"Bobbi?"
"Yes, Jemma?"
"What are you wearing?"
"A sweater."
"Is that a Star Wars Christmas jumper?"
"Maybeeeee." Bobbi blinked at Jemma innocently, grinning ear to ear. The two were taking inventory at the bar they both worked at. Jemma had only just noticed what Bobbi was wearing. Jemma shook her head but laughed. It was certainly interesting attire. Christmas music played in the background, setting a very cheery environment.
"That has to be the ugliest jumper I have ever seen." Jemma eyed the sweater. Bobbi laughed, nudging Jemma with her hip.
"I got you a sweater as an early gift you know? You're going to love it." Bobbi informed her, still grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
"Please tell me it's not as ugly as yours." Jemma groaned. Bobbi's response was simply a wiggle of her eyebrows.
"Jemma, Bobbi! C'mere!" A voice yelled, extremely loud from the front area of the bar. The shared the same look and spoke at the same time.
"Daisy."
"Daisy, I told you not to yell through the bar." Mack yelled back and they both shook their heads.
"Everyday." Bobbi commented, chuckling.
"I'm not sure he realizes how useless telling her what to do is." Jemma said as they walked out to the front. Mack was wiping down the bar counter, looking a little perturbed as usual. Daisy was standing at the far end with a box set on the bar, looking mischievous.
"Oh no, hell no. I do not like that look. Jemma she's doing the look!" Bobbi's eyes had widened and she looked scared. Jemma also grew panicked. That look could only mean her girlfriend was up to no good.
"Whatever it is, no." Jemma said quickly.
"I second that." Bobbi agreed.
"I haven't even said anything yet." Daisy pouted.
"You don't have to." Mack spoke up, eyebrow raised. Daisy stuck out her tongue at him.
"Just come look in the box! You'll love it." Daisy assured them, tearing open the top of the box. Jemma and Bobbi hesitantly made their way over to the box. On top was a Santa costume which Daisy pulled out and set to the side. Underneath were several elf costumes.
"I'm gonna repeat what Jemma said before, no." Bobbi deadpanned. Jemma lifted one of the costumes, lip curled in disgust.
"Bloody hell, what elf dresses like that?" Jemma squeaked. They weren't the most modest costumes. She briefly wondered if this was Daisy's attempt to see Jemma in a skimpy elf costume for her own pleasure.
"There's tights for when the kids come, but they're supposed to be skimpy for the customers." Daisy said, like that explained everything. "Coulson is dressing up as Santa and he needs elves."
"Kids?" Bobbi questioned.
"We're opening up the bar for kids to meet Santa." Daisy said. Bobbi quirked an eyebrow at the thought. Kids meeting Santa in a bar. Something seemed questionable about that.
"I'm not sure that's a very good idea, Daisy." Jemma pointed out. Daisy scoffed as she held up one of the costumes.
"It's a great idea, babe! Then their parents will come that night for slightly naughtier elves!" Daisy grinned, tossing Bobbi and Jemma their costumes. Bobbi immediately threw it back, right at Daisy's face.
"You can count me out." Bobbi said firmly, turning on her heel to head back into the storage room for inventory.
"I have to agree with Bobbi, love." Jemma agreed, pressing a kiss to Daisy's cheek before falling behind the tall blonde. Daisy only continued grinning.
"You got Coulson in on it didn't you?" Mack sighed, his rag stopping on the counter. Daisy looked practically manic.
"He told me he'd get May to talk them into it." Daisy said. Mack said a silent prayer for the girls. He had no doubt May would terrify them into the costumes. He just hoped they survived the ordeal. It's not like they would quit. Right?
They were a family, all working at Shield. It was a bar that had been open longer than most people could remember. It'd gone by a different name once upon a time, but it was still the same place. Shield was a magnet and safe haven for misfits. People who worked at Shield were like a family. They had quite a number of employees who had various jobs at the bar. Coulson was always encouraging everyone to come up with new ideas so they could compete with Hydra down the street.
Daisy seemed to take this encouragement to heart.
"Hey guys!" Trip called, entering the front door. Two rather large German shepherds walked beside him, tails wagging excitedly.
