Café Kielo

I was suddenly really worried. Ward talked about his father as if he was still alive. And abusing him. Maybe it was the tablets he took? Was he overdosing right now? Hallucinating? What would I do if he suddenly started convulsing and lost consciousness? Would the ambulance even come, with the emergency and all? Maybe he hadn't meant to say what he'd said, and the whole thing just came out wrong. I decided to do what I did best. Avoid any difficult issues, pretend they didn't exist and change the subject. I'm such a coward in emotionally challenging situations.

So I blurted out whatever came to my mind, and he took the bait. I got up, reached out to the table, tossed him the other sandwich, got a couple of water bottles, which were surprisingly cool, from the lukewarm fridge and encouraged him to eat. I assured Ward that the hangover would be less severe if he drank the water and ate something. 

One thing was certain; no more whisky for me. I had to be able to function if something happened to him and at the moment there was way too much alcohol in my system to handle anything remotely serious.

”Is there someone who will get angry when you spend your night like this, with a stranger? Ward asked suddenly, playing with his glass again.I could feel irritation rise inside me. ”If there was, and they were angry that I was in a company of another man in an emergency like this, it wouldn't be a long relationship.”

That seemed to peak Ward's interest. ”How so?”

”What kind of a relationship would it be if they didn't trust me even that much?”

”Like any other out there?”

I had to scoff. ”Really? Well, my mother claims I have too high standards with my relationships. I guess she isn't wrong then.” I was just getting started with this subject since my usual inhibitors had currently been washed down my throat. ”Why does everyone think I have to lower my expectations on my relationships? And why would I have settle for anything less than what makes me happy?”

Ward lifted his hands, palms facing me. ”Hey, I'm just asking. Don't shoot me.”

I stared at my hands and took a deep breath that turned into a yawn. ”I'm sorry. It's not your fault I have issues.”

Ward leaned on the wall again and gazed at the ceiling. ”Welcome to the club.”

”So I gather you've had no luck with relationships?”

”Luck, maybe. Anything lasting, no. Maybe I should find someone from Workaholics Anonymous.” He groaned. ”At least then my significant other would understand how all-consuming work can be.” He looked like he'd wanted to add something but then didn't.

”I'd like to join that club.” As soon as I said it I realized it could be understood in a multitude of ways. Luckily he seemed to take it the way I had actually meant it, and not that I would join it so he could find me there. Of course I hadn't meant that. I must be getting really tired. ”In any case, it wouldn't matter to me, I'd be too busy to attend anyway. Hard to make a good first impression if you're not there.”

”Maybe it would be love at first sight?”

I scoffed.

”You don't believe in love at first sight?”

I burst out laughing. ”No. Well, for the pretty people perhaps, not the rest of us.”

Ward furrowed his brows.”Explain.”

”I mean it might happen to people like you, the beautiful people. Not to me. People like me have to learn to dazzle with our minds. And you can't do that from the distance.”

He looked confused. ”But you're not... I mean you are...”

I interrupted him gently, a huge yawn trying to escape my mouth. ”Stop. I need you to stop right there. I know who I am. It took a long time to accept it, but I think I finally have.” I could see he was still baffled. ”I mean of course it still hurts when you are in a bar and the bartender ignores you in favor of those prettier than you. Or that you never get noticed when you are out with your friends. Not to mention you'll never avoid any speeding tickets by just batting your eyelashes,” I chortled, ”but it's just how it is. What I don't want,” I added in more serious tone, ”is anyone lying to me just to make me feel better.” The yawn finally escaped, and I had difficulties keeping my eyes open.

The silence could have been uncomfortable, but it wasn't. Ward was deep in thought, and I could only think of how much my eyelids weighed. I suddenly flinched awake, about to fall face first into Ward's lap. I just had to lay down for a while.

---

”I'll need to rest my head for just a minute. Scoot over.”

Ward moved his legs sideways, along the wall, and Lumi laid down on the edge of the bed, her back towards Ward. She dug the pillow out from under the cover and buried her head on it with a contented sigh. Ward was frozen, trapped between the wall and the figure who apparently had no trouble catching sleep. In the company of a stranger. Who was at that moment sharing her bed.

The candle flickered a few times and then went out. He sat there, in complete darkness. Well, great. He'd had to get up in few hours anyway, so he might as well spend the time reading the latest news from his phone. Except the phone was in the pocket of his jacket and the jacket was now on the floor. On the wrong side of Lumi.

His legs were already growing numb, so he very carefully straightened them. There was just enough room for him to lay back. He could close his eyes for just a few seconds, as he figured out what to do next. It made no difference since he couldn't see anything anyway.

Ward woke up to something tickling his nose. He felt like he'd just closed his eyes a second ago, but he forced his eyes open, only to find out he was staring at Lumi's neck. She was sound asleep and breathing deeply, peacefully. Lumi's skin had a blue hue in the dim moonlight. He could feel the warmth of her skin near his lips. There was a faint scent of apple and vanilla in the air and he was hypnotized by the way the fragile hairs on her neck moved in the rhythm of his own breath. He would only have to move half an inch to feel her smooth skin against his lips, to taste the elegant curve of her neck. His heart drummed faster in his ears. He was suddenly very, very awake.

