Chapter 27
When I woke again, I nearly launched myself out of bed, almost hyperventilating as I checked to ensure I still had control over my limbs. After a few moments, I assured myself I was in my own body and in full control. As I sat there, my mind couldn’t help but linger on that dream. It had to be a dream, right? How could something like that not be a dream? It was clear I was still in my own room. I checked my arms, and there were no visible marks where the restraints had been. I took mental inventory of my body, and everything felt normal. No soreness, no pain. It had to be a dream.
But it scared me how real it had felt. How strange it was to experience other people’s emotions so vividly within a dream. The woman’s emotions, I had expected. I had been inside her mind. But the men’s emotions? I had never experienced anything like that in a dream before. And on top of that, I had never dreamed anything so detailed. I didn’t think of myself as a virgin, but when I dreamed about sex, it was always the romantic kind, with someone I at least knew. There was no delicate way to describe it—what I had experienced last night wasn’t about love. It was about raw desire, and frankly, it felt completely different from what I had ever dreamt about.
It was clear the woman whose body I had shared hadn’t minded it. She had felt safe, wanted even. But reflecting on it now, it felt… strange, almost alien. And yet, the emotions were so strong, so overpowering, that it was hard to deny how real it felt, even if I knew it was only a dream.
I was pulled back to reality when the door to my room opened, and the elder woman entered. She was surprised to find me already awake. She started our morning routine of getting me ready, helping me dress in another beautiful Elven-style dress. This time, it was a light blue color.
As she reached for the circlet, I couldn’t help but frown, and she saw it.
“My princess, you already wore this in public yesterday,” she said softly. “It would only raise more questions if you do not wear it today,” she added.
Instantly, I felt my anger flare. I hated what Muriel had instigated. It was clear she had known what it represented when he gave it to me, but I knew it wasn’t fair to take my anger out on her. It wouldn’t have been her place to comment on something like that. I nodded, and she placed the circlet in my hair. I was ready.
I knew for sure Yara would have commented on it straight away if this had happened in Asgard. I instantly missed her and hated not being able to bring her along.
There was a knock on my door, and the elder woman went to open it. I lingered back in my bedroom, hoping it wouldn’t be Muriel. I had no appetite for arguing with him this early in the morning.
When she came back into the bedroom, she announced that I had a visitor. When I asked who it was, she told me that it was Loki. I was glad for it and made my way to the reception room.
“Princess Aurora, I was wondering if you wanted to see more of the palace before breakfast?” he politely asked.
I smiled at the fake formalities between us. “Yes, Prince Loki, I would like that.”
He motioned toward the door, and I followed. We walked around the palace, and Loki showed me the beautiful places he knew from the time he had lived here. I couldn’t help but be distracted, still thinking about my strange night, and, of course, Loki noticed.
“Is everything alright?” he asked softly. “You were quite upset last night when you asked Thor to take you back to your room.”
I could feel a bit of jealousy come from him, and I knew he hadn’t liked the fact that I had asked Thor to escort me back and not him. I just couldn’t deal with him and Muriel last night. If I had asked him, I was sure it would have led to some form jealousy from Muriel.
I gave him a wry smile. “I’m fine now,” I assured him. “I had a very weird and strange dream last night, and it left me a bit shaken,” I tried to explain.
Instantly, Loki stiffened beside me and came to a full stop. “You had a strange dream?” He asked.
I nodded, suddenly unsure about even wanting to discuss this with him. It wasn’t like I wanted to explain what I had dreamt last night. I really hoped he wouldn’t ask.
Suddenly, I felt a tingle at the back of my neck. “Aurora, what was this dream about?” His voice rang inside my mind.
I felt that he was uncomfortable and apprehensive. This made me feel even more uncomfortable then i already was, and I couldn’t help but blush as I looked at him. I really didn’t want to tell him, and it was clear that he could feel my discomfort and a tiny bit of shame. I blushed profusely, and I saw his eyes grow wide in some form of realization. He took my hand and almost marched me down a few corridors. I was so confused I didn’t even ask where we were going.
After a few turns, he opened a small door, and after making sure nobody saw us, he ushered me inside. It looked like we were in a small, unused bedroom. It was mostly empty except for the basic furniture, and clearly hadn’t been used in a long time. Loki sat me down on the bed and kneeled in front of me. I saw him move his hand and mutter a few words. There was a tingle of magic, and I knew he had performed some kind of spell.
“Aurora, please. I could feel you when I mentioned the dream. I know this will make you uncomfortable, but trust me when I say I have a reason for needing to know.” He gently squeezed my hand. “I shielded the room against anybody listening or walking in. Please, tell me what the dream was about.”
I looked away, and I was glad that he had spelled the room. This way, we could talk without using our link. He at least wouldn’t feel my embarrassment about what I was going to tell him. I knew Loki well enough to know he had a good reason for asking this. Also, I trusted him enough to tell, but looking him in the eye while talking about it... Ugh, it made my stomach turn. So, I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. I tried to focus on the floor as I began my narrative.
