Vash found himself sleeping in the desert a lot. Oftentimes, he would just drop his bag and fall asleep wherever he found himself as the second sun began to set. The giant didn’t really mind the chill that blanketed the empty dunes of Gunsmoke every night, and besides, what else was he gonna do? Find a town and rent a room for the night?
Sure, it was lonely, but Vash had made good company out of loneliness. Or at least, he tried to, because what else could he do? He’d be driven insane if he didn’t distract himself from the constant longing for connection. The ache he felt every time he had passed by a bustling town full of humans, knowing he could never get to feel what it was like to be a face lost in that crowd was a pain Vash had felt for long enough now that he had become almost numb to it. Almost.
These feelings of loneliness made it pretty ironic that Vash was trying so hard to shake these lovable freeloaders he found himself saddled with, but god could they whine.
“Uhhg!” Meryl groaned, finally sitting up from the sand after having tossed and turned for about 20 minutes, keeping everyone else awake with her.
Milly and Wolfwood stirred as well. They had both been huddling close together for warmth, but judging by their shivering, it seems they weren’t getting very far with that strategy.
“Vash!” Meryl shouted.
“Whaaaaat?” Vash responded with an over exaggerated annoyance. He turned over as he did; slowly, of course, as he checked to make sure nobody was too close to risk being rolled over.
“How the hell do you sleep out in this cold?! It’s freezing out here!” By now, Meryl was standing up, and she had stomped right up to Vash’s face.
He just regarded her with an annoyed look.
Frankly, it was because he didn’t trust himself around large towns in an unconscious state of mind. But he wasn’t about to get into why. So he just shrugged instead.
“It’s probably not as much of a problem for me ‘cause of my size. I can retain more body heat or something.” He had no idea if that was true, actually. If anything, it was more likely his higher body temperature came from him being an interdimensional being prophesied in the book of god, but he wasn’t going to get into that either.
Suddenly, Wolfwood butted into the conversation. “So what, we’ve all gotta freeze our asses off cause you’d prefer to sleep out in the desert like a sandworm?”
“If you’re cold, you should probably go back to that town we passed by an isle back. I saw a few hotels in the square.” Vash responded. He meant what he said; he knew humans were sensitive to the cold nights of gunsmoke, and he didn’t want any of them to get hurt. But besides that, he was still gunning for the shot at getting them off his trail by adding some distance.
Meryl and Wolfwood’s both looked at each other, then back at Vash, equally as unimpressed.
“You’d have an easier time getting rid of us if you buried us in the sand, you know.” Meryl said.
Damn.
Vash sighed exasperatedly, making a point to breath out hard enough that it ruffled at both humans' hair.
“Hey, come on you guys! It’s not so bad!” Oh thank god; Milly weaved her way between Meryl and Wolfwood like Vash’s hero, putting one hand around Wolfwood’s shoulder and the other around Meryl’s waist. “I bet if we all huddled together, we’d be just fine!”
Meryl and Wolfwood both looked at each other with the same level of awkward disgust. It had been made perfectly clear before that Meryl and Wolfwood would rather kill themselves before sharing a bed together. But that was the neat part; they didn’t even have a bed to share!
They both groaned at the same time. (Vash ignored how warm it made his chest to see the two of them acting so similar) and allowed Milly to drag them back to the ground. All three of them cuddled together, with Milly in the middle of Meryl and Wolfwood acting as a (mostly) metaphorical brick wall between them. Vash laid himself back down, his arms tucked underneath the back of his head, and soon, everything was silent in the indigo hue of the desert.
For about five minutes.
“Okay, fuck this.” Vash heard Meryl say.
Vash ignored her, trying his best to fall asleep anyways. So much so, that he didn’t hear her stand up and begin to walk towards him.
But he felt something; barely perceptible until it was right on top of him; a near featherlight weight against his chest.
Confused, Vash opened his eyes to find Meryl on him, trying to keep from tripping over the folds of his duster.
Vash nearly had a conniption but he handled it like a champ. His whole body jerked an ich, but seeing Meryl lose her balance and stumble into a heap made him go painfully still.
“Wh… what are you doing?” Vash demanded, his voice revealing a mixture of shock, confusion and fear.
Meryl just glared at him, clearly angry to have been disturbed.
“What’s it look like I’m doing?” She retorted. “It’s no fair that you get to be warm while we freeze to death!”
Vash was incredulous as he stared at the girl. He tried to gauge if she was joking or not, but only saw that same grumpy resolve she always wore. Was she crazy? Sure, of course she was. Vash had surmised a long time ago that all three of them had to be batshit to be following The Humanoid Typhoon around, to fall asleep right next to him every night, was already way too risky for Vash's liking, but to do so right on top of him?
How could Meryl not be afraid to do this? The question was stuck in his throat, but all that came out was a meek “but…” as Vash tried to protest.
