Chapter 7
After they had decided to try out a relationship it seemed like Clint just couldn’t get enough of Natasha. She wasn’t sure why he found her so interesting but he was almost always hanging around her café. For some reason, she wasn’t really bothered by it, although she thought maybe she should have been. She had always been…well, not antisocial, but she did prefer her own company to anyone else’s.
Natasha had a lot of bad nights due to nightmares and didn’t often get as much sleep as she should. One night was particularly bad and surprisingly enough she found herself just wanting to see Clint. Her hands had been shaking so bad she knew it was going to be a while before she could make it in to work. Somehow she managed to call Wanda and got her to agree to go ahead and open the shop and keep everything running smoothly until Natasha could get there.
After about an hour long shower and several cups of coffee Natasha was feeling almost like a human again, and when she got to the café it wasn’t really a surprise to see Clint sitting in the booth closest to the door with Lucky on the floor next to him. What surprised her was that the tight ball of anxiety in her chest began to ease as soon as he came into view. His back was to her so he hadn’t spotted her yet and she knew better than to sneak up on someone who would more than likely injure both of them if she startled him.
Dropping down into the seat across from him, she offered him a small, tired smile, hoping he wouldn’t see through it. She really should have known better.
Clint smiled when he saw her, his whole face lighting up. But after a minute or so of him talking and her only offering noncommittal responses or a shake or nod of her head, he seemed to realize something was off. “Tasha, you okay?”
She glanced up, hoping he didn’t notice her wince. “Fine, Clint.”
He gave her such a skeptical look she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She really should take over running the café from Wanda, but that was the last thing she wanted to do right then. “I… Okay, fine, I’m not, but I will be.”
She started to slide out of the booth, but Clint’s hand shot forward and took hold of her wrist. “Tasha, don’t. I can see you’re not.”
She forced herself to smile at him, even though all she really wanted to do was go home and maybe sleep for fifty years. She slid her hand down until she was holding his, squeezing his fingers. “I know. But it can wait. I have to help Wanda.”
Before she could let go of his hand and get up, he leaned over the table and kissed her before he got up and started walking towards Wanda. She was so surprised it took her a minute to register what had happened, and by that time Clint had taken over for Wanda at the register and she was busy getting orders from the few people that were in the café. Natasha blinked slowly, wondering when the hell Clint had decided to tell her what to do and expect her to listen. Better yet, she wondered when she had decided to let him.
It was a few minutes later when the door opened and a familiar couple walked in. The two guys that had figured out they were soulmates the same day she’d found Clint had become regulars in her café. She had spoken to them a handful of times and learned the tall one with the metal arm was Bucky, and the other who looked like a strong breeze would knock him over was Steve. She didn’t know much about them, but they seemed nice enough. The fact that Bucky also spoke Russian was something that they had smiled about once they discovered it.
Glancing down at her arm, she wasn’t all that surprised to see a few more doodles marking her skin. This time it was a dog chasing a ball on the inside of her wrist and she had to admit it was pretty cute. She still didn’t know who the artist behind the drawings were, because it sure as hell wasn’t Clint, but she wasn’t really in any rush to find out.
Bucky stopped next to her booth, looking more than a little surprised to see her sitting down and not doing anything for once. She rolled her eyes at his expression and gestured to the other side of the booth. “C’mon, Barnes, join me in laziness.”
He laughed, but complied, watching as Steve intercepted Wanda and pulled her into a hug.
Natasha nudged his foot with her own. “You guys look happy.”
He looked back over at her, all smiles. She had to admit it was a good look on him. “We are. It’s…nice, to find someone who doesn’t mind all the shit I’ve been through.”
Finding herself glancing over at Clint, Natasha couldn’t help but agree. She didn’t know much about what had happened to Bucky, but she knew it was enough for him to keep everyone at arm’s length. Surprisingly, that didn’t seem to apply to her. She wasn’t sure why, but she just felt comfortable talking to him, in a way she hadn’t felt with many people.
He followed her gaze before giving her a knowing smile. “He’s good for you, I think.”
Rolling her eyes, she gave him a pointed look. “Don’t drag me into your sappy shit, Barnes.”
