Chapter 4
Steve wasn’t sure exactly when he had dozed off, but he startled awake as he desperately tried to reach a hand that quickly slipped from his grip.
He sweat cold in place a few moments, while he got his true bearings.
He glanced around the room to see Natasha and Janet sleeping soundly.
There was a faint clicking coming from the living area, and a flashing light.
Without a sound, Steve eased himself out of his bed and down to the ground, and crept to the corner where he could see into the living room.
The light was coming from a small flashlight, which was propped between Tony’s teeth.
The clicking was him picking up and setting down parts on the glass table, which he was doing remarkably quietly.
Steve moved out of the doorway into the actual room, and Tony looked up at him.
He dropped the flashlight into his hand. “Trouble sleeping? Need me to come cuddle you?” That same smirk on his face as ever.
Steve just shook his head, looking at his feet. The feeling of his own strength failing him - that hand, slipping from his - made Steve’s wrist ache.
He flexed it absentmindedly.
After a moment he noticed Tony watching him. “What?” He asked defensively.
Tony gestured to his wrist. “Old sport injury? A player but not a fan, maybe?”
Steve almost laughed. “Sports are overrated. I hurt my hand at work.” It wasn’t a total lie.
Tony raised an eyebrow. “What job?”
“Construction.” Okay, that was a lie. “Trying to hard to hold on to something, but… It fell.”
“Workman’s comp?” Tony didn’t miss a beat.
“Huh?”
“Did you get workman’s compensation?” Tony studied him, though it was difficult to read his expression in the dark.
“N-no, I didn’t make a case of it.” He flung his wrist carelessly. “It wasn’t even worth it.”
Tony scoffed, nodding as he returned to his work. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Steve wanted to protest, to insist or accuse Tony of making assumptions, but he couldn’t; he was right.
And Steve Rogers was not a liar.
“Okay, fine.” Steve moved and sat next to Tony on the floor, this time giving him plenty of workspace while only sitting close enough so the two could converse in depth. “You think you want to figure me out? I wasn’t totally honest about my hand. It’s a complicated story, but I’ll start with the part that should be easy for you to understand; I was in the military. You could say, a sort of special forces unit. I had a partner - guy I worked with for years - and I made a bad call. I ordered my men to fall back, while I didn’t. My partner was…” The corner of his mouth twitched upward as he thought of his old friend. “He always had my back. Wouldn’t let me go into danger alone.”
Tony nodded ever so slightly, as if to acknowledge the sentiment subtly.
“But by the end of it, he… Well, he didn’t leave with me.” Steve could still clearly hear his old partner’s ragged breath, as he clung to Steve to deliver his last words. Steve flexed his wrist. “The accident that killed him, that’s how I hurt my hand.” He turned to Tony now, expectantly. “I never worked construction or played sports.”
Tony’s hands had stilled, but he didn’t meet Steve’s eyes, rather looked only barely in his direction with his eyes, his expression calculating.
After a few more moments of silence, the raven deflated slightly, setting his tools and parts back on the table, and turning slowly towards Steve.
“That was pretty ballsy, Muscles.” Tony grinned sheepishly.
Steve shrugged. “It’s the past, I mean… I’m stronger for it.” He decided.
Tony leaned back and surveyed Steve slowly, eyes picking over his face and posture thoughtfully.
“I would imagine so.” He nodded, still scrutinizing his roommate.
Steve was beginning to grow uncomfortable under the intense stare.
Just when Steve was about to have to say something, Tony spoke up again.
“Okay, your turn.” He looked back up and out, not at anything in particular, but reclining against the couch.
Steve frowned. “What?”
“Ask me anything. Any one question, and I’ll answer totally honestly.” He threw his hands in the air. “No holds barred.”
Steve considered this for a moment, before crossing his arms over his chest. “Okay, how do you feel about your father?”
Tony stilled, the smug look slipping off of his face, replaced by a look of lackadaisical disinterest and mild irritation.
“My dad was a great engineer,” He started flatly. “He made amazing advancements in the world, he was a scientific icon and did miraculous work for the people.”
Steve shook his head. “I know what he did, Tony, I want to know how you feeltoward him.” He pressed.
Tony ground his jaw for a moment. “Well, I feel like he was very invested in his work, um, he was driven, and smart-”
“Tony.” Steve said repremansively, and the raven sneered at him for a moment, before running a hand through his hair and looking away again.
