Sentinel

Rhodey, unfortunately, starts paying way more attention to Tony. It wasn’t something he’d usually mind, he liked attention, but he would have preferred if Rhodey kept a little distance. Pepper was on him too, always around when Rhodey wasn’t, or at least not physically. Tony was pretty sure he checked in on his mind often and he didn’t really know what to make of that. He understood why Rhodey did it he just wanted his mind to be well… his.

None of this made him sleep any more than he usually did but he tended to stay indoors more, mostly because the one time he managed to sneak out during the day Rhodey busted him and shooed him back inside. So it was somewhat unusual that he was outside, but in his defense it was twilight and he had an umbrella so he figured Rhodey would leave him be.

“Did you talk to someone?” Someone asks, making Tony jump for a moment before he realizes it’s Bucky.

“Yeah and Rhodey has been up my ass all week. And he stole all my Xanax,” he says grumpily. All his hidden stashes too, and he had been smart enough to look all over the rest of campus. Guess he knew Tony better than he thought, or maybe he caught wind of Tony’s thoughts and got to his hidden stashes before Tony did. Either way he was annoyed that his drugs were stolen.

Bucky sighs, “I should have known you’d twist my words, not that I didn’t notice you said something to Rhodey. He’s been around you more than usual, which I didn’t even think was possible. Have you talked to anyone else?” Bucky asks, obviously meaning a trained professional.

“No, and not for a lack of Rhodey trying. He stole all my pot and booze too,” Tony says, offended at this. He could have left him something behind.

“Good. I hope it helps. You should talk to someone who can actually deal with this though, Rhodey can only do so much,” Bucky tells him somewhat gently.

“Look, I’m not out at noon drinking and I have an umbrella to keep the sun from zapping my energy, what more can you ask for?” Probably lots but he keeps that to himself.

Bucky considers Tony for a long moment before he sits down beside him, “are you feeling any better?” he asks. He’s interested in the answer, Tony can tell, because he could see the interest in both his facial expression and his aura. When he drank or took some kind of pill it usually dulled his ability to see the colors that surrounded people, making them more manageable. Now that he didn’t have that seeing the colors was a lot more distracting and it gave him a headache to look at people sometimes.

“Not really. Auras give me headaches and sometimes I just want to take a shit in private but Rhodey insists on crawling up my ass. Guess at least I know that if I do want to talk to someone he’ll listen though.” Maybe a little too much but he was there for Tony at least.

“I knew he would,” Bucky says, “you have a good amount of support you know. I’m sure your mom would listen too. Peggy doesn’t keep friends that aren’t up to her standards and her standards are high.”

True, Tony knows, because Rhodey is her favorite student and her expectations for him were always higher than everyone else’s even before Rhodey got serious. He’s surprised at the mention of his mother though because aside from the occasional dropping in on Tony’s life and her appearance in two of Rhodey’s classes she was mostly absent from his life. But she was a good person nonetheless, even if Tony wished she were around more. Sometimes he wondered if she avoided him because he looked so much like Howard and he resented his piece of shit father more for giving Tony any of his physical looks.

He doesn’t respond to Bucky and instead they sit in relative silence until Tony remembered he was a guardian who probably had guardian things to do. Bucky informs him that he was out for a morning run and had just gotten back though so Tony feels less guilty about keeping him here. The air is brisk, winter was coming soon, and Tony shivered. He had less resistance to the elements than Bucky did and he felt temperature changes faster. Damn vampire genes. If it wasn’t for that pesky devoting his entire life to a Moroi he’d rather be a Dhampir. But he’s selfish and he could never put someone ahead of himself like Rhodey did with him all the time. He’d end up running off and he’d bring shame to his family instead of his father doing it for him. Guess the good news is that he couldn’t possibly top turning into an evil undead creature as far as disappointment goes.

“Are you cold?” Bucky asks after a few long moments.

“A little,” Tony admits, curling into himself some. Actually he was quite chilly now- he should have thought to bring a jacket given that the sun was going down, meaning the temperature dropped with it.

He jumps a little in surprise when Bucky wraps an arm around him but relaxes into it quickly. “Do Dhampirs run a higher temperature or what? Because I’m jealous.” Rhodey always felt warm to him too but maybe that was because muscle kept him warm or something. He and Pepper practically had to glue themselves together to gather any warmth in the winter between classes and they both glued themselves to Rhodey in their afternoon classes.

“Nah, we just don’t react to the weather like Moroi do. You guys are sensitive to the changes and we aren’t. It also helps that I’m used to this kind of weather thanks to morning runs,” Bucky says.

