Chapter 7
Tony glared up into Steve's eyes, almost daring him to deny it.
It seemed pretty far fetched, and when he'd first formulated the idea he'd thought there was no way it was possible.
But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense; Captain America, whom Tony had known to be a man named Steve Rogers, had disappeared during the war. Fallen into the ocean, they'd said. Lost at sea, his body never to be found.
Steve Rogers, who had been a mild-mannered boy from an American city, with his bleach blond hair and piercing blue eyes.
Captain America, whom his dad had spent the rest of his life looking for, was standing in his dorm.
Had touched him.
Had kissed him.
While the logical part of his brain told Tony these things were certainly of his choice, and absolutely his fault, the emotional part was furious.
And here he stood, looking almost… frightened.
The two stood there a moment, silence passing over them.
Tony could feel his pulse thudding erratically in his neck. Captain America, his college roommate.
Steve blinked slowly, and nerves apparent on his face.
Then, something in his posture changed.
His face turned hard, he stood a little straighter(if that was possible).
“Okay.” He said quietly.
For Tony, this impassive response was the straw that broke the camel's back. “‘Okay'? ‘Okay’?! That's all you have to say?”
Steve licked his lips. “Tony-”
“No! No you don't just get to-” He stopped himself, catching his breath, not taking his eyes off of the older student's. “How fucking dare you?”
“Listen-”
“No.” Tony shook his head, drawing back. “No I'm done with listening to you.” A flood of emotions - anger, jealousy, confusion, hurt - crashed over the young raven.
Unable to trust his voice further, he pushed past Steve and went for the door. ‘Okay’. The absolute nerve.
“Tony wait!” He called, and Tony heard the footsteps coming after him quickened his step.
The Captain - Captain fucking America - being more athletic than him, caught up before he'd reached the end of the hall.
A strong hand landed on Tony's shoulder and the raven whirled around. “Don't touch me.” He growled, and the hand immediately disappeared.
In the same instant, Tony was off again.
“Tony, stop, you have to listen to me.”
Tony turned to face him again. “Bullshit I have to listen to you. What, just because you're Captain America everyone has to listen to what you say?”
“Please, keep your voice down.” The blond implored.
Tony sneered. “What, you're afraid of everyone knowing your little secret? Open book my ass!”
“Tony please-”
“Oh, fuck you, Rogers!” And he stormed off again.
He listened for the following footsteps, but heard none.
Good.
He stormed through the building, out the front doors into the fading sunlight.
He started off down the sidewalk, no destination in mind and not even sure where he was going just knowing he needed to be away.
Away from the tender moments, away from the repulsive vulnerability, away from Steve Goddamn Rogers.
How had he not figured it out sooner? The night he'd talked about his father - and he damned himself for just how honest he had been - and the way Steve looked so sad when he spat on the name of Captain America.
Fucking idiot.
His first glance at this odd young man should have given it away. The first time they'd spoken in depth - that same night - when he'd talked about his military past, his partner that he'd lost - how could Tony have been so stupid?
He wasn't sure how long he walked, or how far he'd actually made it when he became aware of the last traces of sunlight disappearing.
He stopped, hoping to get his bearings but found his surroundings completely unfamiliar.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up maps, to find he was in the heart of Queens - not exactly a great neighborhood to be wandering around in at night.
He dropped a pin on the campus, and started back that way, still seething.
Maybe he could request a room change. His company had certainly made generous enough donations to the school that he ought to have some sway.
But he liked his room; he liked that two out of three of his roommates seemed totally unfazed by his money or his reputation.
He liked that Janet was always so happy, because someone that upbeat has a great effect on general morale.
He liked Steve. Right now he felt almost like he hated him, but this was the greatest indicator of all that he really, really liked him.
Oh God.
And now, he had made a jerk out of himself to Steve.
Now that he'd dumped some exercise endorphins, his emotions calmed down a bit and his logical side cropped up.
Steve couldn't have known of Tony's animosity for Captain America when they'd met, and even when they'd talked about it Tony had tried to tone down just how much misplaced resentment he had for him.
For Steve. Fuck.
He ran a hand through his hair, hesitating on a corner where a small smoke shop stood.
A thought crossed his mind that hadn't in a long time, not since he was an edgy teenager.
He went in.
He emerged, packing the little square box against his palm and walking briskly in the direction of the school.
The raven removed the plastic packaging, tore out the freshness seal, and flipped a lucky before pulling a slender, cancerous cylinder out of the pack.
