Chapter 8
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After his cold, Clint can’t quite get the idea of Steve and Natasha together out of his head. It is an idea he has had before but now that he has seen them interact in those quiet moments in the kitchen, laid in between them, it is much more prevalent. They could be so good for each other, Clint knows this but the hard part is going to be getting them to see that and ironing out the kinks. He isn’t quite sure how to broach the idea of it with them so he tries to figure out a way to talk to them about it and he decides to try to bring it up with Steve first.
“So what do you think of Nat?”
He asks while they are enjoying a bit of down time, tv playing but neither of them paying much attention to it, Steve with a sketch book and Clint cleaning one of his bows. Steve looks over at him for a moment but doesn’t stop drawing.
“Like in what way, like as a person, an agent?”
He asks and Clint just gives a bit of a shrug as he answers.
“Either of those but I also meant like as a woman, like you do find her attractive, would you want to do things with her?”
He says it simply and Steve puts the sketchbook down now, just stares at Clint for a long moment before he says anything, an almost blush.
“I’m not really sure how to talk about that, I mean you and Natasha are..”
Clint interrupts him before he can say anything more.
“We’re not dating, not really, you know that.”
Steve rolls his eyes just a bit.
“Maybe you guys don’t consider yourselves dating but you are definitely something and I’m not sure if I should talk about her attractiveness with you. I mean, technically I never dated Peggy or Bucky but we were definitely a thing and I didn’t want to hear just anybody talking about their looks.”
Clint gets his point but he just gives a bit of a grin now.
“You’re not just anybody, Steve, you’re my boyfriend and I think it is all right if you tell me whether you find her attractive or not. Maybe I want us all to do something sometime.”
He wiggles his eyebrows just a bit with those last words and Steve rolls his eyes again but he seems to relax just a bit.
“Ok, I do think she is beautiful and I wouldn’t mind being with her like that, her and me and you, but I don’t think I know her much at all, I don’t think she lets me know her. I’m not sure what to think of her sometimes but I know you love her. I could be with her for a night for you, if that is something you want, if that is something she wants.“
Steve’s words are honest and a bit sweet and Clint gives him a small smile and a kiss for them.
“I’ll keep that in mind, not planning anything right now, was just curious.”
He drops the subject of what Steve might think of Natasha for now, needs to get a read on what she thinks about Steve before trying to proceed much further. He spends the rest of the evening just being with Steve and he gets his chance to talk to Nat about a week after his talk with Steve.
They are at her place, watching a movie, Nat snuggled up against him and her hand ends up under his shirt, pulls it up a bit, looks at the sketch that is on his skin right now.
“I like seeing what he’s drawn on you. Have you decided on one yet?”
She asks as she traces her fingers on the orange and yellow swirls that are there right now. It really is mostly just swirls right now, more of a design than really looking like anything but it reminds Clint a bit of the sun and he shakes his head at her question as he looks down at the design.
“Not yet, might not pick one, kind of like him drawing on me and he enjoys it too.”
“He’s good at it, has steady hands to get the details down so well.’
She says this and it is a compliment and it gives Clint an opening.
“I know you like steady hands. You think about Steve’s hands sometimes?”
It is maybe a bit of a crass way to bring it up but Nat just rolls her eyes a bit as she answers.
“I just figure he is probably good with his hands, you like him a lot after all and I’m sure not all of that has to do with him wooing you though I’m sure that has something to do with it.”
Her voice is just a bit teasing and she doesn’t answer his question really but he just gives her a bit of a grin and responds to the teasing.
“He is good with his hands, maybe you should spend some more time with him, find out if you want.”
She keeps tracing the swirls as she speaks and he leans in a bit to her touch.
“You trying to set me up with your boyfriend? Don’t think I’m his type.”
“He likes women too you know.”
He says this and she shakes her head just a bit.
“Not what I meant. Think I might be a bit different than what Rogers might want or need. I don’t know if he can quite deal with broken.”
She smiles at him but it has just a bit of edge to it and he hates when she refers to herself like that but he doesn’t try to correct her. She has worked through a lot over the years but sometimes there are things that she still has to work through and Clint just does his best to help her.
“He does well with broken, handles me just fine.”
It is supposed to be a reassurance, let her know that if she wants to get to know Steve, wants to let Steve get to know her, that Clint thinks it could work. He isn’t sure if she takes it as that but she gives him another smile and this one doesn’t have the edge of the other one.
“You’re not broken, you’re a mess. “
Her hand moves away from the swirls now, moves up to his hair and fingers tangle in it.
“I’m a mess but I’m your mess.”
He says this and she grins a bit as she speaks.
“Mine and Rogers, hasn’t been too bad sharing you with him, think I can keep it up for quite a while.”
It is nice, how she says this, and Clint is glad that she approves of Steve for him but he just wishes that she would allow herself to get to know him too. He knows not to push too much so he just leans forward and brushes a kiss against her cheek.
“Good. Hey, guess what I think I saw on Fury’s desk the other day?”
It is a change of subject but Natasha just goes with it and asks what.
“Knitting quarterly. He hasn’t canceled the subscription yet.”
The subscription to that magazine is part of their get Fury more hobbies plan and it has been a few months and Fury either can’t be bothered to cancel it or doesn’t care that he is getting knitting magazines and Clint will consider either a bit of a win.
“We can renew it for him for Christmas.”
