The Dorcas Thing
"Did we really had to invite them?"
"James’ boyfriend who is also Sirius’ brother and his friends? Yes we had to Marlene." Mary responds.
Marlene rolls her eyes and go back to apply mascara to her eyelashes.
"Oh don’t be so ecstatic! It’s getting contagious. What do you have against Regulus’ friends?"
"Nothing." Marlene snaps.
"Yeah, nothing." Mary repeats with a movement of the hand like if she wants to chase away the idea. "Is that about Dorcas?"
"Dorcas? What would it have to do with her?" Marlene says defensively.
"Oh so there is something going on, finally. Not with Dorcas?"
"Give me my bra and shut up Macdonald."
"Oh I love when you give me orders McKinnon" Mary says while letting herself fall on the bed dramatically. "Especially when you are half naked."
"I’m going to tell your girlfriend."
"You’re going to tell me what?" Says a voice at the door.
Marlene and Mary both turn their heads to the door. Lily is smiling and looking alternatively at both of them.
"Tell me what?" She repeats still smiling.
"Your girlfriend wants to fuck me." Marlene says, deadpan, returning to the contemplation of her face in the mirror.
"Is that so?" Lily asks turning her head to Mary.
"Can you blame me Lily?"
Lily turns once more her gaze to Marlene then shakes her head. "No I get it. But don’t you dare."
Mary laugh and Marlene shakes her head. Suddenly the door opens.
"Oi Evans- Fricking hell Marlene!"
"Oi Black! Don’t you know how to knock?" Lily replies.
Another head pass through the door. "Great Heavens Marls!"
Then another. "Oh Lord Marlene! Why don’t you have a top?"
"Free the boob Pete. Free the boob" Marlene says calmly. "Hello Remus."
Sirius bursts into laughter. "Oh Lord Marlene I really love you, you don’t know how much" he says still laughing.
"I always knew you were the one who founded my fan club Sirius." then turning to Peter, "Give me the top behind you, dear."
Peter’s face turns red and he executes which makes Sirius laugh even more. "Sorry to break you McKinnon but the only one with a fan club here is Moony" Sirius says, trying to remain calm again.
"I have a fan club?" Remus asks, raising an eyebrow.
"The school is just an excuse to reunite your fans in one place Remus." Mary adds. "Didn’t you know that already?"
Sirius laughs again and sits himself next to Mary on the bed.
"Making yourself comfortable Black"
"Around you? Always Macdonald."
Mary pushes his arm and Sirius laughs once more. Marlene puts the top Peter gave her on and she brushes her hair. She gives another glance to the mirror before turning fully to her friends.
“Where is your boyfriend Black?” Lily asks Sirius after a short moment.
“Right behind you Evans. Didn’t you see him?” Says Sirius, grinning.
Lily turns her head to Remus. “Wait. Are you two finally together?”
Remus’ face turns red and Sirius laughs once more. Merlin, is laughing the only thing that boy can do? Marlene smiles. These two have had a crush on each over forever. The only ones who do not acknowledge it are them, and maybe some students still lying to themselves and who think they can pull one of them.
Seeing that none of the two concerned answer, Lily specifies her question "So. James?”
“ With his boyfriend” says Sirius with a disgusted expression, having visibly not fully recover from the information.
Lily smiles, “Feeling betrayed, Black?”
“I’m never forgiving him!” Says Sirius dramatically.
“Which one?” Mary asks.
“Both” Sirius nods.
Sirius did not, in fact, take well the news of his best friend and brother being a thing. Marlene even remembers him yelling something like “My two brothers, for Merlin’s sake!” which made her laugh to tears. What made her laugh less is the full two weeks of Sirius not acknowledging either of them. He stayed with the girls during those two weeks but was far from his usual self, very quiet, very closed on himself. He barely talked to her and, one night in which she invited him to sleep with her how they sometimes do, she heard him talk in his sleep, in the middle of a nightmare, about how he was scared to loose one of them. He woke up sobbing and Marlene hugged him until he fall asleep again. It is what they do. Helping each over with the nightmares.
