"We would be a good pair." The boy insisted.
"No." she refused once more, eyes focused on the brown carpet of the apartment.
"Why?" he asked confused.
"Because I'll break your heart." she hissed.
"How could an angel break my heart?"
"I'm nothing like an angel, Tommy." she hesitated "How can you say I am something like that?"
"Because you are." "I am a mess."You're unique." "I am n..." she tried to refuse. "Shhh." he interrupted. "You don’t have any idea, don’t you?” The girl moved her head confused, but she didn’t say anything. “You’re beautiful, Kate. But I’m not talking about usual beauty. There’s a lot of people beautiful, y’know, but there’s no one like you.” he paused to catch his breath, as he looked to her eyes. “Y’know, the first time I saw you…” “When we got you out from Juvie.” “When I escaped from Juvie, yes… This first time I saw you, I knew. It just came to me like a punch. We were on opposite sides, you, trying to get me, and I, well, running as fast as my legs let me, no powers, your courtesy by the way.” She grinned, but the gesture was almost imperceptible. “When I saw you I just knew I had to make you mine. All I wanted was to bang you, no offense. And then the whole team showed up, Eli showed up. But the feeling just increased. You asked me to join your little squad against the bad guys and I accepted, anything to be near that mysterious girl of the purple arrows. As long as time passed, the feeling didn’t vanished, but my brain said ‘no’. ‘No’ to risking everything you gave, ‘no’ to be back on the streets, ‘no’ to lose Billy. And then, suddenly a opportunity showed up, you were angry, there wasn’t any Eli staff around, so I just thought ‘What the hell, Tommy? Move!’ And I did. I asked you out. To that club. The plan was easy, the same plan like with any other girl. Just you weren’t any other girl y’know. As time passed, my plan faded, and you kept talking me about your problems. You were mad, frustrated. And somehow, your madness, your frustration, became mine. I… I thought that plan, remember? Broke in the house of the man that hurt you, that stole your name, and prove him you’re better. I had no reason why. I didn’t have any reason to help it, but you. When you jumped on me I knew. The way my skin burn with the contact of yours, me carrying you bride-style through New York’s streets. It was like a drug, I guess. And when I put you down I just needed more, and I took it. I thought it’ll be enough, a kiss. Making-out. And then all over. But I swear on my speed that it was the biggest time in my life. It… it was estatic. It wasn’t my first, and neither yours, of course. But it feel… it feel from another planet. Strange coming from a mutant, I guess. Then I realize, I had to get out of there.” “You left me on that apartment, Tommy.” She got to mumble, fighting the tears that started to accrue on her blue eyes. “I had to. I… I am really sorry for that, Kate. I really am. But if I hadn’t gone, I don’t know what would have happened. I dunno how far I could go before I’d be able to stop, Kate. I… I didn’t want ‘it’ to be just a ‘sleepover’ night. Suddenly all the doubts, all the regrets I refused to have before, them crawled my mind. Even how much I wanted it, how much I wanted you, I had to told myself to stop. ‘No’ for Eli. ‘No’ for the team. ‘No’ after ‘no’.” he shrugged and took a deep breath. “It was also a ‘no’ to lose you, Katie-Kate. I would have put your life upside down. Anything I felt in that kiss, it would have crashed any opportunity in the future. You probably wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I’m sorry, but in that elevator I’ve realised you weren’t just another girl to hook up with, I’ve realised I didn’t want you to be only that, or just as a friend. I wanted you, in any form I’ve ever wanted anyone, and it freaked me out, that and the stupid consequences.” he paused “I’ve been with a lots of girls, Katie, we both know that. But none of them made me feel a damn scrap of what you make me feel.” he stopped, his eyes fixed on his hands, his eyes hiding from hers. “You’re an idiot.” she answered, trembling.
When he looked up, she found her turning her back on him, slightly shaking.
“You’re a total idiot, y’know.” she repeated sniffing, as she turned back to look at him. Tears rolled down her face. Grey little paths all over her cheeks. repeatedly
“You… you’re crying?” he asked confused. “Of course I’m crying, you moron! This… That was the most beautiful anyone has ever said to me…” she cleaned her cheeks with the palm of her hand, blurring even more her makeup. “Damn it, Thomas!” “You only call me Thomas when you’re angry.” he mocked. “I am.” “I thought it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to you.” he continued. “That’s right. But…” “But?” “Stop it.” she hissed “But it’s you, you don’t do feelings. You literally run away from them as fast as you can. No feelings, no problems, remember?” “You’re right. I don’t do feelings, except with you.” “Why, Tommy?” “Have you been listening?” he laughed “Do I have to start over or..:?” “Don’t.” she sighed “Tommy… I don’t want you to be hurt, don’t you get it?” “I won’t.” “I’ll have your heart broken.” “Again, how could an angel…” he started “I’m not such thing.” she interrupted. “Well, then, how could a hawk break my heart?” “Tommy.” she said giving him a killer look. “Enough.” she sighed again. “I’m not worthy.” “You sound like Thor.” Another killing look. “You’re an incredible guy. You’re funny, and smart, at least sometimes. You have a heart of gold, and even when you don’t want to show it, you care. You care so deep. And that’s why we can’t be together. I’m a brat. I’m selfish, and stubborn, and I put myself upon the rest. My heart is a mess, y’see. I’d let down Eli so many times. He loved me and he wanted me to feel that way about him but I was to damn worried about appearances and work and my life outside the Assemble I didn’t figure out how I felt about him. I didn’t even want to. I wasn’t in love with Eli. Of course, I liked him, but love? Nah. I didn’t try either. I didn’t care enough, and I probably won’t ever do it. