50 Ways to Say Goodbye

Star Wars: Rebels Big Hero 6
M/M
G
50 Ways to Say Goodbye
author
Summary
Ezra and Hiro have been going out for almost a year now, but Ezra is seriously starting to question whether this relationship is going to work out with the way Hiro seems to always be disappearing at the oddest moments and canceling dates at the last minute due to unexplained "emergencies". Will Hiro finally tell him his secret, or is this the end for them?

Ezra couldn’t believe it. Two years. This was the second time in two years that he’d had a serious relationship go south. It wasn’t like this relationship was officially over, but he knew the signs from his first breakup and that’s exactly where this one was headed. It wasn’t even his fault--not that the first one had been, but this time he had made sure he was doing everything right. He’d taken Hiro out on regular dates while still respecting his needs as an introvert for privacy. He’d been there to be a listening ear whenever the other teen wanted to bounce ideas for new inventions off of him. In fact, for the most part, everything about their relationship was perfect--they’d become almost like best friends on top of being boyfriends. They earnestly cared about each other and shared everything. Well… Not everything, actually. And that’s what was causing this otherwise ideal relationship to be cracking apart at the foundations.

Ezra understood about having the need to keep some things private. He wasn’t asking Hiro to bare the darkest secrets of his soul to him unless he really wanted to. But ever since the start of the relationship his boyfriend had a nasty habit of running off in the middle of dates with no real explanation and not returning until hours later, sometimes not even calling him until the next day. To begin with, Ezra had been more than willing to accept his excuses that he had a sick family member who often had medical emergencies. But the more Ezra learned about Hiro’s family, namely that only his aunt and brother were the sole survivors outside of the teen genius, he began to doubt that that was the truth. Sure Tadashi had been in a fire that had almost killed him a few years back, but he’d fully recovered from that, and Aunt Cass was completely healthy. Worse were the times when Ezra would catch Hiro, while he was supposed to be with his “sick relative”, hanging out with his friends from the university in a restaurant or the city park. For as long as he could, Ezra had tried to justify his boyfriend’s actions, but eventually he’d been forced to confront Hiro on it. That’s when the fighting had started--Hiro would flat out deny his accusations or try to change the subject, and despite the fact that he tried his best to be even tempered Ezra couldn’t stand being made to feel like an idiot when he knew he was right. Eventually Hiro had finally admitted to the fact that Ezra was right but had refused to give him any further explanation, telling him that he had his reasons and he just needed him to trust him, that he was better off not knowing. Ezra wasn’t going to stand for that. If Hiro was in trouble of some sort, he wanted to help him, and if it was something else he deserved a decent explanation instead of just being constantly blown off. But Hiro had refused to tell him anything else and so slowly but surely they had started drifting apart.

It hurt like hell. Of course it did. Ezra had actually thought that, after a year of dating, Hiro might be “the one”--and if it wasn’t for his penchant for running off and the lies, he would be perfect. But there was only so much of this kind of emotional abuse Ezra could take before he was pushed over the edge. That’s how he’d ended up at this point, seriously considering a breakup. Both his adopted parents told him that he needed to listen to what his mind and heart were telling him and that they’d support him no matter what. Both his adopted siblings, Sabine and Zeb, told him that Hiro was no good for him and, as Sabine colorfully put it, that he needed to “dump that loser’s ass” before he got himself hurt even more than he already was.

So that’s what was happening tonight. Ezra wasn’t officially breaking up with Hiro. He wasn’t even sure that Hiro was going to be at the show that the band of siblings was putting on at the pizza shop that had actually been where the couple had first met. But, if nothing else, the set list had been specifically tailored to let the blue haired teen vent all of his frustration and, if his boyfriend actually did show up, to let him know exactly what he thought of his behavior and give him an ultimatum of sorts--either start cleaning up his act or say goodbye.

“I don’t know if he’s coming,” Ezra says as he and the rest of the group finish setting up for the show that night with no sign of his absentee boyfriend in the room..

“Oh, he’ll come,” Sabine answers with a grim smile.

“How do you know?”

“‘Cause I made sure of it.”

“...Dare I ask how?”

“I sent him a not-so-friendly reminder that you were performing tonight and said that, if he didn’t show up, I’d make sure he never got to talk to you again.”

