He’s the oldest, he’s in charge. Why don’t the others GET that? And why is it so cold? He tries to huddle the rest in a corner with him for warmth, but they’re just DUMMIES, and keep wandering away. The sky opens, and there’s a human in it.
“Oh my GOD. Who left a bunch of kittens in a box in weather this cold? That’s just… there are no words. No words for how awful that person is. Now-“
Person disappears, and there is yelling, and loud noises, and then the box they are in is moving. All of his siblings are arguing as loudly as he is. He wants to know what’s going on, but the world outside has been shut, and they cuddle together in a tangle.
When the box opens again, he’s ready to launch at the first foe available. There isn’t one. There is nothing threatening him, or his litter mates.
He strikes out towards the side of the box on his own. Then his siblings start to stir behind him, but he will let them know what he finds first. He peeks his head over the side of their shelter.
There’s food. There’s a lot of food. He ignores how his tummy twitches at that. There’s enough food for every one of them, and water too. But there’s one trail he sees, one that he wants.
He hops out of the box, and hears his more curious mates start wandering closer.
“For REAL? I know this is a period piece, but I can’t believe people BUY that, man. That was SO not like that, back in the day.”
He peers around the large fuzzy thing, and there is the woman from the alley. She’s on the floor, yelling at a glowing thing. The trail of food leads to her, and he thinks it’s intentional. She sighs, loudly, and lets her hand drop near where he is. It’s a nice looking hand.
Behind him, his family has started to sneak outside the box, and is devouring the food they find. He sidles up a lot closer.
“You know, I am not a fan of the corseted periods. But I can get behind the seamed stockings type. What do you think, little dude?”
Her hand is extended enough that he can dodge around it, but close enough that he just opens his mouth and yowls.
“Holy Crapballs, man. Are you…?” she looks at the kitten. “I’m not sure what you want here, tiny ranger. I will curl up and cuddle the heck out of all of you, but I’m pretty sure if I make grabby hands at you, you won’t like it.”
The human points away from her, towards the rest of the food. “You have lots of nom’s over there, if you want them. There’s water, toys, a few blankets, everything you could want. You don’t have to be over here with me, big fella. You got options. None of them end up with you out alone in the rain again. I got a War Machine that promised.”
A few more sniffs of the hand, and he marched off to make sure his siblings were eating. They were. They were stuffing their faces with more food than they could chew. He couldn’t tell them they were bad, he immediately did the same. Once full and sleepy, they migrated in a group to the biggest, softest space and curled up to sleep.
When he wakes up, he notices that the girl isn’t on the floor anymore. She’s on top of the big fuzzy thing, and she’s making a noise he doesn’t recognize. The others are still asleep, so he investigates.
Slowly, he makes his way towards the land mass. It doesn’t move, so he hooks his claws into the side, and draws himself up. Reaching the top has a kind of satisfaction.
Navigating off of it doesn’t take more than a hop, and then he’s negotiating soft terrain. His paws sink into the fabric as he sidles up next to the warm, apparently sleeping human. He makes it up to her hip, and stops.
It’s kind of nice here. Nice, and soft, and warm. And the blanket smells safe. This might be a good time for a nap.
Darcy wakes up sweating, covered in kittens. She literally cannot move.
“At some point, I asked for this, didn’t I? I asked to be paid to take care of kittens. And now?” she asks, looking down the couch. “Jarvis? How did I end up like this?”
“I blame-“
“All life decisions on Mr Stark,” they finish together.
“Jarvis?”
“Yes, Miss Lewis?”
“You’re a bastard.”
“Well, I am-“
“Nu-uh. You waited until I was covered in tiny, sleeping kittens, and called me ‘Miss Lewis’. It’s ON, dude. I WILL win a prank war with an AI.”
“Not to judge, but I have all access to the building, and you are covered in tiny cats with sharp claws. I will see your dare.”
“Do you really want to do this?” she asks, smirking into the closest camera.
“Why would I not?” Jarivs replies.
“Oh, I got dirt on every single Avenger. Including you, dude. You’re keeping the cats quiet because we’re friends, but I have SO much on you, you don’t even KNOW.”
The next three hours weren’t pretty. Darcy had SO much footage on Jarvis messing with Tony (but not Pepper… that would never be seen again). And Jarvis had a hell of a lot of footage of Darcy pranking, well, everyone else.
Also? It was all done without either waking a kitten.
“Call it, Jay, I won.”
“Never, D. I will not accept defeat.”
They both take a moment.
“You realize that we’re going to have to name the kitten that’s migrated up under your chin after someone amazing?”
“You mean Gabe? Yeah. I did.”
“Already?”
“You can name the next one. But at least three are going to be Howlie kittens.”
“How are you planning that?”
“Well, my Gabe here is a challenge seeker. I figure that the one over by the food bowl will be Dugan. And I got Morita down there by my feet.”
“Why-“
“He’s closest to the door. Tactics, Jay. A team knows their tactics.”
“And the other three?”
Darcy glances down at the three kittens curled up on/next to her tummy. “Well… I said you could name the next one. I’d make it something someone else on the team finds adorable.”
Jarvis is quiet for a moment. “Can it be Russian?”
“Only if I get the Widow helping us out here, instead of trying to rid the tower of vermin. Of which I include myself, my husband, and you.”
“I believe this will work well for all involved.”
“Then do the do, man.”
Gabe settles his head back against the humans neck. Yes. This will work out. The sky voice seems nice, and his human is comfy. He butts his head against her chin and purrs. This is much better than the box.