He and Clint were fighting.
Actually, fighting was a strong word, squabbling was more accurate.
And honestly he’d be more amazed if they actually made it a single day without it.
Natasha had made them a sign that reads "_ Days Since an Argument" and the highest they'd gotten was 5.
And Clint had been out of the country and undercover for all of them.
“Oh please bird brain, the only reason arrows would ever be better in a fight would be if this was Lord of the Rings.” He says with a dismissive wave.
“First of all, that movie is totally badass. Second, you’re acting like I didn’t use them to save your ass at least once or twice.” Clint says with a smirk, throwing a ball of paper at Tony’s head.
Tony easily catches it and just lets out a snort, “I let you think that so you would feel better, honestly I could pretty much just be the Avengers myself, except that wouldn’t be great for my ego issue.”
“And look how humble you are.” Clint says as he doges the ball that Tony throws back. “Just admit it, you need me.”
“Like a fish needs a bicycle.” Tony says with a laugh, typing a new formula into his computer.
“Oh really? So when you were freaking out last week because you couldn’t find Steve on the GPS, who saved you from having a heart attack over him?” Clint says with a smug smile.
Oh, now that’s just playing dirty.
He might have been freaking out, just the littlest bit, and Clint thought he had saved the day because he remembered that Coulson had said Steve was with him.
Big whoop.
“Sorry that my friend was missing and I was concerned.” Tony says, faking offense.
“Oh please, he wasn’t missing! He went to SHIELD headquarters and forgot his phone and you were about to call a search party!” Clint says with a laugh as he starts wolfing down a bag of cheetos.
“Oh yeah? Well last time Natasha was mad at you, you practically begged me to come up with a new holster to get back on her good side.” Tony says with a laugh, remembering that groveling fondly.
Clint liked to pretend he was immune to any bullshit, but anytime Natasha was upset with him, he all but plotted how to fake his own death.
“Like you would want Natasha on your bad side, you know you would do the exact same thing.” Clint says, his mouth now orange with cheeto dust. “Besides, remember the last time she was pissed at you? At least I didn’t rent out an entire ballet.”
“That was to get back at you, because I knew she would drag you to that and I happen to know you hate ballet.” Tony says, “By the way, how long was that ballet? Three hours? Or was it four? I looked for the longest one I could find, but I just can’t remember?”
“Aww well then, I don’t feel so bad about telling you about the time I sort of ratted you out to Coulson? Remember that time you got grounded for two weeks because someone let it slip to him that you removed some SHIELD mandated safety features to your suit? Yeahhhhhh, sorry bud. I guess two weeks is a little longer to be punished than three hours.” Clint says, looking smug as sin.
That. Little. Shit.
Most of their pranks were harmless enough, annoying at times, but that was seriously over the line.
While Tony was benched and all but forced to make modifications on the suit, the team had gone on a mission where Steve ended up all but beaten to a pulp.
Too far Clint, too far.
Tony can feel the anger and hurt boil up, clouding the rational side of his mind until his entire verbal filter is gone.
“Well then I don’t feel bad about telling you that Steve and I fucked in your farmhouse.” Tony says, feeling his anger slip out.
“What?” Clint asks, his mouth hanging open and cheetos falling out.
“What.” Tony says back defiantly.
“What?” A voice asks behind them.
They both whip their heads around and see the team there, most noticeably Steve standing there, arms crossed and a stern expression across his face.
“I- Shit- He provoked me!” He sputters out.
He had promised Steve he wouldn’t tell anyone, crossed his heart, but god damnit he was a man and even he had his limits.
“Seriously Tony? He provoked you so you told everyone that one secret I asked you to keep? He provokes you every two seconds!” Steve says sternly, his expression unreadable.
“He was the one who got me benched for that mission where you got the shit beat out of you! I am not saying sorry.” Tony says, crossing his arms.
“Well you should at least say sorry to me. Because you could have at least held it together for one more day. It would have been a little classier telling everyone we’re dating over team dinner, like we had planned.” Steve says, his face breaking into a smile.
“What?” Clint asks, sitting down in shock.
“What?” Bruce asks, lowering his glasses.
“What!” Thor asks joyously, looking for someone to hug.
“About fucking time.” Natasha mutters.
“Yeahhhhh, we’re dating. And fucking. A lot. Hope this doesn’t make things weird.” Tony says with a shrug.
“Yes, and we had planned on telling all of you tomorrow, in a well prepared speech which I spent the better part of a week writing. But honestly, I’ll be the first to say I should have known better.” Steve says as he shakes his head.
“You really should have. You’re dating me now, you shouldn’t be surprised by anything I do. Well except for that thing I did in bed last night, oh my gosh you were not expecting that-“ Tony rambles.
“Stoppppppppppppp. Excuse me, I need to go have my farm house sterilized. Or burned down. I’ll decide on that way.” Clint says as he all but runs out of the room.