It had been so long since he had been this close to anyone. The longing to feel someone else's skin touching his own almost hurt. But Lumi trusted him. She slept so soundly because she trusted him not to be an asshole. He closed his eyes and let himself imagine, just for a minute, what it would be like. Then he very carefully backed against the wall and crossed his hands on his chest, so he wouldn't disturb her sleep, not even accidentally.

---

It was already light out when I woke up to a terrible headache. I got up very carefully so as not to worsen it and sat on the edge of the bed, wondering if I still had some Tylenol left in the bathroom cabinet. I decided to risk standing up, since this time the nausea was a no-show. Or maybe it was still too early for that. I could hear the hum of the freezer from downstairs. So the power was back, that was at least something. I turned back towards the table to grab my phone when I realized Ward was still there, in my bed. He was curled up, back against the wall, arms crossed as if he had been cold. Or maybe he had wanted to avoid touching me at all cost. He had every right to do so, after all the stupid things that had come out of my mouth last night.

He was breathing in and out in a regular rhythm, mouth a bit open. His face was completely relaxed and framed by messy black strands of hair. His eyelashes cast small shadows on his cheeks. He looked so young, even with the stubble. I felt this was the first time I saw an honest version of him. Not a facade to hide behind or an act he wanted you to believe.

A warmth started to gather in my abdomen. It grew, spread and filled me with a desire to curl up beside him, embrace him and not let anything or anyone hurt him.

Oh no no no, I knew what this was, and I didn't want it, need it or wish it. The last thing I needed now was to have a crush on Ward Meachum. Who I suspected had some serious issues with his medication. I didn't have time for it, nor the energy. And the whole thing would, in any case, end up in nothing but me futilely pining over him from a distance. I needed to push this feeling aside as soon as possible.

I reached for my phone and knocked over the empty (how was that possible?) whisky bottle. When I tried to grab it, I sent both it and a couple of classes tumbling towards the floor. I could hear Ward taking in a deep breath and shuffling on the bed. I snatched my phone and concentrated on checking the time, and the weather, and the headlines of the latest news (the emergency was declared over), just to give myself a little more time before I had to face him. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and run his hand over his face, from eyes to chin, the stubble rustling under his long fingers. His hazel eyes met mine and he smiled.

A raging, electric wildfire struck my lower abdomen, rushed through my veins and left me breathless. I needed to touch him. I needed to sit on his lap, feel his body pressing against mine, run my fingers through his hair, grabbing it into my fists, forcing his mouth to open so I could invade it with my... I needed to get the hell out of there.

---

Ward woke up feeling more refreshed than he'd expected despite the few hours of sleep he'd had. He was surprised he had fallen asleep at all. Lumi was standing there, in front of him, with a funny expression on her face. She turned, rushed to the bathroom, hurled the door shut and immediately turned the tap on. Ward could hear the water splashing, accompanied with muted groans. A bit of nausea then. He hoped it wasn't too serious. He lifted his jacket from the floor, put it on and cursed himself for leaving it like that. It was all wrinkled now. His phone still had some charge left; the screen told him it was 5 AM, and there was an 'Emergency Over' message waiting. Good.

He hummed to himself as he lifted the glasses from the floor with his left hand, grabbed the bottle with a free index finger and strung his tie over his head with his right hand, where it hung loosely around his neck. He could almost reach the kitchen sink, where he placed the bottle and the glasses, from where he was standing. He cleaned up the sandwich wrappers and moved the table under the window.

The bathroom door opened and Lumi came out, strands of hair around her face still wet from the splashed water. She looked around, astonished.

”You cleaned?”

”It was the least I could do after you let me crash here.”

She stood there, opening her mouth as to say something, then closing it again. She swallowed. Maybe the nausea was bothering her again.

”I need to check on Hood,” she blurted and headed towards the stairs. She hadn't even looked at him, which left him inexplicably disgruntled. He hadn't expected anything special, but maybe a 'good morning' or even a 'thank you' would have been nice. He crammed himself through the tiny staircase to downstairs, where Lumi was quietly waking up Hood.

Ward stood under the stairs while she checked all the appliances, lifted the security gates, and gave Hood the last sandwich from the display case as he sauntered towards the doors. She opened the locks and smiled warmly to Hood as she said goodbye to him.

”I'm getting a delivery at 6 o'clock if you want to stay for breakfast?” She called out while carrying the melted ice cream cases to the nearest sink.

Ward wanted nothing more than to have the easygoing, relaxed atmosphere back from last night. Something was clearly different now. Lumi was running about, cleaning and preparing the coffee machine, the ice cream counter, and display cases. He felt out of place and moved about trying to not be in her way. He decided it was better if he left so she could do her morning chores in peace.

It wasn't until he was at the door, about to say goodbye, when Lumi finally stopped bustling about.

”Stay safe,” she said solemnly, squeezing the dishrag, eyes huge as if she was afraid something might happen to him.

Ward left the cafe with a flicker of warmth radiating in his chest. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he decided he didn't want to let it go.