“It was such a strange dream,” I started softly, and I could feel him tense. “I felt like I was stuck in another person’s body.” I paused, unsure of how to explain further. “I could feel everything she was feeling, but I couldn’t... I was just stuck inside her mind. I only moved as she moved. Like I said, I could feel everything she felt, and then her emotions became overwhelming, it was hard to distinguish between her and myself. It felt like everything that happened was happening to me and not just her. I couldn’t do anything though. I was just there for the ride. The weird thing was that I did seem to have use of my empathic ability. So, I wasn’t just feeling her emotions, but also those of the others.”
Loki ground his teeth. “There were others?” he managed to get out.
This made me look at him, and I could clearly see that what I was saying was upsetting him.
“Yes,” I said, my voice a little shaky. “I felt like I was in a woman’s body, but I know for sure that there were two men also in the dream.”
Loki sucked in a large breath. “Did you recognize any of them?” he asked, fear clear in his voice, and I could feel it come from him too.
I looked at him, and I could see his eyes were big and intense. They were full of something I couldn’t really put my finger on, and I had to look away. Loki moved closer, still on his knees in front of me, and gently made me look back at him.
“Aurora, please answer me,” he pleaded. “Did you see the men in your dream? Did you recognize them?”
“I vaguely saw them in the end, but her vision was blurred, and I didn’t get a chance to see them properly. You see, at first my hands were bound and attached to something above my head, and I was blindfolded for most of the time, so…”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I could see Loki pale and fall backward onto the ground as he stared at me. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. I could feel a lot of deep emotions race through him. He was ashamed, scared, and angry all at the same time, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. The whole thing made me want to cry because I didn’t know what to do. Normally, we would hug and calm down, but this whole situation was beyond weird. I really didn’t know why he was having such a meltdown over what I told him. I hadn’t even gotten to the embarrassing part of the dream yet. The weirdness only grew as he just stared at me with a combined look of shock and horror.
“Loki, what is it? What is wrong?” I asked with a shaky voice, ridiculously close to tears.
He shook his head, and I knew he was trying to find the words to answer me, but he came up blank. He took a deep breath, and it was as if he had made some sort of decision. He crawled backward until his back was resting against the wall opposite from me. It was like he was putting as much room between us as he possibly could.
I could feel his horror and apprehension rise. “I don’t know why you had this dream,” he started, but then fell silent again.
I just sat there, feeling his guilt and shame build. I could see he was at war with himself. I desperately wanted to go to him and hug him, but the way he had distanced himself from me made it so that I didn’t dare. It was immensely awkward, but we just sat there.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally continued. “Aurora, it seems that we had the same dream.” He looked up to see my reaction.
My eyes went wide. “You had the same dream?” I cried out, my voice an octave higher than it normally was. I looked at him, and he nodded. “You also had a dream where you were blindfolded, bound, and I guess drugged?” I asked again, not believing my ears.
This time, Loki shook his head, and there was a surge of guilt and shame. “No, while I had the same dream, I was not that person,” he said softly.
I looked at him as his words ran through my mind, and I finally realized his meaning. “You were one of the men?” I nearly screamed.
Loki nodded. I stood up and started pacing in the room. It didn’t make any sense. If he had been like me, caught in a weird dream, then why was he feeling this guilty? Sure, scared, ashamed, and angry to find out what happened I understood. That was what I was feeling, but the guilt? Why the hell was he feeling this guilty? I turned and saw him watching me.
“Loki, why the hell do you feel guilty about this?” I asked, and instantly I feared his reply. “Please tell me you were just like me, trapped in another person’s body and there for the ride. Tell me you had nothing to do with this. Tell me you’re not responsible for putting us in such a dream together.” I shrieked, feeling even more scared as his shame and guilt only grew as I spoke.
He stared at the ground and wouldn’t meet my eye, but most of all, he wasn’t answering my question!
“Loki, if you value our friendship, answer me!” I screamed at him, now actually crying.
Loki looked up from the ground, and I could see tears in his eyes as well. His voice trembled a little as he replied. “I did not have anything to do with the fact that we both were in the dream. I would never do anything like that to you on purpose.” He looked me in my eyes as he said this, and I knew he was telling the truth.
“But?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from screaming at him.
“But what you experienced was a memory,” he confessed. “I don’t know why we relived that memory. I don’t know how or why we got trapped inside, but we relived a memory.”
I could feel his guilt and shame skyrocket, but he was still holding something back. As the gears in my head turned, something clicked. I gasped for air as my eyes found his. There was so much guilt written on his face, and he looked miserable. He clearly knew what I had deduced. I couldn’t believe it… it couldn’t be true, but I had to ask.
My voice trembled as I did. “Loki, how do you know this was a memory?”
I could see tears roll down his face as he looked away. As he looked down, I could hear him mumble. “Because it ss one of my memories,” he softly said.
I could feel my legs fall out from under me as I sagged down on the hard floor. I just sat there, my mouth open, staring at him. “One of your…” I couldn’t finish my sentence as I felt his shame grow. “But then…” My mind was racing, and I was talking out loud. “There were two, one dark-haired, one blond. You were talking Elvish.” Again, I looked at him in shock. “Muriel?” was all I could formulate.
