Kraglin let out a sharp whistle, followed almost immediately by a loud groan as he stuck the arrow into the wall next to his make-shift target once again. hundreds of holes surrounded it, only three had made it anywhere close to a bullseye. He was beginning to get frustrated with the thing as a whole, all it did was remind him of the Cap’n who’d probably still be around if it weren’t for Kraglin.
He knew! Kraglin knew the moment Yondu gave him that stupid Zune “for safe keeping”, that he wasn’t going to be coming back to the ship alive. If at all. And he let him go anyway! He let the man who’d saved his ass countless times before just walk to his death, and now he had a constant reminder of that attached to the top of his head.
He didn’t even want Yondu’s fin! Frankly, Kraglin thought it should have burned up and died with the Cap’n, left to float through the galaxy like all the rest of the space-dust that Yondu’s body had been reduced to. But when Peter, wet-eyed and mourning, held the fin and arrow out to him and brokenly said, “he’d want you to have these,” How could he say no to a man he’d considered his brother? So he took the fin and arrow and carried them with as much pride as his heart would let him, because that’s what Cap’n would have wanted.
Getting used to it was difficult. Kraglin would constantly bang the fin on doorways, and sleeping with it attached to him proved to be very uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure how Yondu lived with such an annoying thing on his head. Part of it could have been the appeal of being able to kill people easily, or the connection to his species.. But there was no such connection like that for the Xandarian, and he wasn’t usually much for battle, unless it was needed. And at the rate he was going with his practice, he wouldn’t be ready for battle for years.
Kraglin groaned and slumped down in a nearby chair, closing his eyes and trying not to think of how disappointed Yondu would be. Footsteps approached him, and he heard whoever it was clear their throat. He looked up and saw Quill, which made him smile a bit. “Hey, Pete. Whadduya want?”
Peter pulled up a chair and sat opposite to Kraglin, taking a quick glance over at the wall that he’d have to ask Rocket to fix. “I’m going to guess that you don’t want me to ask how the training with the arrow is going...”
“It was stupid ‘a me to get this fin attached. I can’t do this, Pete. I ain’t like he was. I don’t have the ‘whistle of an angel’, or whatever. I can barely get the damn thing through the wall!” He threw his hands up in exasperation and shook his head, “shoulda put the spare fin into space with him. He’s the only one who could do this right.”
“Don’t say that too loud, he might come back from the dead and laugh at you for saying something like that,” Peter smiled, albeit a bit sadly. “He wouldn’t want you to be sitting here pouting about it.. I can almost hear him.” Peter puffed his chest out and did his best Yondu impression, “c’mon, boy! Get off yer ass and git workin’! Y’ain’t gonna learn by sittin’ there!”
That made Kraglin crack up a little, Peter had gotten pretty good at imitating the Cap’n over the years. He was much better at it now then he was when he first joined the crew. But it only lifted his mood momentarily. “I ain’t learnin’ by doin’ it either.”
Peter sighed and nodded a little, “I’m gonna tell you something Yondu told me about how he gets the arrow to work, alright? You can’t think about it too much. Don’t use your head to make it fly, use your heart.”
Kraglin snorted, “ain’t no way Cap’n said some corny shit like that.” It did make sense, in a way, though. But how could he not think about it? The precision that it needed, there’s no way ’using your heart’ could achieve that.
“I know it sounds stupid, but try it. If I trust any of Yondu’s advice it would be any about using that arrow,” Peter smiled and lightly punched Kraglin’s shoulder, “you’ll get better at it. Yondu would be damn proud of you already. Even if he wouldn’t say it.”
“Shut up, Pete. Don’t say that shit,” Kraglin snapped. “He ain’t got nothin to be proud of.”
The Terran paused and furrowed his brow at his friend, “Krags, what’s going on, man?”
“I’m the reason he’s dead! I knew he was gon’ die soon as he gave me that music thing!” Small tears formed in the corners of Kraglin’s eyes. It wasn’t like Ravagers to get outwardly emotional, but recently Kraglin had been ignoring that little bit of Ravager culture. He let out a sob and looked to the floor, “ ‘s my fault, Pete..”
“Hey. Don’t give me that shit. What happened.. That ain’t anyone’s fault. You hear me? Yondu did what he did to save me, and I have to live with that! I have to make sure I don’t screw up my life, so that what he did wasn’t in vain!” Peter huffed and felt a stinging in his eyes. He looked away and sniffled, “I had to watch him die, Krags. There was no anger or regret in his eyes, I can tell you that.” He took a deep breath as he stood and headed toward the doorway, pattingKraglin’s shoulder on his way out.
Kraglin was stunned. He sat, staring at Peter’s chair for a long while after the man had left the room, processing what had been said. His breathing quickened and he held his face in his hands as he cried. “It ain’t your fault,” he said softly to himself, “it ain’t… It ain’t.”
His whole body shook as he stood. He walked over to the wall of holes and pulled the arrow from it. Taking a few steps back, Kraglin continued to speak to himself, “c’mon, you got this. ‘Use your heart’, pete said, okay..”
He steadied himself and allowed himself to just feel. He felt all the anger and grief and guilt that he’d fended off for weeks and let it wash over him. Kraglin took a deep breath and let out long whistle that was sharp at first, to get it through the wall, but softened as he made the arrow come back to him. He grabbed it out of the air next to his head and smiled brightly.
In the wall there was a single hole right at the edge of the bullseye. It wasn’t perfect, but it was sure getting there. Cap’n would be proud.