“Going back to the important matter,” Mary starts, turning her attention back on Marlene who knows immediately what is coming.
“What is the thing with Dorcas?”
“Which thing with Dorcas?” Sirius asks, suddenly interested, “Why don’t I know about it? Are you a traitor too?”
“There is nothing with Dorcas, Circe! And if there was, why on earth would I be a traitor, Sirius?”
“She’s my brother’s friend!”
“They are all untouchable?” Asks suddenly Remus who barely talked since he arrived.
“Why? You have a thing for one of them too?” Asks Sirius, looking at the edge of tears. “Which one is it? Not you, bloody hell!”
The whole room burst out in laugh except Sirius who looks alternatively at each one of them like if all of his friend were against him.
“You hapless thing,” says Mary, putting her arms around Sirius’ shoulders. “Let me put some makeup on your pretty face, you’ll feel better.”
Sirius roll his eyes and accepts Mary’s proposition. “I also want your green boots.”
“Whatever you want, my love.” Says Mary, smiling.
“Don’t flirt!”
“Sorry, Lily Evans love of my life, future wife of mine and mother of my children!” Responds Mary.
“Which children Mary?” Lily asks, raising an eyebrow. “With which juice?”
“Mine” says a voice at the door. They all turn to see James grinning.
“Oh, the traitor” says Sirius narrowing his eyebrows.
“What?” Asks James concerned. “What is it? What did I do? What did I do Sirius?”
“Here we go again.” Says Peter rolling his eyes.
“When did our dorm began a mill?” Asks Marlene suddenly realising the amount of people in their tiny dorm.
“You want us to go away?” Sirius asks with puppy eyes. “I’ll tell Dorcas that you are a very mean woman.”
“What?” Asks James. “Why Dorcas? There is a thing between Dorcas and you?”
“Oh my God! Stop with the Dorcas thing!” Marlene bursts.
The room fall silent for an instant then Marlene sees Mary smiles “So there is a Dorcas thing.”
“Oh Godrick!” Says Marlene putting her face in her hands.
***
Sat on one of the common room’s sofa, Marlene watch Remus and Sirius arguing a bit to close from the wide open window. Not that they are the kind to throw hands, but accidents happens so fast! With a movement of her wand, Marlene closes the window and go back to her observation of the fight. Sometimes, she catches a sentence or two. “You’re such an arsehole, Sirius!”, “Oh, go fuck yourself Lupin!”, “That’s exactly why people hate you!”. That last one leaves Sirius baffled, mouth half open. He slowly nods then turns his heels and comes to Marlene where he sits next to her without a word.
He stares at nothing for a long moment and Marlene lets him be. Then, eventually, he talks. “Do you hate me?"
“He was angry, Sirius. He didn’t really think that. What was it even about?”
Like if she didn’t even answer, Sirius continues, “Do people really hate me? I know that I can be annoying but do they hate me? Am I obnoxious?”
Marlene looks at him for a moment. There are tears in his eyes but he is not crying. Not yet. “If you cry and let your makeup run, Mary is going to kill you.” She simply says.
“She is going to hate me too.” He answers quietly.
“Hey! Sirius!” She calls, forcing him to look at her. “She won’t hate you. Nobody hates you. Okay maybe some people hate you, but that’s extremely stupid people like Snape. Remus does not hate you, okay? He was angry, that’s all. You are not obnoxious.”
That is something she discovered years ago. Sirius’ fear of hatred. That behind this extremely confident facade, there are things about which Sirius is highly afraid. That is not something he shows easily and Marlene is grateful to be one of the few who knows his weaknesses. He is also one of the few who knows hers.
After a long moment where they both stay silent, Sirius swings his head back. “Marlene?”
“Sirius?”
“I think I love him”
“Oh” Marlene says, not really knowing what to answer. By “him”, she knows Sirius mean Remus. And it is not a surprise to her that Sirius loves Remus (neither that Remus loves Sirius, event though he will more likely admit it to Lily than to her) but the tone with which Sirius confessed baffled her.