“Part of training?” Tony guesses. Rhodey did some extra running somewhat often too, a tip he got from Peggy that only a few other students decided to pick up on. They were among the students Peggy preferred.

“It is,” Bucky confirms.

“Why though? I thought you guys were trained to kill Strigoi, not run from them.” He had never asked Rhodey about it and now he kind of wished he did. He had a million and one questions about being a guardian now that he thought about it and it would look weird if he asked them all to Bucky instead of you know, the entire person that was his best friend that would also have all the answers he’s looking for. Even if he kind of preferred asking Bucky. Rhodey might think he was getting ideas or something when mostly he was just curious.

“We are, but we’re also trained to use the safest method of getting our Moroi to safety. Sometimes that’s running and that’s why beheading a Strigoi is rare, it takes too much time and leaves you and your Moroi too open to attack,” Bucky explains. That made sense in it’s own weird way, but with the way novices talked he didn’t think running would ever be an option they would consider except maybe Rhodey and even that was questionable. Rhodey liked to face his problems head on and Tony got the feeling that’d translate to a fight.

“Have you ever done it? Behead a Strigoi I mean,” Tony clarifies.

Bucky nods. “When… when some of these attacks started getting a little weird I was technically on vacation, one Steve all but forced me to take, and a friend of mine asked if I could help the guardians out at a family get together that night. I agreed because I was bored and at that point in my life I honestly had no idea how to do anything but be a guardian. I was patrolling outside when something caught my eye and I was lucky it did too. The black that I noticed didn’t fit in with the shadows and if I hadn’t seen the Strigoi there I would have been dead in seconds easily. I staked that one and I heard one of the other patrolling guardians yell across the yard about Strigoi. There were only four that time, but I ended up shoving on into a fireplace and the other one got axed. The guys there joked that only I’d manage to kill Strigoi in all three possible ways in a single night. Probably why I have a reputation I don’t deserve,” he mumbles.

Tony was surprised one of those Strigoi would have made it into the house unless the fireplace was outside, which was possible given that this was one hundred percent a bunch of Royal Moroi getting together. But killing Strigoi in all three possible ways in a single event was impressive mostly because they usually don’t show up in groups that large.

“Because of Steve?” Tony asks softly, wondering if Bucky blamed himself for his Moroi dying.

“That’s part of it yeah. I should have been able to protect him but it’s more than that. I… do you ever get the feeling that people see you in a totally different way than you see yourself and you’re on edge, waiting for them to see you like you do? It feels like I’m a sham most days, like people are only seeing me in part and it’s only ever the good parts. Makes me wonder what they’d do if they saw all the bad,” Bucky says.

The admission is more than a little personal and Tony was surprised. People didn’t tend to open up to him much, if ever. He had a reputation that suggested he wasn’t the kind of person you went to when you had a problem. Nevertheless, “I know what you mean,” he says, “before Howard I had a pretty weird reputation too. I was kind of known as a womanizing bastard and I never was comfortable with that but sometimes when people expect you to play the part, well, you do. Then Howard happened and now everyone thinks I’m four seconds away from going Strigoi at any moment. To be honest some of the rumors, before I used the compulsion, were nasty enough that I was tempted to do it just so I could make them suffer.” He doesn’t mean to say that last bit but for a moment he feels that burning rage he felt then.

How dare his classmates compare his actions to Howard’s when there was nothing to suggest he’d ever do what Howard did? Why did everyone have to suddenly decide he was a bad person because someone else made a bad decision? Howard’s actions shouldn’t have had repercussions for him and his mother when they were as much Howard’s victims as the guy he killed, maybe even more so given his years of abuse. Rhodey once said that he wished he knew his dad, most Dhampirs didn’t know their fathers, but Tony always thought that he was lucky for it. He had a father and they weren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

“Everyone wants someone to hurt at some point in their life, but they rarely follow through on hurting them. Your classmates are shortsighted though because I doubt you’ve ever been what they think you are, especially not now,” Bucky says, looking down at him.

Tony realizes how close they are now though logically they have been sitting close this whole time. At some point Tony started leaning into Bucky, probably for warmth, but he was comfortable there under Bucky’s remaining arm. “And what do you see in me that other’s don’t?” he asks softly. Damaged goods was what came to his mind but the thought leaves as quickly as it came. Instead he focuses on the strangely bright blue of Bucky’s eyes that kind of reminded him of the Vankov family. They were a group of Royals that came from Eastern Europe, like most Royals before they got more spread out and the families shifted and changed as new people took power. Tony’s own family was Italian. It was odd though, seeing the bright blue elsewhere and he wonders if maybe Bucky was some Vankov’s illegitimate kid but he brushes the ludicrous thought aside.

