A Talk
It as a few hours later, and Bucky and Steve were sitting on the couch in the living room. They were sharing the cronuts that Steve brought and freshly brewed coffee from the beans that Steve magically took out of his magic holster. The coffee tasted great. It was like drinking the nectar of the gods. Bucky liked his coffee, but he had never imagined that it could taste quite like that. And he suspected that the coffee beans that Steve used also had some sort of magic in it.
After they were both full, Bucky looked at Steve with an expectant expression. They were seated beside each other, so Bucky turned sideways, crossed his legs on the couch while facing the blond. Steve also turned sideways to face Bucky, His right leg was on the couch, his right foot tucked under the back of his left knee. Steve reached out and held both of Bucky’s hands in his own.
“As much as I appreciate what we did earlier, I’m still a little bit angry about what you did. So you better start explaining yourself.” Bucky did not mention the fact that he was also hurt by Steve’s absence and lack of communication these past few months. Sometimes, he would think that Steve had woken up and realized that Bucky was not worth all the trouble, that Bucky was just a regular guy and that they didn’t fit each other. But there were also days when he believed in Steve, believed in the promise in Steve’s words from that night in the hotel room.
Whatever Bucky was not saying, Steve must have heard, because the blond let go of one of his hands and cupped the side of Bucky’s face. The blond’s little and ring fingers went under Bucky’s ear as the blond’s fingers went into his long, brown hair.
There was a contrite and apologetic expression on Steve’s face, and Bucky could not find it in him to hold on to his anger at being abandoned for a few months. Yes, Steve was incommunicado for a while, but he was here now. To Bucky, that was all that mattered.
“You have to know, Buck. I didn’t want to leave you alone like that. If I could, I would have gone to see you before now, but things happened--important things--and I just couldn’t get to you sooner,” Steve said. His blue eyes had an imploring expression as he looked straight into Bucky’s blue-gray ones.
Bucky bit his lower lip, just staring at Steve’s face--his blue eyes, straight nose, and his full, red lips--and he looked down to their joined hands. He thought about what Steve’s words could mean and the knowledge that the blond was there to give him answers.
Behind it all, he felt relieved to see Steve again. He knew the kind of battles and dangers the blond encountered and he just did not want to imagine that Steve’s absence was due to an injury. So, for now, he had to take what he can get. Whatever Steve had to say, he was going to listen and he was definitely going to ask questions later.
Bucky looked back up at Steve and slowly nodded. The blond leaned forward and kissed his brow. When Steve leaned back, there was a gentle smile on his lips, and Bucky could not help but smile back at him.
After a few beats, Steve took a deep breath and held both of Bucky’s hands again. Bucky readied himself for whatever Steve was going to say.
“Okay, so I guess I should start from the beginning.” Bucky looked straight into Steve’s blue eyes and nodded. Steve gave his hands a little squeeze. “Ten years ago, when I was seventeen, I was dying alone in a hospital here in Brooklyn. I was ninety pounds soaking wet and just a little over five feet. I had a body that was killing me even before I got into an accident that brought me to the hospital.”
Bucky gasped, unable to imagine a young, frail, teenage Steve bedridden in a hospital. His heart clenched as if a cold hand had gripped it. The only consolation that he had for himself was that Steve was sitting in front of him right now--healthy and strong.
Steve gave him a knowing look. “You won’t know it just by looking at me now, but I didn’t always look like this. I wasn’t always this big or this strong or not dying with just a stiff breeze.”
When Bucky finally found his voice, he opened his mouth the speak. “What happened then?”
“The Queen happened.” Steve had a grateful--even reverent--smile on his lips, he had a faraway look in his eyes for a while as he recalled his past.
Bucky could not help but feel a tiny tinge of jealousy, but he curbed that feeling down. He knew that he should be grateful for Steve’s Queen--whoever she was--because she was the reason why Steve could be with Bucky like this right now.
When the blond looked back to Bucky’s face again, he his features were gentler, the tips of his lips were curving up to form a smile.
