Steve had felt the kid hovering and staring for minutes already. When Tony eventually grabbed the sleeve of Steve's spectacularly ugly christmas sweater (how had Clint managed to find one with a huge blinking LED-star? and why had people electronics in their clothes anyway?) he had finally given up on actual drawing. He still didn't dare to turn and look at the boy. Since the spell had hit him, Tony had shied away from contact with Steve on a good day and had an outright panic attack on bad ones.
Steve dared a sideways glanced and saw chocolate brown eyes, almost black in the dim light, shimmering with awe. Well, also shimmering with the flashing lights from the sweater, but it made hope spark in Steve's chest. He still wasn't entirely sure what made tiny Tony so afraid of him, but it seemed that Steve's drawings might be something they could bond over.
Eventually Steve gathered his courage and whispered: "You like it?"
"Mmmh", Tony answered with a slight nod. He was still staring at the paper in complete awe.
"If you let go of my arm, I can finish it", Steve tried. "You can sit and watch if you want to."
He sensed the exact moment the kid became aware of the situation again. Tony's withdrew his hands rapidly, folded them and drew his lower lip between his teeth. Before he could start stammering an excuse for anything, Steve cut in: "And if you want to, I can show you how to sketch afterwards."
Tony lowered his eyes, avoiding Steve. Again. "I'm no good at art stuff. Wouldn't be worth the effort."
There was a blazing urge to pick up the little boy and talk this nonsense out of him, but Steve had a very good idea of how that would end, so he set his pencil back onto the paper, started hatching another shadow and casually said: "Of course you're no good at it. You've never done it, never practiced and never had anyone show it to you. But if you think you'd like it, it's totally worth the effort." The gentle scratching of lead against paper filled the upcoming silence. "And to me it would be no effort at all", he said, voice lowered as to not disrupt the serenity that always came with drawing.
Tony seemed to be drawn in again, standing close by Steve's shoulder and following his every movement. Maybe when Steve put down the pencil, he'd make good on his promise to teach him. maybe the kid would bolt within the instant. But for now, he was there and looked as happy as Steve had ever seen him and that made him want to keep drawing for him forever.
~~~~~~~
Beginning: Steve and Tony are in a recently established relationship, still high on endorphines and totally excited. Avengers around them are genuinely happy with them finally making a move, but they are taking it slow for now, glowing around and being obnoxiously happy during everyday life and battles.
Tony is still horribly booked out and promises that for Christmas, before they join everyone else for the CE-festivities, he'll take the entire day off and they are going to go ice skating in the afternoon. Around this, they plan an entire day of dating (with lots of free time to pass cuddling and stuff).
[happy, sappy couple-intermissions that make everyone who's currently in the compound role their eyes]
Steve convinces everyone to spend at least part of the holidays at Stark Tower because whatever Tony says, he doesn't have enough company. Especially Rhodey is totally on board with this, because he wholeheartedly agrees with the reasoning. They surprise Tony (he wouldn't say yes otherwise) and after initially thinking they are joking, he's overly happy and delighted.
They receive a package of unknown origin and Steve's suggestion to report it to any kind of authority gets overwritten by Tony's conviction that he can solve this. Cue him and Bruce vanishing in the lab. Later they draw Clint into it as well since he is more experienced with assassination attempts. LATER they also draw Nat into the lab. Eventually they are all convinced that there is nothing wrong with it, at least nothing toxic or explosive. That is, until Wanda comes into the lab and discovers that her assumed sudden migraine gets a lot worse when she comes closer to The Thing. It's definitely magic, nothing Tony's various screening could make any sense of and it fucks with Wanda's head big time, so she doesn't feel suitable to handle it.
Tony reaches out to find other people who are known users of supernatural forces and after some deep internet research stumbles upon the name of Stephen Strange, whom he remembers meeting a couple of times years ago on social events and they got along fairly well. He snorts about the title of the Sorcerer Supreme but eventually calls him.
Strange comes over, is not too impressed but promises to handle it. For Reasons, he decides that removing the object from the flow of time is necessary. He sets up the according spell and aims it at the object, which deflects parts of it. A bolt of magic shoots off, dangerously into Steve's direction, so Tony decides to jump into the way. Suddenly, Strange is VERY impressed by the object.
When Steve gets his senses back together he realizes that the Tony sprawled out on top of him is too small, too fragile and too... much of a 10 year old. He gently shakes the boy who blinks his eyes open and after a flurry of blabbering and awe over Steve suddenly looks shocked and breaks into tears. Steve tried to console him as best as he can, but he doesn't really have a knack for kids so after a few moments he turns to Strange and commands him to fix it.