I saw Loki nod. He did what I always did when distressed. He pulled his legs toward him, wrapped his arms around them, and buried his face against his knees. I just sat there staring at him. He looked defeated and felt so very scared. We sat there in total silence for what seemed like hours. I was doing my best to sort through my feelings. I knew I needed to get my emotions straight before I would talk to him again. Truthfully, I wanted to leave the room. I wanted to get up, go to my room, pack my things, and go back to Asgard. Where I just wanted to throw myself into my own bed and not see anyone for days. But I knew better. This was something we needed to sort through now, or it would drive him and me crazy. It might have been different if we were in Asgard, but here in Alfheim, I knew this room right now was the safest place to sort it through.
“Loki,” I said, trying to get his attention, but he kept his head down. “Loki, please, I need to ask you some questions.”
He minutely nodded but kept his head down.
“Was she the reason your friendship ended?” I asked.
I could hear him sigh deeply. “Yes,” was his simple answer as he still kept his face buried in shame.
I took my time trying to process his yes. I knew there had been something between Loki and Muriel. Something big that destroyed their friendship. It was weird to realize it had been a woman, although I felt stupid that I hadn’t even thought about that possibility. It’s the age-old recipe for disaster. One woman, two men, especially with two clearly dominant princes who both liked to get their own way.
“I know you said you don’t know why we had this dream, and I believe you.” I paused to see if he would respond, but he was just sitting there, his back against the wall. His arms wrapped around the top of his knees, and his face was deeply buried in his arms. I needed to get my head around how and why this was happening.
“What I don’t know is how something like this could even happen. It must be magic, right? But how would they fill in enough detail for me to feel what you all had been feeling? A montage or movie-type dream, I could understand, but this was a whole goddamn full-scale interactive theater. This must have cost an enormous amount of power, right?” I asked, now a bit calmer.
Loki shrugged his shoulders, still not looking up. “I do not know, but believe me when I say that I will find out.” There was such anger in his voice that it scared me, but when he spoke again, it was filled with sadness. “I understand that this is the end of our friendship, but I give you my word that I will find out who did this and why, and that I will make them pay for this!”
This time, he did look at me. Tears were streaming down his face, but I could feel his resolve and anger burn behind his eyes.
“When we are back in Asgard, I will break our bond, and you will be free of me. Normally, I would do so right away, but I will not leave you unprotected here in Alfheim. Not until I know who has been doing this and what danger they pose to you. As soon as we are back in Asgard, I have the means to protect you in other ways. I hope for my peace of mind that this is acceptable. If needed, I will even cut our visit to Alfheim short. We can fake a medical emergency and have you back in Asgard tonight if you so wish.”
I sat there staring at him. I could feel the pain these words gave him. He was doing what he thought I wanted. Shame, guilt, but mostly his heartbreak flooded all my senses. He clearly thought our friendship was over. Like there was no way I would want to be friends with him after this, and it broke my heart. Was this whole thing horrifyingly awkward? Hell yes, it was beyond weird knowing how it felt to have Loki touch me. How it felt for him to be with me. As I looked at him sitting there in shame and pain, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed silently, I realized something.
He didn’t do any of this. He had never done anything bad to me, and in this, he was as much the victim as I was. Sure, it seemed that he had quite the colorful sex life, but that didn’t change him, right? He still was the same, and I could feel each passing minute of my silence hurting him.
I tried to get up, but with my tall heels and the long dress, it was nearly impossible. I took a step and stood on the hem of my own dress. I fell down and cut my palm on something sharp on the floor. I saw Loki jump up and rush over to help me, but halfway, he just froze. Clearly not knowing what to do or how to help me if he could not touch me. He just sank back down to the floor in distress.
“Loki, please.” I cried as I crawled over to him, not daring to stand again. The closer I got to him, the more he backed away, until once more his back was against the wall. “Loki, please,” I pleaded again, but he wouldn’t even look at me. So, I closed the distance between us and just climbed into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his chest and hugged him for all I was worth. I could hear him gasp for air as I crawled into his lap. Where it used to comfort us both, he now sat there totally rigid. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and sobbed.
Through my sobs, I tried to explain to him. “It’s not your fault. Someone is using these memories against you, against us. You’re not the one doing this. You are just as much a victim in all of this as me. Is this immensely weird? Yes, but it is something done to both of us.” I sobbed. “Please do not end our friendship over this. I dn’t want to lose you.”
I could feel him wrap his arms around me, and he started to cry, his face pressed into my hair. I could feel the joy my words had brought him, and the pain he felt lessened. But his shame over the whole situation stayed, although he was calming down, and so was I. I finally stopped sobbing and managed to look up at him. He was still averting his eyes, unable to meet mine, and instantly, I feared that this whole thing had damaged our friendship beyond repair. I needed to show him how I felt, to reassure him of my friendship. I tried to use our bond, but to my surprise, he shut me out. He had used the so-called privacy lock on our bond. I gently grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.
“Loki, please, I need to say something to you, and I need you to feel me when I say it. Can you please let me in? I promise, I will not hurt you.” I said softly as I could feel the fear my words brought him. I just hoped this would work. Hearing something was one thing; I hoped that feeling how I felt when saying them would make the difference. That he would see that we were together in this, and we could fight this together.
