Shovel, Meet Dirt.

Bruce read through the email one more time before shoving his phone in his pocket. “Are you sure this is something you want to do?” Nat asked him as they stood in the Commons kitchen, comparing notes and grabbing a cup of coffee.

Bruce gave her a crooked, shaky smile before shrugging his shoulders, “Yes and no.”

“It’s okay not to want to talk to him. Hell, it’s okay not to talk to him at all. I made you a promise that I’d handle him, and I’ve been doing that just fine,” the redhead reminded him. She gave Bruce one of their secret smiles. “I don’t think he likes my Monster too much though.”

“It’s okay, I have no doubt you’re handling it. By the way, I happen to love your Monster. She’s just as terrifying as mine.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his hands on top of the shapely curves of her ass. Nat raised an incredulous eyebrow. Bruce chuckled, “Okay, you’re right. Yours is more terrifying. She plans and likes to play people like they’re chess pieces. I can appreciate that.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t know how to break it to you, but I do that when I’m not being her, that’s just me being me. You always have to look at ALL the pictures—the big one, the hundreds or thousands of small ones, and then there’s those that are the small pictures within the big picture—they all make a mural. Sometimes that mural can be the size of a skyscraper, too. See where I’m going with this?” Bruce nodded as he listened. “Love, I learned it as a child, and I don’t see me getting out of the habit anytime soon. You have to be prepared for everything. Just pretend it’s String Theory if that makes more sense, okay?” She kissed him on the nose.

Bruce gave her a look that said, Yeah, I know. “You do realize I understand how to play chess and map ecosystems?”

Nat got as close to a sigh as she ever did with Bruce. “Then pretend you’re playing Interdimensional Chess.” Bruce’s brow furrowed slightly. “Ah, see? The rules change a bit, do they not?”

“I don’t know how you keep track of all your pieces,” Bruce said as he shrugged again and shook his head. He was about to kiss her, but he sensed others were in the room now.

“Okay, I’ve been standing here listening to your comparison, Nat, and I still don’t get it. How about a little less genius or whatever you want to call that,” Sam waved his hand around in a circular motion, “and give me the teen-rated game version.” He gave both of them an exasperated look and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nat fought off giving Sam an eye roll, but she couldn’t keep the sigh out of her voice, “Okay, fine, how about this? Think of the people involved as Sims.” She knew Sam, Steve, and a few of their other teammates played that set of games. “They rarely do what you want, and you have to push them into being your chess characters, so you can at least force them into playing by the rules already set by the pieces you’ve assigned them?”

“So a pawn moves or acts like a pawn, and a bishop moves or acts like a bishop.” Sam turned around, holding his coffee in hand. “See that? That, I got.” He gave her a thumbs up.

“I even got that,” Steve said, sounding a little under caffeinated as Sam handed him a fresh mug from the cabinet.

“Ha! As did I!” Thor added cheerily as he walked through the doorway. “Is it time to fire up the games already? I’ve been practicing on your tiny controller and nunchuck device, so I’m ready to bowl!”

Natasha reached down and grabbed Bruce’s hand. The kitchen was getting a little too crowded. “Come on. We still have plenty of time before we need to leave.”

“What are you proposing?” Bruce asked, his voice dropping a bit.

“I don’t know. What are you offering?” she responded teasingly.

~*~

I’m right here. You’ll do fine. It won’t hurt him if you scare the shit out of him either. Might do him some good. Remember, I love you. No matter what. Bruce smiled as he heard Nat’s husky voice in his ear. He texted her back an “I love you!” and “What do you want to do for dinner?” while he sat there in the interrogation room and waited for his visit with his father. He smiled from ear to ear when Nat responded back with a simple, Me? 

The next moment, the old scientist entered the sparsely-furnished room escorted by two large orderlies who reminded Bruce of Korg the Kronan minus the rocky alien’s charming sense of humor. Today, Brian Banner was wearing shackles on his ankles as well as chains and cuffs on his thin wrists. The guards fastened his restraints to the metal rod which ran along the top of the table and in turn was bolted into the floor. Bruce wasn’t sure if that was for his protection or the old man’s just in case Hulk wanted to throw him across the room. Once Brian Banner was seated and secured, the guards stationed themselves by the door, and the father and son both stared at each other for a few minutes. Time, Bruce decided, had not treated the older Banner so well.

“Alright, Pop. You wanted to see me about fixing some problem I have. Well, here I am.” Bruce took a sip from the paper cup he’d brought with him, “So, how are you?”

“Just fine, son. You seem happy. You were smiling. What’s that about?” Brian asked gruffly as he kept eyeing the physicist seated across the table from him.