“For one I think you’re smarter than anyone realizes. People know you’re good in school but I don’t think they realize you’re intelligent, astonishingly so. You managed to hide some pretty severe mental health issues from someone who can all but read your mind and that’s probably the least that you can do. And I think you’re far more caring than people assume you are too. I always hear the word ‘selfish’ attached to you but I know you did your best to dull that bond because you didn’t want to impede on Rhodey’s life, and I know you sit in on his classes because you want to give him some kind of sign that you support him. You could be anywhere else but you chose there for a reason. And I think that you’re hurt more than anyone knows because people assume that when you tell jokes you’re in a good mood, but that’s the furthest from the truth. You tell jokes to deflect from yourself, you do it so people stop looking at you and that’s why you snap at people too. You don’t want anyone too close,” Bucky tells him.

Tony can see the way his aura lights up with the speech too, the colors showing an array of emotions that ranged anywhere from mild annoyance to attachment to a strange sense of responsibility. But mostly what he sees is that Bucky believes every word that came out of his mouth and he should because they hit too close to home for Tony to be comfortable with.

“I thought you were going to say something about my good looks and charm but alright, I’m smart. I’ll take it,” he quips and Bucky’s lips quirk up.

“Deflecting. I hit too close to home, didn’t I?” he asks. Tony doesn’t dignify that with a response because it probably didn’t need one. “Don’t be so frightened, Tony, you’ve managed to hit a bit close to home for me too.”

“When?” Tony asks, racking his brain for a time when Bucky was more vulnerable than he was. He couldn’t remember one. Guardians weren’t meant to be vulnerable, they were meant to be strong.

“You remind me of him. Steve,” Bucky says, “with all that passion and stubbornness. You’re a totally different person but sometimes… sometimes I swear you’re just like him.”

“In your defense we’re probably related. Royal families are less comprised of family trees and more comprised of family wreaths,” he says. He was sure he was related to the Rogers family somewhere.

Bucky laughs, “you’re not wrong,” he says eventually. No, Tony knew he wasn’t because finding a Royal that wasn’t related to him was like finding a specific needle in a pile of needles. It just wasn’t possible. And people looked down on him for dating the commonwealth. Better than his cousins in his opinion. So he slept with the lowly Moroi who weren’t from the Royal families, at least he wasn’t going to have inbred babies. Actually he wouldn’t be having any babies if he had his way.

They sit in comfortable silence as the sun drops low enough in the sky that Tony doesn’t need the umbrella to keep him out of the sun anymore so he folds it and sets it at his feet. “Ten bucks says I can get Rhodey to punch Justin Hammer full force in the face today,” Tony says as the sky turns a dark shade of purple. People would be getting up soon.

“Please get him to do it, I really dislike him for some reason,” Bucky says, wrinkling his nose.

“You dislike him because he’s fucking annoying,” Tony tells him, “and his voice is like nails on a chalkboard.”

“True, but I feel like I should have a real reason for disliking him,” Bucky says, looking down at Tony.

Tony leans his head on Bucky’s shoulder, “trust me being Justin Hammer is enough to make anyone hate the guy. Even Rhodey hates him and Rhodey just can’t hate anybody.” It was true, he was far more forgiving than Tony could ever be.

Bucky smiles, “so I know he stole your crackers and that’s why you don’t like him, but how come he hates you?” Bucky asks.

“He’s jealous of my good looks and charm,” Tony says without missing a beat, batting his eyelashes at Bucky.

He doesn’t expect Bucky to take the comment seriously but he does, bright blue eyes roaming Tony’s face. “Well, there’s a lot to be jealous of,” Bucky admits.

Tony grins, “‘course there is, I’m gorgeous,” he says, offering a dazzling smile.

Bucky considers Tony for a moment before smiling just a little himself and pressing his forehead to Tony’s, “yeah, you are,” he breaths and oh. Tony didn’t intend for this to happen but… well Bucky was more than his type and he’s always been known for being reckless plus… well Bucky knew stuff about him that other people didn’t. And he’s really pretty.

Plus his momma didn’t raise a quitter so he tilts his head up a little and kisses Bucky. It’s short and sweet and Tony wants more but Bucky pulls away for a moment before he places another small kiss on Tony’s lips, “go to class,” he tells him and Tony groans. Class. He hated class.