Strange looks at least as lost as Steve, also half as panicked as Tony and after mumbling some things about finding a revert spell, he vanishes into a cloud of dust. Steve shouts after him "YOU BETTER!" and can only watch after Tony running from him, leaving tear drops on the ground behind him. Steve runs after him but is informed by Friday that the kid apparently mainly tries to get away as soon as he hears Steve approaching.
Steve resolves to calling Pepper who is currently at her own place, running on all cylinders to organize various Christmas events for and about SI. At first she somehow seems to focus on how all of that means, Tony won't be present for these events. After a few moments she actually processes what Steve is saying and asks how he didn't think about asking Rhodey who is 100% more skilled at handling kids than she is. She promises to come over either way to handle the fallout.
After headdesking, because he really doesn't know why he called Pepper in first place, he goes to ask Rhodey about it. Rhodey takes a deep breath, thinks about something for a while and eventually tells Steve to stay out of it for now (he knows everything about young!Tony's selfworth issues that boiled down to "as soon as Steve Rogers should come back, I'll be useless", but doesn't want to tell Steve such intimate details about Tony without Tony consenting).
Steve spends forever worrying about it and wondering what he did wrong. eventually Nat comes along to distract him. he makes sure that Rhodey is ok with him withdrawing from the situation for today and Rhodey informs him that things could be better, but it's not the first time he has to put Tony to bed and comfort him so he'll be fine.
Sleep doesn't really bring Steve into a state where he knows what to do any better than yesterday. Rhodey seemed to be ok with how the situation was going (as ok as you could be, given the circumstances) so maybe it would be better if he just stayed away from Tony if his mere presence already made the kid panic. He can uphold this ideal exactly until he sees the hunched up form of the kid sitting at the breakfast table. He slowly walks into the kitchen, making his presence known by not being silent. When tony spots him, the kid doesn't panic but just gets up and walks out. Steve feels hurt but doesn't do anything about it.
Steve tries to explain all of this to himself by the kid being confused and scared but it still hurts. He asks Rhodey if the kid is ok and Rhodey explains that little tony has been more than a handful to handle. He has been asking crazy questions, proving that there is not much sense in lying to him and currently Rhodey is trying his best to withhold things from the kid long enough to not crash him. He already had to tell tony that he is in another time. He managed by some god-sent miracle to push off the discussion of the parents and Edwin Jarvis for now, but that might just be a matter of hours. Steve also asks if he might try to get closer to the kid. Rhodey says he might try to get the kid closer to him instead and that that might even be a good idea. Steve should just go about his day for now.
Steve does as he is told but is still down and questions every part of himself. He thought kid!Tony had adored him but right now he looks far more terrified than anything else.
[something, something, Tony starts trusting Steve enough, to be at least somewhat ok with being around him]
Steve introduces himself. Everything goes ok (if you blatantly ignore Tony shaking like a leaf at times) until Tony shouts "shut up, i don't have to be better than you!" and storms out. Steve calls "no you don't?" after him but Tony is gone.
Another day of doubt later, Tony actually comes up to him. Steve tries being friendly, trips over his own feet in his attempts to be gentle but eventually Tony blurts out: "Hey Steve, you want me to trust you, right?" "Um. yes. I'd like that." "What happened to my parents?" [fear and drama ensues, Steve manages to tell Tony somehow, but it's hard]
Steve feels drained and dealt with. Everyone has offered him help by now but he feels like not talking to anyone for a week. Tony had not reacted as harshly as expected, if anything he had reacted not nearly enough, but adult Tony had always been good at subduing his feelings and he must have learned that at some age. When Steve gets a text message from Rhodey that reads "At least he finally started crying about it", Steve decides that his job is done, starts crying into his pillow until he falls asleep.
As if there weren't enough surprises, Steve is greeted next noon by Tony in the kitchen and he looks totally chewed out. After the most awkward greeting, Tony apologizes. "I shouldn't have asked that yesterday. It was mean and hurtful and I knew that." Steve feels himself melt a little and also doesn't hold him responsible so he forgives him. Tony is forcing back tears again. when Steve keeps on assuring that it's ok, Tony eventually gets up and walks out.
Steve decides to not take this for now, runs after him and asks what is going on. When he gets into Tony's way, Tony fights with himself, eventually breaks into tears and screams "YOU CAN NOT BE THAT PERFECT, FUCKING STOP THAT!" Tony stands there and just cries. Eventually Steve figures that maybe a hug would help (hugging usually helped adult!Tony) and embraces the kid. Tony cries but he keeps his head from Steve's shoulder. when Steve tries to say what he hopes is calming, Tony interrupts him. "can you maybe... please... not hug me? it feels uncomfortable." Steve jumps away and apologizes. They sit down against opposing walls and talk. Tony tells him that he feels like he had to be better than Steve otherwise he wasn't worth anything. Steve eventually gets so angry at Howard that he goes to the gym to punch a few bags out of their chains.
