We're Distant Stars, Lost In the Dark
Skye blinks away the exhaustion, focuses on the dark road in the window beside her. The publc bus she's on is cold, she's still wearing the dress Bobbi gave her yesterday. Or was it two days ago? Maybe three? She can't remember, it was so dark in Vault D time didn't exist. Skye runs her hands across the fabric, reminding her of the mission of Ward, how it was almost normal between them. Like it used to be.
But then she realizes those days are long gone she'll never get them back. Skye leans her head back against the hard seat, thinks about Trip and Bobbi, how they disobeyed Coulson and broke her out a few hours ago. They claimed it was because everyone deserved a second chance that what happened with Garrett wasn't her fault, he brain washed her she was a victim and it's wrong for Coulson to brush that off.
Trip surprised her by his visit to Vault D after capturing Austin Peters (she still wonders why Phil wanted him in the first place) how he apologized to her. No one from Shield ever had before, not after she joined the team and surely not after it fell. Skye didn't know John used to talk about her, but then again why would she? She was also surprised to find Trip was jealous of her, he had no reason to be.
Skye's life with John wasn't peaches and honey. Her few days with Shield have brought back some unpleasant memories, Fitz and Simmons as they begged for their lives, Ward's face when he finally confronted her about who she really was. How disgusted he looked, Coulson and May after John died, how they threatened her with a life of torture if she didn't give them any intel.
Maybe it was always supposed to end like this. Coulson's team picking up the mess playing heroes, John dying leaving Skye all alone in the world with the shadows of a former life, of a family that will never take her back in. The man she loves not loving her back, hating her even and when he finally understood her it was too late. He couldn't ever forgive her for all her sins. Skye can't entirely blame him for it.
When she thinks of Ward she thinks now of how he used her, how his hands on her skin were just to make her drop her guard so he could slip in and give Coulson what he wanted. She would of done the same for John without question, he need only ask. (He actually kind of did.) She's still so angry at Grant she wants to punch him all over again, make him suffer just a little. But then she wonders if maybe she was right all that time ago, maybe they aren't that different.
The Bus stops three more times before Skye finally gets off. It's around midnight and here she is barefoot and tired walking around a small unfamiliar city it's dangerous and stupid but Trip did give her an ICER so she feels a little better. It's a warm summer night wherever she is, once she gets her hands on a phone she'll be fine. The opportunity comes in the form of a drunk college student in the middle of a gas station an hour later.
Skye swipes his phone and wallet as well as a bag of chips and a bottle of water, all going unnoticed and walks out. Pulls up her location and nearly cries in relief she's about fifteen hours away from home. Another couple of bus rides and she'll be back in her apartment with Bucky, her own bed, a hot shower. It turns out to be twenty hours later after traffic, but soon Skye is standing in front of her door relieved.
Like she's just woken up from an awful nightmare. How long was she gone anyway? Felt like weeks. Skye unlocks her door from the key hidden in a plant. Nothing has changed expcept for maybe a few extra pizza boxes on the counter and the cat food bag resting by the couch. Kebo must of been staying here. ''Popeye?'' Nothing the apartment is quiet. At the sound of her voice Bucky comes flying into the living room crashing into her legs.
''Hey buddy! I missed you! Yes mommy missed you so much!'' She pulls the cat into her arms and he immediately curls into her chest, purring loudly as she pets him. ''Were you a good boy for Uncle Kebo? I bet you weren't but that's okay''. She tells Bucky as she cleans up the kitchen a little bit, looks in the fridge for something to eat. There's a new box of pizza which she grabs a slice from and a beer on the lower shelf.
Bucky refuses to leave her so she eats with one hand while he falls asleep in the crook of her arm. ''Skye?''. She jumps slightly when Kebo's voice drifts down the hall, the man himself comes from the bathroom and into the kitchen leaning against the counter. ''You look like crap''. ''Yeah that's what a dark cell will do to you''. A shadow falls over her, her face crumples neither one of them has to say a thing, Kebo just takes her in his arms.
''I should of done something at the club''. He mutters while she's crying into his shirt. ''There was nothing you could do. You'd of been arrested too''. ''Did they hurt you?'' ''No I'm okay. I punched Ward in the face''. Kebo laughs loudly causing Bucky to wake up and jump from Skye's arms to the counter. ''You punched him? Why? Did he bleed?'' Skye wipes her eyes and gets a bottle of scotch from a top cabinet.
''I'm going to need a shower first and then more alcohol for that conversation''. Twenty minutes later Skye is sitting on the couch in her Captain America pajama pants passing the scotch over to Kebo. With the alcohol warm in her veins Skye tells him everything, what Ward did how she was captured and put in Vault D. The mission with Austin Peters what he said, how Trip apologized to her, Bobbi's bizarre kindness and how she and Trip helped her escape.
