I Think We Should Run Run Run
''I was never allowed to have this''. Ward looks down at Skye who's gesturing to him, a small frown on her face. She doesn't need to explain further, this wave of anger enters him. How was John Garrett able to take a small girl off the streets and put her under his wing for ten years without anyone noticing? Why didn't Shield catch on? Why didn't Grant sense something off the first time he saw Skye and John interact?
Like Trip, Ward wishes there was some way he could of saved Skye all those years ago. He doesn't know all the details of her and John's relationship and quite honestly he doesn't want to, but that's up to Skye if she wants to tell him. ''John wasn't into the whole healthy functional relationship thing, it would distract me''. Ward clenches his teeth when she says this, Skye believed it every word John ever said.
He understands to an extent her grief over Garrett, that she does miss him. But at the same time his own family abused him his entire childhood and he doesn't miss them at all. Well, save for Rose and Thomas. But he supposes Skye's relationship with John was different, she wasn't aware she was being abused. John made the behavior seem normal and Skye being so young didn't know any better.
''In a way I'm glad he's gone, if he's dead he can't hurt you''. Skye says quietly, reaching over to tangle her small fingers with his. He's about to assure her that even if Garrett was alive there's no way he could hurt him, but she probably doesn't want to hear that. Instead he angles his head down and kisses her hair, tells her that he loves her. He's due back at the Playground soon but Ward can't find it in himself to leave her just yet.
He's been at her apartment for an hour, still sitting on the couch. When he arrived Skye was very upset and he's just now been able to calm her. She told him there are days when she will miss John so much and if he wants to be with her he's going to have to accept them, cast aside his feelings for the other man. Ward can do that. For her he will. He just hates Garrett and everything he did to Skye, she deserved better.
Any day now the task force Coulson hired is going to find her, Grant has tried everything to get her to go into hiding. Fake passport, he has money and safe houses all over the world but Skye refused. Said she didn't need him to swoop in and save her that she has a plan all her own, which she isn't sharing. A small part of him is afraid she doesn't trust him, does she think he's going to tell Coulson her plans? He would never, he just wants her to be safe.
''John had my first boyfriend killed''. Austin Peters said as much but Skye has never said the words to him out loud. There's a deep sadness in her tone, bitterness lines the edges. ''His name was Brandon, I was twenty one and god he loved me so much. I never should of been with him, he'd still be alive if it wasn't for me''. Grant clutches her tighter to his chest as tears fill her eyes.
''And that was the first time I ever hated John. Even though it was my fault, Bradon would be here if I never agreed to go out with him in the first place''. Ward is all too familiar with self hatred and guilt eating you alive, blaming yourself constantly. But this isn't on Skye, it's not her fault. He softly grazes her chin with his fingers before tipping it up so she can look at him. Her cheeks are red so are her eyes but he's still taken back by how beautiful she is.
''Skye it wasn't your fault. You wanted to be happy it's a normal human emotion. You deserved that''. She shakes her head, ''I knew the consequences, John didn't sugar coat anything. I just didn't think he'd go that far''. She's silent for a while after that, he feels her hands begin to shake against his chest. Skye breaks away from him and reaches for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table.
When he first saw them he thought they were her's but judging by her attachment to them, her body language when she holds them, he's come to the conclusion they were Garrett's and it's one of the only things she has left of him. Once she has the box in her hands he feels the tension drain slightly from her shoulders, her breathing regulates, she's relaxed back in his arms again.
Ward never realized how deep the emotional scars John left on her went, he hates it. Hates Garrett all over again, what kind of monster does this to another human being? ''I don't have to be looking at you to know you're wearing your hate face''. He rolls his eyes just like old times, doesn't deny it because she's right he was. ''It wasn't bad all the time. John could be caring, fun. He wasn't always cruel''.
That's the part Ward can't relate to. His brother and parents were never kind to him, it was hell for so many years straight until Shield recruited him. If the roles were reversed and John found him instead of Skye, trained him for years who would he become? Would the team hate him as well? Would Skye forgive him like he's forgiven her? Or would she file him under the category of monster and spend all her days longing to put four bullets in his side?
''Personal attachments weren't allowed, I'm still surprised Kebo is alive''. She mutters, running a finger along the buttons of his Henley. Ward chuckles, ''Kebo has nine lives. Believe me you wouldn't be able to shake him off no matter how hard you tried''. Skye laughs and it's the best sound he's heard all day. ''True''. Ward shifts and checks his watch, let's out a sigh. He's out of time. ''You have to go don't you?''
