If You Must Leave, Leave As Though Fire Burns Under Your Feet
''Can you see it kid?'' Skye looks away from the window to John, her patience wearing thin. ''See what John?'' He's smiling at her, the warmest smile she's probably ever seen him in all their years of knowing each other. It worked, the cure. He is no longer dying her goal for a decade has been reached, John is fine he isn't going to leave her. But whatever the hell Raina did to him, he is not the same man she's known.
Skye is still broken over Fitz and Simmons, the guilt has wedged it's way into her throat and won't leave. Every time she blinks she sees their faces, begging her not to do this. But what choice did she have? Garrett would of killed them if she didn't do something, will they see that eventually? Besides the pod floats, someone will find them soon. ''The stars''. John breathes, looking around the plane like they are in front of him.
Maybe they are. He's been like this for hours and Skye can't take much more, she wants to yell at him to snap out of it, that they are in the middle of a war here and don't have time to daydream. Shield is coming after them, Ward is coming after them. And she's scared. She needs John to tell her that everything is going to be okay that he will get them out of this tight spot like he has every other time before.
''No I don't see them, but you can name them for both of us, okay?" Garrett gives her a smile before crossing the distance between them and pulling her into his arms. It takes her by surprise, he's never been one for affection. ''You did it kid, you saved me''. She blooms under his praise, is careful not to let it show. ''Of course John''. He pulls back and takes her face in his hands, ''you've always been there for me Skye''.
She gives him a smile of her own, ''that will never change''. He releases her and turns back to Raina who has been silently watching them. ''She's great, isn't Skye great?'' Raina looks at her in the cool way of hers, like she knows some deep dark secret about Skye but won't share. ''She's wonderful Garrett''. John and her talk for a while and Skye turns back to the window, watches the clouds go by.
Can still see Ward's face as he finally confronted her on who she was and why exactly she was on the Bus. He looked like she was a stranger, the enemy. And now Skye supposes she is, in his eyes. Skye lays her forehead against the glass, closes her eyes. She's so tired. John didn't warn her about undercover missions taking their toll, how does Ward do this all the time? How does he not lose himself?
How is he able to walk around like nothing happened? Skye feels as if she can't stand right on her own two feet, like she's in between two people. The person she's always been, the one John had her become, and the hacker who found her place on a plane with other misfits and lonely people. The girl who broke the rules to save Ward and Fitz, the girl who got her first boyfriend killed because she didn't take John's warning seriously.
She feels like she's going to lose her mind, and she hates that she hurt everyone on the Bus. She didn't want this to happen, John said so himself he didn't want any bloodshed. None of this wenr according to plan, Simmons was shot for god sake. She didn't deserve that. But when Skye looks over to John who's laughing at whatever Raina has said, would she do it again? Betray everyone once more just to save Garrett?
Of course she would.
Skye never had any intention of seeing the team again. She was going to leave Providence with the flashdrive, meet John in Cuba and together they were going to find a cure. But then Ward had to play the hero and screw everything up, Fitz and Simmons were spotted as they stopped for fuel and Skye had no other choice but to get them off the Bus. It wasn't supposed to end like this.
''Stop thinking so loud you're bringing me down''. John says as they walk down the ramp, throws an arm across her shoulder. The Cybertek building is bright against the morning sun, Mike Peterson is silently walking behind them and there's something in the way he keeps glancing at Skye that makes her nervous. ''John you know Coulson isn't just going to give up''. ''I know that's what I'm counting on.
Cheer up honey we did it! Smile for me''. She forces one and if John doesn't believe it he doesn't let it show. She really wasn't aware how far gone he was until they meet with generals and other government officials. They look at John and Ian Quinn as if they are idiots (the sight of Quinn still makes her want to vomit and punch him in the face) and Garrett doesn't really like that. He finally has a taste for power.
Skye puts a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream when he literallty rips a man's insides out and holds them in his hand like they are paper. Quinn looks at her like she's supposed to know what to do and Skye just stands there frozen. ''This is the beginning''. Garrett says turning to smile at her, wipes the blood off his hands. Skye blinks back tears, clears her throat. ''The beginning of what John?'' ''The end''.
After a heated conversation with Raina back on the Bus that got her nowehere, Skye finds John in the main room of the Cybertek building. He's on the phone when she reaches his side and he winks at her. ''Oh you know Agent Ward it's not really me you're angry with, is it?'' Skye's eyes are wide, what the hell is Ward doing calling John? She knows Shield is here but what's Grant's play?
''It's Skye. Look I know the girl is cute but you've got to tone those emotions down son. She'll never be yours and if you think I'm going to let anyone at Shield hurt her, well it won't end well for you''. Skye takes a deep breath and watches Garrett's face carefully, he shows no signs of distress. ''Oh please by all means Agent Ward, come and get her''. John tosses the phone off the side of the rail and turns to her.
''Your boyfriend is on his way over honey''. Skye grimaces, ''not my boyfriend''. He shrugs, ''tell that to him, I saw the way he looked at you on the Bus''. Skye shakes her head, ''he hates me''. John puts both hands on her shoulders, ''but the universe doesn't''. That's when she loses it. ''Wake up! Come back to reality John, what do you need me to do?'' He smirks fondly at her. ''You've already done it''.
''I need an order''. His thumb brushes her cheek and once upon a time she would of accepted his touch, now she fights the urge to flinch. ''Just stand here and watch the show''. ''What show? John Coulson is going to kill you! And Ward he isn't going to let either of us walk free''. ''Relax Skye this is all part of the plan''. ''You planned for this? All of this to go wrong?" Garrett glances over to Mike.
