Gods & Monsters

I was now sitting in a small room that only contained a large round table. Meeting room, I assumed. Everyone was here. Well, everyone except Loki. They were all shooting glances back and forth between Tony and me, probably wondering what the hell happened to his hand, which he was now attending to with a first aid kit. The look on his face when we walked in had been enough to silence the entire room instantly. This was going to be a long fucking night.

"Should I even ask what's going on?" Bruce said carefully, removing his glasses to give himself something to do with his hands. 

I shook my head. I wasn't ready for all that.

Plus, it wasn't anyone else's business. 

Tony huffed, throwing the contents of the first aid kit around. "Everything's fine. Can't you tell?"

"Everything is not fine." Natasha stated dully, then looked at me. "What happened?"

"We got into a fight." I sighed, hoping that would be enough to shut everyone up. 

Wrong.

"You two were not angry with one another when I last saw you." Thor narrowed his eyes. "What happened between then and now?"

"None of your business!" I spat, angrily. I was not in the mood to deal with Thor right now. If anything, I wanted to hit him in the head repeatedly with a book.
A very large, heavy book.

"What, are you ashamed of your new boy toy?" Tony laughed. "Why don't you tell everyone here what you two have been up to for the last hour."

Everyone's eyes were on me now. Great, thanks Tony. Fucking prick. 

"What is he talking about?" Clint was the first to ask. He looked at Tony when I wouldn't answer. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just that she 'fell' into Loki's cage." Tony met my glare. "and on his cock."

Most of their mouths dropped open, some gasped, and for whatever reason Natasha was half smiling at me. I never could read what that girl was thinking. Tony had told everyone Loki and I had sex. As if I needed anymore judgement. I really didn't care what any of them thought, I just didn't feel like listening to a bunch of people who had no idea what they were talking about, or shall I say who, giving me a lecture. 

"Wait." Steve began, looking like he'd been slapped. "You and Loki, you two...you-"

"Yes, we had sex. Now will everyone fuck the hell off now and leave me the hell alone. I'd like to get his ass out of that cage since he doesn't even deserve nor need to be in there!" I shout, ready to claw someone's eyes out if I had too. 

 "Holy shit!"

"Are you sure he didn't manipulate you?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Norns...."

"How was it?" Everyone glared at Natasha. "Oh come on. I'm curious; he's hot. Can't blame the girl." she smirked. 

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. As long as Natasha didn't try to make a move on him, I could deal. 
But, I was pretty sure she and Clint had a thing.

"Ew." Clint grimaced. "What the hell, Tasha?"

"What? I'm not blind." she shrugged. "He may be a psycho, but I still have eyes."

"He's not a psycho, number one. Number two, I'm not answering that in front of everyone." My sex life was NOT going to be the talk of the night. 

"What's wrong? Did Loki not satisfy you?" Tony snorted, clearly thinking I didn't want to talk about it because it had been 'bad sex.' "It's okay. I'm sure he had some performance issues. It's not uncommon."

Wow. Cheap move, Tony. 

I was not going to just sit here and let Tony shit talk Loki.
'Fine. Be that way.'
"Actually, it was the best sex I've ever had." I smiled. "I also came harder than I ever had in my entire life; while he was fucking me against the glass wall.

Is that what you wanted to hear Tony?" That may have been a dick move on my part. I didn't really care.

"I need a drink." Tony stood up and stormed out of the room.

He did ask for it.

"That was...descriptive." Steve choked.

Natasha snorted out a laugh. I was surprised the assassin had emotions at all. Maybe we could be friends?

"I can't believe you and my brother had...relations!" Thor was appalled. 

Relations...really Thor. "Yes, we had relations." I stated dramatically.  

"Loki is very manipulative. What did he promise you?"

I was ready to punch him. "Nothing! Also, if you want to get technical I seduced him! So fuck off already."

I heard Tony slam down his glass. Of course he had to walk back into the room at that exact moment. 

"Can we please move on?"

"I just want to know what made you think that was a good idea." Steve asked again since I'd ignored his question the first time.

"I want to know why you think it's any of your business?"

I was so over this interrogation. The moment this meeting was done, I was going to shower, sleep, and then go straight back to Loki. I had a feeling Tony wasn't going to be in a big hurry to let him out.

It was personal now.

After the initial shock wore off and everyone stopped questioning me, I explained with as little detail as possible about what had happened to Loki. If he wanted to tell them that was his choice. I honestly didn't feel comfortable with it and only told them what I absolutely had to in order to get him out of that cell. Every time they would pry or ask for specific details trying to manipulate me into revealing more I kindly told them to fuck off. In the end it seemed to be enough. At least for most of them. Thor and Tony thought it would be best to keep Loki in the cell for a few more days before they officially decided and no matter how many of us thought it was screwed up, Tony was the one with the password and access. So low and behold Loki wasn't getting out. I was enraged, but instead of going off I just left the room, eventually finding the room Tony had put me in a couple hours before and showered. I needed to sleep. Everything would make more sense once I had slept.