Grant looks down at Skye, takes her face in his hands. ''I'm not going to let anything happen to you''. ''You can't promise me that''. He grits his teeth knowing she's right. ''Are you going to tell me about your plan?'' Skye softly kisses his nose, wraps a hand around his wrist. ''I haven't worked out all the details but when I do you'll be the first to know. Relax Grant it's not that I don't trust you. I just want to make sure everything is worked out first''.
''Okay''. It does nothing to soothe him but he trusts her. ''Just be careful please''. She smiles before leaning up and kissing him, he'll never tire of kissing her. Skye is a breath of fresh air, like he's been drowning for so long and she reached out her hand and saved him. ''I love you''. She tells him in between kisses causing him to smile against her lips. ''I love you too''. And then he has to go, hating every second being away from her.
He kisses her one final time before leaving the apartment, only to find Kebo walking up the sidewalk paper bag in hand. ''Skye tell you her plan?'' ''No''. Kebo sighs and leans against the front door, one hand brushing his gun. ''Garrett still has friends in low places, they're all willing to take Skye in if she's ever in danger. John's base in Cuba she thinks is the safest place for her, I kind of agree. Only problem is getting there''.
''Why didn't she tell me that?'' Kebo shrugs, ''didn't want you to worry I guess. Garrett's friends aren't exactly warm and cuddly, especially now that he's dead who knows how they will really treat Skye. Only reason they were ever kind to her is because they didn't want to piss off John''. ''I should be there Kebo''. ''No you shouldn't. You have to be at Shield to make sure this task force doesn't kill her when they find her, you know they will''.
Ward pinches the bridge of his nose, ''yeah I know''. ''How close are they?'' ''You and Skye should try to leave for Cuba in the morning. I can't guarantee they won't find you before then''. ''Great, running for our lives is so fun''. ''Just keep her safe Kebo''. ''You know I will boss, don't worry so much''. ''I have to since you and Skye never do''. Kebo smiles at that, ''so very true. Now get out of here, I'll keep her safe you know that''.
He does, unaware of the road they are all about to go down.
The next morning Skye and Kebo are in her room stuffing clothes into bags. The fact that Kebo has more alcohol in his black duffel bag than clothes makes her sad. ''Are you taking your cat from hell?'' Skye frowns before bending down to pick up Bucky, cradles him to her chest. ''It's too dangerous''. ''It's a cat''. ''I'll just have Mrs. Jones come by and feed him for a few days''. Kebo gapes at her.
''Who the hell is Mrs. Jones?'' ''The old lady across the hall''. Kebo gives her a confused look causing Skye to sigh. ''The only one out of my neighbors I talk to, sometimes. The lady who made you coffee after you passed out in front of her door a couple weeks ago drunk off your ass''. ''Oh yeah I remember now, she made me muffins too''. Skye rolls her eyes, finishes packing. ''What am I going to do with your Uncle Kebo?''
Bucky looks up at her briefly before taking a swipe at the strings on her jacket. ''It's a cat Skye not a human''. Skye kisses the cat's nose, ''be good for Mommy while I'm gone okay buddy? You can pee on Uncle Kebo's things that's totally fine''. ''I'm going to kill him, he does that''. Kebo takes their bags to move by the front door. ''We need to get a move on Cupcake''. Skye looks around her bedroom, brushes her finger over the image of John on her nightstand.
Part of her is glad Hydra reclaimed Garrett's base in Cuba, but the other half wishes they wouldn't of. She'd only been there a few times but it was still John's place, he had a bedroom, an office, beers in the fridge. Is she ready to go through that? Open up those boxes those wounds, those memories? Not like she has a choice. And right now it's her only option, her safest one. She's lucky all of the agents there are old friends of John.
That they were able to overthrow Shield take it back and hold it, that was months ago. ''Skye we'll be back in no time you can cry on the plane''. She doesn't cry but does eat all of the in flight peanuts they provide.
''Bet you twenty dollars Ward is freaking out right about now''. Kebo says when they are let into the base and drive up. ''He's probably pacing the Playground out of his mind''. She misses him already, the warmth and comfort he offers. Skye never thought they would ever be in a relationship and now that they are she loves it, she just didn't expect they'd see so little of each other.
Selfish as it may be Skye wants to wake up with him every day, curl around him as she sleeps. Is it so bad to want that? Yes while she was on the run after John died she spent months without him, but that was before she learned he loved her. That he didn't hate her. And now that she knows that's not the case, well Skye isn't exactly a fan of being away from him. Who knows how long she'll have to hide out here, when will she see him again?
