Sam
It has been silent for far too long. She’s long since pulled away from Bucky, and is staring at the floor with a look of confusion on her face.
So, he jumps when she finally speaks. “I don’t understand.” She shakes her head and scoots further away from him and looks into his eyes. “I remember the rain…” Y/N nods her head slowly. “I remember that it hurt, the rain was stinging my skin.”
His heart is pounding hard. “But why…” Y/N whispers, “Do you think it’s your fault?” Something like anger sweeps over her features. “Why do you think it’s your fault? Why does everyone think it’s your fault?”
“I was driving…I…didn’t make you wear a helmet. I-,”
“So? We were run off the road. It was my choice not to wear the helmet.”
Bucky looks at her with desperation in his eyes. “Don’t do this, doll. Don’t. Don’t tell me it isn’t my fault. It is. Everything is my fault.”
“But it wasn’t! It wasn’t. You were protecting me. You-,”
He squeezes his eyes shut, clenches his fists. “I drove you away! I made you think that I hated you! I thought…I thought you were cheating on me. And everyone thought I was abusing you-,”
Fury fleets over her body and she stands, begins pacing violently back and forth. “But you weren’t! And I think…I’ve been around you these past couple of months and I…I don’t know I don’t think you could have. You would never lay a hand on me.”
“Everyone is going to tell you not to trust me. You are the only person who knows the full story other than me. Everyone is going to say not to-,”
She shakes her head. “I don’t care. I think they’re wrong.”
“You don’t remember-,”
“I am tired of everyone telling me what to think! I want to make my own decisions. I’ve been around you for awhile now and I trust you. I think I love you. You've been nothing but kind and generous and patient and you make me laugh. And nothing is going to change my mind about that. I think I'm falling in love with you and nothing is going to change that!” She's breathing hard, her bottom lip trembling as she lifts her chin in defiance and dares him to contradict her. He doesn't want to and so he says nothing for a moment.
Bucky stands up then and takes her face between his hands. “I love you. That is never going to change.” He leans forward to slant his mouth over hers, moves his lips so slowly against hers, so carefully as if he's trying to memorize everything about her. “No matter what happens, or what you decide, I’ll always wait for you.”
“I have to tell Sam. About what happened at the accident.”
He presses his forehead to hers. “Okay.” Then, “Why?”
She fidgets before she reaches up to wrap her hands around his wrists. “Because I have the most memories of him. Sam and I are friends. Everyone else is blurry and distant but Sam is clear. He’s been there for me since I woke up.”
“I know. I would have-,”
Y/N leans up and kisses him. “I know you would have been too if they had given you the chance to be.” She pulls away again, leaving him to feel very cold. “I have another question.”
Fear threads in his veins, tightens his chest, threatens to choke him. “What?”
“What happened to Rumlow?”
~
“Hey Y/N,” Sam nods at her as he comes into the apartment. “Lookin’ good,” he jerks his chin at the painting she’s working on.
She smiles. “Thanks. I think they’re starting to mimic the way my art was before.”
Sam grabs a water from the fridge and turns to her with a frown on his face. “You’re trying to get it to mimic before?”
Y/N shakes her head and plops down on the paint splattered sheet spread across the living room floor, as she stares up at the canvas. “Not exactly. It’s just…starting to. The more that comes back-,”
“Right,” Sam says, coming to sit down next to her on the floor. He’s wearing a sweatshirt and athletic shorts, and Y/N leans away from him a little, wrinkling her nose.
“You smell.” There's a thin sheen of sweat on his skin from his run.
Sam ignores her, rolling his eyes as they look at the half-finished painting together. “I want to talk to you about Barnes.”
She sighs. “What about him?”
For a moment he’s quiet, choosing his words carefully before he speaks. “Well…I’m just trying to look out for you okay? I know you spend a lot of time together now. I know he’s telling you his version of the past-,”
“The only version.”
“What?”
She turns to meet his eyes, “It is the only version of the past. No one else was there. And…from what I remember about him, from how he’s treats me now, and from how I feel, I simply don’t think he could hurt me. His version of events make sense.”
“Look, I’m not trying to discredit him. I’m just saying there are two sides to every story.”
Y/N reaches over and takes his hand. “Why were you the only one to defend him? Even Steve doubted him. But you-,”
“When we were kids...I saw something that convinced me even then that he’d never hurt you, that he'd do everything to stop that from happening. And he continued to prove it while we grew up. But Br-,” He stops and glances over.
She squeezes his hand. “I know about Brock Rumlow remember?"
Sam sighs. “Alright, well, he continued to prove he was a little asshole. He always pushed you around and said mean things to you. And, well, I never thought much of the little boy who pushed the girl down because he liked her. Barnes, no matter how angry he was at the world, was soft with you. He’d get these big doe eyes and follow you around like it would kill him if he didn’t. And he was protective. Very, very protective and I just, somehow, could never imagine the switch flipping.”
He continues after a beat of silence. “Brock, on the other hand, always seemed jealous and like he had it out for everyone. Especially you and Barnes.”
Silence settles as the late afternoon light floats across the room. It warms their skin, illuminates the paint spattered across her old jeans and t-shirt. “But what about Steve?”
“What about Steve?” Sam asks, playing with the label on his water bottle with his free hand.
She bites her lip rather hard, “Steve is his best friend and-and Steve even thought that-,”
But he’s already shaking his head. “He didn’t think so. But he did think that you should have been kept apart, for the time being. And he thought…all the evidence we had pointed to…he never wanted to believe it. I don’t think he believed it about Bucky but he cares about you too. And it really looks like-,” he shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “Anyways, Steve and Bucky are okay. And we’re all on his side. Just like you wanted us to be.”