“The Queen gave me a chance to live again, to have a better life, to have a healthier body. She not only gave me my life back, but she gave me a home, family, and friends. She chose me to be her knight in return for everything that she gave me. And in a way, she also gave me you.”
Any shred of jealousy that Bucky felt for the Queen instantly vanished because of Steve’s words and the look of pure affection that he showered Bucky. It was as if Steve could not believe how he got so lucky in life. Bucky felt like his chest was expanding, wanting to envelope Steve’s entire being to keep him safe within him. He wanted to lean forward and give Steve a kiss, but held himself because he knew that Steve had more to say. But later, after their conversation, he would kiss Steve. A lot.
“You have seen the things that I could do. You have seen me fight. That was all for Her Majesty’s sake. I had to leave you for a while to fulfill my duty. For the first time in my lonely existence, I was given the chance to live for something, to mean something to someone. I traded a normal existence for the path to immortality. I ran straight towards hardship and danger, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Serving Her Majesty is my purpose in life. And now, because of her, I also have you.”
Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but words became elusive for him again. So, he closed his mouth. He and Steve looked at each other for a while, the blond letting him digest his words. Steve gave his hands a firm squeeze.
“Buck, I need you to listen to me.”
Bucky snapped on attention when he realized that Steve’s tone had become more serious. He suddenly felt nervous of what was to come, since Steve only got serious when he had important things to say. He gulped down his nervousness as he waited for what Steve was going to say.
Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked like he was coming to terms with something within him. He slowly opened his eyes and gave Bucky an imploring but resolute look that made Bucky’s chest go tight. The brunet waited with baited breath.
“This is against everything that I want, but I need you to know that you can still say no. I know I said that you’re mine, but I will still let you go if you want to back out. But I’m only giving you this one chance. Just this once. After this, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, you will always be tied to me--body and soul,” Steve said, his voice going an octave lower.
Bucky bit his lower lip. He felt a momentary sense of panic because of Steve’s words. But the moment he heard Steve say that he will be tied to Steve--body and soul--he felt an incredible warmth spread inside him. He felt reassured. He found that he liked the idea of being tied to Steve.
He had noticed before that Steve always tried to hold himself back, to give Bucky a way out, making sure that Bucky wanted the same things that he did before diving in himself. Bucky appreciated Steve for that. And he was even more thankful that Steve was honest enough to let him know that he had a choice. But Bucky had already made his choice three months ago, and he was not going back.
Bucky flipped their hands so that he was the one who has holding onto Steve’s hands. He raised both of their hands up to his lips and kissed each of Steve’s knuckles, not taking his eyes off of the blond.
“I am yours, Steve. That’s never going to change,” he said. His tone was more resolute, more sure than he had ever been. He lowered their hands to his knees.
Steve’s blue eyes twinkled but his expression still maintained its seriousness. “Thank you, Buck. But I need to you hear everything first before anything else.”
“Then say it. Tell me,” he said.
“I am a cultivator of the immortal path. You may have noticed, but the common world--your people--do not know about us. That has always been the way things are. The most powerful of us can be considered gods among men, even just the common cultivators are already powerful than average humans, and that was why the Great Ruler has separated the immortal cultivators from the mortals since the very beginning.”
“What does that have to do with us?” The moment that Bucky asked the question, he realized that the fact that Steve was an immortal cultivator and he wasn’t was an important factor in their relationship.
He bit his lower lip and looked down to their joined hands. He felt a sting in his chest when he realized that he could never bridge such a large gap between them. So, what right did he have to want Steve? He didn’t have much to offer the blond, only himself.
“Look at me, Buck.” Bucky looked up and met Steve’s bright, blue eyes. The blond gave him a soft smile and that made Bucky feel a bit better. “I can guide you on the same path, Buck. There is a way for us to be together forever. But you need to sacrifice everything. You might also be in danger and maybe lose your life because of me.”
Bucky only heard ‘together forever’. The rest of Steve’s words went right past his ears as he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and kissed the blond. He could not help it. Just hearing those words made his feel like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt light with the knowledge that Steve wanted to be with him forever. Steve never said words in jest so he knew that everything that Steve told Bucky was sincere.
