Someone Will Love You, But Someone Isn't Me

Ward wonders if Skye meant it when she said she's glad they never had children. She was so angry at the time he's honestly not sure. All he can imagine is how wrong that is, he has flashes of holding Skye as she sobbed in a hospital bed or on the bathroom floor. Clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping her upright. Skye would spend days very far away from him locked in her head afterwards, each time was like a stab in the heart for them both.

Skye would go to work and kiss him goodnight, act normal but he could tell there was always going to be apart of her missing. Losing a child destroys you, and they lost four. It's cruel. The worst thing he's ever gone through, Grant wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone, not even an enemy. You don't get over something like that. Maybe Skye was just so pissed at him she said anything that could hurt him as much as he hurt her.

He gets it she has every right to hate him. But for her to say she was glad to not have his children, it stung. Ward can see her side though, what kind of life would their kid have when Shield fell? Would Grant make the right decision and not follow John? Or would he still be here in the same position, never seeing his baby? Skye wouldn't allow him near their son or daughter, he would have to choose.

Suppose it's not really a choice at all, he would pick his family without a doubt. But this topic is a dead one. no use dwelling on it now. Ward walks into the safe house he and Garrett are currently residing in, John is fast asleep. It's three in the morning and Ward finds himself wide awake his mind not shutting off. He tries every trick in the book to keep the thoughts at bay, after a shower and some breathing exercises he's still wide eyed in bed.

He knew Jeff was going to betray them, it was obvious. What Grant didn't count on was Skye being the Shield agent to question him, Coulson set a very fine trap indeed. The Director of Shield used Skye to lure Ward in and it worked, he couldn't leave that patio table. It would have been so easy too, force Jeff away and lead him into the car, dispose of him quickly. It's what Garrett expected.

But then he saw Skye sitting there her expression hard, so different from the woman he used to know. May is training her hard he can tell, trying to build up walls so high and wide Ward has no chance of breaching them. Not that Skye would ever let him anyway. He doesn't want to accept that but knows the days of her seeing him as anything other than a liar are over. He isn't her loving husband anymore, he can't kiss her good morning or love her the way she deserves.

Soon he's drifting off and dreams of Skye with her long hair, she's laughing at him and for once the dream is perfect. Everything is as it should be.

A few hours later he's just finished his morning workout and is making coffee when Garrett strolls into the kitchen. It's seven forty five, he's slept in late and this has Ward worried. ''Relax son I'm fine''. ''You never sleep in John''. ''I was tired, not a big deal''. These days it's becoming more and more evident of John's rapid decline in health. He's slower, sleeps more, doesn't go on missions quite as often.

Grant won't admit it to his mentor but he's terrified. He can face bombs and being held captive. gun and knife wounds, but John dying? A world without the man who saved him from a living hell? Ward doesn't even want to imagine it, and they aren't any closer to a cure than they were six months ago. ''Where's your boyfriend?'' Ward rolls his eyes, ''Kebo wll be back in a few days''. ''He's with Skye isn't he?''

Ward did not ask Kebo but more than likely, he's always nice to talk to and by the looks of it Skye needed him desperately. ''Probably''. John shakes his head as Ward pours him a cup of coffee. ''You have to get over that broad''. Skye is the one thing he and Garrett don't really talk about, John is still pissed his golden boy lied to him for six years. Ward doesn't want to reveal anything about Skye to Garrett because honestly he wants to protect her.

He knows exactly what John does to something he deems a weakness and Ward has no intention of letting him touch Skye. Grant just shakes his head and hopes Garrett drops it, he doesn't get his wish. ''Look I get it, she's cute. But she's not the only woman out there kid''. Well she's the only woman Ward wants, always. He will never love another person the way he loves Skye, he can't think of anyone else like that.

''I know''. ''Do you? Please tell me you're not still waiting for her''. He'll probably always be waiting for her. Ward's face is blank but John has known him long enough to tell what he's thinking. ''Grant she hates you, she will never love you again. Why can't you see that?'' ''I know exactly how Skye feels about me''. ''So what's the problem?'' Ward is still in love with her he's always been, always will be.

There's an awkward silence until John sighs and puts a hand to his head. ''You took care of Jeff didn't you?'' Ward holds in the sigh of relief at the change of subject, ''yes sir''. Lying to John is unnatural, foreign and Ward doesn't like it. There's fear in his chest and ice in his veins, if Garrett finds out he isn't telling the truth there will be hell to pay. But instead of being skeptical John just nods and answers his phone that has begun to ring.

Grant is about to take a shower when Garrett cries out from the other room and Ward sprints to him, the fear of losing John is stronger than anything he's ever known. Garrett is bent over the couch clutching his side and with mechanical movements because he's done this a hundered times, Ward stablizes John and after a few minutes he's breathing normally again. But he's pale and shaking, a thin layer of sweat on his skin.

''I'm going to call Raina and tell her to work''- ''Ward we need to move faster''. John's voice is weak and the hand gripping Grant's shoulder is almost like claws. John's eyes are wide and for a second Grant wonders if he's afraid to die. But then he's shaking of the terror and asking John what he needs to do. ''Go to the lab see if Flowers is anywhere close on the cure. If she's not, motivate her''.