“I was making plans for later,” Bruce shrugged noncommittally. “You know, like normal people do.”

“No doubt they’re with that Romanoff woman.” Brian sniffed, “You smell like her. You know she’s old enough to be your mother?”

“I don’t have a problem with a December/May romance, especially since our cells age around the same rate. This way I don’t have to worry about losing her so soon.”

Bruce could hear Brian grind his teeth together. “You know that’s never going to happen. Not with your little ‘radiation problem.’ If you don’t outright kill her, you’re probably leaking it through your saliva, your skin, and especially your cum.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Bruce watched his father’s face with amusement. “Did you want to make sure that I didn’t kill my girlfriend through some sort of radiation exposure?”

Brian tried to cross his arms over his chest, rattling the chains awkwardly as he did. “Is it so shocking that I still give a damn about you?”

Bruce chuckled, “Isn’t it a little late for the concern and the sex talk, Dad?” He shook his head at the audacity of this small man whom he used to fear, but now, staring at him, Bruce almost blanked out on why. “Not that it was needed, but that is one of the reasons why Stark and I repurposed some of my previous research. Now, we have some convenient little pills the team takes to prevent any sort of radiation poisoning. Really though, it’s mainly because we walk into all kinds of dangerous areas, and they’re precautionary, like vitamins or flu shots.” Brian looked at him suspiciously. “You see, Pop, I restarted the research for my own selfish reasons since I had similar fears, but now the treatment can be used for people who need to go into radiation contaminated areas for extended periods of time or those who suffer exposure due to a nuclear meltdown, for example. We’re giving a presentation on this and some other research at the International Science Symposium next week.”

“Good for you,” Brian said begrudgingly. “Yet, how predictable that it took a woman to ‘inspire’ you to do something worthwhile.”

Bruce snorted, “I suppose you expect me to trot out my résumé for your approval, Dad? It would have to be the abbreviated version since Tony, Natasha, and I tend to make as many weapons together as we do other breakthroughs. We and the R&D Division make a pretty good team.” Bruce smiled confidently again. Talking about Nat tended to make him do that. Bruce’s comm came to life in his ear, Push him further. There’s something more. Just Nat’s voice helped steady any anger he needed to keep in check.

“So, just out of curiosity, Dad, why do you care about how much radiation I put out during certain ‘activities’?” The old man continued to glower at him stonely. “Sounds a little salacious to me. Why would you of all people care if I endanger a loved one since you’re the monster who murdered my mother and then tried to get me to lie about it?” Bruce’s eyes flashed green as he remembered. “I certainly didn’t learn any tender, sentimental lessons from you.”

“Excuse me! I thought you might appreciate some of my insights, son. I believe I know how to separate the man from the Monster. You could finally be normal, a real human. Maybe even live up to your potential and be the scientist I know you can be and not some lackey living off that pretender Stark’s generosity,” the old man spat with bitter jealousy.

Bruce stared at him unblinkingly for a few moments, taking in the depth and scope of his father’s rage. “What makes you think I want to separate myself from Hulk?”

The older scientist looked genuinely shocked, “Why wouldn’t you? That’s all I’ve ever wanted was to remove the taint, the monstrosity from you, boy. Since you were a toddler and displayed this . . . freakishness, it’s been my responsibility to root it out, crush it, and keep it from infecting the world. Once you’re free of the monster, we can cure your mind. Your mother could never see how dangerous you are when left to your own devices!”

“How dare you even speak of her,” Bruce said in a low dark voice.

Brian leaned forward, straining against the chains that held him. “She was going to take you away and let your contamination loose on the world.” He tried to stand and fell back into the chair. “Rebecca defied me! I had no choice but to stop both of you. Now, we can correct my mistake and separate you from this disease, Bruce! I could help you do this.”

Bruce shook his head, “I spent two years on another planet as Hulk. He’s not what you think he is. We both love Natasha and Natasha loves us, no matter what. That’s something you never understood. You’re the only real monster in this family. It’s always been you, Dad.”

The old man ground his teeth. “You’re wrong. I’m not going to let you . . .”

“Anything else, Dad? I’m not going to stick around and play mind games while you try to get me to sink to your level.”

Brian snorted, “‘Cause you’re such a perfect Angel with your perfect friends and a lover who’d just as soon stick a knife in you as look at you. You’re not going to have a happy ending.”

“Compared to you?” Bruce laughed and stood up. He’d heard enough. “That’s sweet.”

The older man jerked against his restraints, “Like it or not, you little monster, eventually, you will lose control and kill your precious spy.”

Bruce smiled down at him, and his father watched his eyes flash green, “No, WE won’t.” Bruce tossed his empty cup in the trash can, turned his head from side to side, and rolled his shoulders to loosened them up with a very Hulk-like gesture.

