Sleep Talking
Rocket had yet to return and Peter was officially done with the past few hours. S,o he went to bed aboard the ship. He couldn’t feel Ronan at the moment and figured that if he could slip into unconsciousness he just might get some real sleep. Even if all the crap of the day was weighing on his mind, he also didn’t have to wonder what was going on anymore. That had to count for something, right?
It didn’t take long to succumb to his bored sleepiness. He dreamt of nothing at first and it was wonderful. However, as his mind shifted slowly toward the odd flowers he’d created earlier he found himself standing in a very sparse version of the Collector’s museum. All he could see was the small pond and of course his two whistling flowers.
He stood, staring in surprise at the detail of the flowers. Even in what he knew to be a dream, they were surprisingly complex. And yet he’d managed it, hadn’t he? He’d just gone on instinct and trusted to his limited knowledge of plants and whatever else was kicking around in his head to build what he envisioned.
“I wonder if I should name them or if the Collector is planning on doing it.” Peter said to himself as he squatted down on his heels and placed his hand on the dark red leaf of Yondu’s flower.
"They are your creations.” Peter shivered at the sound of Ronan’s voice and he immediately stood back up. “It is only right that you name them.”
He’d never actually heard it when it wasn’t yelling some fanatical nonsense or sounding all weird and haunting. It was a little…satisfying to hear him this way. He didn’t know a voice could be that deep or powerful when a body wasn’t even associated with it. How was he able to communicate, anyhow? How was any ghost able to communicate? Would they always sound like themselves? Did they have to practice?
“I’m not all that imaginative, to be honest. Planning and creating is more up Rocket’s alley than mine.” Peter shrugged self-consciously. What the Hell was he supposed to do with his Kree soulmate in a dream? Was there some kind of standard protocol? Then again, it’s not like he’d follow it if there were.
“What you have created is really quite impressive.” Ronan stated and suddenly he was standing to the side of Peter, looking no different than the day they stood against him. “I was unaware of your profound intelligence and skill with such complex intricacies.”
“I’m not building you a body, Ronan.” Peter frowned.
“Not yet.” Ronan acknowledged.
“Not ever.” Peter glared.
“Just like you wouldn’t release me from the stone?” Ronan asked with an arrogant confidence. “Forgive me if I continue to doubt.”
“Building a body isn’t that simple. It’s not the same thing as building a plant.” Peter scoffed.
“You are right. What you created, while more complex than a body, was mostly original. I require an exact replica.” Ronan stated. “Which is why you will practice and study until you have perfected your knowledge of my body.”
“Like Hell I will!” Peter argued, feeling a small thrill from Ronan that came in the face of his own angry defiance. Was Ronan…Not the point! “Why should I help you? You killed Drax’s family, you want to kill me and the rest of my friends, not to mention every Xandarian in the galaxy!”
“True, however you are wrong on one point and forgetting another.” Ronan replied. “You are not worthy of being my nemesis, at least not at this time. Your use has not been determined so I do not want to kill you, yet.”
Peter rolled his green eyes as he refrained from face palming himself. “And the forgotten point?”
“More than any of that, I want Thanos dead. He’s the one who sent me on the fool’s errand to begin with. Now that I have failed and betrayed him, he will punish the Kree just to spite me.”
“Even if he thinks you are dead?” Peter frowned. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
“Since when is life fair?” Ronan countered with a glare. “He’ll do it in case I am able to see him from Eternal Paradise.”
“It’s disturbing on so many levels that you think you’d be going to your kind’s Heaven.” Peter grumbled.
“Why shouldn’t I be accepted?” The Kree tilted his head. “I did all that was required of me. I gave everything to my people. I sacrificed for the Kree time and time again, all for them. To anyone who counts, I was the epitome of “good”.”
“Destroying planets wouldn’t earn you Heaven where I come from, regardless of how justified you felt.” Peter remarked. “Pretty sure the Xandarians are on my side, too.”
“Do you believe the pilots from Xandar deserve their ‘Heaven’?” Ronan asked.
Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Probably.”
“Even if some killed dozens or even hundreds of Kree during the war?”
“But you guys were at war. There’s a difference.” Peter denied, seeing where he was going. “You chose to continue the war, even after peace treaties were agreed to.”
“Who gets to decide when a war is really over?” Ronan moved to step forward but seemed to change his mind as he gestured with his right hand. “If you are able to determine when and how often you work with Ravagers or when to treat them as enemies, why am I not allowed this same decision?
“You had information that the Ravagers did not, correct?” Ronan waited to speak until after Peter nodded. “You knew something that they didn’t and knew that they were wrong in their assumptions and dealings. It’s why you didn’t give Udonta the stone.”
