Draumr

The day passed with the speed of a sloth running a marathon. JARVIS was still reluctant, only speaking when Tony directly spoke to him. He hadn’t come out of his lab even when Rogers had knocked on the door, demanding he open it. Natasha had mumbled something about childishness before the small group disappeared again. Only Bruce stayed behind a bit longer, no doubt hoping that maybe if it was just him, Tony would open the door. The inventor had considered it, but had decided he wanted to be alone in the end. Bruce, bless him, had taken the hint and left without a word.

Hours passed by while he sat there, doing nothing. He didn’t even have the energy to look up funny cat videos on youtube. Just sat there in his chair, looking down at the scars decorating his wrists. They didn’t make any sense. None of this made sense, he told himself. Something must have happened to him, that much he was sure of. And it must have happened the night he spent on the roof. But what? Why couldn’t he remember?

There were times he tried to reach inside himself, trying to come up with something. The genius could feel the buzz of energy humming under his skin, but could never truly reach it. He knew the information he needed was inside of him, so close with only a few exons separating him from his answers. Tony hadn’t been up against a tease like this since the woman in the sexy bunny costume five years ago.

So he sat there, looking between the scars that weren’t supposed to be his, and the clock where the minutes ticked by slowly. How much sleep had he gotten lately? It felt like a lot, yet he was exhausted.

“Sir, Ms. Potts is on her way down” Tony lit up a bit, both at the sound of JARVIS’ voice and the prospect of Pepper returning.

“Thanks, J”

JARVIS didn’t reply. How had he managed to create an AI that could be mad at him?

Minutes later, there was a small beep from the door, and it slid open with a hiss. Pepper looked about as exhausted as he felt, which was both terrifying and relieving at the same time. He stretched out his arms, much like a toddler wanting to be picked up, and she approached him.

“Hey,” He said, hugging her tightly. “How was work?”

“Exhausting. How was relaxing?”

“Exhausting” He could feel her soft cheek pull into a frown, before she pushed away slightly. She had the look on her face. The one that said: “What have you done now?” or “Who do I throw my shoe at?” depending on the situation.

“What happened?”

Tony shrugged, trying to brush the whole thing off. Which was, of course, impossible.

“Tony…” Damn her for using that voice.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Cap disagreed with my methods, I disagreed with Cap’s. We fought, he brought up my dad, I left” He bit his lip, avoiding the part of the story where he had manually overridden JARVIS’ codes and gotten pissed on the roof… again. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, more like a compulsion, actually. Now though, when he was sitting before his beautiful girlfriend, he was feeling even more regret coil up inside him. She would probably hate him if he didn’t say anything, but she would also hate him if she found out.

God, why does he always fuck up so much?

A warm hand on his cheek was enough to bring him out of his thoughts.

“I don’t get why you invite him to live in your home when you hate him so much” Pepper mumbled, giving him a serious look. Tony straightened, shaking his head.

“I don’t hate him. He just pisses me off sometimes” He stuttered, his words jumbling. Pepper’s face morphed to that of confusion.

“I never implied that you did”

He blinked once, twice, feeling a strange lump take up residence in his throat. Was she messing with him?

“Yes, you did. You said it just now. You asked why I let him live here if I hated him”

Pepper shook her head, brows creased. “No, I asked what he said”

Tony stared, mouth opening and closing several times when no words came. After some time with him unable to say a damn thing, Pepper crouched down until she was looking directly at him.

“Tony… are you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah…” His voice was faint. “Yeah, I’m fine… Just a bit tired still”

As if on cue, his stomach gave a loud growl. Tony suddenly remembered that he hadn’t eaten anything since the apple two or three days ago. The sudden emptiness in his stomach was enough to make him bend over in the small jab of pain.

“How long since you last ate?” Pepper asked. Tony shrugged.

“Depends on what day it is. I ate an apple… some time ago. Don’t remember” Pepper sighed, draping an arm around him and practically pushing him out of the chair.

“Come on…” She mumbled, pulling him along towards the door. He followed willingly, the hunger winning over the fear of facing his teammates after his cock-up earlier. “Let’s get something to eat”

Tony smiled, squeezing Pepper’s hand in reassurance.

The way up felt longer than usual. Probably because he couldn’t stop focusing on the damned hunger gnawing on the inside of his stomach. His legs were actually shaking at this point, and he realized he hadn’t had anything to drink aside from a bottle of pain-treatment (which had been flushed down the drain after Nat got her hands on him).

