”Hey Cas,” Dean called after Cas’ retreating figure. “How about we watch a movie tonight? Once we’re done with this case?”
Dean almost missed Cas’ smile as he turned back to answer him. “That sounds perfect, Dean. Let’s just finish this case. I still haven’t caught up with the Star Trek movies.”
“Alright buddy. Text me if you find anything.”
_
Dean woke up with a jolt. His hair was plastered to his forehead and sweat coated his skin. The nightmares never stopped. They were the same. Always the same. The day of Cas’ death played in a loop in his head each time Dean went to sleep.
Cas’ death was not meant to happen. That was why Dean could never come to terms with it. It was on a Thursday morning and Dean had come across a case. Sam had called in sick and Dean and Cas decided to check it out. It was supposed to be a simple ‘salt and burn’. The case, of course, went smoothly, but what followed was anything but.
Dean shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His dark circles were prominent and Dean was really tired, but he was afraid to go to sleep. He was afraid to relive the day that he had lost everything.
Cas had been living as a human for the past three years. His grace bled out when Lucifer had stabbed him. It was Jack, the nephilim, who had brought Cas back to life. Though it took some time, Cas had adjusted to the human life pretty well. He had lived in the bunker with Dean and Sam and the three of them did what they always did - save people. Of course there were loads of rough patches along the way but none they couldn’t handle. They learnt to get the nephilim under control and raise him. Jack turned out not to be a pain in the ass after all. But of course things, as they bound to do so, changed.
Dean groaned in exhaustion. He did not want to think about that day. He did not want to think of the day he had lost not only his best friend but his brother too. Yes that was also the day Dean lost Sam.
-
“You’re getting better at this Cas,” Dean chuckled, placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder as they were returning back to the bunker after yet another successful case.
“At being a human or at hunting?” Cas tilted his head a little as he looked up at Dean.
“Both.”
Dean splashed some water on his face and tried to get the memory out of his head. He did not need to be asleep to remember that fateful day. The whole thing was etched in his memory.
As Cas and Dean stepped foot into the bunker, Sam twisted a knife into Cas’ back and Cas was dead before Dean could realise what was happening.
“Sam! What have you done?” Dean shouted.
But Sam just stood there… grinning.
That’s when Dean knew.
“Lucifer.”
“I would say that it’s nice to see you again Dean, but it’s really not,” Lucifer said, shrugging.
“Get out of my brother.” Dean’s voice was deadly calm but Lucifer hardly flinched.
“Actually I will. But not before I kill you too.”
“How did you get into Sammy? He would never have said yes.”
Lucifer’s grin, if it was possible, grew wider. “Thanks to my son here, he didn’t need to.”
And that’s when Dean’s eyes fell on Jack.
“Jack? What are you-?”
“I’m sorry, Dean. Lucifer is my father.”
Jack had just shrugged at Dean but Dean could see the regret in his eyes.
“We raised you, Jack. Sam, Cas and I. We considered you as our family.”
“I’m sorry Dean.”
That was it. That was all Jack had to say.
“Ah a pity.” Lucifer now stood over Cas’ lifeless body. “He was my favourite, you know. Before dad kicked me out.”
“You stay the hell away from him!” Dean’s vision turned red and the only thing that stopped him from taking out Lucifer was the fear that he would hurt Sam.
“He loved you, you know that right?” Lucifer had looked at Dean with an amused expression. “I learnt that when I bunked in his head while our aunt Amara was a threat.”
Dean had known. He had known that Cas loved him. He had loved Cas back. But both were too afraid to convey their feelings. If there was one thing Dean regretted, it was this. It was the fact that he never got to say those three words to Cas. And now his angel was dead and he would never ever say those words to anyone else again.
Dean had survived that day, but he was the only one. As Lucifer had advanced towards Dean, a blinding light had swallowed the bunker. Jack had saved Dean by ripping Lucifer to shreds and expelling his life force. Jack had exerted himself and was dead in the blink of an eye. But Sam? No, Sam went on but he wasn’t the same. He had completely lost his mind. Sam didn’t recognise his elder brother anymore. He went completely crazy and Dean had tried his best to help his younger brother. But in the end, Sam’s mind gave out and he was dead in three weeks.
Dean Winchester was alone.
-
Dean had shut himself away in the bunker for the first three months. Jody’s and Donna’s attempts to get him back on his feet were fruitless. It took three whole months before Dean started hunting again. He always hunted alone now.
Every Sunday he would visit the cemetery where Sam and Cas were buried. He couldn’t bring himself to cremate them. He would first kneel in front of his brother’s gravestone with a bottle in his hand. He would let the tears flow freely. He would talk to Sam about whatever case he was working on. He would talk to Sam about how research was a pain in the ass. But above all, he would promise Sam that he would kick his ass the next time he saw him.
Mourning for Cas never took long. All Dean had to do was kneel down in front of his grave and whisper those three words.
'I love you’
It was to make up for all those times he could never bring himself to tell those words to his fallen angel.
It was a Sunday morning when he got an unexpected visitor. He had been returning back to the bunker after mourning when he saw a man with an eyepatch standing in front of the locked doors of the bunker.
“Dean Winchester, I presume?”
The man was obviously a leader. He looked the type - with the way he carried himself and the note of authority in his voice.
“How do you know my name?”
“Oh we know all about you Mr. Winchester,” The man said, smiling. “My name’s Nick Fury and I’m the director of SHIELD.”
“SHIELD?”
“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”
“I know what it stands for and I know exactly what it means,” Dean said, annoyed. “What does it have to do with me?”
“So I’m sure you’ve heard of the Avengers.”
It wasn’t a question… not really.
“Yes I have. A bunch of tight dressed people saving the world from aliens is kinda hard to miss.”
One end of Director Fury’s mouth quirked upward in a slight smile.
“I’m here to ask you,” Nick Fury said, pausing dramatically. “How do you feel about becoming an Avenger?”
-
Dean twirled the card in one hand and held a bottle of beer in the other. It had been three days since Fury had contacted him. Dean had refused his proposal but Director Fury had given him a card with a number and had asked Dean to contact him if he ever changed his mind.
Dean had enough going on with his life with hunting spirits and demons and he did not need to add aliens to the list, thank you very much. Plus donning a superhero costume and fighting crime in the streets was not his thing.
But three days can do a lot to a person. Dean had never stopped thinking about the offer. It would be a chance at a new lifestyle. It would be a second chance for Dean. But what really convinced Dean to punch in the number and say yes to Director Fury was Sam. Dean had remembered the first sentence that Sammy had ever formed when he was just a year and a half old.
'You’re ma superhero De'
Maybe he could finally live up to that.