It was snowing and the distant sound of traffic was muted. My leather shoes were thin and my feet were getting wet. When I looked down I could see the dark patches spreading across my toes.
“Jane!”
I turned my head. Alexander Pierce was on the other side of the street. He let a taxi pass and then he jogged over to where I was.
He came by the office every now and then. He was a field agent. I wasn't. I was a secretary and mostly I typed, reports and things like that.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Home.”
“Mind if I walk with you?”
I shook my head. The other girls at the office often talked about him in the ladies room. I didn't, I kept my thoughts to myself, but I listened. Secretly I agreed with everything they were saying. He was very handsome.
He fell into step with me.
“How come you don't take the bus?” he asked.
“It's not far.”
I hadn't even thought about taking the bus. I could walk, it didn't take that long and besides I was never in any hurry.
“Do you like living here?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“What do you like about it?”
I thought for a moment.
“I can walk to and from work,” I said then.
He laughed.
“You're funny, did you know that?” he said.
I was pleased that I had made him laugh, I liked the sound, but I hadn't meant to be funny.
My apartment was below street level, the door was under the set of stairs that led to the main entrance of the building. It had a back door as well.
I stopped outside. There was no one but us on the sidewalk. There were nine cars parked on this side of the street, six on the other. All of them were empty. Alex looked at my kitchen window a moment.
“Wanna invite me in, or are you busy?” he asked.
I wasn't busy. When I got home from work I usually made myself something to eat and tidied up, then I watched TV until I went to bed.
“You can come in,” I said.
He followed me to the door and I felt very conscious of his presence behind me as I unlocked the door. Inside it was dark and even though I could see perfectly well I turned on the lights, because that was what you were supposed to do.
Alex looked around, as if he found it interesting. It was a small apartment, just one room plus a bedroom.
“Why haven't you gotten some paintings or something?” he asked.
I followed his gaze to the empty walls.
“It didn't seem necessary,” I said, because it hadn't occurred to me that I could.
“Do you travel a lot?” he asked.
“No.”
He looked at me, for so long that I felt scrutinized and looked away. I didn't quite understand why he was here.
“Do you want something to eat?” I asked. “I was going to eat now, I can make some for you as well.”
He smiled. “That would be great.”
He sat by my kitchen table as I prepared the meal. It was odd to have someone else there, watching me.
We ate and when we had finished he said the food was really good. I thought the food was really good too, but I didn't say so.
“What do you usually do after dinner?” he asked.
“I do the dishes, then I watch TV.”
“Okay. Let's do that then.”
The couch was by the wall opposite the TV. Usually I sat on the middle seat, from there I had a perfect view of the TV screen and I could also see both exits. Now I adjusted my seat a few inches to the right, so that Alex could sit there too.
“This place is a little depressing,” he said. “You don't have any interest in home-decorating, whatsoever?”
When he said it I could sort of see it with his eyes a little bit. I had everything I needed in my apartment, but no decorations.
“Maybe I could buy some plants,” I said.
He smiled. “It's just an idea.”
We had been watching TV for nearly thirty minutes when he put his hand on my thigh. I could feel the warmth of his skin through the material of my skirt and my heart was beating a few beats above normal per minute, even though I hadn't exerted myself.
I didn't move. I kept my gaze on the TV.
“Jane,” he said after a moment, “look at me.”
I turned my head. His eyes were very blue. I liked that. And I liked the way his blonde hair fell onto his forehead.
“Do you understand this?” he said and slid his hand up my leg a little, stroking it. “Do you know what it means, the connotations?”
Sex. He wanted to have sex with me. I wanted him to have sex with me too.
I nodded.
He smiled a little. “No, you don't. Not really. It's just mental implants, maybe they had you watch a porno or two during programming.”
I didn't understand. I glanced at the TV.
He slipped his hand under my skirt and up along the inside of my thigh. His hand was warm.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” he said.
“Yes.”
He looked at me a moment.
“Lie down,” he said then.
Fucking was very uncomplicated. He told me to put my arms around him and then he moved his penis in and out of me. It felt kind of funny, to have a part of him inside me like that, but I liked holding him. His cheek was almost resting against mine and his breath was warm against my ear.
Afterward he sat up and buttoned his pants again. My panties were on the floor and and I picked them up and put them on. I was wet between my legs.
I had missed part of the show, but I knew I could catch up. Sometimes I seemed to have missed a lot of things on the shows, even though I watched them every day, but after a while it usually didn't matter.
“That really didn't do anything for you, did it?” Alex said.
I turned my head and looked at him.
“It was very nice,” I said.
He looked at me and shook his head.
“You have no idea what you're talking about,” he said. “I just raped you.”
I looked back at him. I didn't know what to say.
“Forget it,” he said then. “It was very nice.”
I looked at the TV. Aside from the tinny voices coming from the speaker it was quiet. I could see his jeans-clad legs out of the corner of my eye. I thought I had disappointed him somehow.
“Do you want coffee?” I asked after a little while.
He shook his head.
“We're moving you to a new location soon. Gonna upgrade that arm of yours too, Zola has some new ideas.”
He nodded towards my left arm. It was a prosthesis. It looked like a real one, but the skin felt a little rubbery to the touch.
“Will you be moving too?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I looked at him and then I reached out with my right hand and pushed his blonde fringe away from his forehead. He stared at me for a few seconds and then he gave sort of a half-chuckle.
“Do you like me, Jane?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Why?”
I couldn't explain that. I just did.
“All the girls at the office do,” I said.
“You think you're one of the girls?”
I was a girl.
“Yes.”
“You're far more than that.”
He stood up and I got up too. I was almost as tall as he was.
“Don't let anyone else fuck you,” he said.
“Okay.”
“If anyone tries, you just keep your legs closed, okay?”
I nodded.
I walked him to the door.
“Can you come visit again?” I said.
He smiled a little. “Maybe. We'll see.”
When he had left I went into the bathroom and washed off the stickiness between my legs and then I went back to the TV. I was far more than a girl.