When the elevator finally stopped, he quickly took notice of the lack of Avengers in the common room. The combined kitchen and living room area was completely abandoned. Maybe he did have some luck in his life.

“Jarvis, where are the other Avengers?” He asked, looking around the room.

“Captain Rogers, Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Barton were called in by Director Fury. Doctor Banner left the premises ten minutes ago” The AI dutifully replied. Bruce Banner leaving? That sounded very uncharacteristic of him. The good doctor had been locked inside Tony’s tower since the end of the chitauri invasion, and always slithered away from the prospect of going out into the public no matter how much Tony had pestered him.

“Why wasn’t I informed?”

“They did not deem it necessary to inform you, sir” Clearly, JARVIS was still mad. He’d be eighty by the time the AI would properly forgive him. Thankfully, Pepper didn’t seem to think anything was of. She dumped him in the empty couch, and set direct course for the fridge in the connected kitchen.

“Anything in particular you want?” She asked, head inside the fridge, searching.

“Something edible would be nice”

“Oh haha”

After some shuffling and low mumbles, she emerged with a bowl of chicken-pasta salad and two plates with cutlery. Tony felt his mouth water at the sight of food. His stomach did another eager turn, making him wince.

They ate in silence, mainly because Tony was too busy actually eating for once, rather than talking his tongue into a knot. Pepper didn’t seem to have any objections. It wasn’t until Tony had finished his second portion of salad, and was starting to feel satisfied, that Pepper spoke.

“The board is expecting you to make a public appearance soon” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Why?” He asked. Pepper blinked, surprised by his simple answer.

“Why? You crashed a car and had me tell the public a vague story about a self-driving prototype gone wrong. The board wants to know what’s going on. People are complaining about the safety of SI technology. Do you have any idea how that will affect our stocks?”

“I thought all damage was payed for in full” Tony argued, taking another bite of his salad.

“That’s not the point, Tony. The point is that the public are questioning how reliable our technology really is. Someone could have gotten hurt, and you won’t even tell me what’s going on anymore. You’re funding the Avengers initiative almost all by yourself. If Stark Industries takes another hit like last time-”

“What do you mean last time?” Tony cut her off.

“You know very well what I mean. When you decided to cut us out of the weapon industry. And before you say it, no, I am not saying that was a bad choice. I’m just saying it affected our stocks, Tony. Believe it or not, what you do in your personal life affects how the company is viewed. If you go off making reckless decisions, and you can’t even come with an actual explanation to me, then people will see that as SI being unreliable. We will starts losing customers, and that is something we cannot afford, not after last time”

“We built the company up again” Was Tony’s best line of defence. She had a point, he thought, but couldn’t really bring himself to care. All his life, he’d had to act posh and nice for the cameras so the company and the damned board could get what they wanted from him, and he hated it. Life had been a lot simpler as the youngest genius in MIT.

“After two years, yes. Come on, Tony. Make a public appearance, reassure the people that what happened isn’t going to repeat itself”

“I thought you’d already done that” Tony argued. Pepper rolled her eyes at him, setting her fork down and sighed.

“They don’t want to see me, Tony. They want to see you, their hero, take responsibility for your actions” Responsible wasn’t really on his list of pros.  After years of working together, Pepper should know this much. Then again, after years of working with her, he should know Pepper isn’t one to give up.

“I flew a missile into an alien wormhole for them, the least they can do is leave me alone when I make a small screw-up” he grumbled angrily, crossing his arms before realizing what he’d just said. Pepper blinked at him, surprised by his words. It wasn’t often Tony talked about what happened that day, in fact he avoided it more than he would the plague. But this was Pepper, and he trusted Pepper with everything.

Her face softened, and she scooted closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his back. Tony leaned into the touch, the warmth. Those soft hands were rubbing soothing circles into his muscles, releasing tension Tony hadn’t even realized was there previously.

“I know, baby, I know…” She hesitated for a moment, the hands stopping ever so briefly before continuing. “Will you at least tell me what happened?”

God, he wanted to. Wanted to spill everything and just get it off his chest. But he wouldn’t- couldn’t do that to her. When silence stretched on, understanding settled over Pepper’s face and she nodded shortly, realizing it was a lost battle. Instead, she stood from the couch and wandered back to the kitchen.