"Trip! Didn't May tell you and Bobbi you couldn't bring the dogs in here anymore?" Daisy smiled, glad to see their friend. He'd been away for a while on vacation or something and only gotten back recently. He'd been sorely missed.
"She did, but we're only passing through and what May doesn't know won't hurt her." Trip smiled sheepishly, reaching down to scratch the dog on the left's ears.
"Leia!" Bobbi called, appearing from the back. Daisy was pretty sure she had a sixth sense for when her beloved canine was around. The dog on the right started bouncing around and Trip released the leash. The brown mass barreled towards Bobbi and practically jumped into Bobbi's arms.
"She missed you." Trip chuckled.
"It's not my fault the apartment's being fumigated and Jemma's place only allows small breeds." Bobbi pouted, easily lifting the crazy big dog. Daisy had a theory she was a werewolf in disguise. She was obsessed with digs and wolves, not to mention no normal human was that strong.
"Well, Chance has enjoyed having his buddy around." Trip chuckled. Chance barked in response.
"Jemma doesn't like dogs anyway." Mack added.
"She likes Leia." Bobbi argued.
"I tolerate Leia." Jemma clarified. She had appeared in the doorway of the back keeping a clear distance from the large canines. Daisy pulled her into her arms for quick cuddles, kissing her warmly. Jemma was pretty sure she was trying to distract from her plan discussed previously.
"Leia loves you, Jem." Bobbi grinned, moving the dog so she could thoroughly lick Jemma's face. Jemma spluttered, pushing away at the dog's face. Daisy laughed at how cute her girlfriend was.
"Oi, May specifically said no more dogs in the bar!" Hunter walked in front the upstairs, shaking his head in amusement. "Am I only one one terrified of the tiny Asian woman?"
"My love for Leia outweighs my fear of May." Bobbi put Leia down and passed her leash back to Trip. She was ready for dog cuddles when she got off work.
"You like Artie too, babe." Daisy added, feeling a pang for her own dog at home.
"Artie is small and cute." Jemma nodded. "I tolerate him as well."
"You're no fun, Jemma." Bobbi frowned.
"You're such a cat person, Jemma. Even Marie-Curie loves Artie." Daisy reminded her. Jemma's cat had taken a shining to Daisy's dog.
"Marie-Curie has questionable taste for a cat." Jemma shrugged.
"I smell dog." A voice carried down the stairs and everyone froze. Bobbi reached over and smacked Hunter in the arm as hard as she could.
"You didn't say May was here!" Bobbi hissed. Trip rushed the two dogs out the door, a wave at his friends as he left.
"It didn't come up." Hunter shrugged. Everyone shot him a glare.
"Shouldn't you all be working?" May had come about halfway down the stairs, death glare pointed at all employees. Everyone started stuttering out excuses as they hurried to make it look like they'd been working the entire time.
"Impressive." Mack commented when everyone had scattered. May only smirked before going back upstairs. She knew how to get things done and how to get everyone to work. Someone had to be a kick in the pants when Coulson was so slack.
"Daisy Johnson is going to die." Bobbi deadpanned, peeling her tights off. She was dressed in the elf costume and currently standing in the employee locker room. Jemma was taking off her own tights and looked just as haggard as Bobbi.
"I know how to get rid of a body." Jemma said quietly. She pulled a candy cane out of her hair and cringed. Children were an ordeal. She loved her girlfriend but murdering her would solve many of her problems.
"I am covered in so much children goo and there's candy in my hair." Bobbi growled, combing her fingers through her hair. It knocked out various pieces of candy. "I don't think this is exactly sexy." She muttered.
"I was not expecting anything nearly that bad." Jemma admitted. The children had been rowdy and had terrorized the staff. Daisy was noticeably absent from the locker room. She was probably hiding from Bobbi who had looked murderous the entire time.
"I told Daisy it would be awful and tonight is only going to be worse." Bobbi muttered, throwing her tights across the room to the trash. She stormed out and Jemma winced. Poor Daisy.
"Bobbi, hey, friend!" Daisy's voice carried to the locker room followed by a shriek and the sound of running. Jemma decided she'd wait in the locker room until that worked itself out. Her girlfriend could mostly hold her own. Coulson walked in, decked out in his Santa costume with the beard pulled down around his neck. It was an interesting costume with all the extra padding stuffed in.
