Someone Will Love You, But Someone Isn't Me

Skye has seen Ward at his worst, has seen him get so pissed off at the world that he splits his knuckles open from hitting a punching bag with all he's got. She's seen him with the kind of sadness that leaves bruises both emotionally and physically, like when he would cry in those empty bedrooms of their house thinking she couldn't see. She's witnessed him falling apart over a mission when he couldn't save everyone.

She's seen him at his best and everything in between.

But not like this. Never like this.

Broken.

''Skye there was nothing you could have done''.

''Garrett was too close, Ward had to of known what he was getting himself into''.

''He had to know it was a risk, standing up to John like that''.

''He was protecting you, I can't fault him for that''.

Skye closes her eyes, ignores all the voices around her. Feels tears well in her eyes then fall, a comforting hand on her shoulder but she doesn't care enough to look at who it belongs too. Maybe Mack, the fingers are big as they spread over her shirt. It's over. It's all finally over, all the stress of Garrett and Ward these long months have finally come to an end. She never has to worry about it anymore, Shield can breathe a little easier now.

Those thoughts give her no comfort though. Because even after everything she can no longer lie to herself. She still loves Grant. She's always been in love with him and even though he hurt her, she can't hate him for it anymore. Maybe that old saying is right, that time heals all wounds. Forgivness is another thing entirely, but for now understanding Ward even a little, seems to help. To make her think it might all be okay in the future.

It hits her then in the middle of the medical wing of the Playground, as she's crossing the threshold of a private room, she's alive. Garrett would have killed her if it wasn't for Grant, she's breathing because of him. Again. He called Coulson and told him where Garrett's safe house was, that's how they found Skye. She still can't believe it all ended like that, looking down at Grant this time he was the one bleeding out and she was begging him to stay.

Skye takes a deep breath and pushes open the door, the smell of bleach and beeping machines greet her. There lying in the sterile white hospital bed with an IV in his arm, is Ward. He was shot twice, once by Garrett, that bullet lodged deep in his shoulder. The other grazed his side, that one was by some random Hydra agent no one saw coming. On top of Grant's other injuries becauase of what Garrett did to him, he passed out from the pain.

It took begging and crying for Simmons to even think about helping Ward once they reached the Playground. Coulson didin't even want to bring Ward on the quin jet, just expected Skye to leave him to die all alone on the ground. But one threat from Kebo and Skye practically on her knees asking for him to help, he caved. So here they are. She has dried blood on her hands but she can't tell if it's hers or Ward's.

''How is he?'' She asks one of the doctors as she sits at Ward's bedside.

The woman gives her a comforting smile, ''he'll be fine. Just let him rest''.

But he won't be fine when he wakes up, not for a while anyway, she thinks. Because Garrett is dead. How is Ward supposed to live with that? Skye scoots the plastic chair as far up as it will go and takes his hand, normally so warm in hers, it's cold. WIth the intention of warming it up she takes it with both hands and rubs circles on the back of his palm, kisses his knuckles simply because she can, because she's grateful, because she doesn't hate him.

Because he's an idiot and risked his life for her, again.

He looks so peaceful right now, eyes closed, chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm. Skye doesn't want to shatter that, how young and innocent he looks, even under these pale florescent lights. She doesn't want to be the one to tell him that his entire world for the last almost twenty years, is gone. While she hated Garrett more than she's ever hated anyone, she gets what he meant to Ward. John was the only family he had.

You can't really compare the team to Garrett, but Skye wouldn't know what to do with herself if one of them died. She wouldn't know how to go on.

''You going to tell him when he wakes up or should I?'' Kebo asks, he hasn't left Ward's side since he was shot.

''I don't know''.

''You might want to figure it out''.

''That's helpful''.

''He's going to freak out''.

''Of course he is''.

''Would you tell him the truth?''

She gives Kebo a funny look, ''of course. Why do you think otherwise?''

''Just wondering, he deserves the truth''.

''I wasn't going to lie to him''.

''Good, because he deserves to know it was Coulson who killed Garrett''.

''I agree''.

It all happened very fast. One moment it was just Ward and John facing off, then Garrett was on the ground, but he was still quick enough to get that shot into Grant just before he died. When Skye turned around Coulson was standing there in a bullet proof vest, his gun raised. Then Ward went down, did he see John fall? What was the last thing he thought about? How is he going to react when he wakes?