“You didn’t!” Ezra cries, partly horrified that his sister had gone behind his back, partly touched that she cared enough to do something like that.

“Hey, the tough love has got to start somewhere,” Sabine answers with a slight shrug. “I figured you’d rather it came from me than from you.”

“I guess…” Ezra decides not to argue--what was done was done, and besides, a little extra assurance that Hiro would actually be here wasn’t a bad thing.

“Guys, much as I hate to break into the mutual hatred moment, I think we’d better get started if we don’t want an angry mob of fans on our hands,” Zeb calls to them, gesturing to their audience who were all waiting something less than patiently.

“Right.” Ezra nods, scanning the room one last time for Hiro before giving up and sighing, “Let’s do this.”

The song covers they usually did were lighthearted, upbeat numbers, sometimes venturing into something a little more rock and roll or punk for Zeb and Sabine. Tonight’s setlist was as far from the norm as possible, starting out with “50 Ways to Say Goodbye” and transitioning into “Forget You”, “She’s So Gone”, and “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”. A few of their audience members seemed surprised by the drastic change in tone, but most appeared to be at least willing to give this edgier sound a chance.

It’s what they’re going to be hearing for a long time depending on how things go tonight, Ezra thinks grimly as he launches into the last song before the break, “Gives You Hell”.

About halfway through the song that he finally spots Hiro near the back of the restaurant, in a corner table as if purposefully trying to keep his presence on the down-low. It was impossible to tell if he’d just come in or actually been there the entire time and just managed to keep out of sight. Either way, something about seeing him added an extra surge of biting emotion into Ezra’s song, making it obvious that he meant every word he was singing, Sabine even joining in on the chorus as moral support.

When the band finally ends, half the room was cheering while the other half seemed to be unsure of what to think of what they’d just heard. Hiro, over in the corner, had his head ducked down, his expression hidden but his shoulders hunched in either pain or anger.

“Don’t you dare go over there,” Sabine says firmly when she sees where her younger sibling was looking. “Have at least that much self respect--if he wants to say something, then let him come to you.”

As angry as he was at his boyfriend, Ezra hated seeing him so upset. Still, he decides to listen to his sister’s advice--she had a lot more relationship experience than he did so maybe it was time to force Hiro to actually make the first move for once.

Halfway through the water bottle he was downing to get rehydrated before the second half of the show, he finally spotted Hiro at the bottom of the stage steps. It was painfully familiar--this was almost deja vu of the night a little over a year ago when Ezra had actually asked his boyfriend out for the first time. As tempted as the blue haired teen was to act like he didn’t see him or even to just outright ignore him, Hiro looked so forlorn that it broke through his barriers and he finally goes over to talk to him--not rushing, though, keeping his pace slow and level so as not to show anything of what he was thinking.

“So, enjoying the show?” he asks when he finally reaches the other teen, unable to keep a caustic note out of his voice.

“A-All those songs are about me, aren’t they?” Hiro asks, his voice soft and hurt.

“You think?” Ezra answers, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly--he wasn’t about to get sucked back into all of Hiro’s emotional mind games again.

“A-Are you breaking up with me?” Hiro whispers, arms wrapping tightly around his skinny ribcage--despite having finally reached pubescent maturity, he was still on the tiny side, making him seem almost fragile despite Ezra’s knowledge that he was anything but. For a moment seeing him in such a scared, vulnerable state almost made the blue haired teen want to just wrap his arms around him, to tell him that everything was okay and that there was no way they were breaking up. But no. He had to stand his ground--as much as this hurt, he couldn’t let himself get played anymore.

“I don’t want to break up with you,” Ezra finally says, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. But I can’t keep living like this--never knowing if you’re even going to show up for our dates, getting blown off all the time. I understand that your friends are important to you, I do. But I’m your freaking boyfriend, and I deserve at least some sort of actual commitment from you, not these half baked lies and excuses you keep coming up with! Either you need to finally come clean, or it’s… I-It’s over between us.” Those were probably the hardest words he’d ever had to say, and there were tears pricking the back of his eyes, but he had to stay strong--he was doing the right thing here… Wasn’t he?