“No, actually,” Sirius continues, “I think I am in love with him.” He turns his head to her. “Isn’t that crazy? I’m in love with Remus and he hates me, or at least he thinks most people do.” Now he is extremely close to tears. “I’m so stupid Marlene. Putain!”
There it is. He starts to cry. Marlene cast the spell for people not to hear him, because Sirius is not the kind to cry in silence and she knows he do not want everyone to ear him cry. The corner they are at is discreet enough for people not to notice them except if they are really looking. She passes an arm around him and he sinks in her. “It’s okay” she chants. “You’re not stupid” she repeats. Again and again until he starts to calm down.
“I’m so sorry.” He says, straightening himself. “Mary is going to kill me.”
“It’s okay Sirius. Don’t apologise.” Then she looks at him and wipe a tear. “Come on, that’s not totally destroyed. Let’s fix that.”
With that, they go to her dorm hand in hand.
***
The more the party draws up, the more stressed Marlene began. Sirius and her haven’t left her dorm since they came to fix his makeup and no one came to disturb them, Mary and Lily probably making up somewhere.
“Oi, McKinnon!” Calls Sirius from the bottom of her bed where he was reading a muggle magazine.
“What’s going on, Black?”
“I was about to ask you that exact thing.”
“What?”
“There is something going on with you right now. You’re restless. That’s the third time you rearrange your rings. Is that the Dorcas thing?”
“Circe, Sirius! There is no Dorcas thing!”
“Come on Marls, I know you!” Sirius says pushing on his elbows. “You cannot fool me. I saw you two bickering when their Quidditch practice is next to ours”
“We do not bicker!” says Marlene, outraged.
“You do not?” says Sirius raising an eyebrow, visibly not convinced, “Obviously.”
Marlene would love to say something about how Remus and him bicker (for real) but she knows now is not the time. “It is not the good word, that’s all. I cannot stand her.”
“You cannot stand her” Sirius repeats.
“Exactly! She pisses me off.”
“She pisses you off.” Sirius repeats once more.
“Stop doing that!”
“Doing what?”
“Repeating everything I say with this ‘I do not believe you’ tone!”
“Well, I do not, in fact, believe you.” Says Sirius, calmly.
“Why?” Marlene yelps.
“Come on Marls. Why?”
“I swear you read too much romance Sirius.”
“I do not.”
“That’s the only thing you ever read!”
“So? That doesn’t mean it’s to much.”
Marlene rolls her eyes while Sirius grins. She doesn’t understand why everyone is so excited about this “Dorcas thing” that does not even exist. Dorcas infuriates Marlene because they are so similar on so many points. Dorcas compete with her since fourth year on so many domains and Marlene absolutely hates it. She hates Dorcas, that’s the thing, if there is a “Dorcas thing” it’s that. Hatred. Maybe there is a part of jealousy but she won’t admit it. For what concerns her, something such as the “Dorcas thing” does not exist.
“Let it be, Sirius. The only thing Dorcas provokes in me is urticaria.”
Sirius scoffs and rolls his eyes but seems to let it go. “We’ll see” he simply says.
“Oh shut it!” Marlene hisses, pushing him with her feet.
He laughs and catch her ankle before he pulls her. He crawls on the bed to be next to her then look at her in the eyes with a very concerned expression, “Maybe it is not Dorcas, but there is something going on, right?”
Marlene gives him a weak smile then shakes her head, “my mom” she simply says.
And she knows Sirius understands. Because he always do. Marlene’s mom is not Sirius’ one, far from it. Sirius’ mother uses words and hands, Marlene’s one only words, but that’s more than enough to make one suffer.
“The party stresses me out a bit too” she adds after a time.
“Well, we’ll simply stick together and drink ‘till we pass away. What do you think of that?”
“Brilliant.”
***
Their plan consisted in only two things: stick together and drink until they passed away. Somehow, they fucked up both. They did, in fact drink a lot. But how is Marlene totally awake with Dorcas Meadowes in some dark room she cannot quite place, that, she doesn’t know.