"Oh fuck, harder!”
Tony immediately turns around and stares at the movie streaming on the tv.
Movie might be an exaggeration, hardcore, guy on guy, ass fucking porn might be a more fitting term.
What. The. Fuck.
He quickly grabs his tablet and turns off the TV, debating whether to unplug it or throw it out the window to be on the safe side.
His first thought is that Clint must be playing a prank, except the only way to stream on that tv from another device is by being on the same wifi. He had specifically set it up like that after a previous prank from Clint, so unless Clint was able to access their wifi from the middle of Budapest, he probably wasn’t to blame for once.
His next thought was that Natasha was behind it (and while she was also in Budapest he wouldn’t put it past her) but her pranks weren’t usually so obvious.
It could have been Thor, who also loved a good prank, except that he was even more technologically inept than Steve.
Steve.
Could he really have gotten one over on him?
He knew there was a sneaky side and he was a little more devilish than most people would ever know, but still, he was impressed.
He quickly walked across the apartment to Steve’s room and quickly knocked on the door before swinging it open.
“Ha ha, hilarious Steve, did Clint show you how to do-“ Tony breaks off at the sight of a very naked Captain America, currently jerking off.
“Tony, what the fuck?!” Steve says as he furiously tries to cover himself and his (ridiculously huge) dick.
“…. Language Steve.” He finally mutters, looking intently at the floor instead of the half naked superhero in front of him.
“Why did you- What even- Is someone attacking or something?” Steve stutters, still covered in sweat.
“I thought you were playing a prank. With porn. On the tv.” Tony utters as he gestures wildly.
“On the tv? What?” Steve asks, completely baffled.
“Your phone’s connected to the wifi, you must have hit something to… stream it. On the living room tv.” Tony says, realization and horror dawning across Steve’s face.
“My porn. On the tv. Where everyone can see it.” Steve whispers, looking a bit sick.
“Well no one else is here, so really just I got to see it. Good choice in porn by the way.” He says, trying to keep the smile off his face.
“Tony, I just accidentally came out to you and that’s what you’re going to say?!” Steve shouts, looking much more intimidating than someone just caught jerking off had any right to sound.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m not good with the serious stuff.” He rambles before taking a deep breath and continuing. “It sucks that it happened this way, everyone deserves to come out how they choose to. But I know I speak for everyone on the team when I say we accept you no matter what and we just want you to be happy. And if any twink boy toy even thinks of fucking you over, all of us will kick their ass and make it look like a supervillian attack.”
“Thank you.” Steve says with a bright smile. “But uh, twinks aren’t really my type.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t help but notice, from the very brief bit I saw.” He says with a laugh. “Seems you like them tall, dark, and handsome.”
“Maybe not that tall.” Steve says quietly before looking away.
Tony’s mind takes a moment to process his comment, which apparently a second too long because Steve starts covering himself in a sheet and moving to leave.
“I’m not that tall.” Tony blurts out, internally wanting to slap himself.
Steve pauses and gives him a strange look, which is probably appropriate.
“And I love tall, hot, blondes who may also be super soldiers who accidentally stream porn and broke the toasters last week and the microwave the week before that.” He rambles.
“You have a very specific type.” Steve says with a smile, wrapping the sheet around his waist and walking towards him.
“I do, its kind of a bitch.” Tony says with a smile, leaning his chin up towards Steve.
“Language.” Steve says softly before leaning down and kissing him. And suddenly his arms are wrapped around him and he can’t help but run his hands over Steve’s toned shoulders and waist and oh my gosh this man is hot.
Tony pulls back slightly to catch and breath when his brain shoves a thought to the forefront of his mind.
“And I could totally be a twink!” He shouts with indignation, pulling away slightly to glare at the other man.
Steve just laughs and pulls him back closer to him, “Tony, you’re way too old to be a twink.”
“If you want to start talking about ages-“ He starts to say as Steve pulls him into another kiss.
Thank gosh Steve sucks at technology.