Growing Pains
Mother and son do a great deal of their own growing. Everyone tells Christina that she wears motherhood well. She is fierce, a lion, a protective mama bear. After her son is born, she closes ranks and bares her teeth. Nothing will bring harm to her son, the only piece of Winter that she has left. Following her maternity leave, before returning to work, the new mother interviews a slew of nanny's— all of whom are run through a thorough background check. The most important factor for Christina? That they have no existing ties to Hydra.
Now that Jamie's been born, it means the risk of someone discovering who his father is, is an ever present threat. Ultimately she hires one of Deja's aunts, Cecile. A sweet woman in her forties, who's children are already grown and in college. She knows that Cecile can be trusted, having been friends with Deja for many years, she's known her aunt for some time as well. Christina returns to work with that same renewed fire, motherhood hadn't softened her, as some expected. Instead she's all the stronger for it, blazingly intimidating, even as she balances fixing and parenting. Everyone is pretty impressed, but still she wonders if she's doing everything right.
James Kennedy Pierce is a quiet child in those first few months, which worries his mother. He rarely cries or fusses, unless he's wet or uncomfortable. Christina wonders if maybe this has something to do with his father being a genetically engineered super soldier, what if that affected her son's own genetic make up? Would it make him any different from other children? Christina doesn't know, she's flying blind on this as a first time parent and having to do it alone burns her heart, makes her long for Winter.
Luckily she has many who are happy to assist her. Cecile is a blessing, looking after Jamie, cleaning up the home, even cooking meals on the nights Christina is running late and she pays her generously for it. Cecile is like the mother she'd had lost years before. Deja is always more than willing to help with Jamie, an excited auntie and godmother to the newborn. Aarav loves looking after the infant, always ready to spend guy time with the little man. Even Rumlow is a great help, though he isn't very good with children at all. He— thankfully— keeps the child at arm's length, instead looking after his friend. Brock is always willing to run errands for her, happy to look into household problems, and any other favors she asks of him. He often finds himself buying diapers or groceries, paying her bills. Plumbing problem? Call Brock. Car troubles? Call Brock. Luckily, he'd rather be doing favors than babysitting.
It's good for Christina too, because she tries to distance herself from her Hydra ties. Admittedly, Rumlow is one of her closest friends, so it's hard for her to remove him from the equation. And Alexander Pierce— the leader of Hydra— is of course, her father. She can't cut ties with him even if she tried. She tries to tell herself it's because he's her blood, the only member of her family that she's close to, but she knows the true reason is because she knows too much. The young woman knows about Hydra, about their sleeper agents inside of S.H.I.E.L.D., about their classified locations, and their top secret Asset. There's no way her father would ever let her be free, especially if he were to learn that the Winter Soldier fathered her son. But, that doesn't mean she doesn't make an effort to keep Jamie from him.
Christina makes sure that her father, or any Hydra agent really, is left alone with her son. Little Jamie comes along with her when she goes to the Triskelion, when she has lunches with her father, when she visits his home, but she always makes an active effort to leave nothing behind that one could procure a DNA test from. And, her father notices nothing. Secretary Pierce is busy man, the work never ends for him, and when he isn't handling his business with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the World Security Council, he's running Hydra. So it isn't too hard to keep his grandson from him.
Many months later everything is going swimmingly for Christina. She's is killing it at work, Cecile is gift to the little family of two, with the new year Deja and Aarav announced the coming of their own bundle of joy, and Jamie is developing like any normal child would. As times goes by, the emptiness left by his father's absence dulls. There was a time she'd thought the ache would never go away, but with time everything seems to become normal, even without Winter there with them. But, that doesn't mean she forgets about him.
Strutting into the Triskelion with Jamie balanced on her hip, the blonde arrives for yet another brunch with her father. That day Alexander Pierce is busy meeting with people on the mysterious Project Insight and Rumlow is away with the S.T.R.I.K.E. team on a mission, so Christina busies the pair of them in the headquarter's lobby.
In every S.H.I.E.L.D. facility there's a memorial to agents lost in the line of duty. The Wall of Valor, it's called. Waiting for her father, Christina finds herself standing in front of it. She reads the dedication, in honor of the members of S.H.I.E.L.D. who gave their lives in the service of humanity. Christina shifts her son in her arms, throat tightening as she tries to swallow down the tears that threaten to fall. 'Wars may be fought with weapons, but are won or lost by men', a quote by General George S. Patton.
