A Christmas Tradition
Tony glanced around the Pack room to make sure that everyone was settled down and happy. It was Christmas morning; people would be coming by this afternoon – Pepper, Rhodey and other non-Pack friends to share in the holiday party the Omega had planned. But this morning was just for Pack. Breakfast was sitting on the side counter, large platters of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, as well as a waffle iron with batter in a pitcher. Of course, all the fixings were also on the counter – as Thor would say, a worthy feast for the appetites of superheroes (Omega Brain giggled at the Thor impression and then sighed happily at the thought of the god’s biceps and the thought of being fed). The gifts were still tucked under the tree. Tony had handed everyone special gifts last night with clear instructions that they were to be worn this morning. He had also decreed that there would be breakfast and then present opening, and that he was in charge of entertainment for the breakfast.
As he looked around, smirking, he saw that everyone had obeyed his instructions (cue Omega Brain preening at this evidence of its superiority). The presents last night had been sleep pants and t-shirts carefully chosen for each of the Pack both for comfort and to maximize amusement. Thor was lounging on one of the couches, proudly wearing his sleep pants with little hammers scattered over them and his t-shirt which proudly proclaimed “Why Yes, I Am a God Among Men” in black letters on the gold background. Clint was settled against his chest in green Robin Hood sleep pants and a green shirt that said, “Wasn’t Me.” Agent was as relaxed as Tony had ever seen him, his legs propped on a coffee table in their red pants with little pens and forms scattered across and a blue shirt that said “I Would Kill You, But the Paperwork Is Horrible.” Natasha was sitting, leaning into him, her pink Hello Kitty pants working perfectly with her pink top that said, “I Like You Best – I’ll Kill You Last.” Sam, on the other hand, was collapsed on the floor, still flushed from laughing at Steve who had blue pants with pie slices on it and the dark blue t-shirt that proudly stated, “Screw Truth, Justice, and the American Way – I’m Just Here for the Pie.” Tony could still see Sam’s purple pants with little yellow canaries on it. He couldn’t see the lettering on the shirt, but he knew it said, “I’m a Counselor, Because Badass Isn’t a Job Title.”
“Tony,” Bruce had come up behind him wearing his purple fleece Hulk pants (because how could Tony resist?) and a matching t-shirt that said, “I Haven’t Killed Anyone Today But I Would Be OK Starting With You” “what are you planning?”
“Ah-ah-ah! Don’t be impatient. Everyone get some food and settle down and we can start the entertainment. Once we finish eating, we can start on the presents!” The Omega settled himself in the middle of the room where the majority of the Pack could easily reach him. He didn’t bother with a plate, assuming (correctly as it turned out) that everyone else would add food for him to their plates, pleasing both the Omega and Omega Brain. He admired his elegant red pants with little Ironmans on it (because duh!) and the matching gold t-shirt that blared out in red letters, “Easily Distracted By Shiny Objects.”
Once everyone was settled, Tony called out, “Start it, J!” A large screen came down from the ceiling, as the AI blacked the windows and lowered the lights. Ominous music began to play as the screen slowly lighted up to reveal Fury sneaking into the Tower. The music continued, building an atmosphere of suspense, as Fury snuck through the business levels, dark and deserted after hours. The Pack realized that this must be surveillance footage that Tony had spliced together. On the screen, Fury reached the Pack quarters and entered into the common living area. The spy had reached the kitchen when something erupted in front of him. The whirlwind resolved itself into Tony and the two began to grapple. The music reached a crescendo as the Omega started to bang the spy’s head into the counter top and the Pack cheered. Then there was a change in the scene and Phil appeared in frame (“Go Coulson” yelled Clint from the floor), the music switched to a refrain from Bugs Bunny. Sam muttered to Steve that Tony had done a great job of editing the different cameras together. Everyone started laughing when Coulson calmly tasered his former boss and calmed the Omega with an offering of ice cream (Natasha lifted her eyebrow at Phil and he nodded, promising her another pint of salted caramel gelato). When the film ended, everyone cheered and clapped. It was the beginning of a cherished Avengers Pack tradition.