He lit the cigarette with a complimentary matchbook from the smoke shop, and felt it burn his lungs as he took the first drag.
A cough escaped, and he felt his throat getting dry.
Just as bad as he had remembered.
By the time he reached the dorm building, his phone informed him it was nearly nine.
He crept quietly into the dark dorm room to the sound of layered snoring, laughing to himself at the early sleeping habits of his roommates.
His eyes landed on the bottom bunk of his and Steve’s bed, where he saw an odd-shaped mass.
Upon closer inspection, he found that Steve had fallen asleep sitting upright, a book in his hand and his head back.
It was… Adorable.
Tony shook off this thought, remembering how angry he’d been only hours ago.
He was exceptionally tired, not having slept well or much at all the night before, so Tony decided to try and retire early as well.
Trying his best not to jostle the bed, he climbed up onto the top bunk.
He must not have been careful enough though, because a groggy voice from beneath inquired, “Tony?”
The raven sighed. “Yeah?”
A beat passed.
“I’m sorry.”
Tony felt all the anger - the hurt, confusion, offense, jealousy - dissipate with those two words like mist under the California sun.
Despite himself, he felt his eyes begin to burn. “I know.” He managed resignedly. “And… It’s not your fault. I’m… I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you - it’s just skeletons.”
Steve let out a weary laugh. “Yeah… Skeletons.”
A beat of silence passed between them once more, and Tony thought the exchange might be over, until Steve spoke up again.
“So… You’re not still mad?”
Tony pressed his lips together, considering this. He was still mad, but… “Not at you.” He confirmed.
He heard Steve’s sigh of relief, and Tony felt a mischievous flutter in his stomach. He was about to say something cheeky about the value Steve placed on their relationship, when the other man spoke up again.
“Good, but I still have to talk to you about something.” His voice sounded apprehensive and seriously exhausted. Tony heard him take a deep breath. “I don’t just… Not inform folks because I don’t think they ought to know, it’s really an issue in contract; I’m essentially in witness protection. The government owns Captain America. As a trademark, a mascot for the american dream.”
There was no bitterness or resentment in his voice, just a hollow sort of sadness, and that ever-present exhaustion.
A realization dawned on Tony, and he sat up straight. “So… What you’re saying is…”
“If the United States government were to find out you knew who I was… I don’t know what would happen.”
“That’s why you were shushing me in the hallway.” Tony groaned and laid back down flat.
Steve was silent.
Tony wondered if he was contemplating what to do. Would Steve turn him in?
If he did, what would that mean? Tony was way too high profile to disappear. On the other hand, would Steve disappear?
“So… What now?” Tony asked uncertainly.
More silence.
After a few moments, Tony frowned to himself. “Steve?”
A soft snore answered him.
Tony couldn't help the smile that brought warmth to his cheeks in the gloom, and he dozed off to the lullaby of heavy breathing.
When he blinked groggily awake, Tony found there was light filtering through the window.
That was odd; he never slept late enough for the sun to rise.
He glanced at the wall clock and saw it was before seven.
He didn't have class until nine.
He stretched, feeling better rested than he had in a long time.
He could hear quiet voices from the kitchen, and lazily climbed down and meandered in their direction.
He spotted Natasha and Janet, each holding a steaming mug, conversing in undertones.
“And what top secret business are my favorite ladies attending to this morning?” He asked, casually leaning on the opposite side of the divider as both girls turned to face him.
“We were just talking about the party at the Delta Phi house tomorrow night. I'm trying to convince Natasha to come, but she wants to stay here and do homework.” Janet exposited.
“And we were keeping our voices down so as not to wake you. A skill you and Roger's alike should look into.” Natasha pulled her phone out and began scrolling through it. “And as I was explaining, sororities are a waste of time and school resources. Parties are a distraction that dedicated students can recognize as time-wasting and irresponsible.”
Tony pursed his lips. “Don't be such a party pooper, Nat. Sororities give girls a sense of belonging, and parties give people a chance to blow off steam and unwind every so often, give dedicatedstudents a chance to cool off from their responsibilities.”
Natasha looked up from her phone, an unreadable but strangely intense gaze locking on Tony's eyes, effectively freezing him in place.
She seemed to be searching his eyes, her gaze piercing and the billionaire felt the incessant urge to look away.
He straightened himself, and she raised an eyebrow at him.
“An interesting perspective.” She blinked, her face returning to neutral and her eyes diverting back to her cell phone.