Will he hate Shield for this? Try to kill Coulson for revenge? She doesn't know. Skye plays with the wedding band on his finger, suddenly missing her own. Could that be possible again for them? Or has there been too much damage, too much bad blood? Have they hurt each other beyond repair? Is she thinking this way because of all that's happened over the past couple days? Hell, the past few weeks?

Will she wake up tomorrow morning and be bitter on the subject of her husband all over again?

''You know he never took that off. Surprised you didn't notice it before''. Kebo mutters, nodding to Ward's wedding ring.

''Yeah me too''.

Grant begins to stir and Skye keeps ahold of his hands, she's nervous. Not for herself but for Ward, she doesn't want him to suffer over this. But he will, he loved John and now he's dead. His eyes don't open his breathing doesn't change nothing about Ward deems that he's awake, but Skye can tell, so can Kebo.

''It's alright boss, you're safe. Skye is too, we're fine. No one is going to hurt you''.

Brown eyes flutter open and Skye makes sure she's the first thing he sees, hoping to calm him.

''Grant? Are you in pain?''

He looks confused and out of place at first, side effect of the drugs in his system, it takes a minute for him to grasp his bearings. And then his face slips back into that mask he's so fond of. Skye wonders if he notices he does it, or if it's just so apart of him now he can't stop it.

''Skye''. Grant breathes, ''are you okay?''

She stands so she's leaning over him, gathers up their hands and presses them into her chest. Right over her heart so he can feel that she is.

''I'm fine. Ward you were shot, twice. We had to bring you to the Playground to recover but the doctors promise you're going to be just fine''. That's not what he cares about, they both know it.

''You're not hurt?'' He asks, his voice hoarse.

''No I'm alright''.

And then it all comes back. Skye can see it, the way everything floats to the surface on Ward's face. The stand off between himself and John, how Skye was in the middle and almost died. She can't actually tell if Ward is upset or not, nothing about him gives anything away.

''Where is John?''

Skye looks over to Kebo, Ward doesn't miss it. The silence in the room gives him the answer.

''He's dead, isn't he?''

With tears in her eyes Skye nods, places her hand on his chest, ''yes he is''.

Nothing. No expression, a smooth blank look on his cheeks.

''Ward? Are you, are you okay?''

And then the panic sets in, the guilt. ''I killed him''.

Ward says his tone sounds strange, hollow in a way.

''No Grant''-

Skye has never seen Ward have a panic attack before, so it takes her by complete surprise when he suddenly starts hyperventilating. She wonder for half a second how often he's had these, was it a common thing over the years? If so how did she miss it? Kebo it seems has experience with Ward's anxiety because he carefully braces both hands against the other man's shoulders and tells him he's going to be alright.

To breathe in and out slowly, match the breathing patterns to his own. It takes five minutes for Ward to fully calm down and Skye feels like he didn't want her to see that, that side of him. She wants to tell him it's nothing to be ashamed of that she's had a few panic attacks herself, but the words die and tears fill her eyes when he looks at her. Her heart breaks at what she sees on his face, he looks so lost. And afraid, vulnerable.

Like he has no place in the world.

''Grant, Garrett is dead but you didn't kill him. Coulson did, he was going to kill Skye, Phil didn't really have a choice''. Kebo tells him, Ward shows no reaction. Just pins his gaze on Skye, who's hands are still wrapped around his own.

''None of this was your fault Ward''. Skye comments, nothing shifts in his expression.

She looks over to Kebo for help, and the other man looks just as sad as Ward does. ''Boss what do you need? Just bloody say something''.

But he doesn't. And Ward's silence lasts for days.

Skye doesn't leave his bedside unless to shower or use the bathroom, even doing that causes a panic so deep inside her she does them as quickly as humanly possible. She's scared Ward is going to do something to himself, or Shield will lock him up in the basement cell, Vault D. She hasn't forgotten Coulson's hatred of her husband, she doesn't trust anyone at the Playground right now where Grant is concerned.

Ward just lays in bed and stares at the ceiling, sometimes he'll watch Skye when she isn't looking. But he still says nothing and it makes her unsettled. Skye wishes he'd scream or cry or do something anything other than this. She's got his hands her hers once more, perched on his bed now, Kebo is sitting on the opposite side in a lime green chair. He has a trashy magazine in one hand, beer in the other. He's acting like he isn't afraid for Ward, but he is.

