Epilogue
"And by strange alchemy of brain
His pleasures always turn'd to pain —
His naivete to wild desire —
His wit to love — his wine to fire —
And so, being young and dipt in folly
I fell in love with melancholy...."
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One year later
Adam gazed out across the inky waters of the Thames, his unruly mane of dark hair tousled into a cats-cradle by the brisk breeze which rolled in across the river.
He found his glacial eyes leaving the beauty of the velvet blue sky, and peering down into the murky depths as he paused for a moment of silent reflection.
His past and himself had always been two separate countries. Countries that were at war with each other.
But now finally, he realised as he stood leaning on the bridge in quiet contemplation, that he was now at peace with the ghosts of his past.
Where once this had been a broken city, embracing a broken man....he now dared to dream of the future.
And he owed it all to Ava.
She had forced him to confront his demons, and whilst he would never be able to chase them from his mind, with Ava's influence, he had at least succeeded in forging a peace treaty with them.
He could not change who he was, anymore than he could change what he was and what he had done.
In his youth he had taken more than his fair share of lives.
With a vivacious appetite, he had used his beguiling charms to entice many a young woman to her death; seducing her with poetry and false flattery, only to feast upon her flesh then discard her lifeless body unceremoniously into the very waters he now stood above.
There were many a body dumped into the Thames back then. Victims of epidemics such as tuberculosis, cholera, and scarlet fever. Diseases that posed no great threat to his kind, but had swept through the city, killing off whole families.
Such times were foreign to the zombies now. They had no idea how fortunate they were to be living such pampered, 21st century lives.
He still despaired for their kind and what they had become. Only when the last tree was cut down, and the last stream poisoned would they perhaps realise that you cannot eat money.
But even in his fleeting moments of melancholy, he realised with unforgiving clarity the cloud of fear he saw over life, awaiting for the grotesque house of cards humanity had built to come tumbling down, was not his concern or responsibility.
He couldn't mourn the destruction of the world, or keep agonising over irreversible mistakes made by mankind.
He alone couldn't change the world, just as he couldn't change his own mistakes.
And there had been many.
His remorse and shame had eventually consumed him, like The Picture of Dorian Gray, he had long ago made a pact with the devil and become one himself.
This had almost been his undoing.
Dancing along the fine line between sanity and the insane, his grief and self-loathing had driven him into a long life of reclusiveness and depression.
But Ava had given his life new meaning and purpose.
Like the siren of legend, she had beckoned him with loving eyes and fingers, and like a lost soul he had swam to her, deciding that if death were to be his bride, then so be it.
But he hadn't ended up broken on the rocks, like he had feared.
Instead she had guided him to calmer waters, and eventually, the shore, where he now knew peace.
They had grown, and evolved together. They complimented each other well.
She like April skies, with fire in her heart and sunlight in her eyes.
He like a dark angel, cast out of heaven.
She was the yin to his yang. They were living incarnations of light and dark, each complimenting and balancing the other.
At last he had found happiness, and she had taught him that he deserved it.
She had become his muse. His inspiration.
That morning he had taken pen to paper and written new song lyrics which although melancholic, still reflected the love he felt for her...
"I keep a spade by my side. I'm unsure for what the reason. It will either dig me out of a hole or help make my grave. I change my mind daily on its purpose.
I only hope you will be there to either brush the dirt from my face, or lay a flower down onto my final resting place."
Just then the sound of the heels on her Mary Jane shoes came clip-clopping toward him, and he found himself smiling.
He did that a lot more these days. It suited him, so Ava said.
"Adam..."
She reached out and gently touched the arm of his suede jacket.
"Adam, you need to hurry up. They're all waiting for you."
"Shit. Sorry, I was just.....taking a breather. Enjoying the night air."
Ava hesitated, a worried frown forming on her small brow.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to tell the guys you need a few more minutes? They'll understand."
Adam shook his head, and turned to offer Ava his arm.
"I'm pretty sure they'll be pissed off if they have to play their set without the lead guitarist. The crowd won't be understanding."
"Lead guitarist AND new lead vocalist!"
She pointed out proudly, slipping her dainty arm through his.
"But fuck them."
She remarked with all the flippancy that he had grown to love.
"If you're not feeling up to this, then you don't have to do it. I know you're nervous."
Adam threw his head back and laughed, as they began making their way back along the embankment.
"I am, admittedly, feeling a little nervous. But it's all about facing your fears isn't it?"
Ava rubbed his arm tenderly with her free hand.
"Yes! And you'll be great. They'll love you. How could they not?"
"You, are biased."
"True. But that doesn't alter the fact that you're amazing, Adam!"
Adam halted, and gazed down his imperial nose at her. His eyes shining with uninhibited adoration.
"Thank you, Ava."
"For what?"
She gulped, taking in his stoic expression.
Serious Adam.
"For everything. For your unshakable faith in me. For forcing me to overcome my fears. For being wonderful. For.....being you. You're the amazing one. You never gave up on me. And you never stopped loving me. I will always be grateful for that. I'll never understand how you believed in me so much-"
"Ssshh, shush!'
She silenced him by placing a delicate fingertip to his cool lips.
"Love means never having to say thank you. I've never not believed in you."
Their otherworldly eyes fused together, and Adam brought his face closer, pressing a tender kiss to her soft, pillowy lips.
Even now, a year on, every kiss still felt as magical and wondrous as the first one they had shared.
"Are you sure everything is alright, Adam?"
She ventured cautiously, as he straightened again.
"You're not feeling low are you? Is that why you came outside, to be by yourself? Alone with your thoughts and all that jazz?"
"Not at all."
He replied honestly.
"I just wanted to admire the blue hour."
"The what?"
"Blue hour.....it's a natural phenomenon that occurs when the sun is at a significant depth below the horizon. Basically the residual, indirect sunlight takes on a predominantly blue shade. It's been a long time since I was awake this early in the evening to see it."
The couple set off walking again, their steps falling into a synchronised pace as they made their way back to the bar where Adams' band was about to play to an audience of eager fans that had built up over the past six months.
"That's what I love about you. You teach me something new every day....tell me more."
She comfortably leaned her head against the space beneath his armpit whilst they walked.
She'd be more than happy to live there, she realised. Close to his heart and safe from harms way, sheltered by his love.
"Well, red light from the sun passes straight into space, while blue light is scattered in the atmosphere, so reaches Earth's surface. But on a clear day, it's spectacularly beautiful and colourful. There's shades of yellow, green and orange. The light paints the sky like a canvas, in colours that the garish light of day can only dream of."
"I love how you explain things, Adam...you have a beautiful, poets soul. Don't ever change."
THE END