I Think I Love Her
I Think I Love Her
For someone as smart as Peter, he was a major imbecile. He practically told MJ that he was Spider-Man. When he told Ned about it later that day when he got in, Ned was gobsmacked.
“You told her?!” he screeched after Peter filled him in.
“No! Well, not exactly.” He chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. “I don't even know what happened. One second, I'm bragging about how I'm friends with Mr. Stark, the next, she's grilling me about how we're friends.” He sighed. It was obvious to him as it was happening that she was going to put two and two together. She was a lot smarter than a lot of the kids who went to their school, which was saying quite a bit.
Ned was pinching the bridge of his nose. “Dude,” was all he said for a good minute.
“I know, I know.” His head dropped to his hands. Thoughts of MJ subtly alluding to the fact that he was Spider-Man in class haunted his brain every second. His nerves were getting so bad, he was starting to sweat. “Maybe she doesn't know?”
Ned looked like that was the dumbest thing Peter had said in some time.
Minutes passed without either of them saying a word. “Okay, okay,” Ned spoke up eventually, “you just have to come clean.”
“No! I can't!”
“Peter, you have to. She already knows, so you might as well explain what happened.”
“Ned, I can't. MJ... I can't let her get caught up in this. If something happens to her because someone finds out she knows, I—” He cut off abruptly. He didn't even want to finish the statement. If she got hurt because of him, it would kill him. “If she doesn't know—”
“Dude, she does.”
“You don't know that. If she doesn't know, then telling her isn't an option.” When Ned tried to protest, he cut him off. “No. It is not an option.”
Ned threw his hands up and relented. “Alright, have it your way. But, I'm telling you. She knows and she's gonna be pissed you kept her out of the loop.”
What he said was truer than he even realized. This was a months long secret that Peter had been keeping from even his closest friends. It was only by complete accident that Ned and May knew. If Peter had his way, no one would know. It was the only way to keep them completely safe from his growing list of enemies; the top of which was occupied by Vulture, who also knew who he was. It was a miracle that he was in prison.
“Liz's dad knows who I am,” he uttered quietly. “I don't know if I ever told you.”
Ned gulped. “You mean that crazy guy with the wings?”
Peter nodded. “If he ever gets out, everyone I'm close to is going to pay. Including MJ. So, it's imperative that she never find out.”
He nodded. “Okay. I understand.”
“Thanks, Ned.”
“Well, on the bright side, at least she likes you.”
Given the last few weeks, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing. He was sure that he planned on finding out.
The next day, Peter was nervous as hell. MJ was notorious for pretending that certain things didn't happen and acting normally, despite having discussed previously something that should have in no way been ignored. Their entire conversation after school the day before fell under that category.
“Sup, loser,” MJ greeted when she sat down next to him in their first period class. Just as he thought; it was like yesterday hadn't even happened.
That was good. He could breathe a little easier knowing she wasn't going to make a big deal about it. She probably didn't even know. Like, she would have said something by then if she had. Right?
Right. Peter was just making something out of nothing.
Nope. Nope nope nope. Peter was right. He was totally right and damn him for not listening to Ned when it could have mattered.
Peter was doing his nightly patrol later that night when he heard a woman call out to him. “Hey, Spidey! Down here!”
The voice sounded eerily familiar. So familiar that a chill was running up his spine when he scanned the rooftops for the source. Please don't be MJ. Please don't be MJ. Please don't be—damn it, it's MJ. His shoulders slumped. Okay, Peter. Just play it cool. She probably wants to ask you for help or something. Please don't blow this.
He attached a web-line to a nearby flagpole and spun around it twice to get enough momentum for a theatrical landing. He didn't do that to try and impress her or anything. “Um, good evening, fair citizen,” he greeted. He took on a fake accent to throw her off. “How may I be of assistance?”
She grinned. “Sup, Spidey. Oh, I don't need any help. I just wanted to give you this.” She held a box out.
Wow, she got me a gift. Wait, this could be a trap! Peter was wary, but he couldn't let MJ know that he was wary. Man, being sneaky was hard. “Oh? Oh, well, thanks. I appreciate it.” Whether subconsciously or not, when he took the box from her, his fingers trailed down the back of her hands. His fingers trembled. “Let's see what we got here.”
It was a white teddy bear holding a red heart. “I—” Oh, shit, she knows. No she doesn't, Peter. Get a fucking grip. “Thank you,” he said with genuine gratitude. He nearly called her MJ, but thankfully remembered that Spider-Man didn't know who she was. Please, Peter, don't fuck this up. “But, I'm afraid I don't understand. Don't you think your boyfriend or husband would like something like this more?” Seriously? Just leave already!
He knew he had to go. It was safer to just thank her for the kind and thoughtful gift, then take his leave. She would understand; Spider-Man had a city to protect. He just couldn't spend time talking to some random girl he didn't know. Yet, despite how much sense it made to leave, he couldn't bring himself to. MJ looked so beautiful in the moonlight. The way the light reflected off her soft curls mesmerized him. Then, there was that stupid grin on her face. It was just so cute, and he had never used that word with MJ, but it was just so appropriate and oh shit, she was saying something.