“Totally different! You were gonna destroy everything! He would have sold it to someone dangerous. Possibly Thanos himself.”
“I did not give Thanos the stone for the same reason you didn’t give it to Udonta. They couldn’t be trusted with it based on the information we had that others did not.” Ronan reasoned. “Which is why I say to you, I know things of the Xandarians that you do not. You are young and mortal, you cannot possibly presume to understand more about the war between my people and the Xandarians.”
“Genocide is wrong. You can’t take out an entire race or species just in case some of them are bad!” Why was this so hard for the Kree to understand? He wasn’t stupid!
“Will you not destroy Thanos for that very reason? Because to you it’s not worth the risk, right?” Ronan debated.
“No! That’s not it at all! The Xandarians wanted and agreed to peace! They wanted no more war. You wanted vengeance over your father, grandfather and great grandfather’s death. That is not a good excuse for genocide. Wiping out an entire race over the loss of three people? Come on Ronan, even you can’t be that nuts.”
To Peter’s surprise, Ronan frowned as he didn’t appear capable of arguing the point. He found himself trying to reach out and feel what the big Kree was feeling. It was…hard to read. It felt angry, which wasn’t a surprise, but there was something there simmering beneath all that rage and he wondered if he’d ever get that barrier of heat to fall.
“Drax said you laughed when you killed his wife and daughter.” He didn’t know why he said that, but it felt like something he needed to do. To press his advantage as well as remind himself of just who he was dealing with. “Who does that?”
Ronan appeared confused for a moment, his brows furrowed and his head slightly tilted. When his purple eyes widened just a touch, his expression darkened as his lip curled into a sneer. “He lies.” He stated simply.
“Drax wouldn’t lie.” Peter disagreed. “I don’t think even knows how to.”
“Tell me, Peter Quill. Do I strike you as the type to laugh gleefully? Even while fighting?”
“Huh.” Was all he could say because now that he thought about it, the answer was no. Peter tried to picture it, but he couldn’t. It didn’t fit with what he knew of the fanatic. “I think I’ve heard you laugh once before but uh, I guess….I guess it would be out of character. You seem like the lecturing and shouting down angry verses kind of killer.”
Clearly unamused, Ronan took a deep breath and then continued speaking. “Drax the Destroyer is a cruel and vicious man. He has killed dozens of people for reasons I am sure you would find unjustifiable.”
“That’s in the past. Besides, he didn’t kill defenseless children in their mother’s arms.” Ha! Take that. Defend yourself from that accusation.
“Is that what he told you I did? Or is that pure speculation on your part, Star Lord?” Ronan sneered in disgust.
“What do you mean?”
“Has it not occurred to you that Drax’s wife and daughter were engaged in combat as soldiers?” The disgust made way for amusement. “I don’t deny that I have been a nightmarish scourge upon my enemies. A tireless monster without remorse to any who stood in my way, but there have been very few ‘defeneless’ any things that I personally killed.
“There are always casualties of war, especially when bombs are being dropped on cities and weapons of great power are being fired into the masses, but make no mistake, both sides engage in that type of warfare. Not just the Kree.”
“Drax wouldn’t lie.” Peter insisted, because it was the only thing he knew for certain.
“So you say.” Ronan smirked. “Then allow that the trauma of seeing his family felled in battle warped his mind and memories to further fuel his vengeful hate.”
“God, I don’t like you! At all!” Peter decided. “How can you just sit here and justify all this?”
“Your feelings for me mean nothing. My justifications are my own and do not require your approval or understanding.” Ronan bared his black teeth in mockery of a smile. “Though, perhaps if you used your head, you would come to understand that no one does anything unless they can justify it to themselves.”
“But you are evil.” Peter frowned.
“Perhaps. Perhaps I am simply aware of how much I must sacrifice and how far I must go in order to achieve my goals.” Ronan replied calmly. “I do not do anything without thinking it through.”
“That just makes me hate you more!” Peter exclaimed as he did finally smack his own forehead with the palm of his hand. “It means you know damn well what you are inflicting on others.”
“Better to have a knowing villain than a fool who accidentally commits evil.” Ronan scowled.
“What’s that mean?” Peter demanded.
“The men I killed and ordered killed in the Kyln were done so to protect our secrets and to protect you. I purposefully thought about and made a decision. You and your friends killed and maimed dozens of guards in order to escape. Not to protect anyone, but to free yourselves and make a profit. You can put your guilt on me, but had it not been for you five, the Kyln and all its staff and prisoners would have been spared.”
Peter sputtered in disbelief as his eyes widened in shock and a little bit of horror. “You are judging me and my friends? You?”