Standing before the first panel, marked between 1941 through 1965, Christina's eye automatically find Winter's true name, labelled beneath the agency's original emblem. Her fingers twitch, longing to reach out. Christina doesn't resist the urge, lifting her free arm to trace her fingertips over the letters of his name. God, does she miss him, but still manages to find herself giggling when little Jamie leans out toward the memorial, his little arm outstretched to mimic his mother.
Tiny hands press against his father's name, gurgling and cooing as he curiously touches the engraving as Christina had. The blonde chuckles, bouncing her son on her hip, "That's your daddy," she murmurs quietly into the infant's ear, though she knows he won't understand. The swelling pride and sorrow mingle together in a miserable mass in her gut, watching her little boy trace his little hands over the name of his absent father. It breaks her heart.
Captain Rogers marches through the lobby of the Triskelion, toward the security bypass gate, when he spots the Secretary's daughter, dressed in a chevron patterned cardigan, a white blouse, and pleather textured pants, looking like someone from a magazine, even with her nine month old son propped up on her hip. The pair stand before the Wall of Valor memorial. Christina Pierce is a curious woman, having no professional connection to S.H.I.E.L.D. or even to the World Security Council— merely her personal relationships with Rumlow and her father— yet she can often be found at the headquarters.
He watches for a moment as she reads over the memorial, lingering in front of the first paneling and tracing her fingers over a particular name. His best friend's name. Steve is barely aware of his feet carrying him to the memorial as he watches the little boy mimic his mother, tiny hands reaching out and touching Bucky's engraving on the dedication. He watches to woman murmuring to her son, too far away to listen despite his enhanced hearing.
"He was a good man," Steve finds himself blurting out, coming to stand beside Christina and her little boy. Christina nearly jumps, startled by his sudden appearance. Glancing from Captain America to Winter's name on the memorial, she nods and then steals a look at her curious infant. "I know," she says fondly, almost as if she'd known him too. Steve feels a curious prick in his gut, watching the sad expression that greets her face, but it's gone almost as quickly as it came. The new mother raises her gaze to the Avenger, offering an explanation, "History told his story." At least what's known of it.
Rogers nods, looking to her dark haired, blue eyed son, who looks little like his mother. Steve loves children and the nine month old baby has finally directed his attention away from the Wall of Valor. "Nice to finally meet this little guy," the Super Soldier grins, waving down at the adorable child. His big, steel blue eyes take in Captain America, blinking with curiosity before tucking back into his mother's chest, suddenly shy.
Christina and Rogers chuckle, watching the little boy peek over his mother's arm at the superhero and then duck his face to hide again. "Yeah," the new mother laughs, "This is James Kennedy and he's a little shy," Christina shifts the infant in her arms, trying to turn him toward the man. "Say hi, Jamie." She giggles, although the baby isn't near speaking sentences yet. Steve grins, waving to the little guy. "Hey, buddy." He greets, his only reply is quiet cooing and a turned face.
It's an early April morning when Christina finds herself waking anxiously to the cries of her son. The single mother rolls out of bed, yanking her grey cotton robe over her satin pajamas. Cecile is there early that morning, Christina finds her cooking breakfast, following the sound of Jamie's cries. Rumlow stands in the kitchen, bouncing the squirming child in his big, tree trunk arms. Since learning to walk the little boy had become too antsy to sit still for long periods and needed constant supervision when playing. Jamie is 12 months old now, his first birthday only weeks away, as it's only the first week of April.
Christina gives the double agent a curious, almost suspicious gaze, one eyebrow arched as she scoops up her blubbering son. "You're terrible with children, Brock." She chides, patting Jamie's back. He raises his hands in defense before walking over to fetch the boy's bottle. "Look, I warned Mrs. Durand it was a bad idea, but she needed free hands to make breakfast." Brock passes it to the blonde and the crying quickly subsides as Jamie gobbles up the nipple of the little blue bottle. He'd merely wanted milk.
Brock shakes his head at the boy, sitting down on the stools at the end of the kitchen island. "He isn't a fussy kid, but he never complies with me," he laughs, but isn't all that hurt over it. He prefers to keep his distance from small children and Christina likes it better that he isn't too close with her son. Her effort to keep Hydra from her child is only compromised by Rumlow and her father after all.