“E-Ez…” Hiro whispers, seeming to be close to tears himself. “I-I want to tell you… I want to so badly… B-But it’s not safe, I’d be putting you in dang--”

“I’ve heard all your excuses before!” Ezra snaps, anger welling up in his chest. “So basically you’re telling me ‘no’, that your stupid secret is more important than me?”

“N-No!” Hiro cries. “I--”

“Either tell me now, or this is the last time you see me. Ever.”

“E-Ez… I-I can’t…” Hiro says, tears starting to flow down his cheeks. “P-Please, don’t--”

“No. I can see what’s more important to you,” Ezra answers coldly, turning away and feeling like he’d just been slapped. This was it. This was the end of everything. It felt like his heart was shattering into a million pieces as he turns away and starts his long, lonely trek back up onto the stage--

“WAIT!” Suddenly he feels Hiro’s hand on his wrist, a vice-like grip. “I-I’ll tell you!”

“You will?” Ezra tries to keep from showing the seed of hope that had just been planted in his heart.

“I-I will…” Hiro answers, biting his lip to try to hold back a fresh wave of tears. “P-Please… Just don’t leave…”

“We’ll see how good a job of being honest you can do and then we’ll see what happens,” Ezra answers, his tone guarded but relief starting to seep into his chest as he turns back towards his almost ex-boyfriend.

Hiro nods, swiping at his tears with the sleeve of the lab coat he always wore wherever he went. “Just--not here,” he says softly. “S-Somewhere more private…”

“Okay,” Ezra agrees with a nod, willing to meet him halfway on this. “After the show--we’ll head to Ghirardelli Square,” he offers, naming one of their favorite date locations.

“No.” Hiro shakes his head again. “Even more private. Just… Meet me at my table, okay?”

“I don’t know…” Ezra couldn’t help but feel slightly suspicious--was Hiro just setting him up again?

“Ez, please,” the other teen pleads with him. “T-This is really major and I can’t tell you just anywhere.”

“Okay, fine,” Ezra finally sighs, giving in. “But know that if you try anything stupid Sabine will make the rest of your life a living hell.”

“U-Understood,” Hiro agrees with a nod, visibly shaken.

“Good.” Ezra again felt the need to comfort his boyfriend, but he forces himself to stay strong. Still, before returning to the stage he does reach out to gently squeeze his hand and say more gently, “I’ll see you after the show, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” Hiro answers, giving him a nervous smile before heading back to his table.

“So, did you guys finally get things worked out?” Sabine asks when her brother mounts the stage, trying to act like she hadn’t totally been eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

“We’re meeting up after the show--I guess we’ll see where things go from there,” Ezra answers with a shrug, all too glad to get back to his microphone so he didn’t have to talk about the rather turbulent conversation.

Most of the latter half of the show passed in a blur--the band switched over to more generic, upbeat songs like the ones they usually played, Ezra’s need to vent having been satiated for the moment. As soon as they’re finished, he grabs his jacket and makes his way through the crowd and over to Hiro’s table--despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope, that maybe things weren’t actually over between them.

“Ready to go?” he asks the raven haired teen when he finally reaches him.

“As I’ll ever be,” Hiro answers, giving him a nervous smile before leading him towards the door.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Ezra queries as his boyfriend leads him over to his purple motor scooter--he couldn’t help but be curious as to what his idea of “private” might be.

“Just back to my house,” Hiro replies, his voice and expression strained, to say the least. “We can use the garage.”

As much as Ezra wanted to ask more questions, he knew that he wasn’t going to be getting any more answers ‘til they actually reached their destination and so he just climbs on behind his boyfriend, wrapping his arms tightly around him and letting Hiro take take the lead. It was a silent ride back to the Cafe--almost awkwardly so--and Ezra couldn’t help but be glad when it was over. It was weird being in an almost intimate position with someone when you weren’t even sure where you stood with them.

“C’mon, this way,” Hiro says, leading him around to the garage entrance instead of up to the main house. Ezra wasn’t completely surprised--the garage had always kind of been their hangout, plus it did offer them more privacy. Still, he was almost bursting with anticipation by the time they were inside with the door safely closed behind them.

“Okay, so, when are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asks, his impatience and frustration leaking into his voice again.