That Coulson was going to send her off to Ward's brother but somehow he dropped the charges, Trip didn't know why. ''Holy shit''. ''I know''. ''When was the last time you slept?'' Skye runs a hand over her face, ''I can't remember''. Kebo shakes his head cursing Shield and yes even Ward who didn't get her out of Vault D sooner. ''Go to bed it's late, we can deal with everythnig in the morning''.
''Coulson won't stop looking for me Popeye and Hydra''- ''Shut up and go to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning alright?'' Skye yawns loudly and waves Kebo off when he tries to help her to bed. Bucky leaps off the counter and follows her, a few seconds later the bedroom door closes and he hears blankets being pulled back, a shuffling of sheets. Skye blinks against the dark room her head foggy sleep about to pull her under.
She's so tired, her last thoughts are praying that she has a dreamless sleep and then she's out like a light. She doesn't get her wish.
Skye jerks out of bed sweat on her brow breathing hard, her langs tangled up in the sheets tears on her face. She can't really remember the dream just that she was running from someone or something, she had a gun in her hand but couldn't remember how to use it. With shaky legs she walks to the kitchen to get a glass of water, finds the couch empty. Kebo must be out getting alcohol or whatever it is he does when she's not around.
Skye paces the apartment, turns on the TV to calm herself. It was just a dream whatever happened wasn't real, she's safe. For now anyway, right in this very second. But Skye will never truly be safe not when Coulson seems hell bent on locking her up with Ward at his side, not with Hydra out there thinking she killed Whitehall. If both organizations are hunting her she'll have nowhere to turn, how the hell would she survive that?
She walks over to the kitchen and takes that pack of smokes in her hand, weighs the light box in her palm. ''What would you tell me to do if you were here?'' Skye closes her eyes and tries to imagine that John is standing right next to her, his presence used to soothe her so, make all her fears go away. He'd protect her, he wouldn't let Shield nor Hydra have her. But he's no longer here he's dead never coming back, so what will she do?
He'd tell her to get the hell out of the country, go to his base in Cuba and ask for help from some of his old collegues. Lay low until Coulson has other things to worry about then her, then as soon as Phil is distracted hit him with all she's got. But does she really want to do that? Skye doesn't have it in her for another fight, and she has never been a solider. All she really wants is for Shield to leave her alone but that will never happen.
She will probably spend the rest of her life running from them. ''You know sometimes I hate you for leaving''. She tells the pack of cigarettes, imagining that John is in front of her staring at them too. ''I don't know what to do anymore John. I don't want to spend my entire life on the run but I don't think I deserve being locked in a cell either. I just wish you were here, I miss you. Austin was wrong wasn't he? About you.
You weren't really interested in the darkness inside me were you? We never talked about it or my parents. Just that they were dead and to leave it at that, he was lying right? You wouldn't do that to me''. All she recieves is silence. Carefully like they are made of wings she puts the box back down on the windowsill, checks the time on the stove clock. It's six a.m. she only slept for three hours. Whatever the nightmare was she can't find it in herself to go back to sleep.
So she makes a pot of coffee and turns on the news, Bucky comes in a while later and lays in her lap. Skye is dozing off sometime later when a knock on the door brings her back to reality. It can't be Kebo because he has a key, unless he forgot it again. Skye has never seen or spoken to any of her neighbors. She takes the ICER from the couch and stands, just in case. Quietly walks to the door and opens it, her hands sweating.
The last person she ever expected was Grant Ward at her doorstep.
With his smooth face and perfect cheek bones those whiskey eyes that always make her breathless whenever she looks into them for too long. What is he doing here? How did he find her? If he's here to arrest her again Skye isn't sure she'll be able to handle it. She can't go back she won't. ''What are you doing here?'' ''You can put the ICER down Skye I'm not here to hurt you''. ''I don't believe you''. ''I just want to talk''.
She laughs, ''that's what you said last time and I wound up in Vault D again''. She moves to slam the door in his face but his foot catches it. ''Look you have no reason to believe me I know that. But I promise you I'm here of my own free will. Coulson thinks I'm on a mission to bring down a Hydra agent. I don't have a comm I'm not wearing a wire, I'm here Skye for you, just for you I promise''. He never breaks a promise, not with her.
''I don't blame you for not trusting me okay? You shouldn't. But I just wanted to make sure you were okay''. ''No Ward I'm not. I begged you not to put me back in Vault D but you did. You used my feelings for you against me to arrest me, and I bet you didn't even care''. He looks annoyed by this, ''you think I liked doing that? I didn't want to hurt you Skye''. ''That's a far cry from a few months ago when you wanted me to suffer for betraying Shield''.
