Chapter 6
Tony wanted to laugh.
Or cry.
Preferably both.
He walked in silence with Howard on his heels, asking million questions- Jesus, even Peter was asking less questions. About the future, about his life, about Steve, about-
"How did we end up here?" now, that was a question that Tony was willing to answer.
he pinched his nose bridge, tired, trying to think how he explains it simple enough, without all the science- wait, he doesn't need.
The first positive thing about being with his father.
"After one of my accountants noticed a very big electricity bill from your old mansion if you mention the fact that no one lives there, I went to see what's going on. Saw a machine- your machine, struggling to work. Long story short, figured out you had some dark matter, or how you called it that time, zero matter-" Howard blushed "-that you shouldn't have, somethings went wrong, and in that time your 'minds' were spreading over the world with the zero matter because your body got lost somewhere around. I invented a device, called it Starktector, or Cartector, or- well, you get the idea, and found out that most of you still stayed in America."
Howard nodded. "How did the device worked?"
Tony smirked. "We had some brilliant scientists over the years, one of them is me- and we figured out that what makes the difference between any living mind is the memories. Gathered around a few men that you knew, they told me stories. I checked out the active areas in their brains, and did an- well, kind of an avarage, and created a model of your brains using these connections, which included the memories. This was the base. I started gathering around the parts of your memories, using- well, magic basiclly, with the help of an old enemy. I used my models to automatically separate between your memories and- tada! You had brains. With the help of the beloved Doctor Cho, I created you bodies and- you're alive! Probably your bodies touch something wrong in my lab, and somehow got into the UN, but nevermind!"
Howard looked... shocked. "That's brilliant." he finally managed to say.
"Thanks." Tony answered, not very impressed.
"No, really, it is." Howard took a deep breath and sighed. "Look, let's not cheat anyone- I was a shitty father. I mean, you got fucking shell shocks from me, and although I don't really understand what are those, I know it's not good. I never told you this, but... you're brilliant. You're a genius. I mean, man, you created an AI-" JARVIS hummed in agreement "-you built a suit of armor which is- alive, I guess? I don't really know. I tried to keep my distance so you can grow up by yourself, not by my ideas, but when I see you making the same mistakes I did- I can't let you. I won't let you. You're a trustful man, Anthony, and I've seen many good men who have fallen because of that. I tried to expose you to the dark side of the world, not letting you be with me, so you won't grow too attached but-" he gave Tony a hoarse laugh. "-like most of the things I did, this one went shitty through the years, I guess.
"I always thought that Steve was the only good thing that I brought to the world, you know? But I was wrong. You are a hero. You are good. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You are, and always will be, my greatest creation." Tony gave him a hoarse laugh.
"I'm fucked up." he said, slowly.
"So am I."
"I have the blood of so many people on my hands. They call me..."
"A murderer? I was no better then that."
"I'm a playboy."
"Why do you think they call me Casanova?"
"I have a drinking problem." This one seemed to make Howard freeze for a few seconds, and Tony thought that he had won in this fucked up competition.
"Then I didn't manage to stop you from doing my mistake. Another point for me."
"I fucked it up with Peggy. I told her..."
"Too many things, and she won't ever forgive me for some. The fact that we're friends doesn't mean that I haven't done and said horible things."
"I'm an enemy of Steve Rogers." Howard looked at him, shocked. There was a tensed silence for a few minutes.
"Why?" he finally asked, and god, Tony was sick of people asking that question.
"Because he gave the world a third finger just to save his friend, and-"
"That's what people like about him, he is loyal!" Howard snapped.
"He almost killed me!"
"But he didn't!"
"HE LIED TO ME ABOUT YOUR DEATH!" Tony was breathing heavily. "He lied to me about your death, and I blamed you." he sounded like a broken record, like he repeated this speech already thousand times infront of the mirror. "He ignored the will of 117 different countries. Because of his actions 16 different people, inclouding my best friend, ended up paralayzed, and he was about to get away from the accusations because the world needed him."
"This isn't Steve."
"Yes, it is." Tony answered, and Howard thought for a minute.
"Yes, it is." he agreed, and sighed.
Tony took a deep breath, trying to relax. "Drink?" he asked, although he already knew the answer. He pulled out a bottle from the bar, randomly.