"This costume is very warm." Coulson breathed, looking like he'd just experienced real trauma. Jemma couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips. Coulson just chuckled back at her.
"You did well, sir." Jemma said, still laughing.
"It was a better idea in theory." Coulson admitted, plopping down on one of the benches.
"Blame Daisy, anything she plans is bound to end in disaster. Every time." Jemma reminded him. There'd been plenty of incidents similar to this one and Bobbi wanting to murder Daisy was not new.
"Let's just hope tonight goes better." Coulson smiled tiredly.
The night most certainly did not go better. In fact it was somehow going about three times worse. Bobbi couldn't wait until it was over and she could string Daisy up from a tree out back.
"Three men and one woman have slapped my ass." Bobbi growled, dropping one of the plastic trays of empty mugs. The entire bar smelled of peppermint, stale beer, sweat, and possibly vomit. Bobbi usually tended bar with Mack but she was being made to waitress. She could handle tending bar but being on the floor was a special form of torture.
"Bobbi, that one man in the corner keeps tugging on my skirt. Please make him stop." Jemma whined, leaning heavily on the bar. She was tugging at the skirt to get it to come down lower but it was to no avail.
"Daisy!" Bobbi barked. Daisy's head snapped up from where she was chatting up a table at the far side of the bar. She quickly bid her table farewell and hurried over to Bobbi.
"Yes?" Daisy blinked innocently. Bobbi glared at her before gesturing to the man in the corner.
"Politely remind the man in the corner that touching the waitresses is ill-advised and we will escort him out if need be." Bobbi gritted out between her teeth.
"You got it!" Daisy grinned. She kissed Jemma's cheek and then hurried over to do just that. Bobbi was about to speak again when a man slung his shoulder over Jemma's shoulders.
"Hey there, pretty lady. My name's Todd." The man's breath stunk of beer and Jemma barely held back a gag.
"Hello there, if you could please remove your arm from me that would be lovely." Jemma forced a smile. Todd chuckled and held her tighter.
"C'mon, beautiful. You know you want a piece of me." Todd grinned. Bobbi leaned forward and yanked his arm off of Jemma.
"She said hands off." Bobbi said, her tone a stern warning. Todd unfortunately did not get the hint.
"She's just playing hard to get, stay out of it." Todd slurred, yanking at the hand holding his arm. Bobbi's expression was dangerous but Todd was obvious.
"No she's not, touch her again and I'll break her arm." Bobbi growled. Todd laughed, raising his eyebrows.
"Why do you care? You jealous?" Todd's grin turned lecherous. Bobbi wanted to punch it off his face.
"She's my girlfriend." Jemma blurted out quickly. Daisy wasn't around and she'd seen it work in movies. Todd barked out a laugh.
"You got to be kidding me. A couple of lesbos? Hmm, maybe your girlfriend could join us." Todd wiggled his eyebrows and Bobbi decided she was going to punch him. Fortunately Trip's hand appeared on Todd's shoulder.
"C'mon, man. They're not interested." Trip said gently, guiding him away from the two women. Jemma sighed in relief glad there wouldn't be a bar brawl. Not that she doubted Bobbi would win.
"Jemma! You didn't tell me you got a new girlfriend?" A voice startled Jemma and her eyes widened. Bobbi's expression went from angry to straight up terrified as two tiny British people made their way to Jemma's side.
"Mr. and Mrs. Simmons. Didn't expect to see you here." Bobbi smiled, trying to look like she wasn't dying.
"Mum, Dad. Hello!" Jemma greeted, looking like she might throw up. Her parents each pulled her into a tight hug.
"We came to visit our dear Jemma." Jemma's mother, Violet, smiled brightly. Jemma's father, Howie, reached out to shake Bobbi's hand. "Barbra, we've told you to call us Violet and Howie. None of this mister and missus nonsense."
"Jemma, you didn't tell us you'd broken up with Daisy." Howie commented, patting Bobbi's back. For such a small man he sure was strong, Bobbi thought as she coughed at the sheer force.