He shakes his head, ''that was before''. ''Before what?'' ''You said that someday I would understand, it's someday Skye. And that doesn't mean I expect you to forgive me, I wouldn't if I were you. But I just wanted you to know that I'm not here to arrest you, I just wanted you to know that. As long as you stay away from Hydra Coulson will have more things to worry about. I'm sorry Skye, for everything. I really am''.
''Why should I believe you?'' ''I don't expect you to''. He stares at her in that way of his, like he's searching for something he so desperately needs. ''Ward I don't know what you hoped to achieve by''- ''I don't hope for me I hope for you''. She raises an eyebrow, ''what the hell does that mean?'' ''This life you're living Skye I've done it and it's not easy, it's hard it's dangerous. I hope you find peace somewhere, that one day you'll forgive me''.
She presses her hip against the doorway, ''you came to say goodbye''. Ward nods. ''I'm not going to hunt you down anymore, as long as you lay low you should be fine. All I ever do is hurt you now and I can't do it anymore, you've had enough of that in your life and I don't want to add to it''. He takes one step to her on the stair, he's so tall and so close to her she can smell him feel the heat of his skin through her thin shirt.
Memories come back to her of them on the Bus, him wrapping her hands so carefully, teaching her how to use a gun. How he always kept her and the rest of the team safe no matter what. How he kissed her at Providence, how he opened up to her about his family. ''You know John told me to distract you, before I came onto the Bus. He told me to do whatever I had to to throw you off. And I didn't. I couldn't''.
Ward gives her a bittersweet smile, ''yes you did. You may have not done it on purpose but you did''. Skye takes a deep breath before saying, ''I'm still mad at you''. ''I know''. ''But would you like to come inside? To talk. I made coffee''. He seems surprised by this like he thought she'd just slam the door in his face and he'd never see her again. ''Sure''. She moves to let him pass, ignores how he ever so lightly presses against her.
She shuts the front door, locks it and turns back to Ward. Who's taking in his surroundings with expert eyes missing nothing, Bucky creeps around the corner, hisses at him before running back into her bedroom. ''You have a cat''. ''Yeah''. ''Let me guess you named him either Steve or Hawkeye''. Skye chuckles and walks into the kitchen and grabbing a clean mug from the dish washer. ''His name is Bucky''.
Ward just shakes his head fondly, ''of course it is''. She slides the mug over to him after doctoring it the way he likes, she notices his gaze drift over the windowsill. He doesn't comment on the pack of cigarettes and she doesn't either. ''Bobbi said your brother dropped the charges against me''. Grant nods not letting anything show, Skye hates his stupid Specialist mask. ''Why?'' Ward doesn't answer just leans against the kitchen counter and looks at her.
Skye has this sick feeling spreading through her stomach, why would Senator Ward drop the charges out of the blue? He wouldn't change his mind unless someone convinced him not to. ''What did you do?'' Skye asks putting a hand on his arm. To which Ward shrugs off and takes a sip of his coffee. ''Grant what did you do?'' He looks at her his eyes wide with guilt with pain as thoughts of his older brother seem to consume him.
''I talked him out of it''. Skye can't believe what she's hearing. Ward hates his brother and with good reason, the man is a monster. ''You went to see him''. ''Yes''. ''Are you okay?'' This time when she puts her hand on his leather jacket he doesn't push her away. ''I'm fine''. She doesn't believe him, he's a master at masking his emotions but he can't hide the bags under his eyes. Does he have nightmares about his family?
Did seeing Christian trigger him, bringing back those god awful memories of his childhood? ''You did that for me. Why? Why would risk yourself for me?'' He's so close to her now, Skye didn't even notice how she drifted towards him but suddenly her bare foot is brushing against his boot her knee pressing into his. ''I told you about my brother how horrible he is. I thought somehow he knew about you, our history.
That he'd use you against me just to torture me after all these years. You didn't deserve that and Coulson never should of suggested giving you over to him, I wasn't going to let that happen to you''. ''But''- Tenderly he brushes his knuckles against her cheek, she allows the contact. ''My entire life I've never had anyone care about me the way you did. If Christian knew that he would of tried to turn you against me, he would of hurt you.
I couldn't let that happen Skye''. She licks her lips looks deep into his eyes. Still can't figure out why he would ask Christian to forget about her. ''What did you have to do to make him drop the charges?'' He ducks his head, runs a hand over his smooth cheek bones. ''I don't want to talk about it''. ''Did he hurt you?'' Her fingers lightly run along the path of his sleeve as if to comfort him, if he shivers she doesn't notice.
