Chapter 5
Bucky was in his room laying on his bed. Thinking about how he got friends so easily. Bucky never had friends before, Bucky had always have a hard time trusting people ever since of Tyler.
{ Bucky was 8 years old and had only one friend. Tyler. He was so nice and he didn't care if Bucky couldn't see any colour. He would always say the colours for him. Tyler helped Bucky tell his parents that he was gay. Bucky trusted Tyler, Bucky really thought that Tyler was his best friend. But that shattered.
The boys were making fun of Bucky and Tyler came around and Bucky was relieved. Tyler will make them stop, but instead laughed at Bucky. "What you really thought I want to be friends with you. A person wh can't see colours. You are such a loser." Tyler sneered and Bucky's heart tore into two. That friendship was a lie, all of it. "Maybe you should go kill yourself, nobody is going to miss a freak like you." Tyler finishes and walks off laughing with the other boys.}
Bucky sits up and wiped away his tears. Bucky always tried not to think about that day. When Bucky got home that day, he stayed in his bedroom for 2 weeks without food or water. Bucky's parents really never knew how bad it was until Bucky was 9 years old and crashed. What Bucky means by that is collaspe onto the floor was passed out for a whole week before he woke up in the hospital due to being dehydrated, hunger, and depression.
It still happens. At least 5 times a month, Bucky wakes up feeling depressed and he needs to take pills in order not to crash again. Bucky gets distracted by hs mother knocking on the door. "Hey honey, do you want to talk?" Winifred asks her son. Bucky nods. "Sure." Bucky says and smiles. Winifred closes Bucky's bedroom door and sits down beside Bucky on to his bed. "Are you okay? Looks like something is troubling you?" Winifred asks concerned. Bucky sighs. "Mom, are you disappointed in me for having this disability? " Bucky asks. "No! I love you, you have no idea how proud of you I am." Winifred says shocked that her son asked her that question.
"Mom, hw do you feel around dad?" Bucky asks. Winifred looked at Bucky. Could her son have a crush? "Well, I love him of course, but when he laughs of does something nice for me I get butterflies around me and I blushed a lot around him when I was younger. Why are you asking?" Winifred asks raising an eyebrow. Bucky blushed. "Nothing, just wanted to know." Bucky says trying to sound cool. Winifred could read right through him. "Do you have a crush? On Steve, our nextdoor neighbour?" She asks. "No!" Bucky defends. Winifred sighs. "Sweetheart, iit's okay if you do. Anyway, this boy might just help you." She says and Bucky looks down. "What if he's faking it?" Bucky asks. Winifred was afraid that Bucky was going to say that.
"If so, I will personally kill him myself." Winifred says. Nobody is going to hurt her youngest son like that. If that happens to Bucky, she is not sure if she could save him this time. Bucky nods. "Well, it's time for bed, so goodnight baby." Winifred says. "Goodnight mom." Bucky says. Once Bucky's mother closes his bedroom door, Bucky lays back. What if she is right? Bucky does feel butterflies when Steve laughs and smiles at him. Bucky sighs, man does Bucky wish he wasn't werid. But Bucky was happier than he as in his whole life.
Bucky has friends. True friends, eight of them! Bucky heart swells even more when he thinks of Steve. But who wants to love someone who can't see colour? Bucky sniffles, trying to fight the tears that are threatening to fall over and on to his cheeks. Bucky knew he can trust Steve. It's just that Bucky is not sure if Steve likes guys.
But Bucky knows this and is kind of afraid of it. Bucky was a crush on Steve and Bucky's heart is scared out of it's mind.
Bucky wakes up to his alarm going off. Bucky groans and slams the snooze button on his alarm. Today is Friday, thank god. Tgif (thank god its Friday). Bucky quickly showers, puts on what he thinks is a grey shirt and black jeans? Oh boy, Bucky hopes that it looks good. Bucky eats breakfast than grabs his bag and walks out of the door. But then coming back in to get his phone. "Hey Buck." Steve says. Bucky feels butterflies in his stomach. "Hi." Bucky says. "Nice outfit, the grey shirt fits nicely with those skinny jeans." Steve says and walks ahead. Bucky blushes madly.
Bucky hopes he can make it through school, if Steve is going to make him blush all day.