It's Just Me Myself & I
Here's the thing. Something you need to know, Skye never meant to hurt anyone. It wasn't her intention when all of this started. She had no idea what this would turn into when she first joined Phil Coulson's team. It was supposed to be a simple mission, something Garrett trusted her with and she never let him down before. It was all supposed to be easy, all she had to do was find out how Nick Fury brought Coulson back from the dead.
Because John was dying, her only father figure the only person who ever gave a damn about her, was dying. What was she supposed to do stand around and do nothing while he suffered? Not likely. He took her in off the streets gave her clothes, a roof over her head, food. She owed him everything her life who she is, who he made her to be. Skye was an orphan when they first met, she was fifteen and wide eyed, damaged from all the foster families that didn't want her.
Now she thinks John must have seen something in her face to make him pounce. He sat her down after she tried to steal his wallet, bought her dinner. Offered her a deal she couldn't refuse. In exchange for a home for food and everything in between all she had to do was work her magic with computers. Skye asked him how he knew about her skills and John just smirked in reply, he had been watching her for a while.
So it happened. For ten years she stood by his side as they worked on finding a cure to save his life. Shield failed him, left him to die so they turned to Hydra. It was the better choice, safely hidden in Shield so she could operate more easily. Her and John were never loyal to Hydra it was always a means to an end, all she had to do was save him. The organization meant nothing to her it meant nothing to him. Which is why she doesn't understand why no one else gets that.
Skye had no interest in taking over the world or whatever the hell Hydra had planned. That wasn't her goal, all she wanted to do all she ever wanted to do was save the man who had become her father. Over the years John cared for her, treated her like his daughter. So how could she not want to help him? She loved him, would have done anything for him, she did. Whatever he asked, no questions no judgements anything he asked.
She knows she's responsible for people dying, she isn't stupid. Knows that the missions John asked her to hack into, the locations of safe houses or wherever weren't to politely knock on the door and say hello. Skye tries not to dwell on those, she'll have nightmares about them once in a while. The people who died by John's hands, the ones she gave to him. She's not good, despite what someone told her once.
So when John told her to infiltrate Coulson's team one Tuesday morning, she didn't give it a second thought. ''How do you want me to play this?'' She'd asked him, handed him coffee as he sat next to her. ''Innocent hacker, wrong place at the wrong time. Let Shield take you, offer up Mike Peterson as a sign that you're trustworthy''. Mike was part of the Centipede Program that John started, a cover to distract Shield. He really needed the super solider serum for himself.
Garrett then gave her all the details of Coulson's team. Phil at the head, Melinda May as the pilot (they both knew she wasn't just the pilot) Fitz and Simmons who were kids basically, scientist, not field trained. ''Now this one you want to watch''. Garrett had told her, pointing at a picture of a man with a clean cut face. Skye admired how gorgeous he was, but he also screamed government toolbag and she kind of hated him already.
''That is Grant Ward, he's a Specialist the best of the best. Highest marks since Natasha Romanoff herself so be careful. If you slip up once he'll see through it, man is a machine. More robot than human or so I think''. Garrett chuckled and Skye looked up at him. ''And how do you want me to play him?'' John smirked and she knew what he meant before he ever said the words. ''Distract him, throw Ward off his game. Do whatever you have to do sweetheart''.
So she did. Played Coulson's team like a fiddle, it wasn't easy. Especailly when she started to feel for them, something John warned her about. She can't ever get attached to anyone or anything, it's a weakness. And what do you do with weaknesses? You eliminate them. The team became like a family to her and the lines started to blur. Her and John had no contact going in so she couldn't talk to him about her struggles. Not that she would anyway, he'd see her as weak.
It was so hard, the hardest thing she'd ever done. You couldn't pay her enough to go undercover like that again, she wasn't prepared and maybe John knew that but he sent her in anyway. He also must have known that Skye was going soft, that Ward had gotten under her skin with his warm eyes and soft timid smile. John was also getting desperate, he was also upset that she hadn't been able to give him results quickly.
So in order to motivate her, to push Coulson he had Simmons shot. Long story short not only did it bring Skye closer to the team, to Ward, it gave John his cure. When it started Skye wasn't supposed to develop feelings for Ward, she'd played men before with no problem. All she had to do was flutter her eyelashes, show a little skin and they were putty in her hands. It wasn't like that with Ward, not once did he fall for her act.
He seemed to see the person behind the mask. He saw Skye. The girl who used sarcasam and wit as a defense mechanism, who could hack into anything always. The girl who had no parents who was always searching for a home. Of course he had no idea about Hydra or John and when he found out, god Skye had never felt like that before. How he looked at her like she was a stranger, someone dangerous. A Hydra agent, an enemy.
Skye can still remember the way he kissed her, his mouth warm and soft against her own. She loved him, loves him. And that wasn't supposed to happen. In the end Ward didn't return her feelings, he let Shield take her into custody and John died. After that, everything went black. She lost everything, her father, her family the man she loved. And she can't get that back, probably never will. Shield hates her, Ward hates her.
It wasn't supposed to end like that.
*
Skye gives the woman in front of her a small smile, trying to pay attention to the conversation but failing. All she wants is to buy a few peaches because she found this recipe for cobbler online and she wants to try it. This is her life now. She's been on the run from Shield for six months now and they haven't caught up to her yet. If Skye doesn't want to be found then that's it, she won't be. Coulson only had her in custody for a few weeks before she broke out.