He scanned my face for a moment, and I had never seen him so vulnerable. His eyes red from crying and a hesitant look on his face as if he was still expecting me to walk out on our friendship. In the end, he just nodded. I concentrated on our link, and I could feel it connect to him once more.
“Loki, I do not hold you responsible for this.” I began. “I know I just told you this, but you have the right to feel me when I say this to you. I want us to find out what or who is behind this together. I need you to believe me when I say I don’t think any differently of you. I don’t care about your sex life, and you have every right to want to keep it private. Normally, I would say I cannot imagine how exposed and ashamed you must feel, but you know I can. Please, I understand it is a horrible invasion of your privacy, but let that be the only reason you feel ashamed. That’s a natural reaction when something like that happens. Please don’t be ashamed because I now know this part of you. It is awkward, I agree, but it doesn’t make me feel any different about you and our friendship. We are both victims here.”
I saw new tears fall from his eyes, and this time I gave in to my urge to console him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him against me so I could comfort him. His arms wrapped around me even tighter, like he planned to never let me go, and he started to full-out cry again. This time, I could feel it was because of the enormous relief he felt and not because of shame.
“Thank you,” he managed to get out through his tears. I just held him, focusing on keeping my connection so he could feel how I felt, while stroking his hair and waiting for him to slowly get a grip on his emotions.
“I thought I would lose you over this,” he finally said, and I could feel he was a lot calmer. “I had been scared for a while now. I knew you would probably eventually find out about my past with Muriel. I know he promised you he would tell you if your relationship went further. I feared you wanting out of our friendship once you knew. Let alone now after having to experience it firsthand against your will.” He sniffed as he pulled back so he could look at me. “I do not know what I might do if I lost your friendship. I am sorry if it is too much right now, but it is the truth. I do not know why, but you, your friendship has changed me. I was so alone before you came along, and to be honest, I could bear it easily. But I do not think I can ever go back to that life now that I know the difference.”
I smiled at him. “Loki, I feel the same. I cannot imagine being anywhere without you. I would be too scared to face anything if that were to happen. You don’t know half how much I rely on you and need you.” I laid my head against his chest. “But we do need to get to the bottom of this.”
He nodded and leaned back into the wall, his arms still wrapped around me. “The first thing I think we need to do is get Muriel alone.” He said as he looked at me to see my reaction. “We need to know if he is having the same dream too.” He continued. “Also, I need to see his reaction when we tell him. I do not think this is something he would do, especially since you are involved, but Aurora, if I do find he had his hand in this…”
I could feel his anger dangerously flare. I took his face in my hands. “Loki, please. Believe me, I understand, but we need to keep our heads on straight. We need to keep our cool, even if we find out he is behind all of this. I cannot have you attacking him here, not in Alfheim. Please promise me we are doing this without the ego and with our smarts. If he is behind this, and I agree, I don’t think it is likely, we will find out. But if it happens, we will not retaliate while in Alfheim. We will go back to Asgard and regroup. There, we will think of something to do, but we will thoroughly think it through before we act. Please promise me.”
It took a moment, but Loki nodded.
“Now please help me up. I swear, this gown is a deathtrap, and I do not want to hurt myself again,” I said, trying to play it off as a joke, but I failed terribly.
Loki helped me up, and as we stood, we noticed that we both looked absolutely terrible. So terrible, in fact, that it made us laugh. There was no way we could be seen like this.
“I think I might need some help with this,” I said, motioning toward my dress.
There were big stains from crawling over the floor, and I’d even managed to get blood all over it from the cut in my hand. Loki walked over, and with a few mumbles of a spell, my dress looked fine again. I magically washed my face and redid my hair as Loki did the same. I was immensely glad the Elven hairstyle was simple. I was about to work a spell to heal the cut on my hand, but Loki gently took my hand in his own.
“Let me,” he said, and with a warm tingle of his magic, I felt the sting lessen and the cut heal.
I inspected him, and he inspected me. We both looked like nothing had happened. I just wished our insides felt the same.
“Loki, we’re enormously late for breakfast. I do not think it would’ve gone unnoticed. What are we going to say?”
Loki looked at me, deep in thought. “I could cloak us so we can make our way back to your room without being seen. If we wait until the hallway is clear, I can lift you and uncloak as we enter your room. I will tell the servants you fainted, still weaker than we thought from the ordeal with the spiders. I will ask them to send your apologies to the king. It will also have the added benefit that Muriel will come to us as soon as he finds out.”
I nodded. “Sounds like a plan, but promise me two things. Promise me you will not tear into Muriel before we know what’s what.”
Loki nodded. “And the second thing?”
“Please do not shut me out. Let me help you solve this. Even if it gets awkward, we will get through it together. But I need us to be in this together. I need you, and you are the only one I fully trust.”
I looked at him, feeling a bit shy, and I was glad to see him smiling.
“I promise, Aurora,” he said, pulling me into a hug. At the same time, I felt a small tingle, signaling that I was now invisible. He waved his hand, and the door clicked open. We quickly made our way back to my room. It was quite hard to avoid servants and make no sound. We waited a few minutes before the corridor in front of my room was empty. I nearly screamed when Loki, out of nowhere, lifted me in his arms, and I saw his mischievous grin.