Brian jerked against the shackles furiously. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing?! You stay away from her, you mistake, you mutant! You should not be together. All you’re going to do is make more monsters like yourselves!”

Bruce pulled on his leather jacket, letting his father struggle until he was actually frothing a bit at the mouth. “It’s been nice seeing you, Dad. I’ll be sure to give Natasha your regards.”

“Listen to me! You don’t even know. You’re not human. Her blood, I tested it. I’m trying to save the world from you both and your spawn!” The old man couldn’t believe Bruce wasn’t reacting as he’d expected. This couldn’t be happening! He knew how to put this brat in his place! “I have connections and they will take you all out! You hear me?! You will have no one! You deserve no one! No love! No friends! Run all you want. I will find you!”

As he calmly folded his glasses and slipped them into a breast pocket, Bruce looked down at the sputtering, shrunken old man in institutional scrubs and thin slippers. “At one point, I would have agreed with you, Pop. Let me make this clear, you are a pathetic wastrel of a man who’s always been insanely jealous of his own son. Before I was out of first grade, it was clear I surpassed you in raw intelligence. Most fathers would have been proud and nurtured their child’s gifts and talents. Most fathers would have loved their child whether or not he had those things going for him. Now, grow the fuck up.” Bruce’s eyes flashed green again for a moment and he leaned down close in his father’s face and almost whispered, “Continue to spy on me or my friends, and I’ll show you what a proper beating is, and I won’t need any help from a friend, green or otherwise.” The younger Banner straightened back up. “I’m not scared of you anymore, old man. You’re not my Boogeyman. However, I can be yours. It seems only fair . . .  or would you prefer Natasha? I’m sure she’d enjoy the role. She hasn’t let loose in a while, not in that way.” Bruce walked to the door, “Have a good day, Dad.” The orderlies stood aside and opened the door, so the Avenger could walk straight out into the hall.

Brian Banner sat stunned and breathing hard in his shackles. He’d played every card he had. Pushed every button. Opened every scarred wound possible. He’d expected to be able to bully and browbeat his son into anger and tears. He’d hoped to get to his inner monster, so Ross’s cohorts would have a justifiable excuse to take Bruce and maybe even his little red-headed assassin into custody. That clearly hadn’t happened. The old man’s thoughts were crashing forward faster than an out of control locomotive. What had happened to his cowering son? Did being with that Romanoff woman make him stronger or had he found his own backbone? What was going on? He’d played the boy like always and pushed every damn button. Hell, he’d installed those triggers there long ago himself to bring him down. What the hell had happened? Somehow he’d lost control. How the hell would he get it back now!?!?

~*~

As Bruce walked down the tiled hallway, he pulled the comm from his shirt collar and pocketed it. He signed out at the front desk and nodded his thanks to the former S.H.I.E.L.D. operative he recognized behind the counter.

“Everything go okay, Dr. Banner?” the mature woman with a streak of gray in her brown hair asked.

“Same ol’ Dad, Mrs. Fischer,” he said with a shrug.

She shook her head a little sadly, “We’ll do our best to keep him out of trouble then. As his legal guardian, you can petition the facility's medical review panel to have him put back on his medication if you think that would make a difference.”

“No, that just turned him into a zombie last time. He didn’t even know who he was or how to feed himself. I wouldn’t wish that on him again. Either way, medications alone won’t fix him until he realizes he’s what’s broken.”

The woman nodded, “I understand.” She looked over his shoulder and through the glass doors at the parking lot and smiled knowingly. “Looks like your ride’s here, Doctor.”

Bruce grinned and waved good-bye. “Thank you!”

“It’s about time, Doc,” Natasha drawled with an easy smile as she sat waiting on the back of her Harley-Davidson LiveWire.

“Well, did you nail his ‘connections’?” Bruce asked as she handed him his helmet. “I think the point of his wanting me out here was to set me off, so Ross’s goons could haul me in and trump something up.” Bruce shook his head, “The old man really doesn’t understand that the Big Guy feels the same way I do. He murdered our mother. Neither of us will ever forgive that old fool or give him what he wants. On that, Hulk and I are in complete agreement.”

Natasha gave her beloved a hug and held him close for a moment. “I knew you could both handle him. I’m sure the guys will tell us about the accomplices later. First, you owe me a dinner date,” Nat reminded him.

Bruce put on his helmet, swung his leg over the back of the sleek black motorcycle and settled comfortably onto the leather seat behind her. Natasha hit the ignition then the accelerator to the electric machine, and he wrapped his arms around her, ready for any adventure she might choose to share.