Ronan lifted his chin, no pout and all pride as he spoke. “I am an Accuser.”
“Pfft.” Peter rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, Buddy.”
“That’s unlikely to happen.” Ronan answered. “Even when I have a body, should anything of the sort take place I can assure you that you will be the one on your knees.”
He felt himself pale at the sight of Ronan’s black teeth as they once more flashed before him. He wasn’t sure it was right that Ronan’s smiles be so frightening, but in this instance, it made perfect sense. His mind wandered briefly into forbidden territory as he imagined just how backward the world would have to become for Peter to be one of Ronan’s lovers.
“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.” Peter decided. “Besides, you’re changing the subject. You of all people, have no right to judge me when you just admitted to purposefully committing evil. You don’t get to judge me or my friends, you psycho!”
“Peter Jason Quill, also known as Star Lord, you stand accused of willfully stealing an orb of immense power for the sole purpose of greed. For thereby causing the deaths of countless others in order to keep it from falling into my hands. For inadvertently costing the lives of men and women you’ve never spent a second thought on. For these crimes and I am sure countless more untold to me, you are to be punished.”
“Hey! Hey!” Peter shouted. “You can’t do that! I don’t acknowledge your crappy laws or weird belief system!”
“It matters not.” Ronan stated with finality. “Judgement has been passed and you will suffer the consequences.”
“How’s that? By you bugging me to death in my dreams?” Peter scoffed.
“From the moment Korath first told me of you, your fate was sealed and your sentence decided upon.” Peter froze as Ronan stepped forward into his space, and for some reason he felt an electric charge popping and snapping at him. It was like a deadly current just trying to drag him into the endless sea that was the Kree accuser. “Peter Quill, your life, however long it lasts, is mine to be done with as I choose. You will study, you will learn, you will practice, and then you will make me a body.”
Shivering and forcing himself to look away from those burning purple eyes, Peter set his shoulders back and stared up into his face with resignation and determination. “You might be my soulmate, Ronan, but you are not in charge of me.”
“That you think that I will allow you to run wild without me is incredibly naïve of you, however, that does not mean I have any wish to babysit you to the end of your days either.” Ronan paused as he looked him over in a scrutinizing way. “We will discuss this in more detail when I have a body.”
“I am not making you a body! Get it through your thick head!” Peter all but shouted as he felt a tremor of panic take hold. “You say I hurt a lot of people because of being stupid and selfish and maybe you’re right, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to purposely inflict you on the galaxy again.” Peter’s green eyes flashed as he felt that panic turn to something stronger, something more like adrenaline. He could work with that. “The Xandarians don’t deserve that and neither do my friends.”
To his surprise, Ronan bowed his head in acknowledgement, without anger or some kind of Kree hellfire. “The Xandarians may have some legitimate grievances with me, but your friends do not. Their judgements and complaints are beneath me in every manner.”
“I don’t care if they were soldiers or not, you killed Drax’s wife and daughter! He’ll never forgive you and I was his friend first!” Peter flailed.
Ronan snorted at him. “Your timeline is inconsequential. Our connection is far more important than that of yours and the Destroyer’s.” His lavender eyes found Peter’s green ones once more. “How does one earn such a title, I wonder.” Peter hesitated so the Kree continued. “What do you imagine he was in the Kyln for?
“I know of the Drax the Destroyer. He became a merciless killer, destroying anyone who crossed his path for vengeance. Sound familiar?”
“Well yeah, but-”
“And Gamora? Until she betrayed her father and I, the Zen-Whoberis never failed to complete a mission. How many do you think she murdered?”
“Okay, but you can’t-”
“And the vermin and his tree? The only reason they didn’t kill was because your bounty made it clear that you were to be brought to Yondu Udonta alive. Like their countless other bounties, you would have been delivered in a body bag had the option been available.” Peter’s eyes were narrowed but he couldn’t argue against a single point. “Why, Peter Quill, I believe this evidence makes you the only ‘decent’ man amongst the Guardians of the Galaxy.
“Your compatriots are vile, heartless, and homicidal at best. Possibly more so than you claim me to be; the only difference being that we were on opposing sides.
“One could argue that had I not ignored your calling, had I gone in Korath’s place to retrieve the orb myself, you may just as easily have joined my cause.” Ronan finished.
“I want to wake up!” Peter frowned. “I don’t want to keep talking to you anymore.”
“Because you know I am right.”
“No, it’s because you’re wrong!” Peter denied. “Yes, the others were arguably as bad as you, but at what point does it end? You hunted for the orb so that Thanos would destroy Xandar and you killed people along the way. Drax lost his family over something that didn’t even affect him, or at least it shouldn’t have. So, he starts killing Kree looking for the exact kind of vengeance you are and for basically the same reason.”