I was glad that at least some of the awkwardness between us was gone.
“Okay, I need you to look weak and dazed, like you fainted,” he whispered.
I nodded and went limp in his arms. I felt a tingle as he dropped the invisibility, and he opened the door. The elderly servant was inside, reading her book, but as soon as she saw us, she leaped up from her chair.
Loki sounded distressed. “She overexerted herself. She is still recovering from the attack in the woods. She told me she was not feeling well, so we stopped on our way to breakfast so she could catch her breath. I thought she was doing better, but halfway to the dining hall, she suddenly fainted.”
She motioned Loki toward the bedroom, and he gently planted me on my bed, turning toward the woman. “Please, have someone excuse us. We are late for breakfast with the king, and I do not want him to get worried. Tell him that since I am fully trained in healing, I will aid the princess. I am more qualified to help her, as she is half Æsir, than any Elven healer, but I will call for one if needed.”
She nodded and rushed off. Loki turned to me, and I felt a bit sorry for making the woman worry.
“I think I should change,” I said, and I could see Loki nod.
With a wave of my hand, I was in my nightgown and overcoat, and Loki helped me lift the blankets and crawl into bed with enough pillows behind me that I could comfortably sit and lean back. Loki pulled up a chair and a table next to the bed, taking a few bottles and items out of his void storage, making it look like he was preparing something to help me. When the elderly woman returned, she coughed softly. I pretended to sleep when Loki turned toward her.
“Yes?” he asked, a bit annoyed.
“The king sends his best wishes to Princess Aurora and hopes she is well soon, but the prince wishes to see her and inquire after her health in person,” she said calmly, clearly not affected by Loki’s annoyance.
Loki instantly sounded even more annoyed. “She needs her rest and not visitors. There are already too many people in this room. Fine, send him in, but close the door behind you. If we need you, I will send for you. It is imperative she gets her rest now.”
The woman seemed like she wanted to object, but Loki must have given her quite a glare, as she left without a word. Within seconds, Muriel rushed inside, and the door was closed behind him. Instantly, Loki waved his hand, sealing the room so we were alone and couldn’t be overheard. This caused Muriel to look at him warily. I opened my eyes and saw Muriel frown.
“What the hell is going on?” he said with a weary sound in his voice. “Aurora, I thought you were unwell.”
I felt guilty, as I knew he had been very worried about me. I could feel it. But the memories from last night flashed through my head. I quickly averted my eyes and walked over toward the little sofa in my bedroom, sitting down.
“Aurora?” Muriel asked again, clearly confused by my silence.
“We need to talk to you,” I said without looking at him. The awkward feeling about this whole situation returning. “Yes, there is something going on, but it has nothing to do with my health. I am physically fine,” I said, and this time I did look at him to see how he would react.
“You are physically fine?” Muriel repeated.
I shook my head. “Loki will explain,” I just said as I leaned back into the sofa and pulled up my knees so I could wrap my arms around them.
Muriel turned to Loki with a look that said he’d better start explaining fast. Loki just walked over toward the sofa and took the seat next to me, motioning for Muriel to sit on the free chair. Which he reluctantly did.
As soon as he sat down, Loki asked his first question. “Muriel, how did you sleep last night?”
I could see this was the last question he expected, and I could feel his anger rise. Before he could vent his anger, Loki continued. “Did you dream well?”
We both saw him stiffen, his eyes shifting between me and Loki. “What do you mean by that?” he asked through clenched teeth. “Is this some kind of stupid joke or prank you two pulled to get even?” he said angrily.
But Loki just sat there calmly, looking at Muriel. “I mean nothing by it. I am just asking you how you slept and if you dreamed well.”
Muriel launched himself out of the chair and paced. “Loki, I do not know what you are playing at, but if this is your way to drive a wedge between me and Aurora, it is not going to work,” he sneered.
I could feel his anger rise even more, and I placed a hand on Loki’s arm to caution him. I opened our bond so he could feel Muriel’s emotions. I could see Muriel’s angry eyes follow the movement of my hand, and instantly, I felt jealousy course through him.
I decided I needed to be the one to continue the question in the hope this wouldn’t spiral out of control.
“We are here because I had a very strange dream last night. This morning, I was clearly distressed, and because of our bond, Loki knew something was up. He insisted I tell him what was wrong. It was then that we came to the realization that he also had a strange dream last night.”
Muriel watched me and Loki, and he calmed a bit, sitting back down as he took a deep breath.
“What kind of dream did you have?” he asked me, ignoring Loki.
I took a moment to gather some courage before I met his eyes. “It seems Loki and I had the same dream, although from different perspectives.” I could see Muriel pale at my words. “I was in the body of an unknown woman, experiencing what seems to be a memory from long ago, as Loki explained. A memory I couldn’t possibly know, seeing that it was one you both shared long before any of you met me, when you were still friends here in Alfheim.”
He got even paler. “But how?” he asked, looking at Loki. I could feel suspicion forming within him.