When I woke up I was in a panic and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I glanced at the clock. 3am. I'd been asleep for a few hours at least. I laid in bed for a few more minutes before I finally decided to get up. I don't know why I had this urge to go see Loki, but I did. The tower was quiet as I crept through it. Everyone must have been asleep or in another area of the tower completely. I finally made it back to the double doors I knew would lead me to him. I paused at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing. Did he even want me back around? I decided I would soon find out. 

Loki was asleep, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. He was groaning and convulsing on the bed, pouring with sweat. He was having a nightmare. Loki's groans got louder and I knew it wouldn't be long before he started to scream. I didn't think about the fact that he could accidentally kill me in his sleep with his super strength. All I could think about was getting to him as fast as I could and pulling him out of that horrible dream.

I ran in and grabbed his coat and hovered over him, shaking him as hard as I could. "Loki! Wake up! It's okay, you're okay!" His eyes snapped open and he snarled, grabbing me by the throat and flipping us over so that he had me pinned down on the floor. He had rolled us completely off the bed. I knew he wasn't in his right mind, perhaps even still asleep, but I couldn't help the fear I felt in that moment. 

Loki was going to kill me. He was going to kill me and not even know what he'd done until it was too late. 

I clawed at his hands as I fought for any source of air, but he was still choking the life out of me. I was almost about to pass out when he suddenly flew off of me, removing his death grip. I was coughing and gasping, clutching my throat as I rolled over onto my side. It took several minutes, but I had finally got my breathing back to normal. I was lucky he hadn't snapped my neck.

I hadn't heard a peep out of Loki the entire time I had been lying there trying to breathe. When I finally managed to roll over and spot him, he was curled in the corner violently shaking all over. He met my gaze and he had this mortified look on his face. Loki woke up strangling me. I realized waking him up from his current nightmare only landed him in a new one. 

I was bad for not thinking things through. 

"I'm okay." I assure him even though my throat was on fire. I was also positive I was going to have another beautiful bruise tomorrow I'd have to explain to Tony. Thank god for Jarvis or no one in this tower would believe Loki hadn't meant to hurt me. "Loki?"

"Why are you so stupid! Why would you do that?" he whimpered. "I could have killed you. I almost killed you!"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. You were having a nightmare. I just wanted to help."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you can't help me!" He stood and faced the glass. I could still see his body shaking. "Get out! JUST GET OUT!"

"You know I can't." I said gently, trying to calm him.
It was true. Until someone found me, I was stuck. 

It sounded like Loki choked out a sob, but I couldn't tell since he had his face buried against the glass. I stood up and approached him, but I was weary about what to do. Should I try to hug him or not? Loki was hit or miss when it came to being touched and I wasn't sure if this was the right moment. I didn't want to set him off again or make the situation any worse. So I just stood there beside him until he finally stopped shaking and his breathing returned back to normal. He was calmer, but I still wasn't sure how bad the situation was right now. I hadn't meant to cause him anymore pain. I realized that's all I was to him so far. Nothing but pain.

"I'm sorry. I won't come back again." I felt my heart break. I hadn't realized just how attached I'd become to Loki until I told him I was going to leave him alone. The thought of never seeing him again, hurt. It hurt worse than it should have at this stage. I'd known him for less than 24 hours and I felt like I was losing the love of my life. Perhaps it was better this way for the both of us. I wouldn't hurt him and he couldn't hurt me. I turned to walk away even though I had no where to go when Loki grabbed my arm, pulling me into his hold so suddenly it made my head spin.

"No! Please, don't leave me." he croaked, gripping me for dear life. 

I managed to get my arms out of his grasp enough to hold him back. I was also the one shaking now. Why didn't he want me to go? He had been dead set on wanting me gone.

I was so confused. 

It was scary. Not knowing what he wanted, or needed. Loki was complex.
He wasn't the type to trust or to fall in love. If anything he'd go through hell or high water just to protect himself from getting hurt any worse than he already had. 

"I won't leave you, Loki. I only thought that's what you wanted." I say truthfully.

I didn't want to leave him. 

"I'm a complicated creature." he whispered, stroking my hair. 

Loki lifted me up and carried me to the bed, laying me down and curled beside me.
I took his hands. I couldn't read his facial expression. It was a mix of so many different emotions it would be impossible to pinpoint the exact one.

"What are you thinking?" I wanted to know. I needed to know. 

Loki let out a heavy sigh and looked at me seriously. "That no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to resist I can't.

...I need you."