"We haven't." Jemma said quickly. She was about to explain the situation as Violet's eyes lit up.
"Two American girlfriends, look at that. Our dear Jemma is a ladies woman!" Violet nudged her husband. Howie smiled back brightly.
"Welcome to the family then, Barbra." Howie said, patting her back again. Bobbi was pretty sure he'd dislodged some organs.
"That's one way to one up your brother and sister." Violet laughed. Jemma looked even more panicked and Bobbi had gone noticeably pale. Talk about miscommunication.
"Barbra will have to join us for dinner as well!" Howie announced. Violet quickly nodded her agreement.
"You should have told us sooner, dear. We'll make sure to add one to the reservation." Violet said, turning to chat with her husband about the logistics. Bobbi leaned over to whisper to Jemma.
"Jemma! Fix this, they're your parents." Bobbi hissed. Jemma shrugged sheepishly.
"They look so happy though."
"Jemma!"
"Violet, Howie! I didn't expect to see you." Daisy grinned, setting her tray down. Bobbi decided right then and there the universe hated her or loved her. She wasn't sure which.
"Daisy! We were worried you were too busy at work to say hello. Jemma's just told us the news, we're so happy for you two." Violet pulled Daisy in for a tight hug.
"What news?" Daisy asked, shooting a confused look at her girlfriend. Jemma smiled back sheepishly.
"About the two of you adding Barbra to your relationship! What else?" Howie grinned. Daisy choked on air, eyes widening considerably.
"Oh is that so?" Daisy squeaked.
"We're so excited for her to join us." Violet said, clapping her hands. Howie glanced at his watch and placed his hand on Violet's shoulder.
"We have to get going or we'll miss the show." Howie mentioned.
"Oh, then we must get going. It was nice seeing you dears, we'll see you girls soon." Violet hugged them all and with a wave, the two tiny Brits were gone. Jemma, Bobbi and Daisy all looked shellshocked.
"What the hell happened?" Daisy asked.
"It was Jemma's fault!" Bobbi practically shrieked.
"Is it really so bad?" Jemma offered.
"Jemma!" The two yelled in unison.
"I am just looking on the bright side!"
"Don't worry, Daisy. It'll be fine." Jemma was tucked into her girlfriend's side. They were taking a taxi to dinner with her parents. Bobbi was pressed as far away from the lovebirds and as close to the door as possible. She was texting on her phone, most likely freaking out to Hunter.
"I don't trust your definition of fine." Daisy sighed, reaching up to fix her winter hat.
"Your parents ability to accept that their daughter suddenly has two girlfriends is impressive." Bobbi finally spoke for the first time the entire drive.
"They tend to do that. I think when you have three genius children it's just easier to accept everything in stride." Jemma shrugged.
"They were more worried about me looking like a goth." Daisy reminded her, causing Jemma to giggle. Her parents had quite the reaction to first meeting Daisy. Not necessarily that she was wearing fishnets and a handcuff necklace, but that she might be cold in just fishnets. Unfortunately Daisy had taken that as their disproval of her style. Jemma had just never clarified, it was funnier that way.
"My parents mean well." Jemma said.
"I want your parents." Bobbi shook her head, cracking a smile. She'd been pretty solemn all day and Jemma couldn't figure out why.
"You may have them." Jemma chuckled, shaking her own head in amusement.
"My question is why did we have to wear these ugly Christmas sweaters?" Daisy asked, frowning down at the dorky sweater Bobbi had gotten her. Jemma was wearing her own.
"I got the entire crew Christmas sweaters. I thought why not wear them to dinner and the holiday party!" Bobbi grinned. Daisy stuck out her tongue. The taxi came to a stop and they all tumbled out into the frigid air. They hurried inside where Howie and Violet waited at their reserved table.
"Girls!" Violet went through and hugged each girl tightly, and Howie hugged Jemma before rearranging the other twos' organs with a back pat.
"Yes, here I am with my two girlfriends." Jemma said awkwardly, earning a look from the other two. She shrugged helplessly.
"Go ahead and sit. We ordered hot chocolate for everyone so I hope that's fine." Violet commented. They all took seats at the table, Jemma wedged between Daisy and Bobbi. Bobbi had ended up next to Howie and was suddenly terrified.