“We do not know. That is why we are talking to you,” Loki said, his tone icy cold. He was closely watching Muriel’s expressions, and I was still broadcasting his feelings so that Loki could feel them too.
“You think I have anything to do with this?” Muriel exclaimed in anger. “That I would not only force myself and you to relive those memories but somehow include Aurora in this as well?”
He was shocked. Really shocked. I could feel it. But Loki didn’t relent.
“Well, there are two of us with access to that memory, are there not? And I am quite sure it was not me,” he added. “Seeing as I do not think your father would ever allow her back into the castle, that leaves us with you.”
Muriel looked at him, shock clearly written across his face. I could feel his disbelief and shock, and it wasn’t faked.
“Aurora, you believe him?” he asked, looking at me for help. “I swear, I did not do this to you.” I could feel his outrage, and I really thought he wouldn’t be able to fake it.
“I’m sorry, Muriel, but you know the bond Loki and I share. I know for sure he didn’t do this. I’m going to put my trust in his judgment of you,” I said, doing my best not to look away. The sudden rage in his eyes for me choosing Loki’s word over his was evident.
He turned to Loki. “Then, God of Lies, tell me, am I lying?” he nearly shouted.
Loki let out a deep sigh. “No, you are not,” he said calmly.
I was glad Muriel wasn’t guilty. But that meant we clearly didn’t know who was behind this at all. We were back on square one. With Muriel now cleared, I closed the connection with Loki. Muriel sat back down, looking defeated. He clearly had expected a fight and for Loki not to believe him.
He looked at me, and then, with a soft voice, he said, “Did we all have the same dream, or did mine differ?”
I really didn’t want to retell it, but I owed him my version. “I don’t know,” I said with a sigh. “I, or the woman, was restrained—arms bound above my head and blindfolded, and I think she was somehow drugged? There were two people there, and…” I stopped as I saw Muriel raise his hand.
“We had the same dream,” he just said, turning to Loki. “What did you tell her?” he asked.
Loki took a deep breath. “I told her it had been one of my memories. The rest she deduced on her own. She knows that it was us in the dream.”
Muriel nodded as he looked at me. “And you are not freaked out about this?” he asked me.
I sighed. “I’m not freaked out about you, Loki, and the woman having some triangle relationship. Furthermore, someone’s sex life and what they do as consenting adults is something between them, something I have no right to judge. Am I freaked out that I had to live through that? More than you will know. It wasn’t a movie played before me in my mind. My empathic abilities worked. It felt like it was happening to me, but on top of that, I could feel Loki’s, your, and her emotions on top of it all. Believe me when I say it’s a bit much.”
This caused Loki to suddenly shift his gaze from Muriel to me, as if I had said something new.
“What?” I asked, looking at him.
“That does not make sense,” he said. “I can imagine you feeling me and Muriel while you dream. Seeing as we all had the same dream, we must be linked somehow. So, that would give you access to our memories and feelings as we were reliving them too. But that does not explain why you would feel Yrissa’s feelings.” he said, looking at Muriel. “We would not have known how she felt. We know how she reacted, but not exactly how she felt.” He was now addressing Muriel. “What happened to Yrissa? I assumed that after what happened, your father would have sent her home and not allowed her back at court. Is it possible she be here?”
I could see his brain working overtime as he looked at Muriel. I could see Muriel stiffen, and Loki looked at him suspiciously. “What are you not telling me, Muriel?” Loki asked, clearly on edge.
I could feel Muriel’s emotions locking down, not wanting to tell or show anything to me or Loki. Suddenly, I remembered Muriel’s words back in the garden in Asgard, and I knew what had happened—and most of all, why Muriel didn’t want to talk about it.
I gently tapped Loki’s arm so he focused back on me. “I think I know,” I said softly. I gave Muriel an apologetic look, hoping he wouldn’t be mad for me sharing this with Loki. “In Asgard, Muriel once told me that the reason he left the Alfheim court was because he had a love affair with a woman. They were found out, and it was a big scandal, and he had to leave. Before he left, he did try to find her, but she was nowhere to be found. He said that he even contacted her parents, but they claimed not to have a daughter.” I turned back to Muriel. “I guess you were talking about Yrissa, weren’t you?”
Loki looked at me with shock clearly written on his face, but focused back on Muriel.
“Why the hell did you never tell me?” he yelled. “You know I could have helped. What the hell did you do to her?”
Muriel jumped up at Loki’s accusations. I thought for a second that he would attack Loki. Before I could do anything, Loki had also jumped up, clearly anticipating Muriel’s attack. They stared at each other for a few moments, but thankfully Muriel turned and walked to the other side of the room, punching a wall.
But Loki wouldn’t give up. “Muriel, tell me what happened after I left,” he shouted.
“Why the hell would I tell you anything?” he shouted back. “It was you who ruined the whole thing. You ruined everything, and when all hell broke loose, you left for Asgard. I was left to deal with the aftermath. I did my best to find her, but it was father who got to her first. Honest to God, I do not know what he did to her. I think he…”
I could feel sadness and guilt take over as he lost his words. I saw Loki slump back on the sofa as it was clear what Muriel feared. After some silence, Muriel continued, this time in a sad and deflated voice.