There's already a small team of men waiting at the front doors when they stop the car. ''Well let's just hope they were really Garrett's friends and not stuck up his ass so he wouldn't kill them''. ''Not funny Kebo''. Skye unbuckles her seat belt and sees him tuck a gun in the back of his jeans. When Skye steps out of the car there's a rumble of surprise throughout the group. She recongizes most of the men, late night meetings when Garrett thought she was asleep.
''Skye?'' Nervously she tosses her hair over her shoulder, ''hey guys''. ''Is that really you?'' ''We thought you were dead''. ''I'm sorry about John''. ''Hail Hydra''. They all speak at once until one of them, Tom, she thinks that's his name steps out. He's clearly the leader here. ''What are you doing here?'' Kebo steps up, halfway in front of her. Skye pinches his hip using her nails but much to his credit the boy doesn't so much as flinch.
''Shield has been hunting her for months, we need somewhere to crash. This was Garrett's place is it not? Skye has more right to be here than any of you''. That seems to do the trick, they all part so she can step inside. Taking a deep breath she walks through the doors like she's done before but this time John isn't at her side. He's not there to crack jokes or snap at one of these agents for being too slow.
He'll never drink the terrible coffee from the kitchen, never sleep in his bed or wake her up if she has a nightmare here. Never use the computer in his office or walk these halls. Kebo as if sensing her thoughts squeezes her hand, gives her a small reassuring smile. And she's grateful she's glad Kebo is with her, but she wishes Ward was too. ''I'm sure you remember where everything is Skye''.
One of the agents tells her and she nods. ''Yeah I do''. ''You'll be safe here Skye, John would expect nothing less, you can stay as long as you'd like''. Tom says, running a hand over his beard. They stop at John's office and Skye takes a deep breath, Tom and the rest leave her alone. No need for a tour, she was here long before they were. Knows all the security protocols, where everything is, how it all works.
''You don't have to go in there you know''. Skye grabs the door handle and turns, ''yeah I do''. She flips the switch and slow light fills the familiar room. It all looks the same. Like John just left and is going to return any moment, the dark leather jacket she remembers him throwing off and tossing onto his desk chair, is still there in the same spot. His office is nothing special, no personal items linger.
There's just a desk, a computer, a fully stocked bar, a book case to her left. Skye takes the pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket and clutches it tightly as tears fill her eyes. She knew what kind of man he was, and towards the end he wasn't the same person she once followed. But John and all of his faults still cared about her, took her in when no one else would. She can't just forget about all the good things he did for her.
She remembers the last time she was here, right before she joined Coulson's team. Garrett was telling her about some mission back in the day while she sat across from him and pretended to be surprised over the story she'd heard six times before. Things were so much easier back then, everything went downhill the second she stepped onto that plane. ''You alright Cupcake?''
Without a word she turns and leaves the room, shutting the door for a final time. She won't go in there again. For her own sanity she leaves his bedroom alone for now, decides to go into the kitchen. This entire place is threatening to drown her with memories of her father figure, he deserved better in the end. She doesn't like to think about the last time she saw him much, it hurts and usually requires her to drink.
A few agents are sitting at the table and give her surprised looks. ''Skye?'' ''Yeah it's me''. They ask her how she is, that they are sorry about John, what she's doing here. When she mentions Shield is after her they laugh and promise she's safe here. ''Want to join us for a drink?'' ''Sure''. Four hours later she's slightly drunk and Kebo drags her away from the kitchen. ''Just put me in John's old room so I can cry in peace''.
Kebo curses but does as she asks, half carrying her because it seems her legs forgot how to function. ''Keep the lights off''. Skye's mind is pleasantly numb her bones warm and soft, she doesn't even react when Kebo tucks her into bed. If she was sober she'd smell the pillow to check if his scent still lingered, check the nightstand drawers for old clothes and the guns he always kept near.
Instead she is fast asleep as soon as Kebo puts the blanket on her. He doesn't leave, checks the room for weapons, if anyone put bugs to listen he wouldn't put it past them. The room is clean, satisfied he sits in the arm chair by the bed, gun out and ready. Just in case, he personally thinks everyone was too nice. Ward might be rubbing off on him just a little. He sends Grant a quick message to say that everything is fine, Skye is safe.
He responds quickly, saying the task force was dispatched a few minutes ago but they've been fed false information. Ward doesn't say if it was he who sent the bad intel, or someone else. Kebo looks over to Skye who's sleeping soundly, clutching a piillow tightly to her chest. How is all of this going to end? She can't run from Shield forever and the organization shows no signs of letting her off the hook.
Ward can only protect her so much, but maybe it won't be enough. Maybe John's sins are too heavy a burden, maybe Coulson isn't just judging Skye for her mistakes alone. Maybe he's expecting her to pay for Garrett's as well.