Wasn't hard, all she had to do was get her hands on a cell phone. It was too easy. She basically walked out of their base, luckily Ward wasn't there. If he was there was probably no way she'd of made it out of there. In her few weeks of captivity she only saw Grant once and it didn't go well. They put her in a cell, a white barrier to block her from the outside world, One day it disappeared and there was Ward with his smooth perfect cheek bones and a frown.
Skye tried to convince him that she was only loyal to John, just like she did on the Bus after Providence she swore to him that her feelings for him were real. That they always had been. He didn't believe her. Half of Skye thinks he refused to think she loved him because he didn't think he deserved it. Both he and John briefly told her he'd been abused as a child. That his family was full of sick bastards and Ward left home as soon as he could.
That day in Vault D Grant simply brushed her off, asked her if she had anymore Hydra intel to give them. She didn't, Skye had already given Coulson everything. She told Ward this and his face was a blank mask as he set the barrier once more. Skye hasn't seen him since then. Currently Skye slaps money into the woman's hands and takes the bag of peaches. Pulling the sunglasses tighter against her face shielding her from the burning sun.
She's in a big busy city in Texas. It's easy for her to blend here, so many people so many places to hide in plain sight. Skye has been here for a few weeks now and is thikning of making it a permanent thing. She has a nice town home a few blocks from here, a cat that she found wandering around her yard before she took pity on it and took it in. Doesn't think about the parallels in that situation. She's happy here, if she's capable of that emotion anymore.
Is it stupid? Yes. She can never have a home not while Shield is still hunting her. This is just a bubble she's living in, it's not real. She's supposed to be on the move at all times, wating for the other shoe to drop. But honestly Skye is tired. Tired of living that way tired of the life John ingrained into her for a decade. She just wants to rest, to stop for a moment. And she can do that here, so why not?
Skye crosses the street, avoids the traffic cameras like Ward taught her. Keeps her head down the entire walk to her home. Her front door is light blue and she unlocks it, shuts it and locks it back. Turns and looks down as she feels fur rub against her leg. ''Did you miss me Bucky? Yes you did I know you did''. Skye picks up the solid black cat and curls him to her chest. His big green eyes focus on her before curling into her chest and relaxing instantly.
She walks through the living room which is nothing more than a big sofa and a TV. Toys for Bucky are strewn all over the place, as are her clothes and other various items. Like pizza boxes and energy drinks, a carton of Garrett's favorite cigarettes on the windowsill above the kitchen. Not that he smoked often, she rarely ever saw him do it considering he was dying and all. But she found them in his room after she went back to their apartment when she escaped Shield.
Only two are missing from the box, the rest remain untouched and unspoiled. Skye considered throwing them away but couldn't do it. Besides a few stray pictures that are on the nightstand in her bedroom, it's all she has left of John. She knows now after months of soul searching that John didn't really care about her, well not in the way she cared about him. He saw her as an asset, a weapon, not his daughter. Maybe he did once in the beginning, but towards the end no.
Whereas Skye pretty much worshipped the ground he walked on. And living without him has been hard, no matter how cruel he was he still meant the world to her. Bucky seeming to sense her unease cuddles farther into her chest and she smiles down at him. Places the peaches on the counter and opens up her laptop. Checks Shield, no activity not on her anyway. Checks to make sure all her accounts are secure, that her untraceable hack is still silent.
Does she feel bad hacking into rich corrupted people's bank accounts? Yes and no. Girl has to make a living somehow, and Garrett taught her flawlessly, there's no way she's going to be caught. It's nothing personal. Okay maybe it is once every few months when she takes out a small amount from Senator Christian Ward's account, but otherwise it's what she has to do to survive. This entire game she's playing is dangerous, her life is in danger constantly.
It's not something she likes to think about. ''You hungry buddy?'' Bucky leaps out of her arms and onto the counter. Skye puts the sunglasses next to him and shrugs off the blonde wig she's been sporting the past couple of days. Throws it carelessly onto the floor before turning around and getting a beer from the fridge. Feeds Bucky and rubs his head slowly before going down the hall into her bedroom. It's personal, in fact this entire place is.
Skye has settled here without meaning to. The queen size bed with the tan sheets, the pictures of her and John, her and her cat, she even has one of her and the team on the nightstand also. They took it one afternoon when they stopped for fuel and Fitz insisted. May and Coulson are standing together as ar Fitz and Simmons. Skye is in between Ward and Fitz, Ward's arm across her shoulder. He isn't smiling but she can tell he was happy there, they all were.
It's what she regrets the most, not being responsible for the deaths of countless Shield agents not betraying the team as a whole. No it's runing the life they built the family. She destroyed it, them. Skye misses them and wishes more than anything things didn't turn out the way they did. Sure she'd still save John but maybe she could of done something different. Told Coulson about who she was when she stepped on the Bus, told Ward she loved him sooner.
Skye changes into sweats and a shirt, puts her hair up. She's still not used to the bangs but they're growing on her. Throws herself onto the soft brown couch and turns on the TV. Flips through the news, nothing catches her eye. Nothing Shield or Hydra related. She considered going back to Hydra just for protection, they considered her a loyal agent. But it would have just reminded her of John and the wound of his absecence still throbs.
Bucky hops up next to her and settles in her lap, falls asleep shortly after she starts petting him. It's okay. Right now she's okay, content with her lot. Knows that eventually she'll have to run again, Coulson isn't going to let her get away with what she did. But right now she's content. Right now she's good, and Skye didn't think she'd ever have that feeling again.