John gives Ward an all too familiar smirk, they know exactly what it means. ''Yes sir''. Ward makes sure Garrett is fine and safe enough to leave on his own and then he's getting dressed and slipping a gun into his jeans. With the right amount of pressure, Raina will do whatever they want, John can't wait around forever for a cure. They need to move faster than this, Ward refuses to stand by and let the only father figure he's ever known die.

*

''He's such an arrogant ass''. Skye throws back another shot and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. ''Yeah Ward can be an ass sometimes''. Kebo watches as she orders another shot of tequila, her cheeks are flushed and she keeps looking around the bar they are in as if Grant himself is going to pop out any moment. It was only yesterday that she saw Ward again and Kebo can tell it's taking it's toll.

She went months without seeing her husband and now he's just popping up out of nowhere into her life, Kebo wants to tell her Ward isn't doing it on purpose. That to see her is just as painful that he regrets ever lying to her in the first place. But Skye doesn't want to hear that right now. ''I mean he can't just walk into my interrogation and steal my informant''. ''He kind of did''. Skye shakes her head again, ''ass''.

For the next hour Skye gets drunk and cries on Kebo's shoulder, cursing Ward and all the years they spent together. She passes out in the cab on the ride to the hotel he's staying in, Kebo carries her over to the bed and covers her up. Sighing and what she and Ward's life has become. He knew and warned Ward that it was going to end up like this, that they were both just going to get hurt in the end.

But Grant was too in love too foolish because he thought he could have it all. That Hydra wasn't going to ruin anything with Skye, that if they did come out of the shadows she would understand Ward's part in it all. That he wasn't a true believer, he and John only joined because Shield left Garrett to die. But she didn't and here they are. Kebo falls asleep on the couch after calling Ward who doesn't answer.

Skye wakes to a pounding in her head, the room she's in is freezing. Opening an eye she sees a familiar leather jacket on the floor, she's in Kebo's room. They went out for drinks last night, Skye doesn't remember much. May is going to kill her, Shield can't afford for her to be going out and getting drunk, crying over her husband. She's done that too many times already. ''You alive in there?'' ''Barely''.

An hour later she's freshly showered and dressed, Kebo has coffee waiting on the kitchen counter. ''You look terrible''. ''I feel terrible''. ''Told you not to drink so much last night''. ''Shut up''.

''You ever think about dating?'' Kebo asks her a few minutes later causing Skye to nearly choke on her coffee. ''What?'' He shrugs and refills his ever present silver flask. ''You know going out with another man, having dinner. Dating''. Nope. The thought leaves a bad taste in her mouth. ''No I havent''. Kebo smirks and Skye puts down he rmug. ''Why?'' ''Just wondering''. ''Popeye''- ''Nothing just Ward had a very different answer when I asked him, that's all''.

Skye isn't too proud to admit that thinking about Ward being with another woman makes her sick and jealous. ''I can see you're dying to know what he said''. ''Not really''. ''He punched me and didn't speak to me for a week''. Skye almost laughs but let's the coffee burn her throat instead. ''What were you trying to achieve by bringing this topic up? Making me jealous does not mean Ward and I would get back together''.

''Honey it would take a bloody miracle for that to happen. But we're getting somewhere, you still care about him''. Skye throws a throw pillow at him and Kebo complains about how he bruises easily for the next hour.

By the time Skye is back at the Playground she's still hungover as hell but the Advil is starting to take away the headache. Simmons is in the kitchen and Skye is on aler the second she sees her friend's face. ''Hey is everything okay?'' Jemma turns and her cheeks are tear stained, Skye quickly pulls the other woman into her arms. ''It's Fitz''. ''Is he okay?'' ''I'm just, he's doing so much better and I never thought that would happen''.

Skye holds Simmons as she cries into her shoulder, Skye relaxes just a little. Fitz is getting better, that's all anyone has wanted around here. The man in question walks into the kitchen ten minutes later, by then Simmons has composed herself and is chatting away with Skye and Hunter at the table. Will Skye ever stop feeling guilty whenever she sees Fitz? Will they ever get past what Ward has done to them?

When Fitz struggles to form a sentence Skye feels that bitterness work it's way into her throat. No. No she will never let Ward get away with it.

The target sits in front of her blank and empty, Skye straps on the headphones and grabs the gun. It's cool to the touch, light in her hands. It's become a daily part in Skye's life, another thing she didn't think would happen. She likes having it on her, makes her feel safer more in control. She puts on the protective glasses and pulls the trigger. Hits the mark over and over until her hands are sore and there's sweat on the back of her neck.

''Nice''. May compliments and Skye gives her SO a nod. ''I imagined they were all Ward and Garrett''. ''Speaking of, Coulson wants you on the next mission with Hunter''. ''Okay''. Skye wonders if they're taking what Jeff said seriously. About John looking for a Shield agent, it's looking more and more like it might be Skye herself. She forgot to ask Kebo about it, he would probably know. Question of the day though, does Ward?

If it was life or death between her and Garrett Skye has her doubts. He would pick John in the end she thinks. Yes he loves her but Grant has proven he just loves John more.

Skye suits up for the mission the next evening and wonders how this became her life.