A few moments silence indicated she had nothing further to add, and Tony turned to Janet, not willing to miss a beat. “What time is that party tonight?”
“Tomorrow night.” Janet corrected. “Partying on a Thursday Tony? That’s irresponsible.”
He couldn’t help but grin, ecstatic she’d simply returned his vibe. He tapped his wrist with an inquisitive look on his face.
“It starts at eight, at the Delta Phi house on the south end of campus. And you’re totally invited! I can’t believe Steve didn’t tell you…” A thought seemed to cross her mind, and she bit down on her lip. “Not that it’s - business. My business.” She raised two hands in a hands-off gesture.
She began to study her coffee cup.
Tony frowned, his interest piqued at her withdrawal. “What isn’t?”
She looked up at him, “Huh?” She asked innocently.
“What isn’t your business? Steve?” He pushed.
Janet shrugged. “Absolutely. You, Steve, Natasha, everybody. Everybody has their own business.” She let out a laugh that almost sounded nervous.
Tony leaned his elbows on the counter, crossing his wrists and resting his chin on his fist. “I would love to hear your thoughts on some of those subjects. Tell me honestly, Janet van Dyne, what do you think of Tony Stark?” He flashed her his best, dazzling smile.
She did a mock wince. “Yikes, put that thing away before you blind someone.” She joked.
He turned his face a bit more sincere. In for the kill. “Really though, if you’ve got thoughts I’d love to hear them.”
Janet chewed her lip. “Well, I hate to say I always looked up to you, because I know now not to feed your ego. But truthfully, I’ve always thought you were a genius, and that you truly did things you believed in. Now, regardless of the moral alignment - all of that is relative, right? - I would argue that that in itself is enough to indicate a strong heart.” She screwed up her nose. “But I also know you’re a punk.” She smirked, before downing the rest of her coffee and moving towards the sink.
Tony glanced down at the floor, not expecting that level of a sincere answer and was grateful that she turned her back to rinse her coffee cup.
When he was fairly certain any color had gone from his cheeks, he looked back up to see Natasha studying him.
When he met her gaze, she raised an eyebrow.
He could almost see the gears turning on her head, and raised an eyebrow in return.
To his surprise - though he thought he may have imagined it - he saw the corner of her mouth twitch upward.
“An interesting perspective indeed.” She muttered, turning her gaze back to her phone.
Tony was cut off from questioning this peculiar interaction by Janet returning her attention to him.
“Now while I would love to continue telling you exactly how I feel, I do have classes to go to.” She gave him a knowing smile, as she made her way around the counter. “See you later, Punkinator!” She punched him playfully on the arm as she passed, scooped up her backpack from her bed and was gone.
Tony turned back to the kitchen, and was surprised to see no sign of Natasha save for her teacup sitting in the sink.
He looked around the dorm, but saw no other trace of her.
Freaky.
As Tony returned to the bedroom, the door clicked open.
He turned in time to see Steve pull out an earbud.
The soldier looked like he'd just finished running; he was in a tank top and sweatpants, bead of sweat on his forehead.
He gave Tony an uncertain look as he unplugged his headphones from his phone, coiling them up neatly.
Tony clicked his tongue in mock disapproval, advancing casually on his roommate. “And you call me a tease.”
Steve made a face, glancing down at himself. “Really?”
The sweat glistened on his toned arms, and Tony bit his lip dramatically, making a show of scanning his roommates form.
Steve rolled his eyes. “I certainly feel disgusting. I'm gonna hit the shower.”
He started towards his bunk, but Tony sidestepped and blocked his way, bringing them close enough that he could feel the heat emanating from Steve's form. He smelled like sweat, and oddly Tony liked it.
He quirked up an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips. “Care for some company?” He asked suggestively.
Inexplicably, a small, fond smile formed on those dashing lips.
Dashing? That was a word he hadn't thought of using for someone else before.
Yet more surprisingly, he cupped Tony's cheek gently, and for a moment the two simply stood, before the blond seemed to regain himself.
He withdrew his hand, giving the raven a friendly pat on the shoulder as if to justify his action, before there was a playful glint in his eye. “Maybe next time.” And he winked, before moving past the raven - rooted to the spot by an odd series of emotions - and retrieving a clean change of clothes.
Tony just watched, dumbstruck, as his roommate made his way to the bathroom door and closed it behind himself.
He continued to watch the door a moment, a strange sort of warmth coursing through him.
The he shook himself, shoving the feeling away to be over analyzed later.