“What’d’you want me to say? That I felt neglected - boo hoo - when my dad put more into his work than his family? The man was a genius, and contributed to society in ways few others have, and that’s allowed me to lead a… somewhat privileged lifestyle, so how could I be mad? My father worked hard, made plenty of money to support his family, and he loved his wife. What more could a kid want?” He almost spat the last words.
Steve was slightly taken aback by what he’d just heard.
But Tony wasn’t done.
“You want me to say that I- that I wish we’d spent more time together, or that I wished I saw my parents more than my personal butler growing up? That I wished my dad would ever look at me with the pride he looked at photos of-of Captain America with?” He spat those two words with such venom, such envy and built-up anger, that Steve couldn’t help but flinch.
Tony laughed, raw and bitter. “You want me to say, Steve, how chilly it was, in my ivory tower?” He looked at his roommate, and Steve thought his eyes were shining.
The raven shook his head bitterly. “My dad did a lot of things well; he was a genius, a great engineer, a renowned scientist, an amazing husband, and a huge fan of Captain America.” His voice sounded hollow, his words harsh and bitter, full of resentment.
Steve watched him for a few moments, before turning his own gaze to his lap.
Steve didn’t think Tony wanted to hear an apology, or that he would take well to it, so he said nothing.
He also couldn’t help the gnawing sensation that had settled into his gut.
Howard Stark had neglected his family, become obsessive, become entrenched in his work, because of him.
Because he’d been obsessed with Captain America.
Obsessed with Steve.
The blond pulled himself from these thoughts to find Tony’s eyes studying him carefully, the gears visibly turning in his head.
When Steve met his eyes, he quirked up an eyebrow, but said nothing still.
The blond forced himself not to shift under the gaze, not giving Tony the satisfaction.
When the raven narrowed his eyes, even as he began to lean in, Steve still gave no reaction.
Before he knew it, Tony’s lips were on his and the world was still.
Steve was aware of the soft pressure of Tony’s hand which had moved back to his thigh, of the dim light of the room, the analogue clock ticking serene moments by, and the absolute care with which Tony kissed him.
Tony Stark. Kissing him.
Steve blinked a few times, and drew back, guilt welling up in his chest.
Tony Stark had kissed him, right after all but saying he despised him.
Only, Tony didn’t know Captain America and his college roommate were the same person. How could he have put that together?
When Tony’s face was in full view again, the challenging glint was in his eye. “Not like your high school girlfriend, huh?”
Steve narrowed his eyes. So this was part of Tony’s game.
The blond wasn’t going to lose tonight after how long he’d been playing.
He leaned in close, letting out a hot breath on Tony’s lips, blue eyes inches from Tony’s dark ones. “Not even close.” Feigning like he was going to kiss him, Steve planted a firm hand on the very top, inner side of Tony’s thigh and pushed back.
The raven’s eyes went wide at the gesture, and Steve smirked to himself as he stood.
“I should be getting back to bed,” He said casually. When he reached the door, he paused and turned back with a smug look and a smart-ass comment on the tip of his tongue, but at the dark look on Tony’s eyes he faltered.
The raven was watching him intensely, his head low and his eyes cold and calculating. His brow drawn tightly.
Steve said nothing as the other student stood, same look in his eyes, and started slowly towards him.
The same look in his eye, he walked right up to Steve, hesitated a moment, and then placed one hand on his crotch while using the other to pin the blond to the wall.
Steve felt a rush through him at the sudden contact and caught his breath.
Suddenly Tony was pressed all the way against him, his mouth on Steve’s neck.
The blond said and did nothing, totally limp and at his roommate’s mercy.
Tony traded the hand on Steve’s crotch for a knee and brought his other hand up to Steve’s face, which he cupped gently as he met his eyes again. “Don’t think you can win this one.” He breathed.
When he started to pull away, Steve was beginning to regain his wits and with one hand around his waist held him where he stood.
The raven pressed his knee gently upward, a defiant look in his eye.
Steve smirked, and lowered his hand to his roommate’s behind, making Tony tense against him.
Steve turned his face to whisper against Tony’s ear, a barely audible, “I already have.” And gave the ass a hard smack, before releasing the raven.
Tony turned away immediately, hiding his face from Steve. God what the blond would give to know what he was thinking.
Without another word, though, the man out of time turned and went back to his bed, mulling over the events of the night in his mind.