“Want some dessert?” She asked, looking over her shoulder. Tony nodded eagerly, glad for the change of subject. Two seconds later, Pepper emerged from the kitchen with two small cups of store-bought pudding. It tasted mostly sugar, with a little hint of chocolate in the aftertaste. Still, the moment was as close to perfect as he could get. Neither of them were talking, instead just basking in each other’s company. It was nice, really nice, to just lean on her shoulder, soaking up her heat.

They finished their puddings, and Tony somehow ended up resting his head on her lap. Her smooth fingers traced a soft pattern through his hair, slowly lulling him into sleep. He yawned, trying to fight off gravity pulling at his eyelids. The inventor knew he should probably tell her he didn’t want to sleep, no matter his exhaustion, he couldn’t. He would have nightmares again, dreams that felt so familiar, yet he could never remember them when he woke up. Yet he didn’t want the moment to end, didn’t want Pepper’s warm hands to stop. He should probably pull away… just give it one more minute…

There was screaming, hoarse and pained. Tony no longer knew if it was his own screams, nor did he care. Sharp claws were digging into his flesh, ripping at his clothes and leaving deep streaks of red in his skin. This must be what it feels like to get ripped apart by a flock of lions; agonizingly slow, yet too fast to keep track of the clusterfuck around him. Every now and then he managed to gather his focus enough to see the flash of a cat-like green eye, or a purple rim around a strange armour, lighting up rotten-looking skin. Skeletal features, black teeth dripping with dark drool and screeches so inhuman it made his body shiver. His arms were flailing wildly around him in a desperate attempt to keep the claws away. Blood was soaking through his clothing, pooling around him. His body was still fighting while his mind was stuck in a constant look of “I’m dying. Please god, I’m dying”

Then it was over. He didn’t know what exactly happened. One moment they were clawing at him, killing him with the same hunger you’d find in a pack of wolves, the next they were scattering, backing away rapidly. Relief flooded him, and for a moment he knew nothing else. He could breathe, at least better now than while they were ripping him apart like an all you can take buffet. His limbs felt like led, he couldn’t lift them even if he wanted to.

Then it became apparent why they stopped. Heavy footsteps approached from his left, but Tony didn’t have the strength to turn his head right now. He was staring up at the unfamiliar stars, listening intently as the footsteps got louder, louder still, until they stopped and Tony could see a dark figure hovering over him, blocking out the stars. His breath, or what was left of it anyway, caught in his throat as something inside him screamed with even more fear than when the other monsters were attacking him. The figure just stood there, staring down at him with eyes Tony could feel burn into his soul. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Tony was almost tempted to play dead, a last-ditch effort to get away alive. Yet the way his chest heaving, breath rattling in his lungs, it was obvious he was alive. Like a fish out of water, but alive nonetheless. Though for how long, he really couldn’t tell.

“What is this?” Tony blinked, trying to register where the voice came from. The constant echo from where they were cast it around a loop, and it took him a few seconds to realize the words came from the creature above him. It could talk?

“Asgardian?” It growled again, leaning further over Tony, so close he could smell the rotting flesh from its breath. Tony shuddered, wanting to crawl away but too afraid to move. He felt like a deer caught in the headlight, just waiting for the inevitable. Though he had no clue what it was talking about, it was clearly displeased with him in some way. Tony wanted to close his eyes, but the fear refused him such pleasures.

Something lumpy and fuck that’s cold! Wrapped around his throat. Some distant part of his mind pointed out that this was becoming a regular thing in his life, but he didn’t have much time to feed that thought, because he was being lifted off the ground and what limited amount of air he’d managed to push into his lungs was suddenly gone. Whatever it was, it pulled him closer to sneer at his face, and the stench got so bad Tony was sure he would throw up in its face. Somehow he didn’t, most likely due to the hand around his throat squeezing until he felt dizzy. The thing leaned closer; what was it gonna do, kiss him?

It sniffed him, like an animal, dragging its face against his cheek. Any warmth Tony might have had left was instantly poured out of him. The thing was as cold as death, like someone had just rubbed his face against a gravestone. He froze, legs ceasing their kicking as every muscle went rigid.

Before he knew what had happened, it dropped him on the ground with a hard oomph. Pain shot up his back from where he’d had the unfortunate landing on top of a small bulge in the ground, but Tony couldn’t bring himself to cry out or even flinch. He just stared up at the creature, impossibly tall and cloaked in dark cloth of some kind.

