The first time Peter swore, Yondu thought it was hilarious.
“Come on, Petey, time for dinner,” he called. Kraglin had moaned about it, but he’d gone through the vents and put up barriers against the tunnels that led to dangerous areas. Peter had been delighted, and he’d spent a fair amount of time playing up there ever since. This afternoon, he'd been playing spies.
“No thank you, Papa,” Peter called. Yondu rolled his eyes. The kid seemed to think that as long as he politely refused, he wasn’t really being disobedient.
“Nice manners, Peter, but that doesn’t mean you get to say no. It’s dinner time,” Yondu told him firmly.
“I’m not done yet!” he protested. “I haven’t found the treasure!”
“One,” Yondu said. Peter fell quiet, but he didn’t otherwise move. He probably didn’t know what would happen when he got to three- hell, Yondu didn’t know what he planned on doing, either. “Two.” At this, Peter scampered out of the vents quickly. He was frowning, but he didn’t seem willing to test the issue. He pouted at Yondu even as he reached up to be carried.
“Asshole,” he whined as Yondu scooped him up. Yondu couldn’t help it; he busted out laughing. The kid clearly didn’t understand the emphasis of the word, as he was currently snuggling into Yondu’s shoulder. The boy was mildly irritated, but not upset enough to warrant the use of such a word.
He considered explaining the nuances of the word to the kid, but he’d already started chattering about his game again. It was probably a one-time thing.
The second time he heard Peter swore, it was still pretty funny.
One of the younger crew members was poking and teasing at him, just generally being a pest. Yondu considered stepping in, but the ribbing seemed to be in good fun, and Peter seemed only mildly annoyed.
That was, until Dizz swiped his music played.
“Whatcha got, Pete?” he asked teasingly. “Can I listen?” Peter saw red.
“Give it back, give it back, it’s mine!” he shouted, leaping at the teen. He knew better than to bite, but it didn’t stop him from trying to wrest the device away from Dizz, smacking him in the face repeatedly. Dizz, who hadn’t been expecting the assault, dropped the thing in shock. Miraculously, Peter caught it. He glared at Dizz, as if trying to decide if he wanted to continue the tantrum now that he had his music player back.
"You almost broked it!" he said accusingly.
“That’s enough, Peter,” Yondu said after a pause. Normally he’d give the kid a time-out for hitting, but he’d give him a pass because he knew how damned sensitive he was about the ‘Walkman.’ Dizz really should have known better.
“Dizz is a dick-shit!” Peter complained. The room was silent, aside from Peter’s panting breaths. The entire crew was torn between laughter and surprise. They always thought it was hilarious when Peter had a fit, as long as they weren’t the targets. However, they hadn't witnessed a tantrum like this in months. The use of the term ‘dick-shit’ just made the situation that much funnier. Still, as much as they indulged him, even they knew they couldn't encourage his behavior by laughing. Yondu stifled a laugh, though he tried to make himself look stern. Aside from the swearing, Peter was still back-talking him- that was unacceptable.
“Peter,” he said sternly. Peter wilted.
“He’s just a baby, Cap’n,” Tullk reminded him casually. He didn’t want to seem as if he was trying to undermine his captain. “Dizz took his toy, and he acted like babies do. He’s done with his fit now, ain’t you Petey?” Peter usually resented being called a baby, but he sensed that it was going to get him out of trouble in this situation. He nodded quickly.
“I’m done!”
“Tullk’s right, Captain. ‘S my fault, I shoulda knocked it off. I know that music thing’s real special to him,” Dizz offered. “I’m sorry, Pete.” Peter regarded him suspiciously for a moment, as if assessing the validity of the apology, then smiled.
“’S okay, Dizz, I forgive you ‘cause you said sorry real nice,” he said sweetly, climbing up in the teen’s lap to give him a hug. Yondu rolled his eyes as the crew cooed. Sure, he was glad his men had taken to the boy, but he didn’t exactly appreciate his parenting decisions being questioned by a crew full of big, tough, scary Ravagers who would bend over backwards to keep the kid happy.
“Hey, on the bright side, Cap, he’s learnin’ apologies go both ways,” Kraglin pointed out with a grin. Yondu gave him the finger.
The third time Peter swore in front of him, Yondu realized something had to change.
During dinner, Peter accidentally dropped his fork on the floor.
“Son of a bitch,” he said with a disappointed sigh. The crew roared in laughter. Yondu laughed too, but a bit uneasily. Peter laughed along with them, not sure what had happened, but happy to have done something funny. "Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch!" he chanted.
“Is this a regular occurrence?” Yondu asked Kraglin out of the corner of his mouth. Besides Yondu, Kraglin spent the most time with the boy. The teen snorted.
“Kid just might be in the running for filthiest mouth on the ship- called me a ‘motherfucker’ the other day for ruffling his hair the wrong way.” Kraglin frowned. “Ain’t you heard him?”
“Not that much,” Yondu muttered. “Should I be concerned about this?”
“Probably,” the teen admitted. “It’d be one thing if he knew how to use ‘em properly, but he doesn’t quite understand, ya know?” He paused. “Plus, you take him out in public, a toddler with a mouth like that might draw some unwanted attention.” Yondu sighed.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Hey, Pete,” Yondu said later that night when he was getting the kid ready for bed.
“Uh-huh?” He blinked up at Yondu sleepily, and he found it hard to believe that this toddler with big green eyes and fluffy blonde hair was swearing like- well, like a Ravager.
“You ‘member those words you were saying earlier?” Peter shrugged.
“Which words? ‘Uh-huh’?” Yondu sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought.
“Petey, there are certain words that aren’t very polite, so we shouldn’t say ‘em.” Peter nodded.
“Like ‘stupid’,” Peter offered. Yondu snorted. Only Peter would consider ‘stupid’ taboo, and ‘motherfucker’ acceptable. A strange mix of old values he’d learned from his mama, and new things he was learning from the Ravagers.
“Yeah, sure. Anyways, there’s some words that you’ve been saying that ain’t very nice, so let’s not say those anymore, okay?” Peter nodded along with him. Yondu had found the kid was most cooperative when he kept his tone light.
“Sure. Which ones?” Yondu froze. He hadn’t thought he’d need to provide the kid with a comprehensive list- plus, he didn’t want to accidentally teach him new ones!
“Uh... Let’s just go over the words you’ve learned recently, and I’ll tell you if they’re good or bad. Deal?” Peter nodded.
“Engine.”
“Good.”
“Blaster.”
“Good.”
“Firing pin.”
“Good.” Yondu was beginning to think this was going to be a pointless exercise.
“Fuck.” Yondu stifled his surprise.
“Um, that’s a bad one. That’s actually a real bad one- one of the worst ones,” Yondu said seriously, trying to stifle his laughter. Peter frowned.
“Am I in trouble?” Yondu shook his head.
“Nah, son. You didn’t know. Just don’t say it again, all right?” Peter nodded obediently.
They continued the game until Yondu was positive they’d identified all the swears Peter knew. He was a little surprised about how much the boy had learned- profanity and otherwise. Kraglin’s lessons were paying off; the boy had learned most of the parts of the ship in a few short months.
Children were like sponges, he mused. Peter had absorbed knowledge of the Ravager life rapidly- he’d have to watch out for that.