He just smirked at her until she smacked his arm and they both burst out into laughter. It wasn’t until they were both breathless and smiling she realized her hand was still on his arm. “Oh, sorry,” She murmured as she pulled her hand back, hoping he wasn’t offended. She was sensitive to touch and she didn’t even have a prosthetic as an excuse for it.
Instead, he smiled. “No, it’s okay. Doesn’t really bother me if it’s you or Steve.”
“Careful, Barnes,” Natasha said with a smirk. “I might start to think you like me.”
“I don’t know, Romanov. I think you might be growing on me.” He leaned in conspiratorially, eyes twinkling with amusement. “You didn’t hear this from me, but I’m pretty sure Stevie just comes here for the cute redhead who owns this place.”
Leaning back in her seat, Natasha snorted loudly and rolled her eyes at him. “He’s your boyfriend, not mine.”
Bucky just laughed before he settled back into his side of the booth. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, both of them content to let it stretch on. Leaning against the wall, she was half asleep when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Normally that wouldn’t have been a problem, but she was already keyed up from the nightmares from the night before and tense from being around so many people, even if she did like most of them.
Instead of reacting like a normal person and just shoving whoever it was off, she reacted much more violently, tackling them to the floor and putting a knife she’d grabbed off the table to their throat. It took her longer than it should have and Bucky speaking to her in a low, calm voice for her to back off and release Steve.
Her voice was shaky when she was finally able to look up at Steve. “I am so sorry, I didn’t –”
Before she could finish her sentence, Bucky was pulling her into a tight hug. “He’s not hurt, Natasha. You’re okay.”
At first she couldn’t comprehend the words, unable to understand why Bucky would be reassuring her that she was okay, and not Steve. She wasn’t okay and he had to know that. The look in his eyes the split second before the hug told her that he knew exactly what she was dealing with. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
Without meaning to she wrapped her fingers around his and squeezed, maybe a little too tight. It was a reassurance that she was there, in that moment, more than anything else.
Natasha didn't know how long they sat there in silence, just listening to each other breathe. There was too much, all at once. She should have just stayed home, asked Wanda to take over for the day. It was a nice thought, but she knew she never would have.
“Are you alright?” Bucky asked softly, eyes kind, almost like he understood what she was going through.
“I… Yeah, I think so.”
She shakily got to her feet, Bucky right next to her. Without the warm hand on her shoulder keeping her steady she probably would have fallen right back to the floor. She appreciated his support, and even though she didn't understand why he was giving it to her, it was enough to keep her from slipping into her nightmares.
Natasha expected to find everyone staring at her, but instead it seemed they were all respectfully giving her privacy. It was...surprisingly nice.
Wanda was speaking quietly to a man with dark hair and a goatee that Natasha was pretty sure she should know, but couldn't place his name while it looked like Clint was wrangling Pietro and Steve into helping with the other customers.
Bucky smiled at her, not unkindly, as he steered her towards the bathroom. She didn't think she had said anything, but that was exactly where she had wanted to go. She didn't want Bucky to leave but she also needed to get away from everyone else for a minute.
Bucky tried to stand outside, presumably to give her a moment to herself, but she dragged him into the room with her. He leaned against the closed door, watching as she paced the length of the room. There was no judgement in his gaze, but there was something...familiar about the way he looked at her.
Natasha had to keep moving for several long minutes until she was calm enough to speak to anyone and was sure she had stopped shaking. Bucky was doing something on his phone, so focused he didn't even spare her a glance as she leaned against his arm. Somehow, she wasn't surprised to find he was playing candy crush.
It took him a few minutes to finish his level, but when he did he just started another and offered her the phone. She smiled and took it, feeling at ease with him watching as she played through that level and another one after it. She wasn't sure what they were doing, not really, but she felt more in control than she had woken up. It was nice in a way she wasn't used to and a little voice in the back of her head told her not to trust.
She told that voice to shut the hell up.
Hiding in a bathroom and playing games on a borrowed cell phone wasn't the best coping mechanism, but there far worse ways to spend her afternoon. When she glanced over at Bucky during a lapse in levels, his smile, bright and kind, left her feeling like maybe everything was okay after all.
She cared about Clint, more than she probably should, but she had a feeling he was there to stay, even after her episode. She wasn't okay and still wasn't sure about the whole multiple soulmates thing, but it might not be the end of the world.