''Not my plan sweetheart, the cosmos. They want us to be here, in this moment''. Not for the first time Skye wishes Kebo were here.
It turns out she isn't able to stay and watch whatever show Garrett had intended her to. One of the super soliders went down and Skye had to hack into the system Shield tried to overrun to fix him. It's then she realizes that Coulson had a trick up his sleeve and she nearly cries out in fear. She has to get to John he has no idea what's coming, that Mike is going to kill him. Skye leaves her position in the hallway and runs back to Garrett.
She's too late.
The first thing she's aware of is Ward, Coulson and Fury with their guns out. The second is Garrett's voice, hoarse and quiet as he demands of Mike to stop. Grant notices her first but she pays him no mind. ''John?'' She runs over and stops in her tracks. He's lying there smoke all around him, his face nearly unrecognizable full of blood. ''John!'' What else is she supposed to do but throw herself in front of him?
It's instinct it's automatic, he's in danger she has to save him. Garrett focuses on her and she feels his hand on her waist. ''Skye''. His voice is low, he coughs loudly and blood trickles out of his mouth. ''John look at me look at me you're going to be okay. I'm going to get you out of here I promise''. Gently she places her hands on his face and he smiles. ''You know I never wanted kids''.
''John''- ''But you? You've always been the best part of me''. His breathing is beginning to slow and Skye can't, she can't think clearly he's going to be fine he has to be fine he's cheated death a hundred times this isn't any different. ''Don't talk like that John, you're going to be okay''. She puts her hands on his chest to try and get the bleeding under control but it's no use. ''No he's not. Step away from him and put your hands on your head''.
Skye turns at the sound of Coulson's voice, doesn't even care that tears are streaming down her face. ''Coulson please, please don't do this don't hurt him please, he's all I have''. There's no sympathy in Phil's face, he just stares at her in disgust like she's a bug he just stepped on with his really expensive shoes. ''Skye move, or you will be moved''. ''Skye''. John's voice this time, weak and low.
She faces him and starts sobbing. ''You're going to be fine John''. Not even she believes it. ''You're going to be fine okay? I'm going to get you out of here and we're going to go to that beach house in Hawaii you like so much, remember?'' A ghost of a smile appears on his face. ''The one with the blue front door''. Skye let's out a sad laugh. ''Yeah that's the one. And you'll drink a beer on the beach and watch the sun set''.
He's not going to do any of that. He'll never leave this room or walk again. She's just blocking those thoughts out right now. John is beginning to fade, her palm rests over his heart and she can feel it hardly beating anymore. Garrett is looking up at her and whispers, ''I need you do to something for me''. ''Of course anything, name it''. That familiar fire she's always seen in his eyes for the past ten years come to life.
''Kill them''. She doesn't even have to ask who he's talking about, and just because Skye nods in agreement. Takes one of his hands in hers, cries and cries and cries. ''Okay, okay John''. ''You were always so good Skye, so good I''- He looks at her one last time, and stops breathing. The pulse under her hand stops. He relaxes his eyes staring into her but seeing nothing. And he never will again.
''John?'' She shakes him. ''John? John! John don't, please don't please don't go. Don't leave me I can't live without you, please don't. Come back come back come back don't go where I can't follow''. He says nothing. Skye feels this overwhelming pressure on her chest and she just buries her face in his neck and weeps. Telling him how much she loves him how sorry she is she wasn't able to save him, that he deserved to live and she should be the one to die.
Skye isn't sure how long she lays there, forgets the rest of the world and is lost in her grief. It isn't until hands are on her back that she starts screaming. The hands lift her away from John and she fights the hold with everything she has, begging to not take her away from him. That he needs her and she needs him and nothing makes sense how can she be in a world without him? What is she supposed to do?
A warm voice fills her ears, it's tight and controlled. ''It's over Skye it's over, he's gone''. He can't be. John is everything to her her entire life he can't just be gone. Just like that. He wasn't supposed to die. She should take his place, be there dead and gone on that floor, she deserves it. He fought for decades to live, and to meet his death like this? It isn't right. Can they take her instead? Trade her life for his?
Ward's face swims into view, his arms are wrapped around her like a steel cage there's no point in fighting back. Not that she wants to, what's the use? His words blur together she couldn't care less what he's saying all she sees is John below her breathing his last breath his heart beat fading under her hand. There's blood all over her. Long cold starting to dry in the cracks in her hands.
Skye stops thrashing and just stands there numb in Ward's arms, her gaze going to back to John's body. Still there. She should go to him he needs her. ''He's dead Skye''. Ward tells her, her hands firmly grasped in his. Skye slowly starts to feel nothing. Not grief not sadness, just nothing. Like it's all being drained out of her bit by bit, flowing out of her like water. She isn't sure how long they stand there.
Coulson walks up to them along with May, no one has any time to react (save for Ward but he doesn't move Skye out of the way) as the Calvary swings back her arm and punches Skye in the face. She doesn't feel the blow, nor the blood pooling in her mouth. Coulson then puts her in hand cuffs and tells her she has the rest of her life to wrestle with the question, who is she without John? She doesn't have an answer for him.
A few hours later when they put her in Vault D she breaks down. Falls to her knees and sobs. Who is she who is she who is she who is she without John without her father? He's dead he's dead and is never coming back. What does she do how does she live? All she hears is silence.