"For being fucked up?" Howard suggested and took the glass.
"For being fucked up." Tony agreed.
And they drank.
Meanwhile, a few floors above...
Natasha decided that it will be the best time to have a tour around the building. The group followed, unwillingly. Clint seemed to be happy at the chance to catch up with his best friend, but Natasha ignored him, answering surprisingly wide answers for Peggy's questions.
"I'll catch up with you guys soon." He told to Sam and Clint. Clint nodded, not looking at him, and Sam shot at him a worried look, but Steve smiled at him, and that seemed to calm him down.
Steve climbed the stairs, to the floor that once a lifetime ago was his home. He wasn't surprised to see that Tony had completly changed it, but... his heart shrinked a little when he looked at the place. Tony took out all of his personal belongings, leaving only the gym- in fact, the floor was a gym, much more impressive then the one that was there a few years ago, the small place that belonged just to him.
Steve took a deep breath and sat down on a strange trampoline, carefully. When nothing seemed to happen, he lay back, staring at the ceiling. "Have I lost my way?" he asked, and the room stayed exactly as it was, no answer. "What should I do, Peggs?" he heard a soft laugh on his right.
"I don't think that you should ask Peggy." said Sousa, stepping forward. Steve sighed. "I know, but..." he tried to think about the best way to explain it. "Since I was that skinny boy in Brooklyn, who somehow managed to join the army, she was there. For me. She was my guide light, and even after I woke up in the future, she still was there- not the same, but it was her. I lost her, in the second time in my life, when she died." Steve took a deep breath. He rememberd that like it was just yesterday. "And now, when she's finally here, I lost her again. To you." his voice wasn't blaming, and he didn't know how to define the feeling that fills his chest. Nostalgic?
Sousa sat down near him, and a few minutes past, quietly, each solider at his own brain. "No one believed." Sousa finally said, almost whispering. "I still don't believe that I've managed to replace you. I mean, look at me." he passed his hand in his hair. "What am I? A friend of my- in fact, all of my friends, they used to say 'No girl is gonna trade in a red, white and blue shield for an aluminium crutch'."
Steve gave him a bitter laugh. "And yet, here you are."
"And yet, here I am." Sousa agreed. "You say you've lost your way, but... you still keep fighting for it." he suddenly said, changing the subject of their conversation.
"I do." it was Steve's turn to agree.
"Why?"
Steve thought for a minute. "Because this is where my old way led me."
"Maybe your old way led you here, but now you're in a new way." Sousa told him, quietly. "You need to think how you should act over here. 'The Man with a Plan', so they say. Prove them you are not just fighting for something you shouldn't. Or maybe... prove yourself that you are. But don't keep fighting for something that you don't know."
A small smile has appeard on Steve's face. "You are good for her."
Sou- Daniel looked at him, surprised. "You are reasonable person. She need a man like you in her life." Daniel blushed, but recovered quickly. "She doesn't need me. She is Peggy Carter."
Steve sighed. "Don't let yourself think that way. She tries to make everyone think so, but..." he thought for a minute.
"You can see that she needs a Howard in her life."
Daniel nodded.
"But he can't, right?"
Another nod. "I think I'm getting where you're going."
"Good."
Daniel stood up with the help of his crutch. "It was nice meeting you, Captain." he said, and saluted. "You too, ..." "Sergeant." he completed for Steve. "It was nice metting you too, Sergeant Sousa." they shook their hands, and Daniel began walking away.
"Sergeant?"
the man stopped.
"Make sure to ask Tony for his pRhodey. Don't worry, he will understand." pRhodey, another name from Tony Stark Ltd., was a connection between Rhodey and prosthesis.
"I'll make sure." the other man answered, and stepped away.
Steve made sure that the man couldn't hear him. "JARVIS?" the AI didn't answered, probably ignoring him.
Steve sighed and pulled out his smartphone, which was now a few years old. Without Tony's will to always upgrade his phone to the newest version, he had an outdated phone. 'Outdated phone for an outdated man', Tony would say, but it was the only SI tech that he had, so he prefered to keep it.
He entered to Google, and typed a few words. "Thank you, Sergeant Sousa." he said to the ceiling, which didn't answered.
He entered the first result, and began reading the new Sokovia Accords.