“What makes his need for revenge worthier than mine?” Ronan demanded, his voice filling with anger again.
“Nothing!” Peter shouted. “Because neither of your reasons are okay. It’s about anger and selfishness and it just keeps building. You guys just keep creating more Destroyers and Accusers with endless vendettas! It’s fucking selfish and unfair to the rest of us who have to share this galaxy with you.
“No one denies you both are right to be angry and hurt over your losses, but you are not right to inflict that same pain upon people who have no power or control over the circumstances that caused your losses. That’s true for you and Drax!”
To his surprise, Peter could feel a strange shift in his soulmate. Peter knew the feeling well as he’d been intimately acquainted with the feeling of remorse or guilt throughout the years; despite what Ronan said. Of course, the Kree had no experience with it whatsoever. Maybe Tivan was right, maybe soulmates did hold more sway over one another. He had said that the Kree were incredibly sensitive to their bond.
“Tivan said you guys were sensitive, but I had no idea…”
“Taneleer Tivan is mistaken. Kree are no more sensitive to the bond than any other species. We simply honor the bond and value it more than the other races and species.” Ronan snapped. “Terrans either ignore their bond or have simply forgotten how to recognize it. They are no longer taught about soul bonds. Xandarians embrace them, Zen-Whoberis seek them out. Centaurians hunt for theirs as well but they are far more traditional and ritualistic than Gamora’s race. Even Drax’s lowly species are taught about soulmates and honor them.”
“They sound a lot like the Kree. What is he, anyhow?” Peter asked.
“His species is nothing like the Kree. They are too inferior to even name aloud. Drax is a credit to their race, a statement that is both a compliment to him and insult to his people.” Ronan sneered in disgust before pouting angrily. Peter could tell he was trying to get back on point. “We all feel our soulmates, even Terrans. Your species just doesn’t teach or prepare you for the feeling anymore.”
“I’m never gonna get rid of you, am I?” Peter realized with a sigh.
“You cannot deny me a presence in your life unless I choose to see you as my enemy, and even then, I would hunt you down and kill you eventually.” Ronan replied calmly enough.
“Aren’t you just a fucking ray of sunshine.” Peter frowned and rubbed his face in frustration as he thought of something else, something that might shift them into a conversation that wasn’t so angry. “I’m surprised you are so willing to speak to me and interact with me. You can’t be happy with this development.”
“What am I to do?” Ronan asked. “Being angry or disappointed will not change that you are bound to me. Don’t worry, you seem far too inept to be a servant.”
“Oh goodie, two roles down and only how many more to go?” Peter rolled his eyes and yawned. He wondered if it were possible to yawn while sleeping. Had his body mimicked his mind’s mental exhaustion?
“I have kept you too long. Forgive me. I was curious.” Ronan stated and before Peter could respond or even blink Ronan disappeared and so did the strange electrical charge.
Peter caught the sound of whistling once more and looked down at the flowers. He found the world around him becoming blurry as he focused on the tune and attempted to think about the conversation he and Ronan just had. It was difficult though, because his mind didn’t want to focus on words anymore. It wanted to focus on the melody it heard.
He could feel a soft smile forming on his face. What he was hearing was something that Yondu used to whistle anytime he was around Tullk, come to think of it. Peter hadn’t realized it until just now as he heard the song again. Yondu told him years ago that it was one Centuarians sang or played just before an important hunt. Could it be that the hunt he referred to was that of his soulmate? Honestly, it made the most sense considering what Ronan just told him, but Peter had ignored things like that when he was younger. He didn’t believe soulmates were real and Yondu didn’t seem interested in teaching him anything about it.
As he thought on Yondu and Tullk, he understood why the Centaurian had briefly given up when his crew went after him. At least he did now that Gamora and Drax had told him what happened to soulmates when their bonded died. Yondu had been broken and incapable of fighting the mutinous Taserface, because Tullk had been killed right in front of him. Did Tullk’s passing make it easier for Yondu to give up his life for Peter?
He knelt down by the flowers again and touched the one made for Yondu and sighed. “I miss you, Yondu. You were a surly bastard, but I’d give anything to hear you threatening to give me to the crew to eat.”
Once again Ronan’s Nessifer flower entered his mind with a wave of concern and something that was close to pity but wasn’t…Oh. Sympathy. He looked around, sure that he would see Ronan standing nearby, but he was wrong. The museum remained empty of all but him, the pond, and the flowers. He was only a little disappointed and relieved at the same time.
What the Hell was wrong with him?