“I promise, I’m going to tell you!” Hiro says, his tone slightly desperate. “Just… Give me two seconds to change.”

“Change? You can tell me just as easily in what you’re wearing now as in something else!” Ezra almost snaps, hating that the other teen was stalling again--was this some sort of weird mind trick?

“Trust me, it’ll make a lot more sense if I show you than if I just tell you!” Hiro answers, a bit of defensive fire making its way into his own voice. “You’re not going to believe me otherwise!”

“Fine, fine!” Ezra finally sighs, plopping down onto the couch and crossing his arms over his chest. “Do whatever you need to do, I’ll be waiting here.”

“Thank you.” Hiro turns and heads into the back of the garage that was mainly obscured, apparently to change.

As much as Ezra might have been tempted to try to peek (he was human, after all, and Hiro was still leaving a lot of things up to the imagination at this point in their relationship), he tells himself that tonight is not the night for that and so instead he trains his eyes on a small stain on the far wall, refusing to compromise himself--after all, he was still technically mad at the other teen, now wasn’t the time to be trying to get off with him.

“A-All right…” Hiro’s voice finally comes from the back of the garage, sounding tight and almost… scared? That was definitely out of character--Hiro, outside of tonight, had never in Ezra’s memory sounded scared of anything. What secret was he holding that was that terrifying?

“A-Are you ready?”

“Of course I’m ready,” Ezra answers, turning towards him in hopes of getting a better idea what was going on but finding that his view of his boyfriend was stilll mostly obstructed by shelves of materials and various machines.

“Just… Promise you won’t freak out?”

“Hiro, why would I freak out? Whatever you’re hiding, it can’t be that bad!”

“Promise me!”

“Fine, fine, I promise! Just get out here already!” Ezra sighs in frustration.

“O-Okay…” With the sound of one final deep breath, Hiro steps out into the main garage.

For a full minute, Ezra’s mind wouldn’t process what he was seeing. No. No way. This wasn’t--there was no way this could be possible! He must be seeing things--right? It was possible that it was just a majorly detailed costume, but it looked way too real for that.

“H-Hiro…?” he finally manages to get out. “A-Are you the leader of Big Hero 7?”

“Yep,” Hiro agrees, a nervous but slightly proud look crossing his face. “Surprise?”

“I… You… W-Wow…” Ezra finally manages to get out, glad that he was sitting down because otherwise he definitely would have needed something soft to sink into while his brain tried to suddenly process this huge revelation. He honestly didn’t know that much about Big Hero 7 except the stories he’d seen on the news like everyone else over the years. He could still remember the first time he’d seen them on the news when he’d been about fifteen or sixteen, back when they’d still been Big Hero 6--taking down some crazy guy with a giant portal device. Despite living in such a technologically advanced city, the idea that there were actual superheroes and supervillains out there had sounded insane--impossible, even. And yet the vigilante heroes had returned time and time again to help out in crises and assist the police on their toughest cases. Ezra’s dad, who was a police officer, had told him about the times he had actually met the team, even once managing to get the team leader’s autograph for his admittedly fanboy son. Hiro had once jokingly accused Ezra of having a celebrity crush on the guy when he’d seen the framed piece of paper in his room. Now his amusement actually made sense--it was because he was the team leader! Oh gosh! Now everything made sense! The constant running off, the making all the excuses--it was because he was actually a superhero! His boyfriend was a freaking superhero!

“Ez, you look like you’re about to have a stroke,” Hiro says, seeming to be fighting a smile as he lays a hand on the other teen’s shoulder. “Breathe.”

“S-Sorry!” Ezra squeaks, only to blush when he realized how ridiculous he must be sounding--Hiro was still as much Hiro whether he was his nerdy, reclusive boyfriend or the leader of a superhero team. All the same, the tight fitting black jumpsuit beneath the purple and orange armor that displayed every bump and curve of the other teen’s body definitely wasn’t helping matters.

“You seem to be taking this pretty well,” Hiro says with a tiny smirk as he sits down across from him.

“W-Why wouldn’t I be taking this well?” Ezra asks in disbelief. “This is amazing!”

“Well, you seemed really pissed at me earlier…” Hiro admits, one hand nervously playing with the frayed edge of the couch cushion he was sitting on.