“No buts!” Meryl cut him off quickly and efficiently. “You’ve got to share your “body heat” with the rest of us!!” She emphasized Vash’s earlier excuse with mock quotations.
“That’s…. You shouldn’t…” he tried again.
“Hey, short stuff’s right!” Wolfwood interrupted. “Why hoof it to a hotel when we’ve got the world’s biggest space heater right here!”
“Huh?” Vash tried to see what Wolfwood was doing, hearing the man speak close to his face. Wherever he was, Vash couldn’t see him, and there was no way he was going to try and move to find him with Meryl still on his chest.
Suddenly, Vash felt an ice cold pressure against his neck, and he yelped like a little girl.
“Coldcoldcold!!!” Vash whined, gritting his teeth and curling his toes to resist jerking away from Wolfwood, who had just gotten himself comfortable sitting against the giant’s neck.
“I told you we were freezing!!” Meryl shouted.
“Yeah, listen to your woman!” Wolfwood piped in.
“Don’t call me his woman!” Meryl barked.
“Both of you, just-!” Vash tried to cut in, voice strangled.
“Ohh, you’re both right! Mister Vash, you are warm!!” Milly suddenly joined in with a giggle.
“Shit.” Vash hissed. “Where the hell is she?”
“In your pocket, Mister Vash!” Milly responded cheerily, if not a little muffled by the thick material of his duster’s pocket.
“Hey, good idea honey!” Wolfwood called down to Milly.
“Lord knows you have enough pockets on this gaudy jacket of yours…” Meryl muttered snidely.
Vash wanted to die right about then.
…
It was already pretty laughable that Vash couldn’t get these humans to leave him alone, but this was on a whole other level of pathetic.
He didn’t know how he could let himself be walked all over like this, by people who were no taller than his fingers, at that. Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood were all snuggled up to Vash like kittens crowding their mama for warmth, sleeping more blissfully than he had ever seen of the three.
Vash had given up the hopes of catching even a wink of sleep a while ago. How in the world could he? What if he rolled over in his sleep and crushed someone? What if he had a nightmare and hurt one of them? What if he hurt all of them? How could he find the peace of mind to fall asleep with all those anxieties clouding his brain? And most importantly…
How could they?
Vash had wandered this planet on his own for so many decades now. Out in the open expanse of desert, it was easy for him to forget himself, to forget how much he towered over the little humans and their little towns. It was like he could almost convince himself that he was normal.
Traveling alone for so long made it all the more unnerving now that he suddenly had three humans following him like lost puppies. He played it off like he was merely irritated by their stubborn persistence, but really, it made Vash unendingly paranoid to have humans so close to him all the time. When you see a typhoon coming, you run the opposite direction, right? It was just a natural instinct to avoid that kind of danger.
But Meryl, Milly, and Wolfwood didn’t. They ran right towards him and slept like they were under a blanket of stars instead of a roiling thunderstorm. This wasn’t the first time they had instigated this kind of physical… affection? With Vash, either, and that unsettled him too. The man made a point to never touch a human unless he absolutely needed to, and 90 percent of the time, anybody he’d met in his travels was just fine with that.
Vash was reminiscing now, he noticed, but he couldn’t help but think back to the humans that didn’t cringe away in fear of him, just like these three. Gruff men with hearts of gold giving him friendly pats wherever they could reach, braver-than-god old ladies standing on the tallest buildings in town just to yank on his ear, sunburned groups of children spending the best days of their lives using Vash’s entire body like a jungle gym as he remained stock-still for them, only moving to catch the odd kid that lost their footing.
No matter how many times it happened, no matter how rarely he experienced it, it was always just as terrifying and wonderful to bridge that distance he had made between himself and humanity. For their own good, he always told himself.
If it were for their own good, shouldn’t Vash be asserting that distance between Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood? Had they grown too comfortable around him?
He felt Wolfwood shift against his neck. He wasn’t as cold anymore, but his presence still weighed heavily on Vash’s mind. From the very first moment he met the man, Nicholas D. Wolfwood had never shown an ounce of fear in the presence of the behemoth Humanoid Typhoon. For all the grandiose that came with Vash’s name, Wolfwood could always see right through that facade. He knew instantly that Vash was harmless, even if Vash didn’t always believe that himself. But then, maybe having Wolfwood around was a good sort of reassurance. He almost acted like Vash was ridiculous to think he could be a threat to anybody; he had even called Vash a guardian angel once. It turned out that that was all it took for Wolfwood to slay the desert giant of gunsmoke.
As Vash’s mind wandered further into the night, he found himself moving one of his hands down, slipping into his pocket. He reached inside, searching for Milly, and the moment his fingers made contact with the sleeping girl, he felt her arms wrap around his index finger, unconsciously snuggling into it. Vash smiled despite himself. For such a big powerhouse of a girl, Milly Thompson was so gentle by nature that it inspired Vash. To have that tender kindness extended to a beast such as himself made him unendingly grateful. Sure, she and Vash had danced around the subject of their relationship with one another, but with Wolfwood constantly bickering in one of Vash’s ears while Meryl manned the other, it was nice to have such a sweet friend like Milly. No strings attached.