Natasha says this with a completely serious face and Clint smiles and brushes another kiss against her check. They spend their day together and Clint doesn’t bring up Steve much more. He wants the three of them together but he doesn’t want it to just be for him and he thinks he can wait for it. It will be worth the wait.
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Clint has a mission soon, heads out for it in a few hours, and is getting ready when his phone buzzes. It is just a text and when he opens it up, he finds a message from Nat.
got a mission with your boyfriend, just picked up and got to base. think he made a friend. he’s cute.
Clint types out his reply quickly, doesn’t see the sense in keeping Nat waiting.
Steve is pretty cute, thanks for noticing
He is pretty sure she isn’t referring to Steve but wants to know for sure, is wondering why she is telling him this.
not who I was talking about
The confirmation comes quickly enough and he types out a quick reply to try to figure out what is going on.
ok, so Steve’s new friend is cute. what does it matter?
just thought you should know your boyfriend might have made a friend, a cute one got to go
This is what she sends him and Clint still isn’t sure why she has told him about this. He understands Nat better than most people but he doesn’t always get her reasons for doing things and she could have a lot of reasons for this. She could possibly be slightly interested in Steve’s friend and wants Clint to know about it, may think Steve might be interested in this person, and probably a large number of other reasons that Clint has no idea about. He has been waiting and watching to see if there could be something between her and Steve and he isn’t sure if her talking about Steve’s cute new friend is a sign that it won’t happen or that maybe it could. He will figure it out later, for now he puts his phone in his pocket and gets ready. Soon enough it is several hours later and Clint is halfway across the country.
The mission is a pretty simple one, mostly watching and observing other agents do some work, providing backup if needed and he is in a bit of downtime when he feels his phone buzz again. It isn’t a risk to answer it right now so checks it and there is a message from Nat there again.
Rogers is not happy with me and probably fury you should talk to him when there is a chance
There is a bit of an uneasy feeling in Clint’s stomach and he types out a message quickly.
Is it mission related, did something go wrong the other day?
I did my mission but I don’t think he sees it that way
Those words give Clint a good idea of what may have happened and he is going to have to talk to Steve soon, get a feel of what is going on but right now he texts Natasha again.
you need to talk?
It is an offer he isn’t sure he will be taken up on and soon enough he gets his message.
i’m fine talk to your boyfriend
He just texts her an ok now, knows her well enough to know that she doesn’t want to talk about this more right now. She probably only told him because she is worried that any negative feelings towards her that Steve might feel right now may bleed over to him and this is her way of trying to protect him. He will talk to her about this later, when there is time, but for now he sends a small message to Steve right now.
Have time to talk. Want me to call?
It doesn’t take long till there is a responding message
You can call
That is all Clint needs and he dials Steve’s number right away. It only takes a few rings before Steve is picking up and Clint speaks first.
“Hey, how are things going? Day go ok?”
Clint isn’t quite sure how to start this conversation and this might be the easiest way.
“Are you really calling while on a mission to ask how my day went?”
There is a hint of amusement in Steve’s voice but also a bit of exhaustion and tension. Something is bothering him and if Nat is right then it is about the mission and so Clint just gets straight to it.
“No, not really. Nat got ahold of me, said you might be upset with her, with Fury for the mission the other day, and I wanted to see how you are doing, if you want to talk about it.”
There is a pause for just a moment before Steve speaks and his voice is just a bit uncertain .
“Not sure if it will help, have to think over a few things. I know you trust them so I won’t ask you that but I do want to know are you happy in SHIELD? ”
Clint thinks about it for a few seconds before giving Steve the most honest answer he can.
“I’m not unhappy, don’t always agree with everything, but SHIELD gave me a chance, Fury gave me a chance. I feel like I’m doing a bit of good but secret ops and things like that aren’t for everyone. You thinking of quitting?”
He asks now, needs to know and Steve answers after a moment’s pause.
“Maybe, not sure yet. Want to talk it over with you once you’re back, don’t want things to change between us but not sure about things at work right now.”
This reassures Clint that things are alright between the two of them and he asks a question.
“You talk to anyone else about this yet? Might help to hash it out with someone else before I get back.”
“Visiting Peggy in a bit, will see if she is up to talking, talked it over with Sam a tiny bit.’
Clint doesn’t know that name but he has an idea of who it might be so he asks.
“Sam? Is that the friend Nat told me she thinks you made?”
Clint leaves out the part where Nat called him cute, figures they can talk about that later.
“Met him jogging, good guy, needed someone to talk to you and he seemed willing. Gave me some advice, still thinking it over. “
Steve says this and they talk about it a bit, about what Sam said, Clint adding his own opinion. They should probably hang up soon, Clint needs to check his vantage point again, but he says one more thing to Steve before he gets off the phone.
“Whatever you decide to do, I’ll do my best to be there for you. Love you, ok?”
It is maybe a bit mushy to say that right now but he Steve needs it and he can hear a bit of fondness and relief in Steve’s voice as he speaks.
“Love you, too. Be safe.”
And with that they say their good byes and hang up. Clint hopes that they can figure out what Steve needs but he can worry about that later, right now he makes himself go back into mission mode and it really isn’t too hard of a mission. The newbies do well enough and several hours later, it is over and they are in the safe house. It all seems fine expect for when their transportation doesn’t show up. Something has happened, Clint will figure out what later, for now he works on getting them all back to the states and then he will figure out what is going on.
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