"Sounds perfect, Mrs. Simmons." Bobbi smiled warmly, putting on her best parent appeasing expression.
"Please, dear. It's Violet." Violet reached across the table and patted her hand. Bobbi just smiled back trying to hide her panic. Bobbi wasn't the kind of person to go home to parents. Especially not the parents of a girl she wasn't actually dating.
"Mum, we all pitched in to get you and Dad a present." Jemma decided changing the subject would be better for Bobbi's health.
"Right, here." Daisy handed the two Brits their respective gifts.
"Oh isn't that, lovely." Howie smiled, setting his gift on the table. The waiter appeared with mugs of hot chocolate before disappearing. Violet and Howie opened their gifts, eyes lighting up. They'd gotten them both a book, one on gardening for Howie and one on quantum physics for Violet.
"You girls didn't have to! We're so honored." Violet had teared up and Howie patted his wife's hand.
"Of course we got you a gift, Mum." Jemma said, smiling at her mother's nature. She'd gotten very lucky in the parents department.
"I'm so glad you're not a joker like your sister. We appreciate her gifts as well but, you know her." Howie joked. Jemma laughed because she did know her sister.
"Your brother is very practical." Violet added and Jemma laughed even harder because she also knew her brother.
"We're glad you like them." Daisy spoke up. Jemma had picked them out and stuck Daisy's, and later Bobbi's, name on them. Daisy hadn't a clue what to get them and Bobbi was even more clueless.
"We also got you three gifts." Violet tucked her book into her bag before producing three wrapped gifts from seemingly nowhere. The girls took the gifts a little hesitantly.
"Let us know what you think of it, Barbra. Unfortunately we haven't gotten to know you quite as well as Daisy here but Violet is brilliant at picking out gifts." Howie commented, looking a little worried she wouldn't like their gift.
"I'll love whatever it is." Bobbi assured them. Jemma wasn't sure what she was expecting from her parents for either her or the other two. Their presents were always interesting and she always considered being like her sister and insisting they donate the money for her Christmas present instead. Usually they got her a gift anyway so it wouldn't really work anyway but it was worth a shot.
"Oh, it's lovely." Bobbi squeaked, the first to get her gift open. Tucked among tissue paper and the wrapping was a distinctly shaped sexual object attached to black straps. Bobbi could feel her face turning tomato red and everything was suddenly very warm as she hurried to wrap it back up. Violet and Howie both looked very pleased at this. Jemma was pretty sure Bobbi looked like she might have a stroke.
"Oh my god." Daisy's horrified whisper came from her left and she turned to watch as her actual girlfriend pulled out a baby onesie that had been folded on top of a baby blanket and booties. Jemma was terrified to finish opening up her gift but did so as Bobbi started chugging down her hot chocolate to help with her suddenly dry throat.
"Those are engagement rings." Jemma squeaked and Bobbi proceeded to choke on her hot chocolate, nearly spraying it everywhere. Daisy still seemed to be staring at the onesie in intense horror and hadn't even acknowledged Jemma's gift.
"One is your grandmother's and the other your great grandmother's." Howie explained.
"Is everyone ready to order?" The waiter had walked up, pad of paper in hand and looking at everyone expectantly.
"Oh, I think the girls might need another moment." Violet smiled apologetically at the waiter.
"Mum! Dad!" Jemma practically shrieked.
"My husband and I should be ready though." Violet simply ignored her, still smiling up at the waiter.
"Jemma, you can keep your parents."
"It's a onesie. A onesie. They got me a onesie. And booties! A onesie and booties. And a baby blanket!"
"You are never allowed to buy presents again." Jemma told her parents firmly.
"Funny, your sister said the same thing when we gave her her own gift this year." Howie chuckled.
"I'm dead, your parents have killed me." Bobbi whispered, staring down at the wrapped object in her hands.
"A onesie." Daisy repeated, still wide eyed. Jemma buried her face in her hands to hide her mortified expression. Her parents ignored their daughter's theatrics and ordered their meals from the amused waiter. Hopefully their son loved his gift as much as their eldest daughter and her girlfriends had. Their youngest daughter hadn't been nearly as enthused in their opinion.
