The Beginning
She never really knew how it happened. She never really wanted to know how it ended. She tried to look away, to never face the darkness of the future again, but she couldn't. She was a slave of the darkness and still took her power from it and with that the fear started spreading inside of her. She always tried to fight her demons and tried to stay on the path of light, but her past and her own self forced her to slip away again and again. But she never would have been The Ancient One, if she wouldn't have been able to hide it. Her name encouraged her to gain all of her power that was hers and let it spread to the very edges of her dark self. She had the power but with every day she got stronger and stronger the more her demons grew as well.They always were there and she knew it. She hated them. She fought them in every possible way, but they never faded. It was at this point that she realised that she had to learn to live with them and stand above them. It was at this point that she built her own dimension. She separated her soul into two selves. She knew how she was meant to be and her sentiment-influenced actions only would hinder her -- at least a great part of it. She managed to build up and keep a facade of who she ought to be with her characteristics that made her stronger, wise and powerful. That was the very self of The Ancient One. The rest got locked away in her 'inner self', which she forced to never get into control of her thoughts and feelings again. No one knew her and that was how it was meant to be, there always was just The Ancient One and she was very good at keeping it that way. That was until Stephen Strange.
The audition started as usual. The one who was broken got in and got lost for a moment in the comfort of hope and honeyed tea. As usual, there was that look of disbelief and doubt. But Stephen Strange got unpredictable soon enough. Way too soon. The only logical thing (as far as logic in Kamar-Taj could go) was to dismiss him or in this case rather to throw him out. This kind of action was not supposed to happen. The Ancient One never got so... rushed when it came to declining the ability of learning in Kamar-Taj, but it was the way of Mr. Strange's very character that made her rasing her chin up a bit too high and showing him the world his eyes couldn't yet see a bit too cruel. Her 'inner self' whispered that it was her own way of showing off, but she dismissed that thought quickly. It was just her strict way of getting people a glimpse of the power that waited for them to explore. It was normal for The Ancient One, so Mordo didn't get suspicious in any way (just a bit worried, but that was just him). Only she knew that it was not normal for her to 'get people a glimpse' after she already had decided that they weren't the right ones.
That was the first reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Stephen Strange out and her inner self slightly starting to panic -- of course just out of confusion.
This man's mind was like that of Kaecilius in too many ways. They were so similar: that arrogance, that disbelief, that egoism, even their choice of words. It was their very behavoir that made their souls unworthy for what was about to come. And still did she allow Kaecilius to be able to gain the power he so desired. And why? Because she saw potential in him and hoped to make him a better person. It was because of her simplicity. She wouldn't let that happen again.
That was the second reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Stephen Strange out.
But there was something else that made her 'inner self' hold its breath: It was his 'being' that resembled her very own self and teased one of her demons to the surface of her facade. It was this ambition, the urge of defending oneselfs strength and desire of having an authority. It was a demon, which could not be held in the prison of her own dimension, but strictly controlled and used in a very rational amount. Well, it took one guy and not even five minutes to loose that control. The Ancient One kept this demon hidden, because it was too dangerous and manipulative to be one of the wise characteristics. It was fascinating, but mostly unsettling that Stephen Strange unconsciously managed to damage her facade in that way. She got out of her control, even if it was just the tiniest bit. The Ancient One couldn't let that happen, it would bear too many consequences.
That was the third and most important reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Steven Strange out.
She thought she would be able to forget his name and the presence of its manipulating feeling leaving in its wake, but fate seemed to have other plans than that. When Mordo told her that Mr. Strange was still waiting outside of their door after a good five hours it got difficult for The Ancient One to suppress an ironic smile. Of course he would not give up. She had half anticipated it, but it still surprised her. She wondered if it was for his selfishness, his brokenness or his pure will and strength to let him linger on the doorway to Kamar-Taj. Was it out of hope or distress? The Ancient One only could guess and that set her in an uneasy mood. She never guessed, also had she analysed Dr. Stephen Strange before that day and was right all along, so what made her hesistate? What did she see in that arrogant and egoistic soul that brought her in this very state and made her overthink all of her actions again?
She had bid Mordo away and let herself recover in the realm of privacy. She didn't have a special position for meditation, she just arranged her body in a way comfortable. She hated looking into the future, so every bit of ease was needed. But as she closed her eyes and let herself float away in the endless stream of golden magic a new surprise awaited her. She couldn't see whether she let him stay in Kamar-Taj or dismissed him forever, there was just darkness awaiting her. At first she thought that something had went wrong, but then two images slowly appeared in front of her 'inner eyes'. The images were blurry, but the more The Ancient One concentrated the more clear they got. Then her expectation got blown away anew. There weren't two possible futures of the ex-neurosurgeon, there just were two faces of his which looked the same at first. Both were a bit different than the man's itself outside, but they also held a 'different Mr. Strange' in their images. The left face was definitly the same age as him ouside, but it looked way older. The expression ought to be neutral, but its stare seemed empty. Her 'inner self' hold her breath and let a prickle like goose-bumps run down her spine. She recognised that look and it made her stomach turn. She quickly concentrated on the right face. It looked the same as the left one, but for the first time she caught silver-blue eyes staring at and somehow through her. The clear arrogance in its features didn't fade away, but its look carried not this old expression but a kind of will that let her 'inner self' inhale sharply. Under this gaze she felt somewhat weak and nervous and resistant and proud at the same time. It was ground-shaking, because The Ancient One didn't know whether one image of Stephen Strange was good and the other bad, wether both faces let to failure or success. What she saw wasn't two different possibilities of the future, it was two choices. But who had to make them? The Ancient One obviously had to do it now, but this challenge would be Dr. Strange's soon enough, where he had to decide with his actions, reactions, feelings, knowledge and hope. It was at this point the she did realise that it didn't matter what she did, Doctor Stephen Strange stayed an important person. The Ancient One just had to help him to stand up to his challenge which was about to come. She snapped her eyes open. There was only one thing to do now.
It was at this moment, that The Ancient One granted the biggest hero of the 21st century the ability to gain the power his soul craved for. It was not out of pity, it was out of uncertainty for what was about to come and interest in the very man, although she had no idea how he was able to captivate it.