''Ward your brother wouldn't of turned me against you''. ''You don't know him like I do''. ''How could you put yourself in danger like that Grant? I'm not worth it''. His head snaps up from where he was focused on the white tiles of the kitchen, his gaze burning into her. ''Yes you are. Skye not everything that happened with the team was your fault''. She shakes her head, ''you weren't there with John. You don't know anything.
You never answered my question, did he hurt you?'' ''No I'm alright''. She breathes a sigh of relief, wouldn't be able to stand it if his brother hurt him somehow because of her. ''And you trust him to keep his word? What if he tells Coulson what you did?'' ''He won't. Believe me when I tell you that was the last time Christian and I will ever speak again''. Skye closes her eyes briefly before slowly curling her hand into his, he has time to pull away but doesn't.
''Thank you''. ''No need to thank me. It was the right thing to do, you didn't deserve that Skye. And you deserved a better father figure than John Garrett''. She winces, ''please don't''. She can tell he wants to ask her about her life with John but she can't, she's not ready. ''Did you help Bobbi and Trip in my escape?'' Ward takes a sip of coffee before responding, ''All I did was turn my attention away from Vault D for a few minutes''.
Skye smiles, ''thank you''. ''You were right. You begged me not to make you go back in there and I did it anyway. I'm sorry about that''. ''I know you are''. ''And about what happened at the club''- She waves it off, ''I'm still mad at you. But I really don't want to talk about it again. I need time Ward to see if I can forgive you for that. Can you give me that? I understand if you can't''. He gives her one of his rare smiles that warms her chest.
''Yes''. Suddenly his warm hand is back on her cheek and Skye finds herself leaning into his touch. ''I really am sorry Skye. For everything''. Her hand comes to cup his wrist, ''I know you are''. They stand like that for a while time ceases to exist, she loses herself in his eyes like she has on so many other occasions. ''Promise me something''. She mutters her hand stroking the exposed skin of his wrist almost absentmindedly.
''Anything''. Her forehead is resting against his, when did that happen? His breath drifts across her cheek warm and inviting, pulling drawing her in like always has. Back in that hotel room where she thought even if just for a second that they could of become something, picked up where they left off in that storage closet. ''Promise me that this isn't goodbye. Promise that you'll see me again''.
Skye detects sadness in her tone, desperation thick and deep. She should be ashamed but isn't, because Ward is looking at her like she hung the moon. ''If that's what you want''. ''It is''. He smiles again and she does too, her free hand on his chest. And then of course the moment is ruined, the spell broken by the bathroom door swinging open. Had Kebo been in the bathroom all this time? She thought he left.
''Cupcake did we run out of''- Kebo comes into the kitchen frozen on the spot, he's shirtless holding an empty box of body soap. When he sees Ward his eyes widen, ''oh shit''. Skye sees Ward give them both a confused look before anger sweeps through him, in half a second he has Kebo pinned to the nearest wall his hand on his throat. ''Ward!'' ''Oh my god Turbo let me go!'' ''Kebo what the hell are you doing here?''
Skye goes dead still her mouth dropping open. ''Wait you and Kebo know each other?'' ''Skye tell him to let me go''- ''Are you sleeping with her?'' ''Ew! Ward stop it let him go, we're friends''. After a beat Ward let's him go and Kebo dramtically chokes for a moment before eyeing the front door like he wants to make a run for it. ''Oh my god did you really just ask me if I was sleeping with Skye? You big dumb idiot''.
Ward looks in between them a scowl on his face before crossing his arms and glaring at Kebo, Skye does the same. ''You two know each other?'' Skye asks and Ward nods. ''And you two are friends''. Grant says, putting himself between Kebo in the door because the man looks like he's about to sprint off at any second. ''Did you really say ew when Ward asked if we were sleeping together? I'm offended I'm great in''- ''Kebo what the hell is wrong with you?''
''Do you want a list? I can come up with one right now. I drink to much I''- ''Kebo''. Ward's voice snaps the other man to attention. ''Look robot in my defense I really didn't think you would find out like this. Clearly I was interrupting a moment''. Kebo wags his eyebrows at Skye who throws the nearest object at him, which happened to be an orange. ''Ow! You know what you two put me through a lot of shit okay? You deserved this to happen to you''.
''You betraying our trust and lying to us?'' ''Oh get off your horse Ward like you haven't done the same to Skye and she to you''. They exchange a glance and Kebo takes his chance before Ward can stop him, and locks himself in the bathroom. ''You can't run from your problems Popeye!'' ''Why not? You do it all the time!'' ''I do not!'' ''Really Skye? You really want to go there right now?''
Ward listens to them banter back and forth, wonders how in the hell he got into this mess, and just how long Kebo and Skye have been friends.