"What brings you over so early?" She questions, greeting Cecile before sitting down beside Brock, with Jamie perched on her lap. The infant glances around curiously, watching his nanny cook as he drinks down his milk without a fuss. "Your dad called you in, he's got some work related things he wants to discuss. He wanted me to bring you in." So following breakfast she turns her son over to Cecile and makes her way up stairs to get dressed. It's still a bit chilly, even for spring, so Christina dons a grey sweater, pleather pants, and a pair of black pumps before leaving with Rumlow for The Vault.
The meeting, it turns out, is about her work at Valkyrie Consultants. Apparently someone who'd crossed Hydra planned to hire a fixer from her firm and Alexander Pierce wants her to see to it that he's rejected. Christina is reluctant to help, but sees this to be the best option. After all if she refused then this person would become associated with the firm, effectively tangling them up with Hydra. She decide it better to comply and agrees that whoever this person is, Valkyrie won't accept their case.
Christina is preparing to leave her father's office, when a Russian team member bursts into his office, informing him in Russian that the Asset has arrived from transport and is being escorted to the observation bay to await inspection. The woman's heart thuds down into her gut, the sound of a record scratching playing in her ears, her eyes going wide, and her body going rigid. Winter is back! Her heart rate spikes at merely the thought.
She should leave, should march down the hallway, into the elevator and go home to her son. But Winter is back, the father of her only child, the love of her life, the only man she'd ever cared for to the extent that she'd give it all for him. Christina doesn't leave, she follows her father through the corridor and into the observation bay. A wave of déjà vu washes over as she looks through the observation window.
The Winter Soldier is seated in the treatment chair, surrounded by quietly humming machines, an armed agent guarding the door. He's dressed in the same black canvas and leather tactical gear that he usually wears, the leather mask secured over the lower half of his face, like a muzzle. The Asset is stiff in his seat, his posture as rigid as the first time she'd seen him here. Like that day, he's clearly on guard, ready for a fight, and staring right at her through the clear glass window.
The Russians and her father are discussing something, Christina only understands half of it. Partially because their speaking too quickly in a language she's out of practice in and partially because she's lost in the Soldier's ice blue eyes. Excitement, and longing, and unbridled love radiating off of her like a damn heater. When the agents, the doctor, the scientists, and her father file out she quietly, slowly enters the observation room, careful not to startle him in anyway.
The Winter Soldier sits upright, fixed and stiff as a rod as she gingerly approaches him. He's looking at her, unblinking and unyielding, his eyes so blindingly blue in contrast to the black mask plastered over his mouth. They have a wild look to them, untamed and yet the pretty blonde marches up to him unflinchingly and reaches up to remove the leather muzzle.
Silver shoots out instantaneously, a blur before her eyes, and then his cybernetic hand is latched around her delicate throat, hindering her breathing as it clamps down on her windpipe. Christina freezes, panicking as she reaches up to grip his cold, metal wrist in protest. She tries to suck in a breath, whining soundlessly as her once-lover looks up at her from his seat in the treatment chair, his eyes dead and cold, unfeeling. "Please," she mouths, a tear streaking down her cheek as she tugs at his arm pleadingly.
After an almost thoughtful moment the Winter Soldier releases her and Christina stumbles back, air flooding her lungs so suddenly it has her coughing uncontrollably. Crystalline tears escaping the corners of her eyes as she looks on his in heartbroken terror. No recognition shows in the steel blue-grey irises and it shatters Christina's heart. When she's able to breathe once more, she glances at his statuesque expression, anguished as she asks, "You don't remember me?"
The Winter Soldier looks on her with no emotion, feeling nothing as he opens his mouth and answers with a simple, "Nyet," No. So, her lover was gone. Her eyebrows become pinched, biting her quivering lip to stop a sob from escaping, and she nods hopelessly, grief stricken and inconsolable. Christina slips out of the observation room and the Asset doesn't stop her, he doesn't even try. The assassin doesn't understand what's going on, but a sickening ache settles in the core of him, as he watches the devastated blonde depart, without so much as blinking at her.
Hiding away in a random restroom, Christina collapses to the tile under the weight of her fear and sorrow. She muffles her sobs in her palm, but can't stop the tears no matter how hard she tries. The Asset hadn't remembered her. He'd clamped that cold, metal weapon over her throat and had no qualms with ending her life. Winter didn't know her anymore. Christina falls apart.