Chapter 10
Erik was trying not to panic. He took a deep breath and sat a plate of his fanciest breakfast-toaster strudel- in front of Nina. She gave him a cheery grin in response and tucked into her breakfast, humming happily at the sugar rush.
He took a deep swig of his coffee and forged ahead in conversation. He’d planned what he wanted to say while he was showering and Nina was picking her clothes for the day. Now they were both dressed and ready to go and it was past time for explanations.
He cleared his throat, causing Nina to give him a quizzical look. “About this morning,” he began steadily.
She sat back with a little frown at his words and picked at her pastry nervously. Erik frowned at her reaction, “What’s wrong, sweetheart.”
Nina shrugged and mumbled to her plate, “IwasscaredIcouldn’tfindyou.”
It took him a moment to put together what she’d said and he immediately felt awful for scaring her. He got out of his seat and knelt down next to her to speak at her level. “I’m sorry I scared you, sweetheart. I promise I won’t ever leave without telling you where I am. Okay?”
She gave him a small smile and nodded, “I know.”
“Besides, you know what to do if you’re alone or can’t find me?”
“Call grandma and grandpa to come get me.” She parroted calmly.
“Good job, do you remember their numbers?”
She took her time repeating them slowly to make sure they were all in the right order. Erik was so proud he felt like his heart would burst, “Excellent. You’re so smart, Nina. Just like your mama.”
She blushed and gave him a bright smile at that, she loved being compared to her mother, who she barely remembered in person but knew from the pictures, stories, and videos that Erik had compiled for her.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. She was very smart and very brave, just like you.”
She went back to her breakfast with a happily little noise that set him smiling again. Conversations like this gave him hope that he wasn’t doing a terrible job at this fatherhood thing.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were having a sleepover?” she asked with a small pout, like the thought had just occurred to her.
He choked on his sip of coffee and took the time to catch his breath to remember the explanation he had planned. “That’s a very good question, Nina. It wasn’t a planned sleepover. Charles came over after you were in bed so we could spend a bit more time together and we both fell asleep,” he explained as simply as possible.
Nina nodded when he was finished speaking and absently wiped her nose on her wrist. Erik frowned and got up to get her a Kleenex.
“Do you like Charles?” she asked curiously, turning in her seat to follow his progress across the room.
He handed her the tissue and gestured to her nose with a small chuckle, “Yes. I like him a lot,” he admitted, smiling.
“Is that why you were hugging?” she snuffled into the tissue before handing it back to him. He tried not to grimace.
He willed himself not to blush at her question, remembering a memorable conversation from a few months prior about why some adults like to hug and kiss, something at Nina found disgusting at the time. "Yes.”
Her eyes widened, “Like kissing like?!” she demanded, scandalized.
He felt his cheeks prickle with warmth, and cleared his throat yet again, “Yes.”
“Oh,” she said softly, seeming to need a moment to absorb this information.
“Is that okay?” he asked, worried by her subdued reaction.
She nodded, seeming thoughtful and changed the subject to some animated show or another that was now a movie she wanted to see. He went along with the subject change but made a mental note to keep an eye on her mood in the coming days.
They were almost to her school, listening to a kid friendly station that he streamed through his car when she caught his attention during a Minecraft parody pop song. It was disturbingly catchy. “Papa?”
He turned down the volume and glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “Yes?”
“Does Charles like you?”
“Yes! Remember we talked about not hugging and kissing people if both people don’t want to?” he asked, a bit anxiously.
She nodded.
“That’s the same when you’re grown up,” he said, relieved.
She hummed her agreement, a small frown wrinkling her brow. “Charles is a boy.”
Erik wanted this morning to be over and it hadn't even properly begun. “Yes. Yes he is.”
“...so if you kiss him it won’t make a baby?”
Erik was gob smacked. They hadn’t discussed where babies came from since she’d been very curious about his sister’s pregnancy when she was three, he didn’t know if she remembered any of that explanation.
Fortunately or unfortunately- Erik really couldn’t decide- their conversation was cut short since they had arrived at the head of the drop off line at the kindergarten. “No, it won’t. I’ll explain more later.” He promised before hopping out of the car and opening the door for her for clamber out.
He made sure she had her book bag and got her hug and kiss for the day before handing her off to her class monitor who gave him the same flirtatious look every time they met. He pretended not to notice and made a timely retreat, heading to his exit for a busy workday and some relief from her surprisingly astute questions.
~~
Erik lost himself in meetings, and phone calls, case files and depositions. He was proud to have found the time to check in with Charles with a few playful texts, but thankfully both were busy with work so neither felt neglected.
His phone rang. He answered it and no one was on the line. It was still ringing. He looked at the handset, confused then felt like an idiot when he realized it was his personal cell.
His heart raced when he saw that it was the Kindergarten calling. He glanced at the time as he answered. Nina should have been long gone to her afterschool program for the day. he hoped nothing was wrong. “Hello,” he snapped.
“Mr. Lehnsherr?”
“Speaking.”
“This is Mrs. Perry, Nina’s teacher?”
“Yes, is everything alright?”
“Oh yes, I didn’t mean to worry you. I hope this isn’t a bad time?” she assured him softly.
Erik let out a relieved sigh, heart rate coming down at her words. He was due for a break anyway. “It’s fine. What did you need?” he asked, imagining fundraising or field trip supervision requests when she blindsided him.
“Two things, really. One, Nina seemed very…curious about human reproduction today. Just a heads up that she’ll probably have some questions when she gets home,” she said with a light chuckle.
Erik face palmed, “Ah. Yes. Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She said cheerily before falling silent for a moment. “The second thing… is a little unorthodox and my fault for not bringing it to your attention sooner. Meeting your friend Charles called to mind a brief interaction I had with a man when Nina started our program.”
Erik tensed at her words, heart in his throat.
“It was the strangest thing. He came in and asked if Nina had remembered her lunchbox for the day. We don’t give out information about our students so we didn’t even confirm her attendance. He looked very irritated then left. It was a fluke that I was even in the office when he showed up. One of the kids had been violently sick and I took him to the nurse."
"Seeing your friend called him to mind. They look very alike, even after he left one of the secretaries commented on how much Nina looked like her father."
"I corrected her and they put a note in her file about possible information fishing attempts. I meant to call you then, but the day got away from me and it entirely slipped my mind. I apologize.”
"We will of course go over all this during parent teacher conferences after the holiday, but I wanted you to know as soon as possible.”
Erik heard faint ringing in his ears, “When was this?” he asked hollowly.
“A few weeks ago. I can get the exact date if you’d like?”
“Yes, please. You can text it to me. I’ll speak to you soon,” he said as evenly as possible.
“Of course. I’ll get you that information right away. Thank you, Mr. Lehnsherr.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Perry.” He hung up the phone and took several deep breaths. Trying to get his head on straight. He glanced at the time, a half hour before he was scheduled to leave for the day. He wouldn’t be any more use at work for the day with this looming over his head. He sent out a brief email to his colleagues and quickly wrapped up for the day.
He decided to go get Nina early, maybe they could go see that movie she’d mentioned and have some dinner. He couldn’t go a moment longer without seeing her or he’d panic.
He shot off a quick text to his sister and parents letting them know what was going on, receiving the usual concerned replies in a matter of moments. He knew he needed to talk to Charles about all this. His boyfriend deserved to know what he was getting into by being a part of their lives. he could only hope that his past and the drama it brought didn't scare Charles away.