“He hasn’t done anything,” she says, her voice suddenly fierce. “He’s was…maybe it could have been handled better but he didn’t do anything.”
Sam leans back and sighs heavily. “I know. Where is the guy anyways?”
She shrugs. “With Steve. At physical therapy, I think. For his arm.”
“Well since the shadow has disappeared I’m going to tell you about the moment I decided Bucky Barnes would rather die than do something to hurt you.”
A smile graces her face. “Okay.”
~
“Hey!” Sam’s just rounded the corner into the apartment and found Y/N on the floor. He’s just come from playing basketball at a friend’s, ready to eat dinner at Y/N’s house as he and his father did once a week every week. He stares down at her. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Her bottom lip trembles before she bites it. “Bucky made a new friend and he’s better than me because he’s a boy.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
She shrugs a little helplessly and looks up at Sam. “You shouldn’t cuss you know. Dad says it’ll make your tongue fall out.”
He shrugs, “My dad says the same thing. It doesn’t mean it’s true.” When she doesn’t argue with him he sits down next to her. “Who’s his new friend then?”
“Some kid. Just moved here and now they’re in love.”
Sam snorts. “Sure.” She doesn’t say anything again, only rubs her eyes tiredly and looks at the floor. “What happened?”
She shrugs. “He’s my only friend in my class because everyone thinks I’m too loud and weird. And then this kid, Steve, shows up and they’re suddenly best friends. No one wants to talk to me and if they do it’s to say something mean. And Bucky just said, ‘see ya later Y/N!’ and left me alone. He went to play baseball after school and everyone loves Bucky this year. So everybody went and he didn’t invite me. Made sure everyone else was being nice to the new kid but…Brock pushed me down and said nobody wanted me there. I don't know what I did to make everyone hate me all of a sudden."
“Barnes didn’t say anything?”
“Didn’t see it,” she whispers. “And he was supposed to help with my project and now it’ll never get done in time for the art show next weekend.”
Sam stands and offers his hand to her, “I’ll help you finish up your art and then we’ll go see Barnes.”
“Sam-,”
“C’mon! We haven’t got all day.”
She smiles and takes his hand. “Thanks Sammy.”
~
Later that evening, covered in paint and grinning from ear to ear, they make their way back to the baseball pitch. “Everybody loves you Y/N,” Sam says. “Everyone has really liked you for a long time. I don’t know why this year would be any different.” Sam thinks maybe someone might have said something to the other kids, to make them steer clear of Y/N.
She shrugs. “I dunno.”
Then they’re at the pitch, but baseball is no longer going on. Instead Bucky is sitting in the grass alone, everyone else having gone home. Bucky looks up suddenly, his eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles and spots Sam and Y/N.
“Y/N!” He shouts happily. “Where have you been? We needed a pitcher…” His voice trails off as the two come closer. “What’s going on?”
Sam crosses his arms, “You have some real nerve Barnes.”
Bucky looks confusedly between the two them as he rips up grass with one hand. Mostly he looks at Y/N and the paint smeared on her clothes. “Did you finish your project? I told you that I’d help you with it. I was just about to head over. Steve just left, I was talking to him.” He sounds more than a little hurt that she would do something with Sam that they normally did together.
“I went home because you didn’t want me here and so Sam helped me.”
“Didn’t want you here?” He looks between the two of them. “Who told you that? I told you I'd see you here.”
Y/N looks away and crosses her arms. “No one had to tell me. I know you don't want me around anymore.”
“Who?” He growls out.
“Brock.” She admits as Sam glares at Bucky, warning him with his eyes that he’d better fix this. No one liked to see Y/N upset and ever since the beginning of the school year everyone had suddenly been mean to her. Mean and hurtful, acting exactly the way someone else they knew acted towards her.
He frowns, “What did he say?”
She wipes at her nose and refuses to look at Bucky. “He said that you didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I’m a girl. That everyone’s always made fun of you for it, hanging around a girl all the time. And then he pushed me down and said to stay away from you and the pitch and so I did. I thought you just didn’t want to hurt my-,”
“He pushed you? He said that?” Bucky pauses, absorbs the information. "Did he hurt you? What else did he say?" He doesn't give them a chance to answer.
Sam steps in front of Bucky who has suddenly sprung up from the grass with murder in his eyes. “Hey,” Sam says carefully. “He’s bigger and older than you. I don’t think-,”
But Bucky is shoving Sam out of the way and charging off. “Bucky!” Y/N yells after him. But he really can’t be stopped.
~
“What happened then?” Y/N asks quietly as the sun begins to fade.
Sam shrugs. “Old Bucky boy got his ass kicked and we had to drag him home. A year older made the difference at the time. Brock had shot up a few inches and Bucky was still scrawny and thin. Somewhere along the way we met Steve and he helped us get Barnes home.”
“He would only let you patch him up and the whole time he smiled up at you like he didn’t have a black eye and bruised ribs. And ya know…looking back on it now he had to go home and do it all again but he smiled for you. Even if you yelled at him for being an idiot.”
“And me and Steve stood in the doorway and listened as the front door opened and our dads came down the hall. Bucky looked up at you with a bloody lip and said, ‘Worth it. It will always be worth it, for you.’ I knew, even then, that he meant it and that he would always defend you, never hurt you or let some other asshole hurt you.”
She glances down at Sam’s hand, still resting against hers before she smiles. “Thanks Sam. Don’t get so serious. It doesn’t suit you.”
He sighs, “I know. Just thought you should know that Barnes has always looked bad for a lot of reasons but, Rumlow’s always been fucked up. Especially over you and Barnes. He's always been jealous.”