All in Vain (Feanorian of choice x Reader)
"I used to daydream about us." You shuffle in your seat. Walls caved in and it felt as if all air had left the world. It had left with all the light the world had once carried.
Maybe it had left with the cursed oath, withering trees, and bloodied shores of Alqualonde. It had vanished for it to never return. Even with the Sun and the Moon, your world remained dark.
Your betrothed had marched to nether shores without a look back and all that had been left were shards of love once shared. Your betrothed had abandoned you without a word of return or a promise of reunion.
He was crueler than any doom and more vicious than the venom of Ungoliant.
For his silence left hope. A futile hope.
"Did you know not even the darkest night of marred Aman was bleak enough compared to the day you turned your back on me? Even in the darkest days, I had hope that one day...one day you would come back to me." It was easy to remember those days that you spent waiting for him. Maybe it was in vain all along.
Maybe if you had the courage to throw him away the way he had done to you. Maybe then you would have found some happiness. Maybe...yet, you knew deep in your soul that no circumstance, no oath, no promise, or doom would cease your love.
A self-destructive love that brought you where you were today.
"Your revenge, your oath, your exile, your crimes, your repentance." You pause but the ellon in front of you does not speak. By now you can feel your tears. What an unsightly seen it must be. " Nothing ever was ours or mine in your world. Do you remember how I begged to follow you but you didn't let me?"
"Do you?" Your voice trembles with the effort to hold back sobs.
"I would've followed you even to the nether shores but you...you did not let me. You took away every right I had to you while you kept yours."
"I stayed back for your word. To look after your family that I considered to be mine as well." As if struck by your accusations he looks up now. His eyes swim with tears and time has not been kind to him. He is scared, broken, and frail. Even the halls of healing had failed to erase the marks of Middle Earth.
" I had wished that one day you would think of me the way I did of you. " Your heart aches as you notice the ring he still wears on his ring finger. Similar to the ring you fail to take off yours.
"I waited and prayed for your return even when none believed and you...you ran away without a care. Not once did you think of me?" It had been a painful discovery that your intended returned from the halls of Mandos and did not deem you worthy of one letter or a small greeting. For all your yearning you felt betrayal stab deeper than ever.
Not even the family you had stayed in Valinor for told you of such news.
"Would rather associate with a kin slayer." He speaks with such venom in his voice that you do not recognize him. He stands up and leans in with his arms on the table between you.
"Would you be linked with the doomed ones or the ones whose names have become curses in themselves?"
"I don't care about people! I care about you!" You slump back in your chair and he falls back in his chair as well. A shocked expression on his face.
"Can't you understand? I lose all my reason and thoughts of my own well-being when it comes to you?" Your head throbs with the sudden surge of emotions.