“God, I love you,” Bucky could not help but blurt out after their lips separated.
They both had stunned expressions on their faces. Bucky gaped like a blubbering fish, unable to take back the words. A deep, red blush spread from his cheeks and down to his neck.
He had only met Steve for a few times and did not spend that long a time with him. But he still felt that he had known Steve forever, and that he would always chose a life where he had met Steve than not at all. After a beat, relief washed over him. He really did love Steve. And now, the words were out there, and he felt no regret saying them. He was just surprised that he had not realized it sooner.
Steve’s stunned expression morphed into a bright, awed one, his smile reaching his blue, twinkling eyes. The blond leaned forward and gave Bucky a deep, passionate kiss. His silken tongue tracing Bucky’s lips. Steve’s hands were on Bucky’s hips, pulling him closer. In a beat, Bucky was straddling Steve’s thighs. They were chest to chest, their hips grounded together.
The brunet willingly opened his mouth to meet Steve’s tongue, feeling his body melting a little at the contact. He closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure as Steve plundered his mouth. Bucky’s lips felt swollen when Steve finally released his lips. He slowly opened his eyes and found warmth within Steve’s baby blue’s.
“I love you, too, Buck. I think you had me at first sight,” Steve murmured against his lips, giving him a quick peck on the lips afterwards. He could see the blush tinging Steve’s wonderful cheekbones.
Bucky felt his heart soar after hearing Steve’s confession of love. He just could not believe that the hot, badass, immortal Steve Rogers was in love with him. And he said he that Bucky had him at first sight! He felt like swooning. He tried to kiss Steve again but he could not help the laughter that bubbled out of his lips, hindering their kiss.
One of Steve’s hands moved up and down Bucky’s back as Steve leaned back to stare at Bucky’s laughing face with a happy smile in his eyes.
“What’s so funny?” Steve asked with a bemused expression. His other hand went up to Bucky’s face. His thumb and index finger held Bucky’s chin, his thumb slowly stroking the edge of Bucky’s kiss-swollen bottom lip.
When Bucky finally recovered. The side of his lips quirked a little. His hands cupped the side of Steve’s face and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching.
“After I met you on that elevator, I just couldn’t get you out of my mind. And now I know why.”
“Why?” Steve nosed against the side of his cheek, behind his ear and down to the crook of his neck, planting a kiss there. Bucky arched his neck to give the blond more access as he clutched at Steve’s short hair.
“Because you also had me at first sight.” Bucky’s breath hitched when Steve kissed a hickey against his pulse point. Steve peppered small kisses up his jawline and finally met Bucky’s red lips in a deep, wet kiss.
They were both panting after the kiss. Slowly, Steve separated Bucky’s hand from his hair and lowered them. Bucky was still straddling Steve but their torsos were now no longer touching.
Bucky was a bit confused at first because things were already getting heated earlier. But Steve’s expression once again morphed into a serious one.
“You really need to stop distracting me like this,” Steve said in a mock scolding tone.
Bucky smirked when he saw the quirk in Steve’s lips. “I’m glad you find me distracting.”
Steve briefly kissed him on the tip of his nose. “Of course, my baby is distracting.” Bucky felt warmth pool in his stomach at hearing Steve call him ‘his baby’. “But there’s still something you need to know.”
“So tell me,” Bucky said without hesitation. He really wanted to get everything out of the way so that he could continue kissing Steve and returning the favor of giving him an orgasm--or multiple orgasms--for earlier.
An apologetic and even guilty expression crossed Steve’s eyes but immediately disappeared. “I’m sorry, Buck.”
The warmth in Bucky’s stomach turned into a cold stone. “What? Why?”
“Buck, if you come with me, you have to quit being an actor. I know you love to act. You told me it makes you happy. So, I’m telling you all of this now before our binding ceremony. You can only work on your current contracts. If you can get out of them, that would be even better. The faster you transition from this life to our’s, the better. I will help you with whatever you need to do before we start our life together. I don’t want to get married, to bind you to me, to my way of life, if that’s not what you want. But if you...”
