Chapter 22
“Erik, I-” Charles stopped. He didn’t know what to say. Overall he was shocked by the request. While he agreed with Erik that they would probably make it in the long haul, he didn’t want to rush this and ruin what might have been something wonderful.
On one hand he immediately wanted to say YES! He knew that even if he and Erik broke up at some point, he would want his precious Nina safe from the mental and emotional abuse that awaited her in her maternal grandparents care.
He would never forgive himself if they gained unrestricted access to her-something that was apparently an option if supervised visitation went well for a certain period of time.
On the other hand he immediately wanted to say NO! How could Erik even think to ask? Charles wanted to be married for love, not convenience. He craved a husband who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, not one who simply needed him to avoid legal hardship.
He turned away from his boyfriend and began wiping down the counters with blind eyes. Mind a jumble of 'what if’s' and possible futures.
He thought back to something Raven had asked on their spa day. “So, if he wasn’t a single father he’d ask you to elope. And what would your answer be?” She’d asked with a quirked eyebrow.
“If there was no Nina?” Charles asked, feeling an odd ache in his chest at simply saying that out loud.
“Yeah, would you take him up on it?”
He’d laughed her off and called her nosy, distracting her by pointing out a pair of shoes that would go perfectly with the dress she’d chosen. But that night, as he lay in bed, her words had haunted him.
In another world, would he and Erik have run off together long ago? He feared the answer was yes, he’d been head over heels for the other man from shortly after their first meeting. And now he was hopelessly in love.
“I’m sorry, Charles,” Erik said softly from across the kitchen island. His low voice pulled him out of his daydream and back to the present moment.
He turned to face him with a slight frown, toying with the dishtowel he still held in his hands. He met Erik’s eyes, falling into the concern echoed there.
“I should never have said anything. It’s too soon. I know that. I just felt like I had to try everything. For so many reasons I wish I’d met you sooner. But then again, I never felt ready to date again until the day you saved Nina,” he admitted softly.
Charles stepped up to the island and grasped Erik’s hand atop the cool marble, “I’m glad you asked. I-I’m honored that you even thought of it. You want to marry me and have me adopt your child,” he said softly. “That’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. And I wish I could say yes, I really do.” He hesitated and looked down at their clasped hands before continuing gently, “Ironically, if not for Nina I would say yes,” he gave a watery chuckle, finally admitting that much to himself.
Erik smiled and gently squeezed his hand, “That’s why I asked. I know that you’ll never do anything to hurt her. You put her needs first so naturally, I-” he broke off and cleared his throat. “Thank you. For this week, for today, for even considering my insane request. I can’t thank you enough.”
Charles met his eyes, not surprised to see his boyfriend misting up as well, “you’re welcome. I love you, both of you. And I want to do everything in my power to help you through this, through everything,” he sighed. “I just want stability for you and Nina. You deserve that after everything you’ve been through. When we get to that point in our relationship I want it to be for good. Forever, no doubts on either side.”
“I want that too, I’d hate to wonder if you’d only married me and stuck around because you felt obliged,” Erik admitted, tugging Charles’ hand until he came around the island and stepped into his arms.
Charles chuckled, not having thought if it from that perspective. He quickly explained his matching thought process to his confused boyfriend.
“Ahh, great minds think alike,” he pulled Charles close and just held him for a long while.
“Erik?”
“Yes, love?”
“I-I’m not saying no,” he confessed shyly. “I know this is all moving very fast, but from what you’ve told me we have a good case without being married of me being Nina’s-adopting Nina,” he came short of being able to call himself a dad.
Erik hid a smile at the way he shied away from the word, “Okay. Let me know,” he said simply.
Charles leaned back in his embrace and arched him a look, “really? That’s it?”
“Yes,” Erik smiled. “I told you it was a request and I meant it. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish we could go get married today and file adoption paperwork tomorrow, but I’ve wanted that for some time. I can wait until you’re ready.”
~I don’t think it’ll take long~ Charles said silently, quietly pleased that Erik’s mind was already on forever, even before this came to light. “If the trial goes badly can we file an appeal?” has asked, worried.
“Yes, of course we can,” Erik slid his hands up and down his back soothingly. “Even if they get visitation, we can move to Timbuktu and they’d have to find a way to get there and claim their time every month. We’ll figure something out,” he assured the other man. Not wanting him to get lost in worry or blame himself if they lost the trial.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Alright,” he stretched up and pressed a kiss to his mouth, letting the slight pressure linger and deepen until they were lost in each other’s arms. He’d just slipped his arms around Erik’s narrow waist and leaned into him when an idea struck. And he pulled back suddenly. “You mentioned a child advocate?”
Erik blinked in surprise at the subject change, “Ah, yes? Yes. They do home checks and interview the child in question and make a judgment about what’s best for them.”
“And they’re court appointed?”
“Yes,” Erik’s eyes widened as he caught on to what his boyfriend was suggesting. “You think we should ask for one to be assigned to our case?”
“Yes! I mean, think about it! With the therapist and a child advocate saying the same things, we’d be sure to win.”
Erik hesitated, “They’d likely still want to interview you.”
“That’s alright, I’m told I’m quite charming,” he smiled and wrinkled his nose when Erik leaned in for another kiss.
“Well, I like it. We’ll see what Ororo thinks. I know it can be difficult to get an advocate assigned to a non adoption case, but hopefully with our background she can make something happen.” He hesitated again and Charles gave him a questioning frown. “We’d need to child proof your house, get it CPS ready.”
“Well, I’m free this weekend if you’d like to make a project of it,” Charles said gamely.
Erik struggled with the impulse to drop to one knee and beg Charles to reconsider and run away with him immediately. They could elope, with Nina as their witness he could have it done in an hour.
“Erik?”
“Sounds good,” he blushed, hoping his thoughts weren’t written on his face for all to see.
“Papa!” Nina bounced into the room, coughing.
“Cover your mouth,” he said, trying not to grimace as she pounced at them asking if it was time for pie.
Charles pulled out of his arms and wet a napkin to wipe her nose which was beginning to run again. She blew her nose into it and handed it back to him without a thought.
Charles chuckled and took it back from her with a small pat on her head. Erik grimaced at her lack of concern for spreading germs.
“Yes, let’s all have some pie,” Charles smiled and went to wash his hands. Erik followed, lifting Nina up to the sink to do the same.
"Finally!” Nina said, sounding like they'd been putting her off for years, Erik pressed a kiss to her silky hair, charmed by her in spite of himself.
“What kind of pie do you want?” Charles asked them as he unwrapped the pastries.
“I’ll have apple,” said Erik.
“Pumpkin!!” Nina cheered.
“Hmm, I might have a slice of each,” Charles laughed.
Erik shrugged, “Go for it.” After all, it was Thanksgiving and Charles deserved the best of all things.