Meryl…
Vash’s eyes drifted down to his chest, landing on the impossibly tiny form laying there. He was glad she didn’t choose to lay right on his heart; he could imagine the metal plating grafted onto his pec would be pretty uncomfortable to sleep on, and if she could feel how fast his heart was beating right then, she’d probably throttle him for keeping her awake.
Vash smiled warmly. Meryl Stryfe was so small, even for a human, that it was funny to think she could put him in his place as often as she did. It wasn’t like she was always fearless in the presence of Vash the Stampede, but more so as though her fiery attitude overpowered any fear she did have. It was equal parts admirable and terrifying; her stubbornness worried Vash sometimes. It was impressive (and adorable, but don’t tell her) to see how headstrong and brave she was; how seriously she took her job as a means to protect people. And it wasn’t like she was helpless; she kicked a lot of ass with those derringers, but…
She was just so… terrifyingly small. And unlike her girlfriend, Meryl didn’t take a lot to go down. Watching her get hurt… It made Vash furious. It filled him with this overwhelming desire; this fiercely protective urge that defied reason. He knew she could take care of herself, but he would’ve given anything to make sure nobody ever laid an unkind hand on her.
He continued to stare down at the little human, transfixed. Then, he gingerly brought his hand up towards her. With as much painstaking restraint as he could muster, he rested his hand on top of Meryl, pressing her gently into his chest. He wanted to hold her closer; hold her tighter, but more than anything else, he didn’t want to hurt her. So this would have to do.
Vash didn’t want to hurt any of them…
But he was too dangerous, too big. He had the power to snuff out their lives so easily; to crush them under his boot or vaporize them with an angelic aura even he himself didn’t fully understand. He was the Humanoid Typhoon. To play along with these three and let him believe he was anything else wasn’t just dangerous, it was selfish of Vash. As hard as he tried to deny it, this connection, this friendship, this love, it made him feel better than he had in a hundred years drifting this planet all by himself. It made him feel human. Every time he told himself he should push them away, he couldn’t help but hold them closer; he was addicted to it. To them. He loved them. He needed them. If he hurt them, if anything happened to them, he’d-!
Meryl let out a squeak, and it was all it took for Vash to immediately come back to reality and realize his grip had tightened on the woman. He let out a shaky sigh through his nose and willed himself to calm down, releasing the tension in his hand. Thankfully, Meryl only stirred a bit before settling back down. Then, in the quiet of the empty desert, Vash’s heightened sense of sound picked up one drop in an ocean of silence.
“Vash…” Meryl sighed, her voice laced with a serene sort of bliss…
Vash took a moment, before he let another sigh that petered out into a shaky sob. He bit his lip hard, swallowing the lump in his throat. If he started blubbering like a baby now, it was sure to wake up at least one of the sleeping humans. The tidal wave of emotions that crashed down on him made it hard to breath; impossible to believe that this moment could be real. It felt too good to be true; after more than a hundred years all alone, basking from a safe distance in the light of humanity, he was finally allowed to hold a bit of that light in his own two hands.
He would not extinguish that light. He would never hurt Meryl, or Wolfwood, or Milly, and he would never let anything else in the world touch them. He’d take his entire 60 billion bounty’s worth in bullets if it meant none would land a hit on them. He’d stop an entire sand steamer with his bare hands to keep it from crushing them. He would do anything to protect them.
And if that meant keeping them warm against the frigid cold of the desert night, then maybe being snuggled like a giant teddy bear wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to Vash.
Maybe it was actually kind of nice…
Vash let out another sigh; this one long and smooth as he felt the tension melt away from his body. He folded both hands carefully over Meryl and nuzzled his cheek gently into Wolfwood. As long as he was there, nothing could touch them without first going through The Humanoid Typhoon.
A warm smile pulled at his lips, his cheeks warm as he felt the humans shift and snuggle into him. He looked up into the sky, utterly transfixed by the blanket of stars above, and for the first time in so, so long, Vash felt okay.
…
The next day, Vash’s eyes would crack open into the light of a new day. He’d feel so relaxed from a good night’s sleep, he wouldn’t even remember how hard it had been for him to fall asleep in the first place.
Or why.
Vash would sit up and send all three of the humans still sleeping on him into a blind panic. Milly would be jostled around awkwardly in the giant’s pocket, Meryl would slide all the way down his chest and into his lap, and Wolfwood would let out a string of curses before falling right down the front of Vash’s duster.
Wolfwood would still be bickering at Vash even as he was fishing the man out from his jacket, and Meryl would be right behind him. Although Vash would frantically apologize to all three of the little humans for such a rough wakeup call, he couldn’t hide the amused laughter in his voice, nor could he deny the warmth in his chest that he felt seeing his three favorite people in the world, safe and sound and happy with him.