When Steve goes to bed that night he sees that it's only two days until Christmas Eve. He decides to organize some things the next day. Unfortunately he doesn't find a way to contact Stephen Strange. He does on the other hand with furrowed brows call the ice skating place tony had booked (an entire rink, for privacy) to tell them they wouldn't show. He meets Tony around breakfast and realizes he never found out what the kid did all the time they didn't sit awkwardly around each other and talked about dead parents. "What'd you do yesterday, if you don't mind me asking?" "What's it to you" Tony replies. Steve keeps quiet after that.
Tony, later: "I felt a little like building a robot or something two days ago, but then I found out about my parents being dead, about Edwin and Anna being dead and about everyone being gone. That dampened my mood." Tony spits dry sarcasm in the following dialogue but Steve digs further. Tony seems to budge and ready to give up something, right before he snaps at Steve. "Screw you, I'm done talking and crying is for losers!" Steve feels lost. Every step he takes, Tony takes back. Tony gets up and leaves. When steve is about to leave himself, Tony stands back in the door. He looks at steve like he wants to say something, but he just stares. Steve decides to wait it out.
An impossibly long time later, Tony asks "You won't hit me?" Steve is taken aback and wants to fuzz over him, but eventually settles for saying "Nothing you could ever do would make me hit a child." Tony stares at him, determined and eventually nods. "If you want to, you can hug me" Tony says. Steve is confused and asks: "Would you like that?" "I don't know." Steve crouches down. It feels weird. He takes Tony up into his arms. Physically it is nice, it's hugging after all, but somehow... "It feels weird" Tony says. Steve lets go of him and laughs. "Yes it does" Steve agrees.
They agree to play a board game instead. Tony says he would like the distraction and Rhodey won't let him into the workshop. After a while, Tony looks at Steve, obviously annoyed. Steve asks what is going on. "You're not supposed to just let me win" Tony complains. Steve starts to stammer an excuse but eventually admits it. He decides to stop it and actually wins a few games. Not all of them, though. Tony is impressed and so is Steve. "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve" Steve says after they stared at the board for some time. "I hate Christmas Eve" tony counters. "The only nice thing about Christmas was being with Anna and Mr Jarvis."
Steve thinks about Christmas. He had made all these awesome plans with Tony. Other than that, it reminds him of Sarah. Of bucky. Of Peggy. Of everyone he doesn't have anymore and now probably also of Tony. Sad, sullen, frightened tony who breaks his heart in more ways than he cares to admit. He decides to leave it at that. Maybe they were not made for Christmas.
On Christmas Eve, Steve tells the others that he won't be around for general celebrations. They try to persuade him but he says that Christmas always makes him sad and he'd really prefer to mope alone instead of pretending to be fine. They eventually agree. He goes for a walk, sees the busy last minute shoppers and smiles at them. Even if it makes his heart twitch, they all have someone to come home to and he feels vaguely happy for them.
He had planned on sitting at home, maybe sketching a few things to pass the time, watch something on netflix. Anything to prevent himself from getting too much into the Christmas spirit that would make him miss Sarah. Or Bucky. He considers going back to the Avengers facility to get out of the others' way, but eventually figures it's useless. Stark Tower is so big, you could avoid each other for weeks without even trying. He has his own floor after all.
When he gets back he feels vaguely refreshed. He also remembers that he still hasn't heard a word from this sorcerer. That guy better come back with a solution, and soon at that. Thinking about him, Steve wonders what Tony is doing. He probably went with the others to the communal floor. After all he got along well enough with at least Rhodey and Clint. Also probably with Nat after she realized you could just treat little Tony like an adult half of the time. Steve huffs. As much as he wants to be important and close to Tony, whatever shape he is in, he hardly has managed to not scare the kid into panic or make him act up like a maniac. If by tomorrow that Strange-guy didn't show up, Steve would start pulling strings to hunt him down.
Steve takes a deep breath and tries to get away from that. He gets out his art supplies to scatter his thoughts. He hovers over all the options for a moment and eventually picks pastels and cardboard along with a hard pencil for pre-sketching. When he gets into his living room, he finds that the others had taken it upon themselves to leave presents for him there. Fair enough, since he dropped theirs under the tree on the communal floor earlier that day. He considers it for a moment and opens them.
[insert christmas present ideas, the one from Clint is the ugly sweater]
Eventually Steve sits down (with the ugly sweater, cause oh Clint, well ok, it is kind of funny) and starts sketching. After some time, Tony knocks at the door. He hustles in, saying something about how the others trying to cheer him up only make him feel even worse and if he could just hang around on Steve's floor so he wouldn't be all alone.
This is where the above scene is about to happen