Prologue
October 31st, 1981
"Lily, I don't understand why we can't tell Regulus about Sirius not being the secret keeper."
Lily glances up from the book that she's reading on her lap as a young baby rests peacefully tucked under a blanket beside her on the couch. The room is lit by the calming fire in front of her as she watches James sipping out of a cup while he rests in the chair that is off to the side. The sounds of a house elf moving about in the kitchen only barely noticeable.
"James you know that this is the best thing that we can do to keep him safe. It's hard enough as it is keeping his relationship with us a secret while he is with that vile man and that's only thanks to his very powerful occlumency."
James sighs heavily before placing his mug down on the table in front of him.
"I know you're right but it feels wrong lying to him like this. It's bad enough we have to hide the nature of our relationship from everyone but to lie to him like this too just doesn't sit right with me."
Lily grabs her bookmark and slides it into the page she's reading before closing the book and placing it on the table near James' mug. She gets up from her spot and walks over to the right side of James and places her hand on his shoulder and uses her other arm to shift the unruly hair from his face. She leans down to place a kiss onto his forehead before she smiles at him, a little sadly.
"I'm not saying you're wrong but you were also the one who thought it would be best to hide our relationship with him out of fear from how Sirius would react," he sheepishly looks at her knowing she's right.
James reaches forward and grabs her by the waist and pulls her into his lap so that she's sitting across him and wraps his arms securely around her. He leans forward until his head is leaning against her shoulder. He isn't fully sure how they got to this point only that he wishes they hadn't. The hole that Regulus has left in his absence only grows stronger as he misses the weight of both of them on him. He lifts his head and glances towards the couch and smiles slightly at the sight of their sleeping son.
"It's not that I'm afraid of Sirius' reaction, I just miss him. I hate the fact that he can't be here and that he's missing these moments with our son."
She knows what he means. It's been so long since they've been able to properly talk to Regulus, since he has to have as little contact with the both of them as is strictly necessary. They haven't told anyone about their relationship with Regulus, including Dumbledore, because as much as she trusts the man they needed to know what was actually going on with the Death Eaters. There's so much that they, or the Order don't know or fully understand about the intricacy of the Death Eaters.
There are things that she hasn't even told James that she's done to ensure that no matter what happens to them Regulus will still be able to care for Harry. They have a joint will which was recommended considering the circumstances but there is a separate will that she has from James that she put under the surname with Regulus just in case. She doesn't need it, she knows that but it felt like it was the right thing to do she just hates having to keep it a secret from him.
Lily has this innate feeling about the joint wills which is why she sent a letter to the goblins with her own separate one attached detailing what she wants to happen with Harry if they're all gone. She knows that it's overly cautious to do so considering all three of them may end up dead or alive by the end of this but she wants what's best for Harry because that is what he deserves. James wouldn't approve of her reconciling with Severus but they grew up together and he's one of the only people in her life that she knows implicitly would help care for Harry if they're all gone, if she's gone.
She understands that he made a mistake considering how much the rest of the Marauders bullied him in the beginning and especially so after the fallout. Part of her hates herself for not stepping in when it got really bad with all of them. She's thankful that she managed to figure things out with Severus so that he could teach Regulus occlumency before he went undercover as she fears how much worse it could have been if that didn't happen. James never questioned how Regulus got so good at it and was simply thankful that he was, he assumed it was simply because he was a Black.
Being a Black certainly helped with their natural gift towards magic but Regulus still wouldn't have been as prepared as he is now without Severus. She fondly remembers the letter that she received about how Severus begrudgingly admitted that not all the men in her life are incompetent and that he surprisingly didn't hate the time that he spent in Regulus' presence. Severus even alluded to the fact that Regulus was someone he could respect. He's also one of the only people who could guess that there may be something more to the favour that she asked but understood why she couldn't tell him more.
Lily believes that Severus actually likes Regulus, which isn't hard to do, but she knows that Severus would rather cut off his arm than admit it to her or himself. She always thought that they would get along well considering their circumstances. Even though Regulus was loved by Walburga it was at the cost of Regulus having to act a certain way lest he gets the ire from his mother the same way Sirius did. Severus would understand difficult home life and how that can shape you as a person. There was a fear that he wouldn't teach Regulus because of the fact he is related to Sirius and he was one of Severus' biggest tormentors but that fear was unfounded as both, Regulus and Severus, were similar enough in personality and interest to actually get along.