Something about a card? He looked in the box and found a card inside. It read 'You really suck at secret identities ^_^ <3' The world start spinning like an out-of-control top. The air was sucked out of his lungs. This couldn't have been happening. Not like this. Not after he had learned to be so careful with what he said and how he said it. He couldn't have just given away his identity to someone after trying to flex for them! NO!
He swallowed roughly in an attempt to calm himself down. “I think there's been a mistake, miss,” he spoke shakily in one last ditch effort to throw her off.
It didn't work.
She smirked knowingly. “Cut the shit, Parker. I know it's you.”
NOOOOOOOOOO! How? He had been so careful. “I... how?! How did you—”
“You really need a voice filter for that mask of yours. You still sound like a fifteen year old boy.” She sauntered up to him, playfully smirking. “I gotta hand it you, dork. You really had everyone fooled. Everyone thought all this time that you were just a complete flake, but look at you. A superhero.”
No, this wasn't right. She shouldn't have been so happy about this. Didn't she realize the danger she had just put herself in? That he put her in? “MJ, please,” he pleaded. “You can't say anything to anyone! This is all I have. If anyone finds out, you, Ned, and May are gonna be in big trouble!”
“Relax, Tiger. I'm not a snitch. My lips are sealed.”
That put him at ease, but he still didn't like it. It didn't matter if she took his secret to the grave, she was still in danger. But, all that worry faded to the background when he looked at her. Her smile was just so beautiful and so infectious and he suddenly wanted to make her smile all the time.
“I can't believe I'm friends with fucking Spider-Man.”
She didn't sound angry. It would probably come once she had a second to let everything sink in, but he was going to enjoy this moment for however long it lasted. “Yeah.” He pulled his mask off, revealing his tired, sweaty face to MJ for the first time. “So,” he said while holding the bear up, “For me or Spider-Man?”
She looked down at the floor, suddenly ashamed. “Uh, you.”
His heart started to beat a little faster. Even if he knew she liked him, it was still strange seeing her act so... conventionally affectionate. He had gotten used to her being a dick to him as a way to show she cared. “I like it. It's not something I'd expect from you. I feel bad, though. I didn't get you anything.”
She scoffed dismissively. “You didn't have to. Not like you knew or anything.”
She was right, but that wasn't going to stop. “Yeah, well... be right back. He handed her the bear and leaped off the roof. Now he had a few minutes to find something sappy and lovey-dovey. A bouquet was too cliché. A bear would just be copying what she gave him. A card was lazy.
He opted for a simple pillow he saw in a flower shop window he found by chance. He snatched it up via web-line, then floated a twenty folded into a paper airplane to the shocked cashier. “Thanks! Keep the change!”
When he took a moment to look it over, he really wished he had done that before paying for it. Because 'I love you' was written on one side in big white letters. He sucked in a big gulp of air to quell the flames building in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't planned on taking it that far. He definitely liked her liked her, but he didn't love her. Did he?
Would he even know? Like, what was love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more. Focus Peter.
It was too late to go back. The building where MJ was waiting was coming into view. The closer he got, the faster his heart was beating.
“Here you go,” he said as he handed her the box.
“You really didn't have to,” she muttered. She pulled out the pillow and stared at it. “W-wow.” She was speechless. Peter Parker had just made Michelle Jones speechless. Not even her realizing he was Spider-Man had reduced her to a gibbering mess. “Thank you, dork.”
That sounded more like a petname than Tiger did. “That's not even the best part,” he said softly. He turned the pillow over to show her the message.
“Peter,” she gasped.
Oh, man. Tonight was turning into the best night of his life. He was seeing a side of MJ that he didn't even dream existed. He tried to keep it cool. “I mean, it's probably not a big deal to you, but I thought it was appropriate.”
“I love it.”
“I'm glad.”
Their gazes met. Suddenly, the rest of the world melted away. Right then, there was nothing else in the entire world that mattered except the girl standing in front of him. If this was what love was, then Peter was okay with her knowing how he felt.
MJ's head leaned down until her lips met his. The whole thing took him completely by surprise. Both because MJ was kissing him, but mostly because holy shit MJ was kissing him! Like, not sarcastically or ironically, but actually kissing him. On the lips. On purpose. Under no compulsion from anyone or anything except her own hormones.
It was only a peck that was over in like five seconds, but his entire face was on fire. He looked at her, and she looked at him. He wanted so badly to kiss her again, to make it deeper and more passionate. He wanted to take her and do things that only adults knew how to do. He wanted to discover things about himself and her. He wanted her, badly.
That was just the hormones talking. He took in a deep breath to stomp them down long enough to actually say something. “Wow.” Brilliant.
“Yeah. Wow.” At least MJ was just as stupefied.
Nothing else was said. A stupid, goofy grin had glued itself to Peter's face. At least she had the same kind of look on hers. They only held each other's gaze for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Normally, that would have crossed over into awkward immediately, but it felt so natural.
“I, uh, I have to go.”
She said nothing, but gave him a tight hug, the second one she had ever given him. This time, he hugged her back and was he glad he did.
Bear in hand, he slipped his mask on and leaped off the building.
Was this love? He didn't know, but he sure as shit planned on finding out.