Reveal
Bucky stands there in the kitchen, Y/N trembling in the corner, her back turned to him as she grips the counter with shaky hands. He could leave it like he usually does, turn around and walk back to the couch, sit there quietly and give her space.
But something makes him stay in place this time. “Y/N.” He walks forward and touches her shoulder. “Doll, you gotta talk to me. Don’t shut me out. It could have been just a dream. You have to let me help you.”
“But he’s bad right?” Her voice is small and afraid and it breaks his heart. Before he can answer she suddenly spins and falls into his arms, wrapping her arms securely around his middle. She presses her face into his right shoulder and lets out an exhausted sigh.
It’s the first time she’s let him this close since the accident…since before the accident. He hugs her back tightly, carefully kissing the side of her head. It feels right. She lets out a surprised but content noise before sinking further into his arms.
“I’m not afraid of you. I'm sorry I said that.”
“Okay, babydoll.”
“You feel different.”
He jolts, because she remember what it felt like to hug him, be near him. “I lost a lot of muscle mass, a lot of weight.” Maybe there’s something to her theory about different senses helping to bring back memories.
“And you’re skinny.” She pauses and sniffles. “You used to be bigger.” Y/N sounds amazed, like she can’t quite believe that she’s remembered something. Her fingers dig tightly into the flesh of his back.
He huffs out a soft laugh. “Thanks.”
Quiet. Even the city is silent out the open windows.
“I want to talk about it.” She swallows. “About why I was afraid. About why I am afraid of yelling and loud noises.”
“Okay.” Bucky presses his nose into Y/N’s hair. “Okay, sweetheart.”
She doesn’t let go of him, and Bucky doesn’t pull away. “Bucky?”
“What?”
Carefully nestling further into his arms she asks, “Will you come lay with me? Sleep with me?”
Hope is swelling in his chest. Maybe this is a turning point for them. “Y-yeah. Yes. Of course I will.” But she doesn’t move, only keeps her face pressed into his neck. So he lets them stand there together for a while before he guides her to the bedroom.
They lie down and Bucky holds her to his chest. She cries but he doesn’t mention it, only strokes her hair and shushes her gently. It feels so familiar and good that he wants to cry. He’s missed her so much that it hurt.
And now. Hope.
“I m-miss y-you so much.” She wails digging her fingers into his shirt. No, he thinks, there’s definitely something to the senses thing.
“I’m right here, doll.”
It only makes her cry harder and the only thing he can do is hold her until she falls asleep, completely exhausted.
~
A few hours later he wakes to find Y/N tracing her fingers over his chest, floating up to his throat every so often. “Hey, baby.”
“Sorry I cried all over you.”
He tightens his arm over her back and rolls onto his side. “I don’t mind. I’m just glad you’re close to me.” Bucky tries to look into her eyes but she avoids his gaze. The grip he has on her hips starts to falter, his hand sliding away. “Is this okay? Am I-,”
Y/N grabs his hand and pushes it back over her waist. “I like it.”
A smile overcomes his face. “That’s really good to hear.”
“But I need to know. About him. About you.” She pauses. “We weren’t together for long were we?”
“Me and you?” He asks, confused. “No…no. We were together for years-,”
She shakes her head and nuzzles closer until her nose is pressed into the base of his throat. “No, I know. I know. I mean me and um,” she swallows thickly and seems not to want to say his name. “Um, him.”
“No,” he cautiously kisses her hair. “No, Y/N, only a couple of weeks.”
A moment of silence passes when she whispers, “Do that again, baby.”
She called him baby, she wants him close. His heart hammers against his ribs as he brings his mouth down on the crown of her head. “You like that, doll?” He murmurs against her hair.
“Again.”
For a third time he kisses her head. A deep sigh leaves her. “I think I love you.”
“What?” He pulls back to look her in the eyes. “What did you say?”
She struggles back into his arms and then kisses him on the collarbone. “I said I think I love you. You’re so kind and good to me. Patient and loving, even when I try to push you away. And I think you’re good and protective and so sweet and I don’t know what you did but maybe it was a mistake.” Her breaths are coming in short pants now, warm and soft against his throat. “But I think maybe we could try." Her lips brush against the rough, delicate skin of his throat with every work she speaks. "I think I should let us try because you seem willing to wait forever.”
He lifts her chin so he can see her eyes. “I don’t want you to have to wait forever.” She whispers.
“Can I kiss you?” It’s wrong. He shouldn’t. She doesn’t know who she is. But she’s come to know him and she thinks she might love him.
She only hesitates a second. “Yeah.” Y/N leans up. “Do it.”
He kisses her top lip very gently. And then her bottom lip before he kisses her full on the mouth. Guilt swells in his stomach as her tongue slips past his lips and their mouths turn desperate. He pulls back with a gasp before he loses the courage to tell her, before reason reigns him in again.
“It was him.”
“What?”
“He was hurting you. After you were together. That’s why I was so mad. You didn’t tell me. He was threatening me through you. You were protecting me and he was hurting you to keep you quiet and I wasn’t protecting you like I promised to. And I’m sorry. God, I am so sorry.” Bucky presses his forehead to hers and closes his eyes.
Y/N pulls back and stares at him. “What are you talking about?"