They both glances up when they heard the pop of a house elf appear in front of them, "Master and mistress I haves the food prepared for yous and the little one."
Lily smiles at Mellie, "thank you Mellie, we'll just have the food here."
The house elf nods before popping away and a moment later another pop is heard as two plates are now seen on the table as well as a bottle filled with milk. Lily taps Jame's arm, who lets go at the prompt, before getting up to grab some of the food and starts to eat some. She almost moans at the taste of it but refrains from doing so before reaching for the bottle of milk and moving towards the couch to gently lift Harry and shift him into a comfortable position.
She smiles down at the young boy before trying to gently wake him up enough so that he doesn't have any issues drinking the formula, "Harry my sweet boy I need you to wake up for a little bit."
The baby slowly blinks awake, but only slightly, before she gently pushes the bottle into his mouth as he starts to suck on it. James watches on with a small sad, but fond, smile on his face. He isn't sure how he got so lucky to have this beautiful strong women in his life but he is so thankful for it. He imagines the face Regulus would have while staring at them both and almost lets out a chuckle as he remembers the face he made the first time he saw Lily feeding Harry. It was as if he was gobsmacked at the thought of Lily creating something so amazing and turned towards him and started playfully hitting his chest and glancing back and forth between them all.
He sits there and just watches them as he slowly consumes his own food and just hopes that nothing takes this away from him. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if they weren't here in his life. The only thing missing from this moment is Regulus sitting in the other chair reading the Daily prophet and drinking his black tea. He's not sure how much time passes, it could have been 3 minutes or 3 hours but there's no place he'd rather be. He eventually pulls his gaze away and glances towards the grandfather clock that rests near the entryway and notices the time.
"Lils, we should head to bed soon. Regulus is supposed to be able to sneak away in the morning to spend a couple hours with us. You need to get as much energy as you can because you know we're gonna tire you out much more than the baby will," he groans as he gets up from his spot and stretches his back out.
Lily looks towards James with an exasperated eye roll, "the only one who will tire me out potter is Regulus. You seem to be getting too old to keep up with us."
James shoots a mock glare her way before placing his hand on his chest in mock hurt, "how could you say that to me! I'm a very spry man, I can easily keep up with the lot of you."
She lets out a laugh while shaking her head fondly, "we both know you're the one who passes out first between the three of us after we're done."
"Sh, don't say that out loud what if someone hears you. They'll think I can't keep up with you!"
An exasperated laugh leaves her lips," It's not like that would be the wrong assumption considering how much you two compete with each other. It could last hours before one of you gives up."
James pouts, "But you don't have to put it like that. It's not my fault my stamina isn't as good as it used to be."
"That's because you're getting older, love."
She extends her arms forward and James goes towards her and picks Harry up and shifts so he lays comfortably in his grasp while Lily places the near empty bottle beside the plate and grabs a couple more bites of food before she dusts herself off and gets up. They both head up the stairs and go towards the nursery. James places Harry into the crib before placing a kiss onto his head and moves to the side so that Lily can do the same. Lily tucks Harry in and makes sure everything is right before moving back into Jame's waiting arms.
"Goodnight son. You know I love you."
"Goodnight my sweet boy, I love you so much."
They head out of the nursery and towards their room and start to get ready for bed but James has this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach and glances towards Lily and sees a look of apprehension on her face. He knows there's nothing wrong but he feels as if there is. He opens his mouth while staring at Lily and calls out, "Mellie, can you come here for a moment please."
They hear a pop and the small hosue elf appears in front of them, "how can I's help yous Master Potter."
He looks towards the elf before looking towards Lily and sees her nod her head. James turns his head towards the house elf again, "I need you to do something for me."
Mellie bobs her head, "Of course Master. Anything."
He feels an almost phantom pain in his body that he feels as if it was something that he has felt before but can't recall where he would have as he doesn't recognise the feeling. He's not sure what it is but it's almost like a cool breeze passes through his body and he lets out an involuntary shiver at the feeling.
"If anything happens to us I need you to take Harry someplace safe and get Regulus to him as soon as you can."
The house elf looks up at James with a look of understanding, "of course master. Mr. Regulus sir would happily take care of young Master Harry."