“I think he killed her,” he said softly. “I think he took care of the woman who could disgrace his son. Not to help me, mind you, but to save his own reputation. What other reason would there be for her parents to suddenly become very wealthy, and why would they suddenly claim that they have no daughter? Only my father has that kind of influence.” The last part was said with so much disgust that it sent shivers down my spine.
Loki looked at him, his mouth opening and closing, but no words came out. I could feel a battle of anger and resentment within him, but also his own guilt. He finally shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.
“But if that’s true, then how are they creating these memories?” he said softly. “You have seen the dream. It is too accurate to be anything but an actual memory. I guess they could fake Yrissa’s feelings so Aurora thought she was feeling her, but then they still need to get their hands on the actual memory of that night.”
Muriel sat down defeated. “I do knot know. That memory was one of the last nights the three of us were together. Maybe my father already knew and had someone watching us?” he guessed. “Maybe that someone is now playing with us?”
I looked at them. “But why, and why would they involve me?”
Loki looked angrily at Muriel, and Muriel let out a big gasp. “For the love of God,” he exclaimed, burying his head in his hands. “Aurora, I am sorry. The only reason I can think of is because I proclaimed my interest in you. One of the things standing between me and the throne, other than my asshole father, is the fact that I am not married. A king needs a queen and subsequently heirs. I am guessing that presenting you as a princess and then claiming you with the circlet—one of the nobles in line for the throne must have felt threatened, making them lash out.”
Loki nodded. “And by showing Aurora your past, they thought they could scare her off. They believe anyone who knows would automatically want nothing to do with you once they found out.”
Muriel nodded in agreement. “One problem, though—none of my cousins have Seiðr powerful enough to pull this off. They would need several magical artifacts to charge a spell of this magnitude.”
I instantly remembered a conversation I had with Loki right after we departed. “Loki, didn’t you tell me there was trouble in Alfheim because someone had stolen magical artifacts?”
Loki seemed to remember this too. “Yes, you are correct. There were reports of several artifacts being stolen, and they believed it was the work of a powerful Seiðr user. My father instructed me to stay out of it and did not reveal any further details.”
Muriel looked at him grimly. “I can ask my father about them and see which artifacts were stolen. It shall help us form a better idea of what they might be using, and how to block it.”
This took my breath away. “Block it? As in, it is not over?”
I could see them both look at me, their faces filled with shock as they thought about my words.
“Shit,” Loki cursed. “They may have more memories. We cannot be certain this was the only one. The only way we shall find out is by going to sleep tonight.”
I saw the wheels turning in Loki’s head, and Muriel and I did our best to give him some time to think. He is the one with the most knowledge of spells and counter-spells. It was not long before he looked up.
“I shall place a ward around our rooms,” he said. “I shall have it scan and hopefully block any big spells. But without knowing the specifics of the spell or the artifact, I cannot guarantee it can block these dreams.”
I could feel a headache forming. I really wasn’t sure I would be up for another round of uncomfortable, second-hand intimacy. Especially not the awkwardness the next morning. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in the hope that the headache would lessen. Then I felt someone take my hand, and judging from his feelings, I knew it was Loki.
“Aurora, I am so sorry you might have to go through this again,” he said softly, squeezing my hand. I could feel his guilt building again.
I shook my head and opened my eyes. I looked at him and Muriel, both of them clearly upset by the idea that I might witness another memory.
I sighed. “Just so you both know, I do not hold you responsible for any of this. But it is awkward beyond anything I have ever experienced. I am sorry for being upset. You see, Yrissa in your memories—memories you both share—and I meant it when I said I have no problem with your past.”
I paused for a moment to think about how to put this so they would understand.
“These are private memories and acts that you shared with her, and now you are reliving them. The only bad part for you two, until now, is that I unintentionally invaded your privacy, and I know that is not something to take lightly.” I sighed. “But for me, it is different. I am not reliving a memory; I shall see and feel both of you doing things to her—things that are very personal and intimate to say the least. In the dream, at some point when things got heated, it became impossible to separate my feelings from hers. At that point, it felt like you were doing it to me, and I had zero control. Based on what I have seen, I can already tell that she liked things I do not. Yes, I can feel her pleasure, so it does not hurt me, but…”
I clapped my hands in front of my eyes. I knew I was rambling, but this whole situation made me nervous and uncomfortable. But I had to push through, hoping they would understand.
“You both are very important to me,” I looked at Loki. “In our case, I am frightened this will change our friendship. Like I said, you will see Yrissa, but I will see you doing these things to me, and that is awkward as hell. I will never break our friendship over this, but I do not want it to be weird between us, either.”
Then I looked at Muriel. “Muriel, you know I like you very much, but you also know that I am not ready to have sex with you yet. I am also worried this will change things between us, that it will be too much too soon, and I won’t be able to separate these memories. It might taint our relationship. I really don’t want to lose you.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, a shiver running through my body, making me feel cold. “Overall, I am just scared this whole thing will cost me my friendships with two of the most important people in my life.”