“I was,” Ezra admits, finally being brought back down to reality. “But… I can see that you had a pretty good reason for all those times you had to run off.”

“Yeah?” Hiro flashes him a hopeful smile.

“Yeah.” Ezra smiles back at him before asking softly, “Still… Why didn’t you just tell me before? Were you worried I’d be mad at you?”

“Partly,” Hiro answers, a somewhat guilty look coming onto his face. “Mostly, though, I was worried about your safety…”

“My safety?” Ezra asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“The less people outside the group know about this part of my life, the better,” Hiro replies quietly. “They make it look all exciting and cool on the news, but superhero life isn’t easy. I’ve got a lot of people--really bad people--who have it out for me, and they wouldn’t have any qualms about trying to use someone I love as leverage or to get revenge on me…”

“I… Guess that makes sense…” Ezra says slowly, considering this. “But wouldn’t it be better if I did know, so that I could try to prepare for that sort of thing instead of being caught off guard?”

“Y-You shouldn’t have to ‘prepare’ for something like that,” Hiro quietly mumbles. “No one should… I’ve honestly felt incredibly selfish for dating you these last thirteen months, putting you in danger like I have been…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back the guilt train up!” Ezra tells him firmly. “I was the one who flirted with you in the first place, and I was the one who chose to date you! Sure, maybe it would have been better if you’d told me about all of this earlier so I could have been a bit more prepared, but I don’t regret any of this!”

“Y-Yeah?” Hiro flashes him a nervous, slightly relieved smile.

“Definitely!” Ezra reassures him before adding, “I mean, all the rest of your family and friends are pretty much in the same ‘danger’ as I am, and you haven’t cut them off, have you?”

“Well, pretty much all of them except Aunt Cass are on the team…” Hiro admits with a slight smile.

“Oh… Seriously?” Ezra asks, his brain trying to process this new revelation.

“Yeah--it’s kind of a long story,” Hiro chuckles before promising, “I’ll have to tell it to you sometime when I’ve got a bit more emotional energy.”

“Sounds good,” Ezra agrees with a nod before a thought strikes him. “So… You’re saying that you’re okay with your friend and family knowing ‘cause they’re also superheroes and can defend themselves, right?”

“Right…” Hiro agrees, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

“Then why don’t you let me be a superhero too?”

“...You’re joking, right?”

“No! It would be totally awesome!”

“Ez, you do realize your dad is a police officer, right? How do you think he’d feel about you going vigilante?”

“He likes you guys, I’m sure he’d be fine with it!”

“No, he’d probably kill me for putting you in danger!”

“No he wouldn’t!”

“Yes, he definitely would!”

“...All right, fine. But maybe if you talked to him.--”

Ezra was cut off by Hiro pressing a quick, warm kiss to his mouth.

“Ez, I’d like to think there’s at least one person in my life that I care about who I haven’t put directly into the line of fire,” he says softly when he pulls away.

“...Okay, fine…” Ezra sighs--Hiro’s kisses always made it hard for him to be able to argue about anything. “But promise me you’ll think about it, at least?”

“All right, I’ll think about it,” Hiro promises, pecking him on the cheek before starting to stand up.

“Wait, where are you going?” Ezra asks, reaching out to grab his hand.

“I was thinking I could change back into normal clothes so maybe I could give you proper make up cuddles to apologize for everything I’ve put you through for the last year?” Hiro answers with a slight smile.

“Make up cuddles, yes,” Ezra says, pulling him back down onto the couch. “Changing? I’d say hold off on that.”

“Armor wasn’t exactly meant for cuddling,” Hiro points out, seeming slightly confused.

“Maybe not,” Ezra answers with a slight smile, his arms wrapping around his boyfriend’s waist. “But it is extremely sexy.”

“O-oh…” Hiro ducks his head, a bright red blush coming into his cheeks.

Ezra grins and playfully pecks him on the nose as he pulls him closer. “Now c’mon,” he says softly, “I think we both have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

“Sounds good,” Hiro agrees, smiling up at him before pulling him into a passionate kiss.

As Ezra eagerly kisses him back, he can’t help but think that tonight hadn’t gone anything like he’d planned. But this was easily the happiest he’d ever been to be wrong about something.