Chapter 4
After his talk with Eric, Charles talks with Hank then considers at length. The young mutants have been poorly treated and it is unsurprising that they show such a lack of trust. Had Floyd (Chief) been less efficient at maintaining a blanket around the five, and had the sisters not been aggressive to their peer, Charles would likely have allowed them a freer range of the school's grounds. As it was, they were confined, and that would hardly show them that they were not, as Chief claimed to be, 'prisoners'.
Charles sighs and massages his temples wearily. He knows the decision is the correct one but he has concerns about the wellbeing of the girl the others called Dirty Blood. He feels the need to ensure her safety but with the blanket surrounding her and the others Charles is honestly skeptical of his capability to do so. He cannot tell what she or the others are thinking or feeling.
So stripped of the abilities Charles has come to rely on he feels quite frail and uncertain. It has become so natural for him to be near all-knowing here in his school and his mutation has become not just a crutch but a lifeline. Quietly, to himself, Charles admits that this lack feels frightening, much in the way the loss of his legs' use had once been. Charles knows it is only five mutants he is powerless around, but the sensation has bite to it, and Charles cannot shake how uneasy it makes him.
It is not just a case of feeling blind in his own home. Charles' senses are raw: on a constant level of high alert. He worries these new young mutants may be of harm to others (or indeed themselves) and he feels much less equipped than usual to help.
There is also the matter of Eric of course.
Charles is still (and perhaps may always be) uncertain of the sensibility of having Eric here. Or having Eric close. Of having Eric at all.
But oh, how Charles craves the mutant.
Poor Eric has been terribly understanding of Charles' feelings, although an unkind part of Charles supposes Eric is on his best behaviour here for a reason. It's not as if Eric hasn't ever done anything distasteful that has not left the mutant careful around Charles for fear of causing further friction.
They are so different. Charles is so often known for being forgiven; he is teased and even chided for it. Even Eric has on numerous occasions scolded Eric for being too forgiving.
And yet Charles has misgivings about forgiveness when it comes to Eric. Charles has reached out to Eric again and again, it is true, and Eric has thought Charles a number of things for his 'forgiveness'.
Charles is not certain this supposed forgiveness does not come with strings or indeed even full appendixes.
Love is accepting, is it not? Charles is certain he loves Eric and has always loved Eric. So many times Charles has told himself and even others that this persisting love in the face of all their differences is what proves their love to be true.
And yet, if their love is so true, why does Charles feel so personally victimised by Eric's actions and beliefs?
Charles sighs and looks across the grounds. He feels grateful Eric is up in their bedroom giving him space to think, and part of Charles feels guilty at that: Eric is trying.
Charles is uncertain he can say the same about himself.
Certainly, he has welcomed Eric into his school, his home and his bed.
Into his confidence however? Charles is not certain of that.
What makes things worse is the presence of these new young mutants.
Survivors of conversion camps. Charles is lauded for his empathy but part of him (a shameful part of him) wishes the mutant teens were not his problem. Whether that means letting them scatter or never having rescued them in the first place, it is of little consequence to Charles compared to the sorrow he feels at letting Eric learn of them.
Of their suffering.
Eric is a grown man and a strong mutant but even he has scars that shall always remain raw and deep.
Charles knows Eric's relationship with the brutal inhumanity of war camps has not healed. So many of the mutant leader's motivations for defending his kind and fearing human integration can be followed right back to those cruelties.
It doesn't help that the Floyd boy has been chattering to Eric in Eric's mother tongue. Charles can see the impact that is having on Eric, even if Eric has not directly noticed the effect himself. Eric has been deeply reflective recently and the muted responses of the normally loudly argumentative and passionate mutant are a cause for Charles' honest concern.
Eric is also developing an emotional attachment to the Scottish teen. Of course he is. Surly and outspoken, this leader of mistreated young mutants with an attachment to Eric's first language cannot help but draw Eric's fondness.
The bullied Polish girl will not have helped matters. It will have exacerbated them for Eric in fact, Charles is certain. Double discrimination.
She refuses to talk to Hank. Seems quite fearful of everyone, truth be told.
She's pretty. From a photograph one might have expected the girl to be popular, with a friendly smile and warm touch.
She shies away from people and contact. She tugs constantly at her long sleeves and agitates at the suggestion of any contact.
The mutant does not simply seem fearful of people. Something in her eyes reminds Charles of Rouge.
Dirty blood, Charles ponders once more. There was little clear footage of what had happened to this girl at the conversion camp. Perhaps…
Perhaps there's more than just a slur there.