Grant's injuries are healing nicely and according to the doctor on call he should be able to be released in a day or two. Skye knows there's no way in hell Shield is going to let Ward go, he has two options. Death or being locked up for who knows how long in Vault D. Skye has always wanted Ward to pay for his crimes, so maybe a few months in the basement is what he deserves.

While she loves him still with everything she has, he can't just be let off the hook for everything he's done. She'd rather have him safe at the Playground than dead, a world without her husband in it, isn't one she wants to live in. Skye could laugh at the turn of events, six months ago she would never want to be in the same room as Grant. Now she crawls into his hospital bed at night and tries to help him sleep, her hands never leaving his.

For the first time she wonders if they could really have a second chance, would she give him one? Could they make it work if he's ever allowed out of prison? Would he even want to after this? He's still not talking, at least he's eating, but Skye sees the sadness that weighs him down. Sleeping for Ward has been rare these days but when he does drift off he says John's name, cries when he dreams.

Kebo and Skye try to soothe him to hold him when he's having another panic attack, but they aren't sure if it's helping or not. The doctors have attempted to prescribe medication for the bad dreams, the attacks, but Ward always shakes his head at that. Skye is starting to fall asleep sitting up, so she does something out of habit. Lays down next to Grant curls her legs with his under the blanket, lays her head on the uninjured part of his shoulder.

Taking their joined hands and resting them against her stomach. There's a camera in the corner of the room that Skye has long stopped caring about, let the team think whatever they want, right now she doesn't care. Grant is at his worst and she's not leaving him, not again.

''I'm sorry''. Skye jumps up in her half asleep state, turning around to see Ward staring at her. ''What? Did you say something?''

The room is dark she can barely make out the brown in his eyes, but his palm is sweaty against hers. It's day six of him being in the hospital wing of the Playground.

''For everything, for lying to you. I am so sorry Skye''. ''We don't have to talk about that''.

''But I need you to know that I am, baby I am so sorry for hurting you, for ruining us''.

Skye feels salt water on her lips but can't feel the sensation of crying, she just lays back down next to Ward and starts running her free hand through his hair.

''I know you are''. ''I thought I could keep it all together, that even if Hydra came out of the shadows I'd still be able to be with you''.

''Ward, it wasn't just you that ruined us''. For the first time real emotion flashes across his face, surprise, she thinks. ''Skye you don't have to''-

''I should have tried to understand Ward, everything that happened to you. Our dying marriage wasn't all your fault, I didn't try to save it either''.

Skye takes a deep breath and plays with his wedding ring, this deep forgotten sorrow and guilt entering her. ''Can you ever forgive me?'' She asks Ward, who looks like he's going to cry himself.

''What?'' ''I was awful to you Grant, and you didn't really deserve that''. ''Skye''- ''Look I know it's unfair of me to ask for your forgiveness when I don't think I'll ever able to do the same for you but''- ''I forgive you Skye''.

It sort of hits her all at once, her and Ward's life together is dead and gone never to return again. She was shot and nearly died because of Garrett, she lost Ward because of him, and now he's dead and Grant doesn't know how to function properly. All the children forever gone to them too, those flowers in the backyard she will never see again swaying the wind. Skye turns and sobs into Ward's neck.

She's expecting him to do nothing but instead he wraps both arms around her, not caring about his own injuries. Skye can't hear him over the emotions tearing out of her chest but he's crying too, buries his face in her hair. Kebo who has pretended to be asleep this whole time stretches his arm and places it on Ward's shoulder. Squeezes gently, his other hand cupping the silver flask always full of alcohol.

Skye isn't sure how long she cries for, just that when she's done her face is numb eyes puffy, and her whole body hurts. She untangles herself from Grant who is stroking her hair. A distant look in his eyes. He frowns when her gaze meets his, she thinks his fingers attempt to caress her cheek but he stops himself. Hand suspended in midair. Skye wordlessly takes his wrist and drags until his fingers are resting against her skin.

''I didn't mean it you know, when I said I was glad we never had kids''. Skye tells him, her voice soft. ''I wanted to hurt you but that wasn't the way''. Ward just continues to stare at her hand on her cheek, one running through her hair.

''Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Think of what our baby's life would be right now, his father gone. Living in an underground base on the run, that's not the life I'd want him to have, or you''.

Skye doesn't know where this sudden desire to talk came from but she's not going to stop it.

''You would have made a wonderful father Grant''. He looks like he's going to cry again but with a clear to his throat, it vanishes.

''You'd of been the perfect mother Skye, there's no one else I would have wanted to raise my children''.