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want to hurt you the same way I hurt Eli. I care about you, I have to protect you from myself.” “You didn’t hurt Eli, Kate. It was meant to be over.” “I broke up with him when he said he loved me. I was a bitch.” “I don’t see it that way.” “What?” “You let him go, instead of lying him, making him wait for you. You set him free. You were good.” “Since when you are the wise magic man of love, Thomas Shepherd?” “Since he told me you left him because you thought you liked someone else. Since, and I quote, you thought you ‘may be falling for someone and you didn’t want to hurt him more.” “How…? What?” “Is it accurate to say this ‘someone’ was (or is) me?” “What? No. Why… why do you know that?” she mumbled. “And importantly, why do you think that?” “Numbers sweetheart. How many guys have you been with, or banged since your rupture with Eli?” “There’s…. Mmm…” she looked to the ceiling thoughtful. “There’s… There’s Noh.” “Oh, right, the other white-haired weirdo who usually is dress up in green. Can’t see any resemblance.” “Shut up.” she babbled. “Any other?” “Don’t you know the answer?” “I want you to say it.” “Fine. There’s this huge pain in the ass who answers by the name of Speed and also destroys my apartment when he crashes in. Happy?” “It’ll serve.” he took a lock of her hair and placed it behind her left ear, then with the same hand he pressed her chin, lifting her head up. “So, why not?” “I don’t want you to be hurt.” “And what about you? Wouldn’t you?” “I don’t matter. I’m not worthy.” “Enough with the Thor line, Hawkingirl. You’re saying, do you care about my feelings more than yours?” she looked at him confused, then nodded. “Maybe.” “You also said you will hurt me because you don’t like to figure out feelings, that you’ll hurt me because you don’t know how you feel about me?” “I… I think so.” “I will follow you to the darkest mission, Hawkgirl. Not questioning. I will do anything for you, and I will never make anything to hurt you. Because I care about you. More than I care about my own fate.” he breath deeply and kept talking. “Because I love you. And I don’t want you to avoid doing anything you want for being scared of breaking my heart.” “But I wi…” “You will never break my heart because without you it’s not even a thing. It’s avoid, just emptiness in my chest. It changed when I met you, and even if it hurt me like hell, I have a heart because you gave me one.” “Tommy…” “I don’t want you to say nothing. Neither admit anything. Not now. Just have it on mind, the next time I asked… Or something.” “Or something.” he started to walk to the door, slowest than ever, as she kept fighting opposite thoughts in her mind.
“Tommy…” she said following him and grabbing his arm. “I’m not good at words, I… I.” she paused. “ I’m not good at feelings.” she added. “What does that suppose to mean, Katie?” he asked kindly, forcing a little smile on his face. “It means that you’re giving all you in us, whatever ‘us’ means, while I’m stucked in my own apartment sucking at loving you.” “Ka… Kate?” he asked with bright eyes. “Di…” “I love you, idiot. Of, course I do. It’s… I’m just so unaccustomed to love, to long-lasting happiness… I don’t want to ruin what we have. All this…“ she continued, exaggeratedly gesculating with her hands, drawing a circle. “I don’t want us to end in ruins.” “You’re talking to me, about ruining things?” “I’m a…” “You’re a mess, I’m a mess. Let’s mess up things together.” “I…” “You love me, I love you.” he interrupted “Stop thinking. That’s how you start feeling. Don’t you want to find out?” “Oh, sorry Mr Expert.” “Shut up, foolish.”he said pushing her gentle. “I can’t stop thinking, I know you’re accustomed to it, but everytime I try something goes wrong.” “Then I’ll have to stop you, babe. *She hates when he treats her of ‘babe’* You just have to stop. Let’s see who win war, brain or heart.” “What are y…” but before she finished, the boy shattered the distance between them in a microsecond, placing his right hand on the down of her back and the other one above her right cheek, his lips pressed against hers.
She didn’t moved aside, nor cut the kissed. She followed it. Her hands climbing over his skinny-muscled back to his shoulders, wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer.
Their mouths moved rhythmically, devouring each other’s like if they were dying from hunger or had being reunited since a long period. She didn’t wanted to stop, her mind completely blank. No worries, no consequences. Neither did he. But finally they had to cease it to get back their breath.
Their rest pressing their foreheads, his hands now in her hips and hers firmly tied around his toraz. Her ocean-blue eyes diving on his leaf-greens. She bitted her lips, trying to control a half smile that showed up anyway.
“I think we have an answer.” she said, breaking the silence, still hardly breathing. “Have we?” he asked with the emotion reflected on his bright eyes. She nodded, grinning.
Then, with no words, the boy passed a hand through his white-silvered hair, putting his short fringe back while he kneeled down his right knee. Then he grabbed her hand.
“Would you honor me, with the pride of being able to call you my former girlfriend?” he asked at her confusion. “I…” she mumbled. “I do.” she finished with a big smile across her face. “But” she added before he could get up from the apartment floor. “Don’t you ever kneel before me again.” she mocked. “Unless our clothes are off.” “That’s my girl!” he smiled getting up and taking her up on his arms, rising her a few inches from the ground. Their foreheads touching again. And they kissed, a warmer, calmer kiss. Without hurries. A love kiss, a clean start from what was coming.
And they smiled, relieved from all concern and pain.