Steve could not finish his words because Bucky grabbed the sides of his face again and sealed his lips with a kiss that was more passionate that the last.
How can he let Steve be apologetic or guilty about this? Bucky never felt happier in his life. He was happier at hearing Steve talking about marriage and starting their lives together than the first time that he signed his very first big movie contract or when he received awards for his acting.
It was true that acting made him happy. It was his outlet to unload his stress. He also found it enjoyable to be the reason to make people laugh or cry. But being with Steve overshadowed all of that. The actor Bucky Barnes was just one aspect of him, it was not everything. But all of his being wanted to be with Steve. To be bound to him mind and body and soul forever, he wanted everything that Steve had promised. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity that would never come again. He could not live without Steve, not anymore, but the movie industry would still exist without him. It was not a difficult decision to make.
“Buck?” Steve searched Bucky’s face but found that the brunet was grinning brightly and adoringly at him.
“So, where’s my ring?” he said in a very serious tone. He raised his left hand between their faces, palm facing him. He wiggled his left ring finger in front of Steve.
Steve threw his head back and exposed his strong neck, as he laughed. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, too.
Bucky looked at Steve’s laughing face and felt his chest expand once more. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and buried his face in the crook of Steve’s neck. Steve was still laughing as he buried his own face on Bucky’s dark hair.
“You’re such a dork,” Steve said, kissing Bucky’s temple.
“Shut up, punk,” Bucky muttered against Steve’s neck, hiding the blush that was all over his face.
Steve’s arms went around Bucky’s waist and held him tight. “But you’re my dork.”
“And don’t you forget it,” he muttered again. He bit the blond’s neck in mock retaliation and also as a warning. He tried to bite as hard as he did the last time, but he found that he could not even make a dent on Steve’s skin. It was like biting on steel.
He moved his face away from Steve’s neck and studied the spot where he just bit for a few seconds. His brows were furrowed in wonder. He leaned down and bit harder at Steve’s neck again but nothing happened. It still felt like he was biting soft flesh, but still could not leave a single mark. Looking closely at Steve, Bucky even realized that Steve’s skin was much fairer, smoother, and more supple than the last time that they met.
“Hey, hey. Don’t get me excited when I’m trying to be focused here,” Steve said but did not do much else to stop Bucky.
“What’s your skin made of? Elastic metal?” he asked, a bit disgruntled at failing to leave a mark on Steve.
He leaned down again, kissed and sucked at Steve’s neck to try and leave a hickey. But when he leaned back to inspect his work, he pouted when he found that there was no mark.
Steve threw his head back and laughed again.
Bucky’s hold onto Steve tightened as be became fascinated in Steve’s beautiful, laughing face. He wasn’t just imagining it, but Steve had indeed become more attractive since the last time that they met. His blond hair was much brighter, silkier and softer despite the short length.
“Stevie, you’ve become so pretty,” he said in a teasing but sincerely adoring tone.
That made Steve stop laughing. He pressed a kiss against Bucky’s still pouting lips and they both smiled into the kiss.
“But you’re still prettier, Buck,” Steve teased back,
Bucky huffed in mock annoyance. “No, you’re prettier.”
“No, Buck. You are the prettiest. The prettiest jerk in the whole world,” Steve said with a smile against his lips. Bucky gasped when one of Steve’s hands went inside the front of Bucky’s shirt and found his nipple. He gave it a brief pinch. “The prettiest.”
“Okay, I’ll agree that I’m the prettiest only if you continue what you were doing.” His breath hitched as Steve pinched and rolled his nipple even before he finished his sentence.
The blond had a knowing smirk on his lips. His other hand went under Bucky’s waistband and cupped one of Bucky’s ass cheeks through his underwear.
“So pretty,” Steve muttered against Bucky’s jaw.
“Punk,” Bucky muttered under his breath before attacking Steve’s lips to shut him up.