“It has been many a century since we’ve come in contact with Asgardians” It mumbled, more to itself than the human, it seemed. Slowly, the creature leaned closer to him. Tony was confused because it seemed to be staring at him, studying him, but it’s eyes were covered in some kind of fabric.

A grin stretched its face, showing off black teeth that sent shivers rippling through the man’s spine.

“How very curious…” It mumbled again, looking away from Tony to survey the surrounding area for something Tony didn’t know of. Had he known anything about the thing, he would have said it looked almost thoughtful, not the confused kind of thoughtful. More as it’d just won a prize and was wondering how valuable it would be. Tony didn’t even want to think about what the creature was contemplating. He just wanted to go home, back to earth, the avengers, Pepper….

“Take it with us, put it in the dungeons. I shall exchange words with our master” before Tony had any time to react, they were back. Claws dug into his arms and legs, squeezing until he could hear bone snap. He was screaming, or at least he thought he was. It was difficult to hear anything over the rushing of blood in his ears, though he would guess he was pleading for help, for mercy. He felt rather than saw them carry him away, each bumpy step another jab of agony through his body.

It was a relief when darkness overtook him.

Tony awoke with a jerk, eyes snapping open, wide with panic. His surroundings barely registered as his penthouse living room, cast in shadows and the pale light of the moon. A thick layer of cold sweat coated him, making his clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin. He could still feel the phantom pain in his body where claws had dug into flesh. The inventor looked around, eyes searching like mad for the one thing missing. Pepper… where was Pepper?

“Pep…” He tried, his voice hoarse from screaming. Outside, a cloud passed over the moon, coating the room in further darkness. Tony stumbled off the couch, almost tripping over his own legs a few times before he managed to grab hold of the counter near the kitchen.

“Pep-er” His tongue felt thick in his mouth, stretched and out of place. “Pepper!” He managed, a little louder this time. Why wouldn’t his damn legs work? Every time he took a step, pain would shoot through his body. Tears stung against his eyes, but he refused to let them fall even now. He had to find Pepper, that was first priority.

“Pepper!” What if something had happened to her? What if they had gotten her? Oh god, anything but that, please! “Pepper!”

“Tony…?” There was a small click from the light switch. Tony blinked at the sudden brightness stinging his eyes. Relief flooded Tony, and he was stumbling forward before he even knew it. Pepper was standing at the corridor, looking at him confused. When she saw how unsure his steps were, she hurried forward, just in time to stop him from falling flat on the floor in front of her. The moment their skin touched, Tony felt warmth fill him up again. He sighed in relief, not noticing the tears streaming down his face.

“Jesus…” Pepper muttered, taking Tony’s face in her hands and pushing him away slightly to get a better look at him. Tony made a frustrated noise, wanting to feel more of the comforting warmth. Anything but the constant cold of space, of claws digging into his skin…

“What happened?” She asked, voice so soft Tony could melt into the vowels. He shook his head, not meeting her eyes as he did. All he wanted was to get close.

“Tony, look at me. Look at me, sweetie” With a small shake of her hands, Tony managed to muster up enough focus to look at her face. His eyes were bloodshot-red, meeting Pepper’s worried blues for a split second before anchoring on her nose. She bit her lips slightly, like she always did when she was unsure of how to handle a situation.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here. It’s okay” She said, one of her hands stroking Tony’s cheek reassuringly. Tony allowed his arms to drape around her, locking in place as though he was afraid that she would disappear again.

“Pepper” He mumbled, unable to muster any other words for now as he pushed closer, resting his face in the crook of her neck. Pepper continued to coo reassurances at him, and he soaked up every word of comfort like a sponge. After some time, he calmed down enough for his breath to stop shaking.

“Where were you…?” He managed, though his voice was still hoarse, barely above a whisper. He felt Pepper move, but refused to let go of her yet.

“I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. You fell asleep, I thought I’d let you get some extra rest before we moved to the bed” She explained, brushing a hand through his hair. “What happened?”

Tony trembled slightly, the memory of pain so clear in his mind he had trouble speaking. He could still smell the rotting flesh, the sweat coating his skin felt like the blood from his dream and dread pooled in his gut. Again and again he tried to remind himself that it was just a dream. Nothing but a dream; not real.

“I had… a nightmare” He said hesitantly. Pepper cooed him, moving away slightly to meet his eyes again.

“What about?”

Tony opened his mouth to reply, words already at the tip of his tongue. He blinked once, twice, confused.

“I… I don’t remember”