of him, more than what he showed in the surface. She couldn't help but wish to know more about him but asking Alec was out of the question. He would use this against her in some way. She was learning this as she spent time with him.
No, she couldn't ask Alec for more information. She had an idea as to how to get what she wanted but it was quite dangerous. If she was caught the punishment would be what Alec has been threatening with ever since she was released from cryo; the threat of being wiped clean.
If she did decide to do this, she would have to do it discreetly and create an allusion to make them forget what she's done. The complicated part would be getting close enough to one of her guards to do this, but they all travelled in pairs for maximum security for her and against her. She racked her brain for other ways to find a new resource until she remembered the gala that was coming up this weekend. Her security detail remained out of the way and Alec was forced in a position to be nice to her. This allowed her the freedom to move around and have a pick as to who she could drain the information from.
She looked at the alarm clock beside her and noticed that it was too late to go back to sleep. The sun would rise any minute and soon thereafter her handler would come pay a visit with threatening warnings dripping from his tongue. She decided it was best to get an early start to a long boring day of solitude. She placed her robe around herself and made her way outside to the balcony.
The sun slowly started to peak out of the horizon. The dark blackness of the night slowly fading into beautiful shades of blues, oranges, and pink. The stars disappeared and in their place clouds started to make their way in. She closed her eyes and could distantly hear the traffic growing below her. Just like the sun, life was waking up below her. She couldn't help but wish that she could wake up too from this dreadful nightmare she was living in.
The gym was filled with the echoes of punches hitting the bag. Some of it were soft thuds while others were loud. Steve didn't have to even look to know that it was Bucky working out this early in the morning. Not because this was what Bucky tended to do every morning, but because the simple sound of his metal arm hitting the bag was proof enough. Steve slowly made his way across the matts on the floor and stopped in front of Bucky and the punching bag.
Bucky noticed him as soon as he stepped into the room, he just chose to ignore him. His tired breaths filled the silence between them before the sound of a tear replaced it instead. Bucky's metal fist had gone through the punching bag and sand was now pouring out onto the floor. Bucky sighed as he pulled his arm out of the bag. The only thing between them had been punched through and now there was no other choice but for Bucky to talk to Steve.
"Before you stalk off to the privacy of your room, I just have one question to ask you." Steve tells him as Bucky met his stare. Bucky simply nodded for Steve to continue. Steve licked his dry lips and took a deep breath. "Is she worth saving?"
"Steve..." Bucky sighs out.
"I'm serious Buck," Steve interrupts him before Bucky could respond further. "Pietro has given us many reasons as to why we should and should not save Angelique. I want to hear your side of the story. What does she have to do with you, Bucky? Did you... did you fall in love with her too?"
"Hydra isn't a place that allowed romantic relationships with your working colleagues, especially if you're their two favorite assets." Bucky answers. "And you heard what Pietro said, there's severe punishments if you disobey their rules."
"That didn't answer my question." Steve states. "Did you or did you not love her?"
Bucky looks away from Steve and lets out a heavy breath.
"I don't know, Steve." Bucky confesses to him. "But I feel drawn to her. My mind keeps wanting to remember more about her but comes up blank."
"So all you remember is her being led to cryo?" Steve asks him.
"No..." Bucky whispers ignoring the questioning look from Steve. "I remember her in this tight red dress but that's all I can recall."
"That sounds like there's more to it." Steve says concerned. "You sure you don't remember anything else?"
"Why does it matter to you to know that I cared about her, Steve?" Bucky asks him. "I don't know if I did. I don't know if we ever spoke to each other or saw each other somewhere other than the hallway leading to the cryo chamber. I don't know if I loved her. I just don't know, Steve."
"Calm down, Buck." Steve tells him quietly. "Didn't mean for you to get worked up. I'm just worried about what would possibly happen if she were to be brought in."
Bucky doesn't respond and instead starts to pack his gym bag, ready to leave this discussion behind him. Steve sighs as he sees this and tries to mend things.
"Look, I'm just trying to prepare for any possible outcome." Steve tells him. "It's obvious Pietro holds some sentiment for Angelique, I had to check if you did too. I wouldn't want some love triangle creating tension here and the team picking sides as to who should be with who. I'm looking out for you and everyone else."
"I haven't healed from Hydra, Steve." Bucky responds as he looks up at his friend. "I'm not in the right state to start something up and neither is she."
"Good to know," Steve states. "Now that that's settled, I think my decision has been made."
Bucky quirks his brow questioningly and Steve smiled softly at him.
"Let's go save your cryo girl, Barnes."