Muriel walked over to the sofa and gently lifted me so he could sit and place me on his lap. He then folded his arms around me. “We shall make this stop, Aurora,” he said gently. “If not tonight, then tomorrow. You shall not lose me or Loki over this. But we need to get through this together. It is important not to shut each other out and talk through any awkwardness. If you keep things bottled up, they might overflow and destroy things. If we take our time and are there for each other, we shall get through this.”
I relaxed into his arms and looked at Loki. I saw he was agreeing with what Muriel had said. I took a deep breath, deciding I needed to know more. The uncertainty of what I might experience was killing me.
“I am going to ask a question, and it is going to be a weird one. Believe me, I know,” I said to both of them. “I just need some level of control over this.”
Muriel shifted me on his lap so he could see my face. “I know you do not know what memories they might have, or if we even are going to relive something tonight. Just to be safe, is there anything you did with her that you think I might need to be warned about in advance?”
I could feel them both tense. “I do not need every detail of what it is you did with her, but if there is anything more than kinky consensual sex, I need to know. I know from last night that she was drugged and bound. I am not saying it was against her will because I could feel it was not. Did you use drugs often? Fighting to stay in control through a haze was very uncomfortable. Or were there any other things you might flag as something I need to know?”
My hands were shaking, and silence fell over the room. It was Loki who spoke first.
“As far as I remember, we never did anything against her will. I personally might have searched for her limits, but I always made sure not to cross them. The whole drugging part in last night’s memory was something we only did once. She wanted to experience what it would feel like to be completely helpless and at our mercy, and with our consent, she took some herbs to accomplish that.”
I could feel him build up the courage to add more, and I waited for him to be ready.
“The only thing you might need to know is that there have been times during these encounters when I was in my female form. And in my female form, it was not just Yrissa I had sex with.” I could see him look at me to gauge my reaction.
I took a moment to let it sink in. So, in female form, he and Muriel had sex with each other. I must admit it came as a surprise, but I knew it wouldn’t be something I couldn’t handle.
“Thank you, Loki,” I said, taking his hand and giving him a small smile. I could see him relax, and I could feel that he had been worried I would freak out when he told me.
I turned to Muriel, who was very tense and silent. “Muriel?” I asked.
“The only thing I think you should know is about the last night we all spent together,” Muriel said. “It was the night Loki and I fought and broke our friendship. After he left, I had a big fight with Yrissa.”
Muriel paused.
I could feel Loki’s surprise at Muriel’s words. It seemed this was new to him too.
Muriel shook his head and continued. “After our fight, we had sex, and it was a lot rougher than we would usually do.”
There was a slight worry emanating from Loki, but what mostly surprised me was the sudden cold feeling coming from Muriel. It was like he had closed himself off from his own emotions completely. I tried to take his hand, but he avoided mine and moved away from the sofa.
“I think it is best if I go and talk to my father now,” he said, changing the topic. “The sooner I can get some information about the artifacts, the sooner Loki can work on his wards and maybe prevent any more memories.”
Loki and I agreed, and with that, Muriel stormed out of the room. I let out a big sigh as I slouched back on the sofa.
Loki looked at me. “I can only imagine how awkward this must have been for you,” he said, pulling me in for a hug. “Especially if you are not yet ready for that kind of intimacy between you and Muriel, let alone with a third person involved.”
I was comforted by his words, and with what I had experienced last night, I wasn’t so horrified anymore to talk about sex with Loki.
“As you now know, we haven’t slept together yet,” I admitted. “Yes, we’ve done some other things that I liked, but I feel like I don’t want to have sex with people I’m not in love with. I like Muriel a lot, we most definitely have chemistry, but I’m not in love with him yet. I thought that with more time my feelings would gradually develop further. It’s just that, with everything that’s happened, we haven’t had that much time together. To be honest, after all this—the stuff with the circlet, the dreams, and the weird coldness I sometimes feel from him—I don’t know if I ever will be ready,” I admitted with a rueful smile, shaking my head. “The weirdest part is that I don’t even know if I’m a virgin or not. The only sex I remember having is from the dream last night. Welcome to my fucked-up world,” I exclaimed, letting out an angry groan as I buried my face in Loki’s chest.
“Don’t worry,” Loki said, stroking my hair. “I’m sure your memories will come back, and maybe tonight will prove it was just a one-night incident. Tomorrow, it will ll all be over.”
I could feel that these words were meant more to comfort me than to be true. “You’re a terrible liar, Loki,” I grumbled against his chest, which made him laugh.
“No, I’m an excellent liar, Aurora, just not with you,” he grinned, planting a small kiss in my hair. Loki glanced at the door, quickly stood up, and lifted me into his arms. “There are people here to see you,” he said, gently placing me back into bed and under the covers.
He took a seat in the chair next to the bed and made a book appear in his hands. I turned away from him, pretending to be asleep. Within moments, there was a knock on the door, and Loki motioned for it to open. The elder woman entered and announced I had visitors. Loki grumbled something about me sleeping but allowed them in. It was Thor and Sif—they had been very worried and came to see how I was. He assured them that I was fine, that I’d been having nightmares and slept very poorly, which caused me to faint. Loki reassured them that I would be fine after some rest and would be up and about after my nap. They were relieved and told him to give me their best wishes before leaving.