"I think Bobbi needs another hot chocolate too, dear."
"You're joking. Please tell me you're not joking." Hunter was in absolute hysterics. All employees of Shield were crowded into Coulson and May's house having their annual Christmas party. Everyone was clad in the Christmas sweaters Bobbi had gotten everyone, except for Coulson who was still playing Santa. Jemma was wedged between Daisy and Bobbi on the couch along with Mack and Trip. Mack and Trip were tucked into either side of the trio. Mack and Daisy were in the middle of a fierce battle of Mario Cart for the title of Mario Cart champion. Jemma had been reading a book which sat in her lap, until Hunter asked how the dinner had gone. Bobbi and Trip had been locked in intense discussion over dogs when Jemma had begun regaling everyone of the disaster Christmas family dinner.
Christmas music played through the house and a fire had been lit in the fireplace giving everything a cozy warmth. The smell of Christmas cookies filled the entire house. Chatter from everyone who had come filled the air and the entire house had a warm Christmas cheer.
"Unfortunately, she's not." Daisy sighed, shoving into Mack roughly who shoved right back.
"Your parents are the best, that's great." Hunter wheezed. He looked like he might fall off the arm of the chair he was perched on at any moment. Even May, who was standing to the back of the living room, had cracked a smile. Elena was sitting in the actual chair part laughing as well, and other employees of Shield mingled around the house.
"They are very forward." Elena nodded, trying to hold back stronger laughter at Bobbi's intense glare she had directed at Hunter. If he wasn't careful he'd wind up buried six feet under.
"I got a text from my sister and brother that their gifts were just as forward." Jemma sighed, shaking her head at her parents' antics. Daisy cried out in triumph as she won, Mack nudging her roughly but smiling. The two fist bumped, although Mack did so rather reluctantly.
"Forward is an understatement." Bobbi muttered. She picked up a pillow and flung it at Hunter. It nailed him in the face and he finally did tumble off the chair. Elena finally broke her composure and busted out laughing.
"Love, can you hand me my tea?" Jemma spoke and made the mistake of not looking at Daisy when she spoke, instead she had looked down to mark the place in the book on her lap. Bobbi and Daisy both moved at once, proceeding to smack their heads into each other.
"Owwww!" They both whined, looking at each other with confusion. Bobbi's face had turned bright red and she hurriedly sat down, taking a cookie from the table as cover. Daisy raised an eyebrow and handed Jemma her tea. They would discuss this later. A mischievous grin came into place and she silently thanked Jemma's parents. Maybe they'd set something into motion Daisy could definitely get behind. Watching as Jemma wiped sprinkles off Bobbi's face and Bobbi smiled, she knew Jemma could get behind it too.
"Hopefully it's not cold, chatterbox." Daisy teased, nuzzling into her girlfriend's side.
"I do tend to forget it sometimes." Jemma admitted, pressing a kiss to Daisy's nose. Daisy opened her mouth to tease her some more when Coulson appeared. He had a red sack of presents slung over his shoulder.
"Come around, boys and girls." Coulson called out. "I've got presents for all the good boys and girls."
"Then you're at the wrong place." Bobbi laughed. Coulson laughed along and smiled at Bobbi fondly. He shooed Elena out of the chair and took a seat, setting the bag in front of him.
"You get worse every year, Phil." May chuckled, watching as everyone gathered around Coulson. Everyone loved Coulson's gifts and he spent the entire year acquiring them for his employees. All of them.
"Bah Humbug, May. Don't be a Scrooge. Or a Grinch." Coulson teased, pulling his first gift out. He handed it to her and looked at her expectantly. She chuckled again which seemed to please him. He turned back to his bag and started handing out gifts. She watched as grown adults turned into children over these simple gifts. Coulson was such a dad.
Later that night when everyone had passed out from too much eggnog or gone home, and the night had gone starry, May would look at those around and smile. It was her favorite part of the festivity. This time made for a wonderful photo opportunity. As she was moving around she spotted Bobbi, Daisy and Jemma cuddled into each other. She made sure to take a picture and noted that Jemma had her fingers intertwined with not just Daisy's but Bobbi's as well.
Hmm, that was new.