He wipes a stray tear from her eye and gives a sad smile, she returns it, her fingers clutching his wrist again. Ward's expression turns from sorrow to anger, his eyes swimming in fury.

''What? Are you okay?'' His mood swing is making her nervous. ''I never should have gotten that serum for John''.

Oh. Skye still may be upset about that but she understands why he did it. He was trying to save the only father figure he'd ever known, Garrett brain washed him into thinking of only that for all of his adult life. In the end what happened with John Garrett wasn't completely Ward's fault. Skye tells him this and Ward starts shaking his head, claiming he wasn't good enough not for her not for John. He failed them.

It takes an hour to both Skye and Kebo to talk Ward down, to make that guilt eating away in the pit of his stomach to lessen just a tad. Ward looks to Skye and apologizes for putting her life at risk just to save John, that she'll never know how sorry he is. Skye just nods and holds his hand, not sure what to say. She isn't in a place where she can forgive Ward but she understands to an extent, and that's a bridge she never thought she'd cross.

Skye feels this weight has been lifted off her shoulders as she and Ward continue to talk. When was the last time they did this? Just laid next to each other and had a conversation? She honestly can't remember. Putting all the bad memories aside, Skye realizes she's missed this. Her best friend, just talking to Ward about everything and nothing. She's missed him more than she knew, if he notices her holding onto him a little tighter he doesn't comment.

Eventually though there's one elephant in the room and Skye is hesitant to discuss it. Ward always on the same wave length runs a hand down her arm. ''We don't have to talk about it''.

''Do you regret it? What happened that night?'' The night they slept together after she thought he was dead.

Ward looks at her like she's grown a second head, ''no''. He assumes she does, didn't she say as much?

But taking him by surprise Skye shakes her head, ''me either. I'm sorry for making you think I did''.

Eventually they doze off once more, not waking up again until the late hours of the morning. It's day eight that Ward's been in the hospital and Skye can tell he's getting antsy. She wonders what he's going to do if Coulson insists on locking him up, will he try to escape or go willingly? Or is Grant thinking the same thing she is? That prison is not an option, he's going to be executed? The thought makes Skye nauseous and grab onto his hand.

''You need to shower and eat something''. Mack tells Skye as he enters the room, hands her a plate stacked with potato chips and a sandwich. ''I'm good''.

All three men in the room roll their eyes and Skye scowls. ''Fine''. Mack stands at the foot of Ward's bed, makes sure Skye finishes all the food on the plate.

''You need anything Ward?'' Grant isn't used to any Shield agent showing kindness towards him so he doesn't respond right away. ''No, I'm fine''.

Skye takes an offered sip from Kebo's flask before going off to take a shower. ''I'll be right back''. She tells Ward, squeezing his hands.

He watches her until she's out of sight and sighs, causing Mack to look over at him. ''You're still in love with her''. Instead of saying yes Ward has something else to talk to Mack about.

''Take care of her''. Is all he says, causing both Kebo and Mack to cock their heads to the side.

''You're not planning to break out of here, are you?'' Mack asks, Kebo stands at this gun at the hip ready to use if need be.

''No. But I have a feeling I won't be seeing my wife again for a long time''. Kebo is about to ask why, if the drugs they have Ward on are making him loopy, when Phil Coulson walks into the room.

''Agent McKenzie I need a moment alone with Ward''. ''Yes sir''.

Coulson looks over to the man in question with a deep hatred on his face, the kind that if looks could kill, Ward's heart would have stopped beating by now.

''Let me guess, you're here to throw me in a prison cell. Can't say I don't agree with you''.

''Actually no, I have something better planned for you Ward''. Kebo stands over Grant, hand on his gun.

''If you think I'm going let you''- If Ward could feel anything he would have never let Coulson pull an ICER out and shoot Kebo with it.

But Grant feels nothing but emptiness, this dark numbness dragging him down like stones on his chest. So he watches Kebo fall to the ground and knows that Coulson isn't going to be merciful.

''You know I thought long and hard about what to do with you Ward, and locking you up in the basement just isn't enough. So something better came along just this morning actually''.

Coulson puts the ICER away, locks his hands behind his back. For the rest of his life Ward will remember this moment, remember the fear of what's about to be said clawing at his throat.

''Your brother has been asking about you, he's still wanting to bring Hydra agents to justice. You will be transported into Senator Christian Ward's care within the hour. After that, I don't give a damn what he does to you''.

Grant feels nothing at all.